Today’s guest blogger is my dear friend, Kristi M! She is a mom, writer and fellow ASU grad. Without further ado — enjoy! As I prepare to apply for a part-time position in a field I believe benefits people and the environment, … Continue reading 
By: bookkm,
on 10/2/2009
Today I had nothing I needed to get done. And so I have stayed in my sweat pants all day. I watched tv with my husband, did some exercises, emailed friends, and read. And I felt FREE!!
I like this feeling - of no schedule, no deadlines. I could get used to it.
By 2:30 I was feeling slightly stressed because my work-self kept reminding me of all the things I SHOULD be doing. So I did something. Guilt flew away. Bye bye guilt.
It feels like full Fall today, my favorite season. I am reading The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly about an 11 -year old girl on a farm in Texas in 1898. I just started it. Her grandfather is a naturalist and encourages Calpurnia, at a time when girls still only learn to embroider, play the piano and bake. He is horrified when Calpurnia has no idea what physics is.
In the book, it is summer - Texas summer - a nice counterpoint to the chill of Fall and the shortening days.
I had half a thought that I would say something deep in this post but today I don't have to do anything - so this is it for now.
Kristi M.,
What a powerful statement: “I think the enormous pressure on women from both sides creates a never-ending cycle of guilt.” Too bad this is the case. I’m glad you stood your ground and did what was best for your family and you. Transitions are hard–no matter which side you’re on. Thanks for sharing.
Linda A.
Dear Kristi,
Remember if God is happy with you, it doesn’t matter what other people think. God will furnish your needs from sources known and sources unknown. Accept yourself in this moment as being the best you could possibly be. You are giving your children a gift of security. If you work out of the home, then you are teaching them how to get along with others and know that you’ll be back. You gift of love and caring, no matter whether you stay at home or whether you work will be passed on for generation upon generation. Rejoice and be glad and be proud of who you are and what you do. Thanks Donna for having Kristi as a guest. Kristi, thanks for being a guest on Donna’s blog. Good luck to you!
Amen, Kristi!
Jean
http://www.write2ignite.com
Kristi – We REALLY think alike so much of the time that it’s uncanny. It’s definitely not on the same scale as being out a long time for motherhood, but I know what you are saying. For me, I get the same feeling when I’m on vacation or, worse, out sick. I LIKE that I’m “the one with the answers” at work and I fear that, if I’m not there, someone else will soon step into that role. I think in both cases, the pressure is somewhat self-imposed. I know that I haven’t received any real rewards at work over the guys that clock in, do 8, and go home; but it just isn’t me to be that guy! And, the only folks that shouldn’t understand your position would be guys and women without kids. I mean, I’ve stayed home with my kids only a few times by myself and my day job is WAYYYYYY easier. So, anyone that thinks you are a slacker for not working, simply doesn’t have a clue! And, when it comes down to it, we all work our entire lives for either accolades now, or to be remembered when we are gone. I can’t think of anything that work could do for me that would top my 3 kids from having fond and positive memories of me when I’m gone. And you can even one up me on that front. You have the opportunity to be the DIRECT reason that your kids turn out to be great. Let’s face it, two roads diverged in your path and you definitly took the one less traveled. I commend you for making the sacrifice and choosing wisely!
Linda – Kristi has written a powerful message here, hasn’t she?
I second that!
Joan – thank you for all your encouragement for Kristi and for all of us!
Sean – you two do have a lot in common… and that’s a good thing! (he makes some good points here, Kristi!)
Dear Kristi, Donna, and Everyone,
You’re welcome. Do something good for you.
Joan Y. Edwards
Hi Kristi,
As an ex-nanny with a ece degree, I can understand the importance of being home and raising your children. I know that many look down on it and that there is even the feeling of laziness like you described. I believe that we all feel that as women. I know even when I do a thousand things in a day, if I ever sit to relax I feel utterly ashamed that I am.
During one of my classes (last semester at ASU), about women and crime, I learned a lot about how the world really sees women that work and those that don’t through the eyes of others in the class and in the textbook.
I wish we all could understand and respect any job that a woman does and support and be positive regardless of if it involves cleaning spit up or cleaning up after the boss.