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It’s summer vacation time for BT and his mom. They are going to visit BT’s grandmother, Abuela in Spanish, at her farm in Peru and this time Jack, BT’s guinea pig, gets to go with them.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Arian cats will be unusually quiet this month when restricted from going outside or facing any household changes. This is not a good sign. Chances are they are carefully waiting for the most opportune moment to poop outside the litterbox.

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) – Your Taurian Jack-Russell terrier might share a star sign with George Clooney and Carmen Elektra, but he or she will seem far less attractive when becoming possessive of your belongings, especially those one of a kind, hand-stitched leather boots from crazy Aunt Mary.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – It might be difficult to discern, but your Gemini pet snakes are feeling uncomfortable. Expect to clean the tank more frequently than usual and make sure you protect your sinuses from the smell.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Those Cancer born rabbits are going to be hopping this month. If they seem agitated to you, don’t worry about their health – it’s just bunny love in the air, although a colleague of mine swears its really because they are plotting a revolution.

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) – Your Leo parrot gazes out of the window and dreams of blue skies and may be resentful of captivity, especially when it sees what you are doing to that poor, dead turkey when Thanksgiving arrives. If he or she is a bit cranky, don’t worry, eventually your bird will stop swearing at you and be grateful for all the treats you’ve been sneaking into its beak.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) – Virgo born horses may be suspicious of new riders this month ever since that kid you let ride him last month accidentally got chewing gum in your mare or stallion’s mane and ruined the hair-do.

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) – You thought the whole point of having a Libra pet travel-agent was to get out to see the world, but he or she isn’t migrating and just won’t leave the house.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) – Hedgehogs born under the influence of Scorpio will be uncharacteristically soft and giving this month. Don’t let him or her loose by accident, or soft and giving could mean he or she is road kill.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) – If your Sagittarian hamster seems bored, its because he or she is sick of running around in that wheel but can’t find anything better to do. Find him or her a cardboard box to chew on or something.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) – That Capricorn gerbil has got serious ambitions, he or she is entertaining dreams of being the first rodent to break the sound barrier for speed.

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) – If your Aquarian born monkey is being too Zen for comfort this month, you are right to be concerned. That college kid who lives down the street and is home for Thanksgiving and house sat for you that one time slipped him a “special” brownie. Look at the bright side, at least he won’t get riled enough to fling poo.

Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20) Your Piscean guinea pig is feeling drawn to exotic things and new experiences. When you take him out to clean the cage, make sure he is somewhere he can’t get out of the house, or he may run off to Venezuela to try and mate with a capybara.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) – Arian cats will be unusually quiet this month when restricted from going outside or facing any household changes. This is not a good sign. Chances are they are carefully waiting for the most opportune moment to poop outside the litterbox.

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) – Your Taurian Jack-Russell terrier might share a star sign with George Clooney and Carmen Elektra, but he or she will seem far less attractive when becoming possessive of your belongings, especially those one of a kind, hand-stitched leather boots from crazy Aunt Mary.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) – It might be difficult to discern, but your Gemini pet snakes are feeling uncomfortable. Expect to clean the tank more frequently than usual and make sure you protect your sinuses from the smell.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) – Those Cancer born rabbits are going to be hopping this month. If they seem agitated to you, don’t worry about their health – it’s just bunny love in the air, although a colleague of mine swears its really because they are plotting a revolution.

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) – Your Leo parrot gazes out of the window and dreams of blue skies and may be resentful of captivity, especially when it sees what you are doing to that poor, dead turkey when Thanksgiving arrives. If he or she is a bit cranky, don’t worry, eventually your bird will stop swearing at you and be grateful for all the treats you’ve been sneaking into its beak.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) – Virgo born horses may be suspicious of new riders this month ever since that kid you let ride him last month accidentally got chewing gum in your mare or stallion’s mane and ruined the hair-do.

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) – You thought the whole point of having a Libra pet travel-agent was to get out to see the world, but he or she isn’t migrating and just won’t leave the house.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) – Hedgehogs born under the influence of Scorpio will be uncharacteristically soft and giving this month. Don’t let him or her loose by accident, or soft and giving could mean he or she is road kill.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) – If your Sagittarian hamster seems bored, its because he or she is sick of running around in that wheel but can’t find anything better to do. Find him or her a cardboard box to chew on or something.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) – That Capricorn gerbil has got serious ambitions, he or she is entertaining dreams of being the first rodent to break the sound barrier for speed.

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) – If your Aquarian born monkey is being too Zen for comfort this month, you are right to be concerned. That college kid who lives down the street and is home for Thanksgiving and house sat for you that one time slipped him a “special” brownie. Look at the bright side, at least he won’t get riled enough to fling poo.

Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20) Your Piscean guinea pig is feeling drawn to exotic things and new experiences. When you take him out to clean the cage, make sure he is somewhere he can’t get out of the house, or he may run off to Venezuela to try and mate with a capybara.