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Inner Preditor: That colossal ass residing in your brain who waits to ambush your next idea.
Critique Poup: What your manuscript looks like the day after those so helpful bi-weekly get togethers.
Bitterary Agent: Your literary agent who does not phone you frequently to gush about your genius.
Rehersal of Fortune: Secretly writing your Caldecott acceptance speech. Boy Scouts say to be prepared.
Immaterial Hurl: Your reaction to a review which failed to divine any meaning in your book whatsoever.
Substance Abuse: A review trying to hammer too much meaning into your book.
Slogma: Having to sit through a passionate speech by a writer with a large list of should’s and shouldn’ts about the craft.
Down the Brainpipe: A phrase to describe the complete waste of time, brainpower, energy and self-confidence from doggedly pursuing a failed idea, despite suspecting from the start that it was probably crap.
Poltergist: A potentially brilliant but evanescent main idea for a story that visits you at 3 in the morning and disappears at daybreak, although the whole perfect thing was all there in your head and kept you awake for more than 2 hours.
Netscaping: Incessant prowling the internet to check emails and Facebook rather than working on your book.
Blandishment: Glaringly unecstatic response from your spouse upon reading your new manuscript.
Returnal Void: No ideas today either.
Here is another installment of corrupted words or phrases that I've invented to help describe the creative journey.
Dolcrumbs: Cookie and potato chip bits wedged in your keyboard from a particularly nasty period of time with no fresh ideas.
Stalking The Plank: Hovering the internet searching for the first reviews of your new book.
I LOVE the Fauxtionary. Ha!