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For over thirty years my primary specialty has been the prevention of secondary stress (the pressures experienced in reaching out to others.) During these three decades, I have experienced periods during which the situation has become more difficult for those in the healing and helping professions. For the past several years up to the present, I believe this has become the case again—with an even greater, far ranging initial negative impact, not only for professionals, but also for those whom they serve.

In some cases, the impact I have noted is quite dramatic. When getting ready to speak to military chaplains in Germany, many of whom returned recently from Iraq and Afghanistan, a colonel walked up to me and said: “Before you give your presentation on resilience, I want to give you a caution.” “What is it?” I asked. “There are a lot of ghosts in this room,” he said. “What do you mean by that?” I responded. After a pause, he said, “There’s nothing left inside them.”

Such cases are often termed “acute secondary stress.” This occurs when helpers and healers encounter trauma in others in such a dramatic way that their own sense of well-being is psychologically contaminated. As a result, they too can begin demonstrating the symptoms and signs of post-traumatic stress. Their dreams can be disturbed, their sense of security disrupted, and their overall outlook on the world dimmed.

However, during these times, I have found that a possibly even more disturbing pattern is one termed “chronic secondary stress,” or what has long been called “burnout.” Although this sounds less dangerous, and is certainly not as dramatic as its acute counterpart, I find it to be more worrisome because it is so insidious. Marshall McCluhan, a Canadian philosopher of communications, once said, “If the temperature of the bath rises one degree every ten minutes, how will the bather know when to scream?” In today’s society, I don’t believe we know when to scream or, in the parlance of what I would term “compassion erosion,” know the signs of when it is essential to strengthen or own a self-care program so we can continue to have the broad shoulders to bear others’ burdens as well as our own.

This is not only an American problem, it’s a worldwide one. After presenting a lecture on maintaining a healthy perspective to an audience in Johannesburg, South Africa, a social worker said that she had had enough and was going to leave the profession. When I asked her why, she said that she worked with women who were single parents, had been sexually abused, and were living on the edge of poverty. When she would go to court with them because of the rape they had experienced, they would need to take a day off from work; something they could ill afford. Yet, often the judge would just look at them and say, “Oh, I haven’t had time to look at the material. Schedule another time to come back.” She was clearly despondent and felt she wasn’t making an impact, despite her efforts to help the women that she served.

Even when the individual is initially optimistic and energetic, staying the course can still be problematic. A professional caregiver for the Veteran’s Administration enthusiastically greeted one of the returning Vets when he came in for his initial appointment. He responded by saying, “Boy, you are full of great energy.” To which she smiled and replied, “You have served our Country well. Now, come on in and let us know what we can do for you.” Yet, in the past months she has had to deal with the unpleasant reports that seem to tar the whole VA. Few reports include reference to those workers who are doing good work and truly respect the deserving clients they serve.

The problem goes beyond these events of course. Everyone, not simply helping and healing professionals, are being bombarded with negative and, in some cases, tragic events either directly or indirectly: news of the horrible outcomes of wars in the Middle East, physicians being sued not for malpractice but mispractice (even though no one can be perfect 100% of the time), financial stress due to the unavailability of good paying positions, educators being hounded rather than supported by parents when their children are corrected or not given the grade they expect, clergy being treated with disdain even though they have done nothing inappropriate themselves, nurses being unappreciated for their role as representing the heart of health care… The list is endless and causes both a drain on one’s personal quality of life and an increase in compassion erosion (a decrease in the ability to reach out to others in need on a continued, natural basis).

So what is to be done? Well, to start, several essential steps must be taken by all of us—not just those among us who are in the helping and healing professions. One of these actions is to reframe any efforts at helping others in our circle of friends, family, and those whom we serve so that we focus on faithfulness (which is in our control) instead of success (which never totally is). In the case of the South African social worker, I emphasized to her that she was the only one present to the poor abused women whom she served and this, in and of itself, was of crucial importance and was definitely a positive support.

In addition to appreciating the power of presence, spending time on self-care is also important because one of the greatest gifts we can share with others is a sense of our own peace and a healthy perspective – but we can’t share what we don’t have. In a restaurant, workers are mandated to wash their hands after they go to the lavatory so they don’t contaminate the food of those they serve. In the hospital, the workers must also wash their hands before as well as after they use the bathroom to decrease the occurrence of cross contamination. The same is necessary psychologically for those of us who serve others—even if it is simply our families or co-workers. We must take the necessary steps to be resilient so when encountering negativity, we are not psychologically infected by their problems. Of what good can we be when this happens?

Finally, recognizing the importance of alone time (time spent in silence and solitude or simply being reflective and mindful when in a group) is essential. When I was up on Capitol Hill speaking to some Members of Congress and their Chiefs of Staff on the topic of resilience, I took away an important quote by a former Senator. When asked what he felt was one of the greatest dangers facing the Congress today he replied, “Not enough time to think.” We need some quiet time to be mindful or we will not make it.

We are all in a tough spot now as compassion erosion seems to be spiking for the present. Many of us feel even more than ever before that life is not good and we have little to share with others. However, taking a page from the posttraumatic growth (PTG) literature is essential: namely, some persons who experience severe stress or trauma have the possibility to experience even greater personal insight and depth in their lives that would not have been possible had the terrible events not happened in the first place. So, chronic and acute stress need not be the last word. They may even set the stage for a life of greater, not less, compassion and an appreciation of what and who is truly important to us. However, for this to happen, we need to recognize the danger and do something about it now.

The post A spike in “compassion erosion” appeared first on OUPblog.

        

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Dr. Robert J. Wicks, author of Bounce:Living the Resilient Life, is also a professor at Loyola College in Maryland. In Bounce, Wicks suggests that simply becoming more self-aware can help us decrease stress and live life more fully. Below, OUP interviews Dr. Wicks about the importance of learning to live with resilience.  Read Wicks’s previous OUPblog post here.

OUP: Resilience seems so important to how you live your life but is it really that essential?

Dr. Robert J. Wicks: Physician and author Walker Percy in one of his novels poses the question: “What if you missed your life like a person misses a train?” Unfortunately, in today’s stressful world with multi-tasking being the norm of the day, this is easy to do—especially for those who fail to pay attention to the forces which strengthen our inner life and help us grow through and from the difficult experiences all of us encounter.

OUP: But can resilience be learned? Some people seem born resilient and others seem to have difficulties dealing with adversity almost from the time they are born.

Dr. Robert J. Wicks: You have a point. Some people do seem more resilient all the way from childhood. However, that is not the crucial issue for leading a fuller life. Each of us has a range of resilience—in other words, the ability to meet, learn from, and not be crushed by the challenges and stresses of life. This range is formed by heredity, early life experiences, current knowledge, and the level of motivation to meet life’s challenges and enjoy each day to the fullest—no matter what happens! However, of even more import than the different ranges people have is their conscious decision to maximize the ways in which they can become as resilient as possible.

OUP: Is part of this resiliency-training, learning ways to avoid stress?

Dr. Robert J. Wicks: Yes and no. Living a full life is more than the absence of negative occurrences or pressures. The sources of all stress cannot—and probably should not—be prevented. Yet, there are ways stress can be limited and, more importantly, as those who study resilience report, the way stress impacts us does not have to be totally negative. As a matter of fact, each of us has an opportunity to become deeper and more compassionate in response to the stressors in our lives if we are aware of some basic practices to: contain and understand stress; seek to be more mindful; are reasonably self-aware; and are interested in learning how to maintain a healthy sense of resilience and perspective.

OUP: How did you get so interested in the concept of “resilience”?

Dr. Robert J. Wicks: For almost 30 years I have dealt with a unique kind of darkness called “secondary stress”—the pressures experienced by persons who are in the healing and helping professions. In observing and working with physicians, nurses, psychologists, educators, relief workers, counselors, and persons in full time ministry, I have observed that especially among the most resilient in these groups, how they experience even the most difficult encounters in life is quite telling.

OUP: In a nutshell, what would be some of the more essential ways to maximize your “resiliency range?”

Dr. Robert J. Wicks: Improving your own self-awareness through using a daily de-briefing program, developing a realistic but comprehensive self-care program, understanding better the practice of “mindfulness”, applying the recent findings on positive psychology, and ensuring that 4 types of friends are present in your interpersonal network would all contribute to strengthening your personal and professional resiliency.

OUP: That last point about needing “4 types of friends” intrigues me. What types of friends are you referring to with respect to becoming more resilient?

Dr. Robert J. Wicks: We all know we need friends. Psychology has also long emphasized the need for an excellent interpersonal network. I think anthropologist Margaret Meade expressed well what everyone knows in their heart when she said, “One of the greatest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night.” However, who makes up your “personal community” is also an essential element. In my work I have found that for our interpersonal circle to be rich we need, at the very least, four “types” or “voices” present—since one friend may play more than one beneficial role at different points in our lives. These four types of friends include “the prophet” who asks us “What conscious and unconscious voices are guiding us in life?” They also include “the cheerleader” who is sympathetic and supportive, “the harasser” who teases us and helps us laugh at ourselves to avoid the emotional burnout that results from taking ourselves too seriously, and finally the inspirational guides who encourage us to gather all of the information we receive from others so we can put this feedback to good use.

OUP: You also mentioned that resilience can be enhanced by developing a daily debriefing program and a comprehensive approach to self care. Would you give us a very quick sense of what is involved in doing this?

Dr. Robert J. Wicks: In terms of a daily debriefing, I wanted persons to be able to use a similar approach to the one professional helpers use since it has such a long proven track record in allowing them to process their day’s interactions, let go of the daily emotional “hot spots” so these events don’t keep them up at night, and learn from the day’s encounters so this knowledge can deepen them as persons and professionals. If we take out time to become intrigued by our own behavior, thoughts, and feelings, we can avoid wasting energy on projecting all the blame on others, condemning ourselves or becoming discouraged when things don’t change in our lives immediately.

With respect to self-care, each of us needs to have a program or “protocol” that is both comprehensive and doable.

OUP: A final question I have for you is with respect to “mindfulness”. What exactly do you mean by this term and why is it so important with respect to resilience?

Dr. Robert J. Wicks: I remember once seeing by a garden a little sign that was covered with mud. When I scraped the mud away, I saw that it said, “There is always music in the garden amongst the trees…but your heart must be quiet to hear it.”

Psychology, philosophy, and many of the world spiritualities extol the benefits of time spent in silence and solitude. In addition, it is beneficial to have a sense of mindfulness—being in the present moment with a sense of openness—as we move through the day’s interpersonal encounters. Formal mindfulness or meditation can sharpen our sense of clarity about the life we are living and the choices we are making, enhance our attitude of simplicity, let us enjoy our relationship with ourselves more and, as I note further in Bounce, provide numerous other benefits.

The really good thing about mindfulness is that it can be learned. It just takes reflection on some basic guidelines and a willingness to try some simple steps for a few minutes each day. The results can be truly remarkable in how centered and aware we can become. It is really a cornerstone of resilience.

Q: Would you sum up for us the lessons you are hoping people learn from Bounce?

A: The range of resilience is different for each person based on a unique combination of hereditary, psychological and sociological factors. However, if we are truly interested in resilience, the goal is to find ways to maximize our own range of resilience, and in doing so, improve our quality of life and the ability to continually renew ourselves. In studying resilience and putting into practice some basic lessons, we can begin to recognize—as resilient helping professionals have—that it is not the amount of darkness in the world that matters. It is not even the amount of darkness in ourselves that matters. It is how we stand in that darkness that makes all the difference in how we are able to lead our lives.