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Dear Lucas,

I awoke around 8:45am and your other mother was just returning from a walk with her sweet dog. The two of them sauntered up the stairs, stopping every few steps to trade smiles and tail wags.  There was a package in tow. The mail had arrived early for Saturday.

I rolled over in bed and perched myself on one elbow. I placed a pair of eyeglasses on my nose and accepted the slim box. It was addressed to “The Tiny Redhead’s Parents” with no return label. I peeled back the brown paper and inside were a letter and photo. I began reading.

        My Daughter,

        I feel so canned these days.

I stopped reading and moved my eyes quickly to the signature.

        I love you,

        Your Momma

Back to the top, I observed the date: 2005.

I looked at the photo. It was an 8” by 10” color print of your other mother, me and your grandmother. We were at the beach. We were standing apart, each of us filling a separate corner of the frame.

I looked back at the words, but I failed to achieve focus. Somehow Mum has written a coherent letter eight years ago and then crafted a way to delay delivery until nine months after her death.

A river of tears came up from the center of my heart.

I awoke again. It was 8:45am and your other mother was just returning from a walk with her sweet dog. The two of them sauntered up the stairs, stopping every few steps to trade smiles and tail wags. The bedroom door cracked open and they peeked in to say good morning. There was no package in tow.

“I had such a vivid dream just now,” I said. The river of tears quickly changed places from my heart to my eyes to my cheeks to my pillow case. I could only compose short, incomplete sentences. Certain grief tilted my voice toward a higher octave.

“Maybe this is just your mom’s way of saying she’s got her eye on you,” she gently replied. I nodded and closed my eyes. I longed to be asleep. I longer to see my letter again.

Instead I wrapped myself into your other mother’s arms and pressed my face against her neck. I stayed awake. And I dreamt of you.