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The Gleaning

Soon the pickers will come; their baskets covered and darkly empty. Who will survive this season’s harvest? How many can we get to safety in the caverns below? And how many will survive the terror of remaining below until the sky homes are again safe?

Our new leader perches, grasping his branch of authority so tightly his talons have sunken into the bark, almost heartwood deep. Families gather to hear his plans for leaving our sky homes for burrowed havens during this time of The Gleaning. Not even sky’s soft breath disturbs the silence holding our attention.

“This night will see us gone from these homes. Each parent pair holds responsibility for their young ones.”

Fledglings tuck up against parents’ sides, beneath sheltering wing power. Feet shuffle and scrape bark with restless talons. The scouts must have reported the pickers on their way to the forest.

Leader spreads wings to call order and flips them again to his back.

“Our fasting will begin at full dawn. The hardship of the season is upon us. Feed well before entering the burrows. It will be the last for a foot of moon rises.”

The sound of his last instruction faded. Leader departed to get his own charges on the ground and fed before dawn. Each small group moves forward to launch.

Fledglings balk, hesitating. They are shoved off for their first flight. For them the dark unknown rushes to meet them, not caring that this is new and frightening for these small feathered bodies. Moss hummocks and short leaf blades cushion their landings and bounces. One parent accompanies each new flyer and examines for injuries at the landing spot.

As soon as able-bodied fledglings are grounded, parents roam the sky homes looking for stragglers. Here and there weak calls come from homes, where those too weak or ill have been left behind. Their sacrifice will ensure that the fit will survive The Gleaning.

As the sun begins to streak the forest with its rays, the people begin to stuff last meals down their gullets. Many will be too weak and malnourished to hunt after The Gleaning. Designated caretakers go through the crowds before each burrow, marking the ones to watch for when the safety call comes from the watch patrol.

Thank the Great Winged One, the watch patrol will be gathering larger meals for that unearthing time. Calls from overhead alert those who need to hide. Young ones are pushed into burrow entrances, followed closely by adults. In moments only the patrol remains; covering entrances with harvested mosses t

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After some back and forth, I finally dececided on the illustration I wanted to use as my new promo postcard. I finished this piece in the wee hours of Monday morning. I was kind of surprised I sat here Sunday night and worked on this. I rarely paint on Sunday […]

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There is a little backstory to this one. About 5 1/2 years ago I worked 9 to 5 in an office. My job included a lot of time on HOLD with providers, and while I was on hold I would begin a doodle of sorts. Some of these were large and created on my deskpad and took several weeks to become anything, but this is one that finally got colored in little by little with my pen and highlight markers that I used at work.

As the weeks passed each of the doodles I drew became more complex until they became a finished picture. I used them as calendar art and I think I did one almost every month. I saved a lot of these and they may show up now and then...either in their original form or something more refined.

Several years later after moving north to NH I unpacked the drawings and doodles from those "HOLD" times and this is one that I recreated as a painting in Painter IX.

The border of colored eggs at the top is an image hose I created of delft china eggs.

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by Darcy Pattison

One question that often arises is, “Can you revise for voice?”

Yes.



First Revision of 19 Girls and Me


For example, in an early draft of Nineteen Girls and Me, I revised for an editor and sent him a version that started like this:


When John Hercules Po started kindergarten in Room 9B, it was an odd class. There were nineteen girls and one boy, John Hercules.
"You'll be a sissy," said John's big brother. He was in second grade and he was not a sissy.
"No, I won't," said John Hercules. "I'll turn those girls into tomboys."
On Monday, when the kindergarten went out for recess, a ladder was lying beside the wall. John Hercules called to the nineteen girls, "Let's climb that mountain."
Nineteen girls and one boy climbed Mount Everest and played with the Abominable Snowman until Mrs. Ray called them in to warm up with chicken noodle soup for lunch.
I thought I did a good job!



Editor’s Reaction


The editor at wrote back:

“You clearly took my suggestion to heart, and have a stronger manuscript as a result. My sense is you're not all the way there yet, though. When I read this story, my gut is searching for a snap! of energy, to play alongside the soaring imagination of the children. Instead, the narrative voice feels bland, and so the energy level of the story remains somewhat grounded. You have a fun concept with true potential; now you just need to inject your narrative voice with some of that spirit in order to reach that potential.
What I'd like to suggest is that you turn yourself loose (as you did when thinking of a new title); really inject some personality into the piece. It's always better to reign energy back in than it is to come up short."



Second Revision
Oh, great! This editor is known for “buying voice” and he’s saying, “the narrative voice feels bland.” I was in big trouble!


But, I had been studying voice–all the things I’ve discussed on Voice Fridays–and I was ready to give it a try. A year earlier, I would have been in despair, not having a clue of where to begin. Now, I had some ways to start, things to look at, strategies to try.

First, I thought that I would look at stress. In talking about words, I mentioned that the ends of sentences are positions of stress, especially if the word is a single syllable word ending in a hard consonant.

In this sentence, what is the most important word? (Try to answer it before reading on!)

“When John Hercules Po started kindergarten in Room 9B, it was an odd class.”

I thought that ODD was the most important word; it’s also a single syllable word, ending in a hard consonant. I moved it to the end of the first sentence and started the revision from there.

Here’s part of the revision:
The kindergarten class in 9B was odd.
“Nineteen girls,” said John Hercules Po. “And me.”
John’s big brother shook his head. “What a shame! A sissy for a brother.”
“Not me!” John Hercules said. “I”ll turn those girls into tomboys.”
At noon on Monday, the kindergarten went out.
John Hercules saw a long ladder near the wall. “Let’s climb Mt. Everest!”
Nineteen girls and one lone boy, they climbed and climbed.
They climbed so high, they reached theYeti’s peak.
“Stay!” the Yeti cried. “Today, we play!”
Nineteen girls and one lone boy, they played beneath the Yeti’s peak until–
“Lunch,” called Mrs. Ray.
Nineteen girls and one lone boy warmed their hands with soup du jour.

Same story, different voice; Philomel Books bought this version.

I call this type of revision a Quantum Leap Revision, because I’m not just looking at punctuation or grammar, but at the way I tell the story. This isn’t a Pretend Revision, but a leap in how the story is told.

Once you know the story you want to tell, then you want revisions that focus on HOW you tell the story. That is voice. Revising has two goals: what is the story I want to tell; what is the best way to tell that story. Yes, they are intertwined and affect each other. But you can revise for voice. Consciously. Successfully.

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by Darcy Pattison

I just received copies of 19 Girls and Me (Philomel) in Arabic from an Egyptian publisher. I'm now published in eight languages. Or, I will be when the German version of this book arrives sometime later this year.




And here's the cover in Chinese from a Taiwanese company!

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by Darcy Pattison

Why am I posting this image of an award which The Journey of Oliver K. Woodman won in 2003?

I got home today and found a box from my publisher. Inside was this nicely framed certificate from the Bank Street College folks naming my book as "An Irma S. & James H. Black Honor Book for 2003".

There was a note:

"This was found in an empty office--strange!--but we thought you may like to have it."

Better late than never, I suppose.

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by Darcy Pattison

As we look for creative ways to publicize our books, I think that Bookcrossing.com is a great match for my picturebooks about Oliver K. Woodman, a traveling wooden man. Here's what I'm doing this week.

Where’s Oliver?

Arkansas children’s book author, Darcy Pattison has lots to celebrate. Her picture book, Searching for Oliver K. Woodman has been named to the 2007-8 Arkansas Diamond reading list, an award voted on by the children in the state. Her previous book about the traveling wooden man, The Journey of Oliver K. Woodman, was on the 2005-6 Arkansas Diamond reading list.

These stories are about a wooden man, Oliver K. Woodman, who travels across the United States to connect his family. To celebrate the books inclusion on the Arkansas Diamond award lists, Darcy Pattison will participate in BookCrossing’s program by “releasing” a dozen books “into the wild” and tracking their journey online at Bookcrossing.com, The World’s Largest Free Book Club.

Oliver K. Woodman books will be released into the wild!

Release dates and places:

Camden, Arkansas, April 17, 2007
BCID (Bookcrossing ID #): 146-5024122
BCID: 691-5024131

AAIM conference, Hot Springs Convention Center, April 24, 2007
BCID numbers: TBA (You can also search by title)

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