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Marilu Henner, costar of the TV sitcom Taxi turned bestselling self-help author, has a strong message for doting parents: stop spoiling your children. Many of today's moms and dads confuse placating with loving, spurred by a desire to give their kids the world on a silver platter. Cowritten by Henner (mother of two boys) and her personal psychoanalyst Dr. Ruth Sharon, I Refuse to Raise a Br... More

Marilu Henner, costar of the TV sitcom Taxi turned bestselling self-help author, has a strong message for doting parents: stop spoiling your children. Many of today's moms and dads confuse placating with loving, spurred by a desire to give their kids the world on a silver platter. Cowritten by Henner (mother of two boys) and her personal psychoanalyst Dr. Ruth Sharon, I Refuse to Raise a Brat explores the long-term effects of overgratifying youngsters and offers a wealth of situational advice.

Henner and Sharon theorize that a child's ability to balance independence and cooperation directly results from the parent-child relationship; too much negotiation, too many toys, exaggerated praise, and overprotection do not help that child in the long run. Instead of learning compliance, the child will learn that everything is open to discussion; in place of gratitude, the child learns greed (either physical greed for more "stuff" or emotional greed for more of the spotlight); and instead of feeling safe, the child will learn helplessness.

The women incorporate a question/answer style throughout their book's 12 somewhat disjointed chapters. Questions such as "Our 18-month old wakes up at five every morning and then he wants to play. What do I do?" receive a practical two- to four-sentence response from Dr. Sharon (Answer: "Don't blame your baby.... If he gets nine or ten hours' sleep, he has every right to wake up at 5 a.m.") Then Marilu responds--sometimes serious, often with a humorous anecdote or one-liner, or at times with a completely unrelated comment. Perhaps not the most authoritative resource, this book will still please, inform, and strike familiar chords in parents who seek nonphysical ways to gain and keep respect. --Liane Thomas

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