It has been brought to my attention that I used an errant "it's" in my email about this post. Humblest apologies. Send money and I'll hire a proofreader. Thanks.

Your writing talent makes me smile!

Aw, thanks.

Love this post. Brings back a lot of memories. I moved to Ann Arbor in '71, went to three years of middle school, only to be held there against my will in 9th grade, also. I also remember the stores with the same facination that you wrote about. I remember going into original Borders in my early teens on and soaking up the atmosphere with the college students. Store on Liberty lost most of the unique feel of the original. Some of my other favorite stores that I would make my rounds on were Sam's, Mo's and Drake's. Quaint, yummy food and lots of candy for a child to choose from.
Thanks for taking me back and remembering some of the better times of being a teenager.

I loved Sam's. Best jeans store ever. My girlfriends and I would flirt outrageously with the college-aged staff. It's where I bought all my painters pants. And Drake's had the best tuna sandwiches. Several of my housemates in college worked there. Thanks for commenting. Which high school did you go to?

Whoa! This is a hot topic. First let me say this about your son: life will be his teacher. I used to think my older son would never learn directions. We'd leave our home to go to Old Orchard, and he'd head for the lake! I was astounded! He didn't know east from west. I'd quiz him on street names (which he resented) trying to help him get a sense of his location -- where things were. One summer he and a friend just started driving driving driving -- all around -- just to talk. They learned the area inside out and backwards Then he went to Columbia College in the city and had to take the el. He can navigate that system far better than I! He just took his first independent trip to the West coast - rented a car (just turned 25) and made his way from Seattle to San Francisco. He learned it when he needed it.

I'm more interested in the fine line between enabling and supporting. When are we SUPPORTING our kids -- helping them along in a complex world -- and when does that support become ENABLING--especially in younger years. All decent parents help kids at some level with homework--getting organized; helping them puzzle out a difficult assignment, encouraging; setting up systems that their young brains can't figure out. If they're struggling when do you let them fall on their face -- or does that make them discouraged and convinced they're "dumb" or "can't do it?" What if they have a learning disability? The answer isn't easy -- and there isn't a one-size fits all answer either. Encouraging independence is great, but no magic formula for how much when. No user manuel for parenting.

Thanks for your thoughts, Linda. I've been reading a lot of commentary that today's college students are unprepared for the "real" world, having been coached and supported, enabled and facilitated their entire lives. Reports are that they have no experience with failure and have difficulty making their own decisions. I guess sometimes experience isn't only the best teacher, it may be the only way we really learn how to stand on our own two feet.

You have again read my mind. (How do you keep doing that?!)

I was just kicking myself today over this very topic as it pertains to my son. He is a teenager with zero cooking skills & zero interest in learning any. And it's my fault, a direct result of my incorrect thought that it was easier (and safer) for me to handle all of the cooking.

If only I could turn back time, he would be whipping up fabulous feasts, all ten fingers attached.

Jenny — I don't know if you need to worry about your son's cooking skills. Teenage boys always seem able to feed themselves. My brother learned that if he could cook one thing well (preferably an appetizer or a dessert) then he would always be invited to dinner parties, where other people would feed him. Try that line on your son to get him started.

On the other hand, if you could teach a to clean up after dinner, his future significant other will love you forever.

And about reading your mind, my spies are everywhere.

I do think that Linda is right, and at a certain point we just have to let life step in and help.

Since I'm a mom of boys, of course my example involves the bathroom. Up until the time my now 19-year old was 6 or so, he would ask me to come in the bathroom when he was finished and help him . . . clean. I didn't really think much about it. I'm the mom, right?

Problem was, we had a small house with a bathroom door a little uncomfortably close to the dining room table. A friend was over for dinner once when this happened and we all just looked at each other for a fraction of an uncomfortable second. Then Friend, who had several years' more parenting experience than I did, said, "Don't worry about it. He'll be doing that himself by the time he goes on his first date."

It was funny but excellent advice. We are always growing in our lives, and just because you lack a skill at 6 or 16 or 26, It seems you get it if you need it.

But it is hard to let go and see them make mistakes. I'm with you on the laundry. I just refold it in secret.

Your camp sounds like it just may inspire a future generation of writers. As you list all the things writers do -- and then we add on life -- it's really tough to get it all done. What a great idea for a camp!

I just reviewed a memoir by a woman who wasn't allowed to go to summer camp (amongst other things) as a girl, and who decides, at age thirty, that it's not too late. Yup, she goes to camp, and she loves it.

I've never been to camp, but this creative writing camp sounds especially wonderful.

I want to go to your writing camp! I also want a copy of that book for my kids, so thanks for suggesting it.

My only summer camp experiences was family camping--talk about therapy bills.

I loved you post...and summer camp. Of course I was always ready to come home...with a million bug bites and a suitcase full of dirty clothes. My parents still laugh at my camp photos. Not one person in them...just weird shots of bathing suits drying on a pole and the rest were of the mangy dog that waited for picnic table scraps. Thanks for the memories!

I never went to camp.

Can I go now? :)

Niranjana — my kids' camp does a week-long family camp. We've never done it, but it sounds like fun. I have other friends who have gone to Camp Michigania (the University of Michigan alum family camp) for decades and they love it. Your adult summer camp memoir sounds great.

Victoria — we camped a lot as a family, as well. Mostly good memories, though.

Annie — Those are the best kind of photos. And it's the bug bites that do me in while camping. I'm allergic to mosquitoes.

wosushi — there are lots of adult camps out there, so sure, go for it. Sadly, my writing camp is for 7-11 year olds, but based on the feedback I'm getting, maybe next summer I should run a writing day camp for grown ups.

Great post. I remember (as a very young kid) listening to Allen Sherman records with this song. I loved them! I was not, however, a great camper. My parents sent me away too late - clicks had formed and it was difficult to break in.

My kids go to nerd camp and love it!

Thanks for stopping by my post today. I loved your message and anecdote on how to fix cursing! (LOL) Also loved your bedtime routine - very similar to my bedtime post! You always have good advice!

I look forward to more.

Meryl — I think you're right about cliques and camp. My kids started going when all their friends did, but it might have been hard to break in later, especially for girls. As my daughter grew and her friendships started to change, I told her to pick the camp that sounded like the most fun to her. That way she was sure to have a good time no matter who was part of her group. It seemed to work.

And, yeah, a little common sense goes a long way with bedtimes. But sometimes, a little common sense is hard to find.

Your camp sounds fabulous! I was never much of a happy camper, but we're sending the youngest (11) off for two weeks on Monday. I think he will love it. My older one is going away later this summer--him I'm not so sure...

I look forward to hearing more about your camp (almost wrote home--guess what's on my mind?).

Susan,
Great post! I love the four classes of readers, and your son's word-for-word technique. I just cannot read fast, not well anyway.

And, aren't novels like The Bird Sisters delicious? The ones you just don't want to end? For my summer reading, I'm about to start Jenna Blum's The Stormchasers. I've had it, but my husband snatched it up before me. Soon enough, it's my turn.

Delicious, yes. Funny how many "taste" words we use in describing the books we love. Get back to us on The Stormchasers. We need to know if it's tasty enough to add to our summer menu.

Great post. I fell in love with reading all over again as I read your reading history and thought about the four types of readers mentioned at the beginning of the post.

I read Rebecca Rasmussen's The Bird Sisters. It is a reader's treat, isn't it? It's a well crafted story; the words just fall off the page and into your brain! I loved the book.

Grace at Feeding My Book Addiction

Thanks, Grace. I fell in love with reading all over again while writing this and remembering all the happy hours I have spent reading. Thanks for sharing your blog, too. It looks like a great place for reading inspiration.

I believe I just went though my s-l-o-w reading in a recent blog post, so there's your answer on that.

I really love the thought, a writer does half the work, a reader completes it. I've been finding out how true that is, and it's just wonderful.

Oh, yes, I have read The Bird Sisters and given it as a gift three times. That lovely, Rebecca. Thanks for this, Susan. You're a gem.

Thanks for the recommendation, Susan! I just finally read "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" (wonderful), and am ready for my next treat. Goodness, reading is swell!

Victoria — thanks always for you comments. I can't wait to hear more about your relationship with your readers.

Anonymous — I'd not heard of The Elegance of the Hedgehog. Thanks for the recommendation.

A great list! I am hosting a Twitter book club this Thursday night with Rebecca Rasmussen, discussing The Bird Sisters. Isn't it wonderful? Please join us- 8-9 pm CST, hashtag #sitsbooks

Andrea
www.greatthoughts.com

Hi Susan,
This subject has always plagued me. I am a SLOW reader. When I try to read fast, I retain a fraction of what I've read--not to mention I don't get to savor wonderful writing. I also have How to Read Like a Writer -- next to my bed -- and I pick it up regularly to learn from Francine's examples. I try to read the paper fast - I try practicing reading in chunks, (my son, too, can read a 700 page Harry Potter book overnight!), but I realize if I read too fast, I miss too much of a well-written book. I'll check out the Bird Sisters. I hope to read a book a week this summer.

What a fun coincidence. I am reading The Bird Sisters right now! Even funnier, I was just condemning myself because I felt it was taking me too long to read it. It's like you wrote this post just for me. Thanks.

I can't wait to read more about Rebecca. She is a gifted storyteller.

Linda — I'm thinking of starting a support group. Slow Readers Unite!

Jenny — I did write it just for you. So glad you loved The Bird Sisters, too. I know Rebecca will be thrilled, too.

Hello - stopping by from the She Writes Blogger Ball, and I'm glad I did! Looks like we share some similar interests: I have sons (2), wrote recently about learning to read (but I do remember not knowing how), mentioned "Reading Like a Writer" in my last post, and also mentioned James Frey a few posts back. I also read through the Little House on the Prairie series in 3rd grade. Love your blog!

I've enjoyed reading this post, especially the quote from Coleridge. Good encouragement about taking time to read. Also, just wondering, have you read Alcott's "A Long Fatal Love Chase" and "The Inheritance"?

Hey, wait a second! I was one of those Church Street residents, and I have never, ever watched a soap opera in my life! Was this after I left?

I do agree about the reality shows. They make me wince for those poor souls who need to expose themselves that way. Someone get them therapy, instead of exploiting their pathology!

How does Molly like college, anyway?

Sorry to have exaggerated. I just remember a bunch of people bolting up the stairs and piling on to Sari's bed to watch Luke and Laura's wedding.

You still have time to add watching an episode of All My Children to your bucket list. It isn't scheduled to go off the air until September.

Molly had a great first year, Thanks. She's coming home soon.

I, too, am crushed at the loss of my "friends."
Like many people, I started watching AMC in college. For almost four decades, I could count on AMC to take me out of reality when I was bored, lonely, frustrated, or just in need of a quick fashion update.
When life got really tough and I couldn't sleep at night, I would amuse myself creating plot lines for Erica, Tad, Opal, Palmer, Monique, Nina, and Cliff.
Come on, Oprah, help us out!!

good

While I have never been one to use 3 words when 6 will do, and have often been accused of suffering from diahrrea of the keyboard, I do try to heed the minimalist philosophy of Antoine de St. Exupery: “Perfection is attained not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

Jim

Here's a vote for storytellers!

Greg — great.

Jim — clearly your affliction applies only to the written word (if at all). IRL, I've known you to be pithy and to the point.

LBG — Thanks!

Hey, Sus.

First, I'd say that if you looked "well", it means you look "healthy". Otherwise it would have to mean that you - i.e., your photographic image - would be staring back at the observer, and that's a rather eerie concept. Bottom line: inanimate objects look good; people look well (in either sense of the word).

As far as being photogenic, I don't believe that I glow in the dark (although I must admit I've never checked), so I'll have to stick with definition #1. And since I don't believe that I can be an impartial observer, I'll have to rely on others to pass judgment. When you do, please be kind (and using pictures in profile ain't fair...).

Jim

Jim — on your second point, agreed. No profile shots of either of us shall ever be printed or published online. Be it so decreed.

Back to well and good. I'm not sure I agree that well applies to people and good applies to inanimate objects. This grammar maven says the use of good or well depends on the verb — whether it is an action verb or a linking verb — and she labels "look" as a linking verb, which could call for the use of good or well.

This site explains the difference very well. Of, if you prefer, it does a good job of explaining the difference. When using a linking verb, either "well" or "good" can be correct. "Looking good refers to attractiveness; looking well refers to health."

I have a friend who says: "You look well in that _____ (scarf, color, whatever), which has always made me feel as if other outfits make me look ill. Perhaps we need more precise adjectives, as in: "You (not you personally) look hideous in stripes," or "You look lovely in purple."

Jim — to your first point, agreed. Neither of us shall ever be presented in profile in a photograph in print or online. Be it so decreed.

Back to well and good. I'm not sure I agree with you that well applies to people and good applies to inanimate objects when using the verb "look". This grammar maven claims that the choice of "well" or "good" depends on the verb in the sentence. She further explains that "look" is a linking verb, and as such can be modified by either "well" or "good".

This site explains the difference very well, or, if you prefer, does a good job of explaining the difference. It reiterates that as a linking verb, "look" can be modified correctly by either "well" or "good", but goes on to say: "Looking good refers to attractiveness; looking well refers to health."

I have a friend who says things like: "You look well in that ___________ (scarf, color, whatever)." This has always made me feel as if other outfits make me look ill, which perhaps is what she means to say. I think the answer may be to choose more precise adjectives: "You (not you personally) look hideous in horizontal stripes" or "You look particularly lovely in purple."

Well, being a photographer who hates to have her picture taken I have a unique perspective. I get my groove thing on at the mere thought of taking pictures, but I hate having mine taken, I hate how I look in them and I think pictures of me shatter the illusion that I have created in my own mind of how I should look. I am terribly distraught when that illusion clashes with reality.

If your fugly, there is usually nothing a photographer can do to make you look beautiful. If faced with such a subject I would go for the look that captures the persons character or as I call it, a picture that only a mother would love.

As an artist and photographer I not only can see the ah ha moment in my viewfinder when all of the cosmic tumblers have aligned and the subject’s body position, clothes, and face all come together to make for a great picture, but I can feel a little spark that only I can feel that tells me that’s the golden shot.

Sometimes being photogenic can also mean being able to create a mood or feeling in a photograph. I photographed a t-ball team one year and 4 year olds are not always cooperative. One little boy would not smile no matter how many funny faces I made. Later, when choosing the pictures for printing I came across that little boy’s photo and realized that his clinging desperately to his bat, chubby pouting cheeks, his head and body in the saddest sorriest slumped position was actually a masterpiece. I had created a picture that not only a mom could love, but that truly captured this child’s character and transcended the norms for cute 4 year old t-ball pictures.

Now, some people are good looking and yet just take bad pictures. We start our session with the highest hopes, but somewhere despite by best direction and positioning and encouragement, I know that this person’s beauty is not being captured in the picture. The picture is good but does not live up to the true beauty of the person. Case in point, I have a sister, who by the way, was always a size zero, has so many friends, has an enchanting personally that everyone she ever meets just gushes over, and is so incredibly gorgeous with her squared jawline and high cheek bones, but she is also so, so utterly unphotogenic. I have to admit that I take a wee little bit of pleasure in that.

We are genetically predisposed to be attracted to a certain type of face. Human perception of beauty and how that perception has driven our species to draw in mates is an interesting subject to me. There is actually a formula for people’s faces that will predict whether they will be considered beautiful and more attractive to mates.

Research has shown that when you lay one image over another, over another of those who are considered beautiful, there jawlines, cheekbones, mouth and width between their eyes all line up rather closely as to be mathematically significant. We are also attracted to those who have a unique beauty. Those who do not fit the standards humans have developed over the years to define the absolutely beautiful that walk amongst us, but yet have some sort of special quality, and you must stop and marvel over their features when you see them. My sister in laws #3 child fits that example. There is just something about that boy, who as the blogger states “can’t take a bad picture” that people are just attracted to. They love his hair and eyes. She has even mentioned that mothers look at him and can’t decide which is more intriguing the eyes or the hair.

I guess when it comes down to it, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Mom’s always think their precious bundles of joy are absolutely the cuties babies on the planet. I think there is beauty in every person but it is often defined by different standards and by love. I think that when it comes to photographs and ones photogenic ability as defined by the human race, no matter how beautiful a photographer’s subject, you either have it or you don’t. Beauty does not always mean

On days when I feel good about myself the pictures turn out great (not good or well). When I feel ugly or dorky or shy, they are not just bad, but terrible. Perhaps being photogenic is a state of mind?

Funny, entertaining as always, Susan.

I think a lot of it has to do with how one feels about one's appearance at the time the picture is taken.

That's my two cents. . . .

Sheryl — looks like I struck a nerve. You win for the longest 2KoP comment ever. Thank you. I think you're right about beautiful people. Some people are classically pretty, but truly beautiful people seem to have something unique, even exaggerated about their features.

Anon #2 — I do think photogenic is in part a state of mind. Still, it's been a long time since I've taken a "great" picture.

Anon #3 — Thank you, and I agree with your two cents.

Interesting. I tend to open my mouth a bit too fast and wish I could find an outlet like she did many of those times! LOL!

I bet you could find a few trees to scream at. Try your local forest preserve. Although, now that I think of it, here in Prairieland there is a forest preserve near Naperville that doesn't have a single tree.

Gotta get this book!
And while I understand this is not a cookbook on How to SAve Your Marriage, I do wonder how many marriages could have been saved if couples had given each other space and time like this woman did...
I admire her attitude:)
Thanks for sharing!

Nice interview. Says a lot in a small space. I like her philosophy.

Hope the marriage stays happy.

What an insightful interview!

What a great story about what it means to love unconditionally - in terms of relationships and our craft! Thanks for sharing!

I am so psyched to read Laura's book. I applaud her ability not to react immediately out of pain and rejection. Not sure I could do that but I sure admire those who can stop and think before the words fly out. Guess there are truly two kinds of people in the world... those who hear "I don't love you anymore" and punch the speaker in the face and those who hear "I don't love you anymore" and take a breath. So glad it all worked out for the family. Good news for a change.

Thank you for the opportunity to participate in this challenge. I really enjoyed it and was pleased with my entry -- even if I have continued to tweak it long after submitting it.

And I am definitely one of those poor souls who cannot scarf. My mother, on the other hand, scarfs magnificently!

My daughter also scarfs magnificently. She's been scarfing for years.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1589587976607&set=p.1589587976607&theater

Thanks for taking the time (and I'm sure it was no small amount) to organize this. I had a blast writing about 2KoP. And, I'm still trying to scarf. Maybe I can get my daughters to help me!

When it comes to scarves, I certainly have fun with them and find myself becoming a bit more confident using them of late.

Fanatic! Fan-at-ic! I don't have the time to tell you in so many words who or what I love on NPR and, in my case, WPR because I'm not going to write a blog post on your blog post, but know this, Susan Bearman, Ain't NOBODY going to take my NPR a-way. Hugs and kisses.

I'm with ya, sister.

Fanatic. Totally.
NPR is how I got my idea for my internment camp book - an interview with a musician whose band formed in one of the camps, "because they didn't have anything else to do."
I only turn it off during the pledge drives and if they are republican bashing (well, not bashing really, maybe needling is a better word).
Favorite show: Car talk!
:)
Bev

I also am a NPR fanatic. It's where I learn things as well as get the news. There are so many reporters that I follow there, but the one that stands out the most for me is Scott Simon. His recent piece on George Washington was so good. I actually went to the site to listen to it again!