First of all, have you watched this yet? If not, do. Then we’ll talk:
Now here’s what I have to add to the topic of weight and body image and all that:
When I was quite a bit heavier than I am now, I went through Weight Watchers. And I’ll never forget what the instructor told us at one of the meetings: “Underwear isn’t supposed to hurt.” Changed my life, that statement. But maybe not for reasons the instructor would have expected.
She was trying to inspire us to reach our goal weights, and that was fine, as far as it went. But what it really said–to me, at least–was that we might not even realize we’re being mean to ourselves by wearing clothes that don’t fit us well. Maybe we’re so caught up in the idea of “these are the pants I’ll wear when I get down to X pounds,” we forget that we’re allowed to feel comfortable NOW, even before or while we work on losing weight.
Maybe some of you are like me, and you’re very good at being stern with yourselves. Being the drill sergeant, the disciplinarian, the one who makes up all the rules and then tries to come up with proper consequences when you violate them. So if you eat this cupcake, you’d better work out twice as hard tomorrow. Or my favorite at one time, the “bland days” that would follow a few days of unbridled eating. Then it was nothing but rice and vegetables or dry toast for me. Fun, huh? Really enjoying my life.
But I don’t do any of that anymore. Because I realized there’s no one making me be mean to myself but me. I’m a full-grown adult now, and I’m allowed to treat myself the way I would treat someone I love. I can’t imagine saying to my niece or to my best friend, “You ate half a bag of tortilla chips and a whole container of salsa this afternoon? Bad! You’re horrible! You’d better eat nothing but salads for the next five days!” Instead I’m sure I’d laugh it off, tell them I’ve done the same and more in times of stress (you have no idea how many cookies I sometimes need to get myself through the writing of some chapter that’s giving me fits), and then we’d go on talking about something far more important than whether her pants would be too tight tomorrow. Yes, they probably will. So what? Life goes on.
What I always found destructive in those times of self-criticism was the attitude of, “Oh, well, I’ve ruined it already. Might as well just keep eating everything in the world.” Uh, no. Might as well go do something sweet for myself instead, like take a hot bath or read a great book or pop in some rom-com DVD. Any of those take the place of chips or cookies–pure indulgence, meant only for me. Which means I’m also not allowed to criticize myself for goofing off. That’s right, I’m doing this right now. Because I’m allowed to be nice to myself.
I mentioned last week that I’m currently on a green smoothie kick, but let me be clear: It’s not a punishment of some kind. I’m doing it because I finally experienced what a proper green smoothie tastes like, I enjoyed it, I liked how it felt in my body, and so as a kindness to myself I’m going to drink some more. But if at any point I decide I don’t like the taste anymore or I don’t like that full feeling from having gobs and gobs of fruits and nuts and vegetables in what seems like a simple chocolate milkshake (by the way, I’ve been working on that recipe and have made it even better), then that’s it. No more. I’ll only do it if it feels nice.
That’s one of the pleasures of being an adult. A pleasure I wish I had learned back when I was a chubby teenager wearing clothing that hurt me every day, thinking it would motivate me to be skinnier. It didn’t. It just made me feel bad.
So I hope next time you pull on a pair of underwear with a waistband that cuts into your skin, you stop yourself and think, “Underwear isn’t supposed to hurt.” And that you take the next step by going to Target or wherever and buying yourself a package of underwear one size up. Or two sizes up, if you need to. Because that one simple thing might mean the difference between you feeling happy and comfortable in your body today, and you feeling miserable and guilty and unworthy. Such a simple fix. And believe me, you deserve it.
And the next time you go crazy eating something you’re sure you’re not supposed to eat, shrug it off. Do better tomorrow. Or do better starting a minute from now–the right path is always there waiting for you, whenever you feel like stepping back onto it. No worries, no punishment, no “bland days” or drill sergeant. The time to be sweet to yourself starts now.
It’s the kind of thing you can get used to.
My favorite is the Fat flush diet. It has 3 phases, it's big on organic and stuff. The weight really melts off if you can stick to it. I like this plan the best, because it's the healthiest plan that I've seen and I feel the best when I do it. It's not just a weight loss plan, but it's also meant to cleans and detox your liver.
I think the most real-life friendly diet is the Body for life diet. It's about real foods and teaches how to eat carbs in moderation rather than cutting them out. It also allows you one "off day" during the week" which is always fun.
Good luck! have fun getting healthy! and congrats on your weight loss!
How funny, Marley! My hubby and I bought each other an elliptical machine too! We really love it. It gives such a good workout. I'm just trying to give up pop (My addiction) and eat better. I'm planning on talking about some motivators on Friday too! ;)
You might want to take a look at your ayurvedic dosha. This is an entire way of eating/living that has Hindu/Indian origins. I learned about it through my yoga practice. It's kind of like your blood type diet, only it takes into account more than that. It's generally vegetarian, though I do eat meat occasionally. I have had tremendous success changing the types of foods I eat, rather than trying a particular diet. I increased whole grains (lentils, barley, quinoa, rice) and vegetables and real fruit (not fruit drinks like Naked Juice or smoothies) and basically cut out food that isn't "real". It's the shop-around-the-edges of the grocery store idea. Buy only fresh food that was once alive in some way. I do have a cheeseburger every now and then, but my body has readjusted to a more healthful way of eating and I no longer want the foods I used to eat daily. Nobody can eat perfectly all the time. Since so much of eating is based on desire rather than actual hunger, we'll eat what we think we want, which is often some sort of refined sugar or white flour product. Underneath, is the body's real craving for grains, nuts, vegetables, and animal protein. The whole grains & veggies also are a detox & cleanse.
Whatever you do, be healthy & enjoy your life each moment! :-)
I lost 25 lbs last year, as some of you know, and I did it by increased exercise and decreased eating.
But the struggle now is keeping it off...
Marley, I am so feeling it with you! I've now begun my annual carb-fast (after my annual Christmas candy binge!). :D
For getting a fresh start with your diet, deprogramming the crap out of your system and dropping some incentive pounds fast, you can't beat the Master Cleanse. Honestly, I feel so good! I've had tons of energy and have been getting some great workouts in.
After I break this fast, I'll be incorporating a lot of raw food into my diet - another easy way to shed some excess weight.