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1 ... are definitely going to hell: Anyone who uses Google Earth to find churches with lead roofs and then steals them.

2 ... you gotta love: Wendy, the librarian at my temple. She not only bought David Levithan's Boy Meets Boy for the library, but also, when I reviewed it for her and called it a "charming gay teen love story," she said, "Good. That's why I bought it. We need more diversity." Yup, a religious institution that want kids to read all kinds of books. Awesome.

3 ... have illustrated gorgeous books: Greg Foley. We took Willoughby & the Moon out of the library today. It's full of beautiful black and white and silver artwork; some of it looks like extreme close-ups of photographs, while some of it is pen and ink. Upon finishing, Destructo announced, "That was cool. The pictures were super cool. I want to read it again."

4 ... wrote a poem that I love: Joseph Stroud, whose "Manna" was on Writers Almanac this week. Go read it, and then go stand in the snow.

5 ... I hope have a good week: you.

It's Banned Books Week!

Two years ago, I celebrated with Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them. Last year I read them Even More Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them. We've read a ton of terrible, child-harming evil, and yet, miraculously, my children's moral fiber remains frustratingly intact. So THIS year, I decided to condense the exposure AND to hit them with the biggies. I present to you:

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Are SURE to RUIN Them FOREVER

We started this weekend with these:

Heather Has Two Mommies
by Lesléa Newman, illus. Diana Souza



Daddy's Roommate
by Michael Willhoite

Nothing subtle there, eh? My kids were sure to be doomed.

We ran into trouble immediately. Destructo couldn't have cared less how many mommies Heather had. He was mainly worried that on the cover of her book, it looks like Heather is about to be EATEN BY A WOLF.*

Heather's story is very straightforward. Two is her favorite number; she has two hands, two eyes, and two mommies, both of whom she loves best. When Heather starts a playgroup, though, the kids talk about their daddies. Heather doesn't have a daddy and gets sad until the other kids in the class talk about how all their families are different and the teacher delivers a speech on love.

This is an important book, and a very lovey and reassuring book. It is not subtle though, and not particularly informative for modern kids with 21st century mindsets. BUT it becomes VERY interesting, terrifying even, if you think Heather's pet dog is a CHILD-EATING WOLF.

Punchy, but undeterred, we moved on to Daddy's Roommate. In the book, a little boy's parents are divorced and his dad has moved in with another man. The book is all about the fun the boy has with Daddy and his roommate.

First, check out that fantastic mustache! Thor had total facial hair envy.

Second, regardless of your politi

It was a good library week. Destructo was in the "too sick to go to school - too well to stay home another day" mode, so we read a TON of books and only brought home the good ones.*


1. The Uglified Ducky (book and CD)
by Willy Claflin

You must listen to this book on the CD, told "in the original Moose" language by storyteller Willy Claflin. It is absolutely hilarious. You know the story: a baby moose wanders off and finds itself a cozy spot in the nest of a mother duck. When the mother duck finds her baby moose, she assumes he is an uglified ducky. Giggling ensues, with such adventures as flying lessons and a trip to Dr. Quack, duck therapist. Credit to Destructo's teachers and The Mighty Thor for finding this one. I will be purchasing this one, and possibly "Sleeping Beastly and Other Tales."


2. Bunny Party**
by Rosemary Wells

My children ARE Max and Ruby. The first time we read one of these books, Tink couldn't stop laughing. Honestly, Destructo looks remarkably like Max, down to the pure white fur and gigantic head. And Tink can be, um, a bit Ruby-esque in her bossiness. So we love these books. In this one, Ruby is throwing a birthday party for their grandma, but she's only invited her own stuffed friends, not Max's Jellyball Shooting Spider, etc. Max, of course, finds a way to make space for the spider et al, and it is much fun. Also, there is good counting/math in here.


3. Yoko
by Rosemary Wells

Yoko brings her favorite sushi to lunch and the other kids tease her. When she cries to Mrs. Jenkins, Mrs. Jenkins tells her the other kids will forget about it soon. How is this supposed to make Yoko feel better? I don't know. Of course, they tease her again when she has red bean ice cream. So Mrs. Jenkins throws an "international lunch" where everyone brings something and everyone is supposed to "try everything." But nobody tries Yoko's sushi. Why? I don't know. Why doesn't Mrs. Jenkins MAKE them try it, after she stressed that everyone would need to try everything? I don't know. While Yoko's sad about it, Tommy comes along, still hungry, and tries a crab roll. Yoko teaches him to use chopsticks. Where is Mrs. Jenkins while one kid cries and the kid maws leftovers? I don't know. Tommy loves the crab roll, he and Yoko push their desks together and are BFF. Why do writers persist in writing about making friends like it's a piece of (rice) cake? I DON'T KNOW.

TeacherFAIL aside, this is a cute book that my kids enjoyed. It's a nice platform to talk about making fun of other

This week's library haul was huge in number, range, and impact. Here are some highlights.

So far, this Jacqui Reads Her Children & Herself Books By & About People Different From Her (explanation here) idea is one of the best I've had.


I'd Really Like to Eat a Child
by Sylviane Donnio, illus. Dorothee deMonfried

How can you not love a book with that title? And yes, it is about an alligator who wants to eat a kid. But he's too little, so when he tries, the tasty morsel he's chosen calls him cute and then tosses him in a lake. I wish I could find (and pirate) the interior art of that page, because it's hilarious. We had several good laughs with this one, which has the bonus of adding the phrase "I'd really like to eat a child" to your child-chasing-pretending-to-nibble game.

The next two books are more appropriate for elementary kids, not preschoolers.

Pitching in for Eubie
by Jerdine Nolen, illus. E.B. Lewis

Have you read Plantzilla? What about Harvey Potter's Balloon Farm? Did you know they were written by the same person and that in addition to hilarity, she writes lovely realistic picture books like this one?

Well, I didn't, and now I'm a little in awe of Jerdine Nolan. I picked this book up because we were so in love with E.B. Lewis's illustrations in My Best Friend (and his ten million other books). In it, a little sister tries to figure out what she can do to pitch in when the whole family works to pay for her older sister's college tuition. Tink liked it, and the artwork is as fabulous as anticipated. Also, it drove us back to Plantzilla, prompting the announcement "I like her funny books better." Which I can understand.


Henry's Freedom Box
by