by Stephanie Romero
Anyone who is a parent (or knows one—which would qualify all of us), is well aware of the mommy wars that can happen. You know the ones I’m talking about…homeschooling versus traditional schooling, stay-at-home mom versus working mom, co-sleeping versus let ‘em cry it out and well, the list could go on and on.
But there’s another battle that can emerge when it comes to mothers who are writers. It is the pull between parenting and pursuing your passion. Somehow we’ve been convinced that we must choose one or the other. Or we have to wait until a “season” or “stage” in our child’s life has passed. Yet the next one could prove to be more difficult and time-consuming than the last. So we remain stuck. Or we end up feeling guilty because we’ve made what we perceive as the wrong choice.
For too long, mothers have been convinced that when they choose something else to pursue (other than parenting), they should feel guilty. As if being a mom is the only identifying factor in her life. When the truth is that we are so much more. We have passions that go beyond motherhood, so why not embrace them?
Do you ever feel guilty about writing? I have been there. When I’ve been holed up in my office downstairs for hours at a time, knowing my full attention isn’t always with my children. So I have to remind myself—this is not only my passion, it’s my job. I get paid to do this—which means someone is expecting me to produce. I’m teaching them responsibility and something about hard work.
But the same thing can happen when we want to take time to break away and work on that novel, polish up the manuscript or write a blog post. The guilt monster sits on our shoulder, needling away at us. “What kind of mom are you?!” And we’re back to believing that in pursuing our passion as a writer, we have somehow failed as a mother.
Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we do it to other women? Because we believe the lies. We have fallen into that trap, the one that tries to convince us we are not being a good mom if we are passionate about something other than our children. Of course, it’s all about balance. But that’s a different topic for another day.
The point is, I feel like women need permission to be excited about something else in life. To understand that the beauty of being a woman extends beyond motherhood. You can be a mother AND a writer. You might have to write during naptime, in the middle of the night or while they’re at school. But for heaven’s sake, don’t wait until the “right time.” Do it now. You really don’t have to choose between parenting and pursuing your passion for writing—there is a way to have both.
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Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Benefits of an Editorial Calendar by Stephanie RomeroWhen I started off my writing career, I was making literally pennies a day. However, the source that I was writing for always provided an editorial calendar.
The calendar reminded me of special holidays and events coming up that could be used as content. It also contained topics and ideas to spur my creative juices.
Now that I am no longer writing for them and make better money as a professional blogger, I have found it beneficial to create my own editorial calendar. Whether you blog personally or professionally, coming up with topics can be a challenge.
One source that I professionally write for requires that each month I produce 15 blogs on parenting teens, 10 on housekeeping, 10 on fitness, 5 on marriage, and 5 on home-based business. Coming up with fresh ideas each month can be a challenge, so that is when I decided to create my own editorial calendar.
I picked up a calendar from my local office supply store and began to fill in each month with ideas. Not only did I include holidays but I spent time looking up other nationally-recognized events.
For instance, “National Simplify Your Life Week” can be used in a home business blog or housekeeping. “Middle Child’s Day” is a great topic for parenting teens. And “Relaxation Day” fits in with my personal blog that I write.
You have to think outside of the box when it comes to topics. September is generally known for the time of kids going back to school. Depending on who you write for, you could turn this into a topic.
In fact, you could create a series out of certain topics. If you are hard-pressed in coming up with new ideas on what to write about, consider creating your own editorial calendar.
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Stephanie Romero is a professional blogger for Families and independent contractor for We Do Web Content. Through her personal blogs she inspires others to actively pursue their dreams and mothers to seek out those heartfelt prayers for their children. She is the creator and instructor of “Recovery from Abuse,” an online course that is currently being used in a correctional institution’s character-based program. In addition, she leads an online writer’s critique group for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Stephanie has taught workshops and Bible studies on a variety of topics to small and large groups of women. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Write-Less Writerby Stephanie RomeroFor some, writing is therapeutic. For others it is the way to fulfill a dream or even to earn a living. And if there is one bit of advice that many writers will give you, it is to write every single day.
However, I tend to think differently. I believe we need to set aside one day every week where we
don’t write. Too much thinking, too many words swirling in your mind can suck away at your creativity.
I think this is especially true for those writers who make a living doing it. Monday through Friday I am working on my paid writing assignments. Saturdays I find myself writing a newsletter, my weekly blog, a book review and the list goes on.
Despite how much I love writing, I sometimes find myself being consumed by the written word. By taking one day a week (which for me is Sunday), to banish all thoughts of writing from my mind, helps me to feel refreshed come Monday morning.
I use my one-day-a-week to be a “write-less” writer. I may partake in any number of activities from attending church, to spending time with family, reading a book or watching a couple of movies.
While I don’t write on this one day there are times when an idea pops into my head. I jot it down. But I don’t go to my computer and start typing away. If it’s a good enough idea, I will be able to formulate it into something useful later on.
The idea of being a “write-less” writer for one day a week may sound unimaginable for some. But for others it can actually be freeing. You may have even felt guilty about not wanting to write 7 days a week. Give yourself permission to unplug the word machine from your brain and allow it to rest.
Give yourself permission to be a “write-less” writer one day a week.
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Stephanie Romero works as an independent contractor writing web content for law firms. In addition she is a regular blogger at Families.com (http://www.families.com/hizchozen/), editor/writer for the independent parties’ site at Bella Online – The Voice of Women (http://www.bellaonline.com/site/independentparties), and the author/instructor for an online course, “Recovery from Abuse” (http://vu.ksurf.net/catalog/5824.html). In her spare time she works on her personal blog (http://stephaniesromero.blogspot.com/) and encourages women to live their dream (http://stephanieromero.wordpress.com/). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!
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A Woman Who Writes Is a Working Woman
by Stephanie RomeroPerhaps I am dating myself but do you remember an old commercial from years ago that went something like this, “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan. And never, ever let you forget you’re a man ‘cause I’m a woman.”
The whole point of this commercial was that as a woman she could do it all. It’s an empowering feeling but is it realistic?
As a writer one of the things that I have faced is the misconception that I have nothing but time on my hands. We tend to respect professions that require working in an office or another type of setting. But for those of us who work from home as a writer, well, it sounds a little too “relaxed.”
Writers must surely have time for naps and watching “Oprah,” right? I mean, after all, this isn’t really a true “profession,” is it? I have learned that it’s not easy to get others to take my line of work seriously.
In fact, at times I have found it difficult to get others to respect my work time. There have been many assumptions made that flexibility as a writer allows me to do whatever I like.
Working from home as a writer actually requires a great deal of dedication and discipline. I can’t bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan all of the time because quite honestly, sometimes I am swamped with work.
It could be that I have deadlines to meet or I have so much within that I have no choice but to let it all out through my writing. Writing is a profession and it deserves respect. We may not be able to convince others of this but I still believe we can walk with our heads held high and proudly declare that we are a working woman, a woman who writes.
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Stephanie Romero works as an independent contractor writing web content for law firms. In addition she is a regular blogger at Families.com (http://www.families.com/hizchozen/), editor/writer for the independent parties’ site at Bella Online – The Voice of Women (http://www.bellaonline.com/site/independentparties), Milwaukee Marriage Advice Examiner (http://www.examiner.com/marriage-advice-in-milwaukee/stephanie-romero) and the author/instructor for an online course, “Recovery from Abuse” (http://vu.ksurf.net/catalog/5824.html). In her spare time she works on her personal blog (http://stephaniesromero.blogspot.com/) and encourages women to live their dream (http://stephanieromero.wordpress.com/). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. We look forward to hearing from you!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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This is a great idea Stephanie, thanks for sharing it. Sometimes when I read a great idea like this, I think to myself "why didn't I think of that?". But, I didn't and you did...so again, thanks for sharing it with the world.
Great ideas, Stephanie! Isn't it amazing how there seems to be a national holiday for everything from ice cream to bathroom reading (yes, June is National Bathroom Reading Month)? LOL It's fantastic for writers! :)