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chheyden said: Well Francis,
Finally, I have consumed your story! Mary Lamb Enters The World of Maze. And a priceless one it is....On page 9 you captured my allegiance with one of the most palpable lines in children's or any other type of literature for that matter. "...However, she shuddered at the thought that this was an animal's foot, avoiding contact with it."
The story doesn't stagnate or go nowhere, in fact it moves along quite gingerly, and I love the unabashed touches of modernism when you use the words "coke" and "crack" instead of letting the reader figure out "white powder". Plus later the "rapping" menagerie serenading Mary from the center of her pond.
I also count a book "good" if it makes me chuckle a few times. MLETWM did that. I especially thought clever the chanting words needed to turn Mary and the Thesalons back into normal size and smaller later. And the name Ircle was perfect for her guide. I could say a lot more.
For now...
Keep creating,
Chaz . |