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Today’s post was first published in Mamalode on October 8th and promoted on Twitter by Brain,Child Magazine. It was an interesting – and somewhat controversial - topic that I asked Jennifer if I could feature it here. We’d both welcome your feedback.
Dear Bubbe,
I never intended to do it; really. One second it was a quivering icon, the next it was gone. Just. Like. Magic.
Honestly, it brought on a smile. I’m not trying to be mean. Chalk it up to a Mommy epiphany, a moment of clarity. The day I deleted Minecraft, I liberated myself and you of a virtual, addictive burden. Pressing that shaky, little X ushered you back to real life. That made me happy.
In the beginning, I was a fan.
Compared to the other choices the video game world has to offer, I could see why you wanted to tap the piggy bank to invest in one that requires players to scavenge for resources, earn survival treasure, design landscapes, construct villages, and defend against intruders. As a lifelong rock collector, forager of sorts, visual thinker, and creative designer it appealed to many of your natural sensibilities.
A popular topic of discussion at summer camp and later in the school cafeteria, Minecraft was also something to bond over with friends. Game play and conversations led to art projects, dissecting handbooks, sharing song parodies, and pretend play. It was a vehicle to stretch your imagination, apply ingenuity, problem solve, and socialize. So like organized sports, enrichment programs, and play dates, this Mommy approved video game quickly became outsourcing I could justify.
Not only did I feel like I was doing right by your development; it kept you busy, safe, in an earshot and out of my hair all at the same time. My afternoon was still my own and I didn’t necessarily have to entertain or engage with you all that much.
Then I began to notice screen time and giving up the screen made you cranky and angry. You responded less to Dad and me, ignored guests, and blew off friends playing outside. Preferred downtime was spent in the basement; alone in a Minecraft cave.
Even with the game shut off, I was living with a one note Bubbe on Enderman autopilot. It was all you wanted to talk, draw, write, and think about. And when The Skootch got access, twice the misery ensued.
So in an effort to find balance, we set up a schedule to earn and limit play time.
It didn’t work.
The timer chime was drowned out daily by your pleading, sometimes screaming voice, “I wasn’t done; I just found iron, I need a diamond sword, a creeper destroyed my supplies and all I have left is a raw chicken!”
It was only after the drama escalated to the point where I found myself ripping the IPad from your grip and yelling back, “Who cares; it’s not real!” that I knew we needed a big change.
All craziness combined led me to Deletion Day.
In the future, I’m not ruling out screen time completely; that would make me a hypocrite but Minecraft was sucking wind from your childhood and it needed to go away.
Proof of my decision came the morning after Deletion Day when I read an article about Steve Jobs; the man who invented the tablet on which you play. He was brilliant for many reasons, particularly in his choice to limit his own children’s access to technology.
A few hours later, you played with months old Minecraft Legos for the first time and said, “Mom, this is fun. I never would have known if I kept playing video games.” I then knew we were heading in a better direction.
Your Lego comment got me thinking more about fun and parent approved outsourcing, both today and when I was your age.
Like you, I kept busy after school and like you, my mother gravitated toward outsourcing. She didn’t have insight into child development or the value of play, I’m just pretty sure that when she came home from work, she didn’t want to see my face until dinner.
But I didn’t play video games, do gobs of after school activities, or have scheduled dates to see friends.
I was let out of the house and off the leash; in an earshot of only the person on the bike next to me and left in an unstructured and by modern standards, unsafe environment to play pickup games with neighboring kids, defend myself against obnoxious villagers, explore the nearby pond, collect crystals from a stream, build forts, and roam through the woods.
Call it my own, private Minecraft. No IPad needed.
And it was good fun.
Growing up isn’t easy but parenting isn’t simple. You can’t always get what you want when you want it, and I can’t always do what makes my life easier. In an effort to raise you to be a thinking, well adjusted, connected, kind, happy, independent human being I sometimes have to check myself and then love you enough to say enough.
Your childhood is just out of my reach, but it is not yet out of yours. Embrace. Enjoy. Experience. Take time in the real world to discover unchartered lands, dig caves, build cities, mix it up with the villagers, and have adventures. You’ll be glad you did.
Now go. I’ll see you at dinner.
I Love You,
Mom
Jennifer can be reached at: http://www.redsaidwhat.com
Twitter: @redsaidwhatblog
Facebook page: Red said what?
Even though the holiday season is fast approaching, and thoughts of outdoor activities turn indoors, you can still show your support to two worthwhile causes throughout the year.
1. How can you honor Veteran’s on this Veteran’s Day? Pick up a box of Band-Aids Our Veteran Heroes design bandages. With each purchase, the company makes a donation to TEAM RED, WHITE & BLUE, an organization that helps and supports veterans. You can find them at Drugstores nationwide.
2. Saturday, November 15 is AMERICA RECYCLES DAY. Sort your cans, bottles, and paper and help keep America beautiful. visit: http://www.americarecyclesday.org
I don’t know about you, but this year’s mild summer and fall produced a bumper crop of veggies in our garden. Especially zucchini. If you are still picking this versatile vegetable, or are just looking for a new way to get your children to eat more veggies, this recipe will do it. It’s so simple and DELICIOUS. Even reluctant eaters should give it a try.
Zucchini Pancakes
1. Wash a medium size zucchini and pat it dry. SHRED into a large bowl. You should have about 2 Cups.
2. Add the following: 3 T. flour (or biscuit mix), 1/3 C grated Parmesan Cheese, a sprinkling of onion powder and a dash of salt.
3. Beat an egg and add to the mixture, stirring until all the mix is wet.
4. Put 1T oil in a skillet or on a griddle, spreading it around to coat the pan.
5. Pour spoonfuls of the zucchini mix onto the hot skillet and spread out into a thin layer. Cook until browned and then flip.
6. Serve hot. These pancakes make a great side dish and are reminiscent of potato pancakes.
Variations: Try using grated beets or carrots for a sweeter tasting pancake. Or mix half zucchini and half carrot. You can also add 2 T of minced onion to the mix instead of the onion powder.
What do you think? Is this recipe a winner?
Recipe Card Give-Away: If you’d like a set of the FOUR recipes found in my MG novel WHEELS OF CHANGE, leave a comment or your favorite zucchini recipe. I’ll put everyone’s name in a hat and choose TWO winners. You have until 10-31 to post your comments.
I love all the fresh fruit that’s available this time of year. Every trip to the grocery or farmer’s market is an olfactory and visual delight as summer fruits abound. Why not take advantage of the color and variety and make your own fruit salad to have as a snack or for a refreshing dessert at the next barbeque.
For my fruit salad, I used peaches, kiwi, cherries, and blueberries. You can add grapes, cantaloupe, watermelon, pineapple or raspberries. Think multi-colored and you’re sure to have a winning combination. You can sprinkle unsweetened coconut on top or even some homemade granola if you want to add some crunch. Don’t be afraid to try new combinations. It’s all delicious!
Good and Easy Granola
By Ferida Wolff
Here is a nice and easy way to perk up your breakfast. You need seven ingredients but it only takes two steps to make this great granola. You might like to add raisins to your cereal bowl or strawberries or blueberries in season but it tastes terrific plain, too. The recipe makes enough for a week of breakfasts!
Ingredients
2 cups old fashioned oatmeal
1 cup puffed cereal
1 cup sliced almonds
½ cup sunflower seeds
½ cup flaked, unsweetened coconut
¼ cup oil
¼ cup maple syrup, Grade B
Directions
1. Combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl, then spread mixture on a baking sheet.
2. Bake at 300 degrees for twenty minutes, stirring once halfway through. Let cool, then put the granola in a covered container and store until ready to eat.
Note: Parchment paper on the baking sheet helps keep the ingredients from sticking.
Ferida Wolff is the author of 17 books for children and three for adults. She also writes a nature blog http://www.feridasbackyard.blogspot.com . She loves to cook and discover new ways of combining ingredients. She can be reached at [email protected]
Here is a healthy and easy recipe for crepes that you can adapt and use with whatever fillings you like. The crepes can be made ahead and frozen until ready to use. If you decide to freeze them, place waxed paper between each on for easy thawing.
Mother’s Day Crepes
2/3 C buckwheat flour 1/3 C whole wheat pastry flour 2 eggs
1 ¼ C almond or soy milk 1 T honey or agave syrup ¼ t salt
1-2 T oil – as needed to cook crepes
1. Combine flours and eggs. Mix well
2. Stir in milk, honey, and salt. Beat with a whisk until smooth.
3. Drop less than ¼ C of batter at a time onto a hot, oiled skillet or crepe pan. Tilt and rotate to distribute batter evenly over the bottom, of the pan.
4. Cook until done on bottom (Lift edge, if it is lightly flecked with brown, it’s done)
5. Turn crepe over and cook several seconds on second side.
6. Repeat with remaining batter, oiling skillet as needed.
7. Stack crepes until ready to fill.
Filling: spread each crepe with Nutella and sprinkle with sliced strawberries, raspberries and/or blueberries. Fold over and sprinkle with powdered sugar or cocoa powder.
Variations: Spread crepes with peanut or almond butter and sliced bananas. Or try tropical fruit such as mango, papaya and pineapple and sprinkle with coconut.
For other Mother’s Day Recipes, try visiting: http://www.familycircle.com/momsdayrecipes
Spring is the perfect time to make a pot of Asparagus Soup since the vegetable is found in abundance this time of year and is also quite economical. This recipe is so easy and perfect for kids to make. It will impress any guest and add an elegant touch to a lunch or dinner. There is also a GLUTEN FREE OPTION. See below:
Light and Easy Cream of Asparagus Soup
3 C sliced asparagus – about 1 pound
1 chopped leek or medium onion
2 C of chicken or vegetable broth
¾ t. thyme
1 bay leaf
1 clove garlic, minced
1 T flour (note: for a GLUTEN FREE option, eliminate flour and dice one potato to add as thickener)
2 C low fat milk
Dash of nutmeg
2 t. butter
Salt to taste.
1. Combine first 6 ingredients in a large saucepan over medium heat. (If using potato instead of flour add it to the above. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer 10 minutes. Discard bay leaf.
2. Place mixture in a blender and process until smooth.
3. If using flour to thicken, add it to the pan and whisk in the milk until blended. Return pureed asparagus mixture to the pot and add nutmeg. Stir to combine.
4. Bring to a boil and simmer 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat, stir in butter and salt to taste. Garnish with asparagus tips if desired.
Variations: Substitute 2 C baby carrots for asparagus for Cream of Carrot Soup. OR, substitute 2 C leeks and 2 C diced potatoes for Leek and Potato Soup.
By: darlenebeckjacobson,
on 4/17/2014
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Earth Day helps us focus on being kind to our planet. We often take for granted all the wonders this beautiful place we call home provides. To honor the earth, on Earth Day, and every day, here are some things you can do:
1. Recycle EVERYTHING you can. Find a list at http://www.recyclingcenters.org
2. Repurpose and find other uses for objects you used to throw away. One example is to use empty tin cans and jars for pencils or flower vases. Visit http://www.creatingreallyawesomefreethings.com to find some great “tin can crafts”.
3. Instead of the cardboard coffee cup sleeve, check ebay.com for unique and clever cotton and knitted reusable coffee cup sleeves.
4. Learn how to make yarn from plastic bags (plarn) at: http://www.wikihow.com
5. Donate your old electronics by visiting: http://www.pickupplease.org for details.
6. When shipping items, use old newspapers for packing instead of Styrofoam peanuts.
7. Catch rain in buckets to water the garden.
8. Use bar soap instead of liquid in plastic bottles.
If you’re wondering where you can go to take part in Earth Day events, visit http://www.earthday.org to find local events in your area as well as volunteer opportunities. Being a good steward of the earth is important, and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t also be fun. I’ll post more ways to be a friend to the earth on Monday as well as tell you how to get free seeds for plants that attract butterflies to your garden. Stay tuned.
By: darlenebeckjacobson,
on 3/23/2014
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I don’t know about you, but after this long and tenacious winter, I look forward to getting outdoors as soon as the weather is warmer. Most kids love the natural world and what better way to introduce them to the wonders of nature than with a garden. Planting and watching things grow is rewarding, satisfying and good exercise. Don’t know where to begin? There are many wonderful resources and websites with specific tips and ideas for gardening with children. Before I list some of these sites, here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. Keep things simple. You don’t have to dig up your entire yard to reap the benefits of gardening. Start with a small raised bed or a large container or two.
2. Try fast growing crops such as lettuces, chives, radishes, spinach, herbs and the like.
3. Let your kids have a say in what they grow. If you’re trying to encourage them to eat more veggies, let them pick the ones they would like to try. I’ll bet they get excited about tasting them once they see them pop up in the garden.
4. Make weeding and watering part of the daily routine. That way you will keep the unwanted weeds under control and ensure that the seeds get a fair chance at sprouting. Always weed when soil is moist to avoid damaging roots of tender plants.
5. Check out the library for gardening books for beginners and children.
Make it fun! See whose seeds sprout first, whose veggies grow fastest, are tallest, etc. When it comes time to harvest, let the kids plan a meal using the fruits – and veggies – they grew.
Here are some great gardening sites to get you started:
Gardening with Children from Earth Easy
Ten Tips on Gardening with Kids from the American Community Gardening Association
Gardening with Children from the BBC This site tells you how to compost, cultivate earth worms, use beneficial insects for pollination and has many child-friendly activities related to gardening and the outdoors.
Stimulating Imagination in the Garden from Kids Gardening
My First Garden from the University of Illinois
Happy Growing – and eating!
By: darlenebeckjacobson,
on 3/16/2014
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With St. Patrick’s Day arriving next week, why not plan a Green Day and serve green foods, wear as much green as you can and plant some seeds in a pot to get a head start on the growing season. Lettuce, parsley, and chives are all quick sprouters and don’t mind the chilly days of early spring. While you wait for the lettuce greens to grow, try this recipe for a healthy green salad:
MIXED GREENS SALAD: 1. Wash and pat dry a mix of salad greens such as romaine, spinach, arugula, radicchio, or any combination you like. Now the tasty fun begins.
Add any or all of the following to make a plain salad a satisfying main dish: sliced cucumbers, olives, shredded carrots, dried cherries or cranberries, sliced strawberries, blueberries, or grapes. Add toasted, slivered almonds or walnuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, and grated Parmesan cheese (or any cheese of your choice). If you’re a vegetarian, you can stop here.
The photo version has a packet of salmon on top. I’ve eaten it with shredded chicken or tuna as well. ANY leftover meat works well.
Sprinkle with your favorite dressing – I used a raspberry balsamic with olive oil – and serve with breadsticks or garlic toast and you will get rave reviews.
Another GREEN food treat that is fun and easy for kids to make is KALE CHIPS. Check the recipe section of this blog for the recipe.
Stay tuned for some kid-friendly gardening tips to make things turn green in your own backyard.
There are so many recipes made for kids who are interested in learning how to prepare or cook simple meals. Depending on the age of the child, all children can lend a hand in the kitchen. It is a great way to build self-esteem and get your child to try new foods. When he or she has helped prepare a meal, tasting the food is part of that job.
Some simple kitchen and meal prep tasks are: chopping or dicing vegetables, spreading butter or other condiments onto bread, grating cheese, mixing sauces, beating eggs, tearing lettuce for salads, measuring ingredients for baking, rolling out dough, sifting flour, stirring, coating chicken in breadcrumbs. I’m sure you can think of many more. Will the kitchen be messier when kids participate in cooking? Sure, but clean up is part of the job.
Being competent in the kitchen is not only a necessary life skill, it increases awareness of what goes into a meal and where food comes from. It also can lead to our children making better, healthier food choices. And, it’s a way for busy families to connect and have some time together. Everyone has to eat. Involve the kids and make meal time a family affair. Here are two web sites for inspiration: http://www.cookinggames.com and bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/kids-baking
By: darlenebeckjacobson,
on 8/23/2013
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If you’re looking for some new trails or pathways to hike and bike what’s left of summer and into fall, check out http://www.traillink.com
This site is hosted by the Rails-to-Trails Conservancy, a non-profit agency that has helped convert more than 21,000 miles of old railroad beds into trails across the U.S.
Here’s my blogger friend Gail Terp with some great tips for getting your kids in Back To School mode.
Back to School Tips: Some kids are starting school this week; others will start within the next few weeks. After a summer of less structure, getting back into school mode can be a challenge. Here are a few tips for getting off to a good start.
Establish a place to keep all school information.
- Your child’s teacher(s) and contact information
- Your child’s schedule
- The school calendar
- Documents such as report cards, immunizations, a behavior plan, Individualized Educational Plan (IEP), and any document you think you may want to refer to through the year
School Clothes
- Inventory your child’s school clothes and discard/recycle mismatched socks, clothes that don’t fit, and clothes your child doesn’t like. Getting these things out of the way will streamline getting dressed for school
- Consider setting out school clothes the night before. This can greatly help the morning preparations.
Morning Routine
- Brainstorm with your child what needs to be done before he goes out the door in the morning. Things like getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth…
- Write it down! In the morning, if your child needs reminders, all you need to do is have her check her routine card.
- Build in a reward. Checklist completed? Brainstorm what can happen (watch TV, get points towards a reward, computer time…)
- Launching Pad
- Establish a place near the front door to collect all that needs to go out the door. Things like backpacks, lunch, shoes, jackets—whatever you don’t want to have to search the house for.
- Homework
- Set up a routine. This is a very individual thing. A routine is best if your child has input.
- Consider when your child is freshest and most motivated. Right after school? After dinner? For some kids, the morning is a good time. It’s risky, of course, but it’s something to consider.
- If possible, establish a dedicated homework area. This will need to reflect your child’s work style. Some kids do just fine in their rooms, others need to be where you can monitor their on-task behavior.
Along with my own experience, I used these sites to write this post. Please check out them out for more ideas.
Friendship Circle
Pragmatic Mom
Stress Free Kids
Here are 2 sites that have downloadable resources you may find helpful.
Reading Rockets
School Family
Have a great start to the new school year!
Gail Terp
About Me
I’m a retired teacher who has spent the last 30 years working with enthusiastic and reluctant readers. One of my top goals as a teacher was to connect kids with books they loved. It’s still my goal. My blog, Best Blog for Kids Who Hate to Read, is one way I use to reach it.
As a parent, we DO have to make these decisions and steer the “childhood ship” :) Had I not pushed my son to try T-ball when that all started (he was totally uninterested, but I told him if he didn’t like it, he would never have to play again after that season’s commitment was over), he never would’ve discovered he LOVED baseball!
I have a love/hate relationship with technology (and a few other things, for that matter lol), and this is one of them. Yay for you!
Thank you and I can absolutely relate to your T-Ball experience. Here’s to steering the childhood ship through hopefully only moderately choppy waters! All the best – Jennifer