Before I go on to the Squid 101 here, a word of thanks to the kind people who submitted entries in the flap-copy contest; it was very interesting and useful to see what you writers judged attractive for other writers (apparently having someone say what NOT to do is as useful as what TO do, as half of you mentioned the "what not to do" thing).
And I have FINISHED THE BOOK TEXT, pending an approvals question. I've discovered that the great danger of self-publishing, at least for me, is that there's been nobody and no deadline to take the manuscript out of my endlessly questioning, pushing, correcting hands. So it feels good to finally declare, "Enough, I'm done" and move on. I'm really pleased with a lot of the new material, and I hope you will be too.
Anyway: emdashes.
The emdash has all the functions of the comma, semicolon, AND colon: It can be used to create pauses, introduce a list, or join two independent or dependent clauses. It is regarded as less formal than all of those marks, however, and they are all preferable in more formal writing. In narrative writing, I think of it as simultaneously more dramatic and more invisible than those marks; it is long enough to create a real pause, but because there generally aren’t any spaces around it, it also creates a continuous flow of text. It can thus be used for scenes where you want a flow of clauses unbroken by real stops, especially in stream-of-consciousness writing or action scenes:
The emdash is also used to set off interruptions, either within a sentence or at the end of it. (Parentheses could be used in this next example just as easily, but because they create a little commentary world unto themselves, closed off from the rest of the sentence, they seem like a bigger pause than emdashes to me.)
And I have FINISHED THE BOOK TEXT, pending an approvals question. I've discovered that the great danger of self-publishing, at least for me, is that there's been nobody and no deadline to take the manuscript out of my endlessly questioning, pushing, correcting hands. So it feels good to finally declare, "Enough, I'm done" and move on. I'm really pleased with a lot of the new material, and I hope you will be too.
Anyway: emdashes.
—
The emdash has all the functions of the comma, semicolon, AND colon: It can be used to create pauses, introduce a list, or join two independent or dependent clauses. It is regarded as less formal than all of those marks, however, and they are all preferable in more formal writing. In narrative writing, I think of it as simultaneously more dramatic and more invisible than those marks; it is long enough to create a real pause, but because there generally aren’t any spaces around it, it also creates a continuous flow of text. It can thus be used for scenes where you want a flow of clauses unbroken by real stops, especially in stream-of-consciousness writing or action scenes:
The squid reached out—the oxygen tank dangling from the tip of its tentacle—I stretched the whole length of my body towards it—but then the shark jerked on my foot and pulled me away.Compare that to:
The squid reached out, the oxygen tank dangling from the tip of its tentacle; I stretched the whole length of my body towards it, but then the shark jerked on my foot and pulled me away.This second example is probably more correct, but because it allows the reader to slow down, it’s rather less dramatic. On the other hand, the first example is probably too dramatic, so it would be wise to strive for a nice balance between the two:
The squid reached out, the oxygen tank dangling from the tip of its tentacle. I stretched the whole length of my body towards it—but then the shark jerked on my foot and pulled me away.What's nice about this one is that the emdash creates a brief little pause at the moment of highest suspense, like being at the top of a hill on a roller coaster: Will our narrator get the oxygen tank in time? And then the dash's length drags that moment out until the shark answers the question for us. A semicolon would have been incorrect there, and a comma or colon wouldn't have had the same sense of suspension, I don't think. I love dashes for just this drama and flexibility, though if you share my addiction to them, we need to remember that like all highly dramatic marks, they should be used sparingly.
The emdash is also used to set off interruptions, either within a sentence or at the end of it. (Parentheses could be used in this next example just as easily, but because they create a little commentary world unto themselves, closed off from the rest of the sentence, they seem like a bigger pause than emdashes to me.)
The dead squid—the only trustworthy kind, as far as Joan was concerned—lay limply on the dock.My authors know that if Character X is speaking and Character Y interrupts him, I will almost always request that they end Character X’s speech with an emdash to signify X’s getting cut off abruptly.
I assure you, Officer, I have never eaten—HEY! Did you get a look at that squid?
Looking deeply into Selina’s larger left eye, Phil took her fro9 Comments on SQUIDS 101: Punctuation: Emdashes, last added: 7/29/2010Display Comments Add a Comment
By: Cheryl Klein,
on 6/30/2010
Blog: Brooklyn Arden (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Editing, Writing, Squids 101, Add a tag
The colon. It can join two independent clauses as a semicolon does; it can link an independent and a related dependent clause as a comma or emdash do; or it can be used to introduce a list in which the items are separated by commas or semicolons. It is our house style (following the Chicago Manual, I believe) that complete sentences that follow a colon are to begin with a capped letter. Fragments or lists after the colon should begin with a lowercase letter.
The squid stared at me in surprise: It had evidently never seen a scuba diver shoot ink back at it before.I hear the pause after a colon as longer than the pause after a semicolon because there should be two spaces after the mark as opposed to one (and the greater the space accorded to anything in a story, the greater the weight it has), and because the cap at the start of a new sentence carries its own weight.
The squid opened its luminescent eyes: vast orbs glowing like Chinese lanterns.
Contact lenses for squids are available in the following colors: chartreuse, periwinkle, lilac, rose, and burnt sienna.
4 Comments on SQUIDS 101: Punctuation: Colons, last added: 7/2/2010
Display Comments
Add a Comment
By: Cheryl Klein,
on 6/20/2010
Blog: Brooklyn Arden (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Squids 101, Add a tag
Semicolons are stronger and heavier than commas, and as such, they create a slightly longer or more significant pause. The semicolon joins two independent clauses, usually on the same topic or thought. I frequently use them to join two independent clauses that are already joined by a conjunction, when I want the longer pause of a semi plus the aural smoothness of a conjunction; I have always thought this was technically wrong, but the rule list linked above assured me that this is acceptable so long as there is a comma in the first independent clause. (And considering the length of the sentences I write, there usually is!) These examples are apparently both correct:
Serendipitously, the squid surfed into sight at that second; startled, it squirted away.If you are making a list in which the list items themselves contain commas, then the list items should be divided by semicolons as follows:
Serendipitously, the squid surfed into sight at that second; but Sir Septimus screamed, and it squirted away.
The squid ate five sardines; six mussels, which he found rather hard to open; seven anemones, sans clownfish; and a Boston cream pie.Perhaps because they're used in so much eighteenth- and nineteenth-century English literature, I often think of semicolons as a little bit formal or fussy; they're the maiden aunt of punctuation, as opposed to the boldness of a dash or the unobtrusiveness of a comma. But like many maiden aunts, they are wonderfully useful at keeping many unruly things in line, be they ideas, clauses, or commas. Indeed, because they're so good at neatly delineating multiple similar items within a sentence, I also feel like semicolons signal complexity; when used correctly, their presence in your prose says that you know how to present and manage all these items competing for the reader's attention -- that you have things under control.
Finally, Semikolon is an excellent German paper-goods company, should you be a stationery hound like I am.
4 Comments on SQUIDS 101: Punctuation: Semicolons, last added: 6/23/2010
Display Comments
Add a Comment
By: Cheryl Klein,
on 6/13/2010
Blog: Brooklyn Arden (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Projects, Squids 101, Add a tag
The following material is taken from my book, which is in its last editing stages, glory hallelujah. I'll probably post the rest of my goofy guide to punctuation over time.
Another ENEMY to sentence rhythm: the wrong punctuation. I am obsessed with punctuation because I am a very aural editor, and punctuation is (or should be) the writer's primary means of registering the tones and pauses in a dramatic scene. Pauses have drama, and too many pauses can make too much drama, but too few might make a reader miss some crucial information as the flow of words can overwhelm the facts within. Altogether, I agree with this wonderful quotation from Isaac Babel: “No steel can pierce the heart of man as icily as a full stop placed at the right moment.”
This, then, is the highly idiosyncratic Cheryl Klein Guide to Punctuation -- by no means a definitive guide to punctuation -- with the various marks analyzed in ascending order of their pause length and therefore drama. (The examples all involve squids for the lone reason that “squid” is a funny word.) If you would like a more serious guide to punctuation with clear and official rules of use, I suggest checking out http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/marks.htm.
,
The lowly hardworking comma. It creates the briefest pause, used to establish a quick hitch in the flow of speech for either organizational or dramatic purposes. While every house or copyeditor has its own rules on how to use commas, I generally try to abide by the taste of the author and the point of the writing in question. For instance, technically, both of these sentences are correct:
I, personally, prefer the elegance of the glass squid to the asymmetry of the cock-eyed squid.The point of a sentence like this is not just to convey information about squid preferences, but to show the personality of the speaker. A very sententious, arrogant, or dramatic speaker might want those pauses around “personally” to emphasize that these are his personal tastes, and as such, you know, they’re not that important—at the same time implying that, because they’re his tastes, you might want to pay attention. A less sententious speaker might not want those pauses so the sentence flows faster and reads more smoothly (indeed, a speaker not wanting to draw attention to himself might delete the adverb altogether). Thus, depending on how much the writer and editor wanted to emphasize the speaker’s self-importance, those commas might be left in or taken away.
I personally prefer the elegance of the glass squid to the asymmetry of the cock-eyed squid.
Because commas create pauses, a good rule of thumb is: The faster the action should move in a sentence or a scene, the fewer commas-of-choice you should have. Consider these two sentences:
The squid, furious, lashed out with six tentacles, grasping Martha about the neck.Removing the commas-of-choice around the appositive "furious" and moving it back to become a preceding adjective makes the opening of the sentence move much more quickly, as the reader doesn't have to pause for the appositive. The additional value of "grasping" with comma vs. "and grasped" without is debatable, as I think long sentences without some pause actually get harder to read; but that may be because I'm just so much an aural reader that I want breathing spaces even in printed prose.
The furious squid lashed out with six tentacles and grasped Martha about the neck.
Of course, you can also use pauses to drag things out. In The Hunger Games example [that I quote in th
10 Comments on SQUIDS 101: Punctuation: Commas, last added: 6/17/2010
Display Comments
Add a Comment
By: Rebecca,
on 1/7/2008
Blog: OUPblog (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: communicating, assertive, assertion, situations, parent, assertively, Health, assertiveness, A-Featured, Medical Mondays, Psychology, mistakes, Add a tag
One of my New Year’s resolutions is to assert myself more effectively. I often find that I have trouble sticking up for myself without feeling that I am being pushy. So I turned to Overcoming Depression and Low Mood: A Five Areas Approach by Chris Williams. Dr Chris Williams is a recognized expert and trainer in Cognitive Behavior Therapy and works as a senior lecturer in Psychological Medicine at the University of Glasgow. The book is a series of short self-help workbooks, below is an excerpt from the assertiveness workshop.
What is assertiveness? (more…)
0 Comments on A New Year, A New You? as of 1/1/1990
Add a Comment
I'll admit to not knowing all about this one, so thank you for enlightening me! Now I know I've actually been using it properly . . . for the most part. :)
Looking deeply into Selina’s larger left eye, Phil took her front tentacle in his and murmured, “My most beautiful Miss Bonnellii, will you do me the honor of becoming—”
“I WON!” screeched Ethel from across the restaurant.
==============================
Thanks for this example. I had a similar situation arise and was wondering if you should end the dialog with a period after the em dash...I see now that you should not.
hmmm....in your first example of multiple emdashes, it feels very choppy and broken-up to me (not a continuous flow of anything). I confess to an unnatural and overriding love of the semi-colon, which negatively impacts my feelings about the emdash.
still, this is a pretty great little guide. have you perhaps considered writing a very brief style guide, say for your average undergrad, using squid-based examples to explain punctuation?
[also: why such squiddity? were you reading Mieville's KRAKEN? i guess i need to go review your archive to source the squids...but ever since I read Kraken two weeks ago, squids have been turning up EVERYWHERE. it's disconcerting]
AHA! i have reviewed your SQUIDS 101 series and now it all makes sense.
In all seriousness, would you mind if I provided your website details to my undergrads as a good quick source for some basic punctuation/editing info? they'd much rather look online than crack open a book, AND your Harry Potter connection should provoke their interest (and thus lure them into a life in the grammatical underworld!)
Ah, the glorious emdash. I am also guilty of overusing it, but I just love how it looks.
Thanks for these entries. I'm an editor as well, and over the years I have realized that I have a passion for punctuation.
Thanks for your explanation of the infamous em dash.
I'm a technical writer by trade, and it is interesting to see how differently the em dash is used in my field. In my experience, the em dash is used in place of a colon, especially in sub-lists where a colon was already used. It is used more as a way to separating items then causing a pause.
It is also used many times in place of a colon to create white space around a definition.
Thanks again for your explanation, I'm looking forward to more.
Great post. The mystery of em-dashes explained and the secret of en-dashes exposed. I was always clear on em-dashes to express interrupted speech, but was hazy on replacing commas, colons & semi-colons.
I still find myself using a colon on the rare occasion my narrative has a list. Maybe I'll switch to em-dashes.
I've also read that semi-colons have fallen very much out of favor. Is there truth to that rumor?
I appreciate your explanation and examples of the emdash. They were very helpful.
Здравейте! топъл поздрав.
Блогът ви изглежда добре.
Надявам се получат успеха през цялото време.