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“I resist the urge to give MORE when I am not getting what I need.”

I am one that will hold on tight to my emotions in order to stay in strength, but sometimes, I need some releasing of the dam to maintain balance or mine erupts. Because I’m not a crier easily, I need to jump-start the process. Perhaps, you are the same. Here are my top Crying Resources to allow me to have a good cry, release, and be back in balance. Drum roll please.

Top 5 Crying-starting Resources:

1. Watch the finales of any competition reality show. I just watched Robert win Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge (spoiler alert) and the tears flowed in happiness for the guy. It’s wonderful watching someone’s hard work pay off and dream come true. This is a good cathartic cry that is unchallenging and doesn’t push too many buttons. 
2. Watch more television. Last night I watched a marathon of Pretty Little Liars and witnessed the usually perfectly-attired and made-up actresses fall apart by wearing mis-matched clothing and minimal makeup while their sanity and lives fell apart. I cried along with them in unison but this cry brought up pass pain to release, and should be monitored to avoid going down roads that are unhelpful and unnecessary to the therapeutic process.
3. I read an article today in the Facebook Feed about a local puppy that is in the hospital after being thrown from a car window. This was an ugly, torturous cry. I felt so deeply for this baby and anger for those who hurt it, and a deep sadness for the state of humanity. This is a tough cry that should only be tackled on courageous days you can handle it, otherwise, to be avoided. 
4. Sappy feel-good movies such as Field of Dreams are perfect for feeling better about life in general and experiencing a really healthy cry. Best antidote after reading Facebook feed puppy stories. Look for movies that you know will end happy. We don’t want surprise twist endings here. AVOID movies like the current one in the theaters where everyone is dying. The Titantic is about a sinking ship. You know that one won’t fare well. Use your common sense here.
5. There are good spontaneous cries when someone gives you a hug when you need it, or says something so perfect that you feel seen and validated. These cries can’t be arranged, but fall under really good release cries. Increase these any time you can.

Well, there’s my recommendations. What’s yours? Or, are you the type of crier who needs no help?

I am learning…Many sensitive people carry too much. We’re the responsible type and have an inflated sense of what is our responsibility and what is not. Believe it or not, even though we care deeply for others, it is not our responsibility to make sure they are happy or their needs are met, it’s their job. (With the exclusion of the responsibility of taking care of children and animals). When we stand our ground and say what we need, and someone doesn’t like it, it’s not our responsibility. We need take care of ourselves. That’s our jobs. This morning a burst of guidance came through I wanted to share. I need to say this several times a day and let it sink in. :)

I’ve been busy compiling the first lessons for the new storytelling and intuition class. We’re going to have a nice group. I’m very excited. It’s been awhile since I have been able to create a new class for the curriculum of Fairy and Empath Online School.  For that little peek, lessons will include these fun sections:

a movie lesson of the week

Options to choose from for your homework

Written lesson and fun exercises

And….

lots more. Want to join us for this intriguing class so you can reach your intuition/soul by letting it tell its story?

SIGN UP OVER HERE. Class starts on Friday.

There’s some seriously powerful energies been brewing up lately. Can you feel them? On one hand, I feel my intuitive abilities have just leaped up a notch. I’m feeling much like young Superman who burned holes in the wall from not knowing how to control his superpower vision. On the flip side of all this psychic mojo is a lot of STUFF is releasing that I’m guessing really need to be released. A step up must move a ton of crud out of the way.

Back when I was in high school, I was pretty dedicated to my dancing. And in the process of dancing in lessons after school and in high school dance classes, I was overusing my dominate leg tendon too much. When I was forced to run several miles around a track in a gym class I hated (still have nightmares about gym classes) I seriously pulled that tendon to its breaking point. For the first time in my life, I was on crutches trying to navigate my life until it healed.

I’m thinking that when we get hurt emotionally in life, whether from someone else’s actions, or from loss, or just from life circumstances, we are injured and have a wound, much like my hurt tendon.

The other day I got triggered. My emotions were set to high and you would think I was injured that day, but it was that old wound just getting re-injured. You know that saying, salt in a wound? That’s just what happens after big wounds. Some wounds don’t heal properly the first time around. Or, maybe, we just couldn’t feel at the time. It wasn’t safe and now that we are, it can truly heal. And just like any injury, the best thing is to stay off the leg for awhile so it can bring itself back into balance, and that means looking at the trigger and deciding what needs to be expressed, or felt, or even avoided what can trigger for healing’s sake until we are off the crutches. (Interesting how my dance injury did keep me out of gym class for several months, but forced me to miss dancing).

Years later, I am still dancing whenever I get the chance to, even spontaneous bursting into steps when the radio plays, but that leg still carries a small throb as a reminder to take it easy, and be extra careful with my soft spots.

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You may enjoy my post on Broken Leg Theory, which is also included in my book, Help! I’m Sensitive. 

Our souls whisper to us through stories. (Class starts March 21st)

December is a wrap-up time. It’s a time of looking at the year you’ve just gone through and sizing up and determining which way to go next. How do you do that with all the choices and opportunities? It can be overwhelming. As someone who is very empathic, I have a built-in radar system that I often curse at and ignore, which, I should be making friends with.

What’s this radar, you ask?

How I feel, especially in my body.

Now I can be slow in the intake, but the situation is improving. The time between getting upset/having an emotional or physical reaction and figuring out that I am upset has shortened. Gone is the time when I’d feel horrible for several days, even weeks, and not know why, because I am now finally noticing with the help of this tool which I will now share with you.

I was faced with a decision over the weekend when an opportunity presented itself. It sounded good and glossy and enticing, but the rest of the day THE MOOD hit. Now, sometimes THE MOOD is one of those empathic “picking up someone else’s shit and I’m carrying around not realizing it is not mine and yet I’m feeling it” kind of moods. I tuned in, and asked this time around, and got a NO from my body that this wasn’t the case.

I explored THE MOOD. I am not a big time fan of this time of year, so there was a little of that melancholy thrown in that I acknowledged. Having experienced many losses this year, I knew that grief was lingering around and was part of what I was feeling. A good cry was needed which I indulged in by watching a sappy movie, but THE MOOD persisted. What was going on?!

A big thank you to my good friends who helped me realize that I was considering go down the wrong way by possibly accepting the opportunity I was presented with. My body was letting me know that opportunity was not aligned with me! It was the wrong fit. Yes, logical mind had a ton of reasons why this choice was a good one. I’d get out of my comfort zone, tackle doing things I wasn’t good at but could be good at. I’d meet new people, and the choice would eventually lead to the direction I wanted to go, maybe. Logical mind is very good at molding me and squooshing me into boxes. But I am a soul that likes to break out of boxes. Body, on the other hand, has a direct line to my inner, empathic radar. It just reacts and lets me know: “Ronni, what the f(*%K are you doing, Girl?” Unlike logical mind, the body knows the simple answers to these questions: will this choice really make me happy? Is this a JOYFUL choice for me? Is it right for me?

We have all had experiences in our lives where we made a choice from logical mind because it looked really good on paper. How did those work out for you? Looking back, I haven’t had one that did.

Thank God and my body for THE MOOD that day. It quickly went away when I acknowledged I was compromising and heading in the wrong direction. (Another good clue). Further insight, and I realized that choice actually would have had me going backwards, not forward. (And that was a really good insight).

So look at your ‘symptoms’ differently today. That stomach ache you keep getting around a certain relative? Don’t curse it, understand what it’s saying. That persistant cold you have every Monday morning you have to go to work? Listen. When THE MOOD hits, don’t berate yourself for being too emotional. And when we bitch and complain we have no guidance and are abandoned, look again in your own backyard! Literally, your own backyard. Your body as your backyard? Get it? Oh, never mind. Just pay attention.

Oh, and incidentally, sometimes the body is saying YES to something that seems totally crazy and illogical, but is a fabulous great decision or the right road to pursue. I felt that way adopting my newest dog family member and going back to school. I’m so glad I listened.

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Be sure to check out my book Help! I’m Sensitive and new book on animal communication, Speak Woof and Meow. And for further tips and tools for being sensitive, sign up for the January session of the EMPATH SKILLS ONLINE CLASS. And one more, keep your eyes on the lookout for my new book, YOUR TURTLE SHELL.

First off, I hoped you enjoyed Animal Communication Month and I want to thank all my fabulous guests who talked of their passion regarding animal communication. Each are wonderful women who have some very important teachings to share.

It’s been a crazy last few months, and quite honestly, I’ve been hesitant to share my thoughts here as I had felt my space was invaded. That’s a yucky place to be in and I am claiming it back. And with this claiming, I want to share what I’ve learned lately. Perhaps, you can relate, and then we can all support each other.

It’s not your shit*

1. Other people’s shit is their shit. Okay, this one is hard to deal with. When someone acts a certain way, I guarantee it’s their own story going round and round in their head that may have nothing to do with you at all. With one of my relatives, I had this amazing shift when I realized I had a long-standing reaction taking things personally, which HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. It WAS my shit of why I took it personally. When I realized what my shit was, after a lot of learning and figuring things out,  I gained some understanding and some real peace, and I didn’t react so strongly. I was able to detach, step back and see this. So, basically, we react to others when it’s really our own shit. Unless, of course, someone is just being a shit towards us, then we are reacting to that.

Beware Impossible Mountains

2. There’s many ways to climb a mountain. That means if you are sensitive and hate crowds, don’t think the only way to go out and teach is to lecture to large groups, and it’s the only way for you to be successful. If you hate doing networking luncheons, then network one-on-one through social media that’s more comfortable for you. I had a beautiful writer friend years ago who wrote children’s books. She was truly gifted with words. But the one thing that stopped her in her tracks of being truly successful was she didn’t want to do book signings. She was dreadfully shy and this was the kiss of death for her. Because of this, she didn’t pursue publishing her own children’s books to avoid that fate.

I had a similar experience when I starred in a television show years ago. I knew then I wanted to write and publish a book. I was told, that’s not how it works. “You have to BE somebody first.” I am a stubborn mule. That was too big a mountain to climb. I published my book anyway and I’m glad I did.

Is this the result I want?

3. We need to ask ourselves are my actions or behaviors giving me what I want? If I want connection, healing, resolve, love, understanding, is how I am acting bringing that about or is it bringing others further away from me? If you don’t feel heard, kindly ask someone to listen. If you are angry, let it out in a healthy way. If you need answers, go do some research and ask questions. Cruel/nasty/mean/angry result = cruel/nasty/mean/angry. Hate feeds hate. It’s a lose-lose situation, always.  I’ll never forget my Verizon phone company interaction. The first customer service rep was nasty towards me, so I got nasty. The second rep heard and understood me; validating my feelings. I softened and the interaction changed. There was a healthy resolve.

The hokey-pokey is not what it’s all about

4. I think we all just want to be loved and to love. Love and connection is what it is all about. A world without real, honest connection is one scary, dark, lonely place. Dogs are the greatest teacher of love. It’s hard to not feel loved when a giant puppy is licking your face. Now unconditional love is their majors in life and they have so much to teach us. It’s harder as humans a great deal of time to love like that but we are learning. And we also do need to look at what unconditional love is. It’s not allowing cruelty, especially towards ourselves.

You have every right to keep out what doesn’t feel safe

5. As sensitive people, a great deal of us didn’t learn this. We didn’t know how to create boundaries. We felt we weren’t allowed to. But this is a big one. And you can leave situations that don’t feel safe and people who don’t hear you, or at least create boundaries around those. Lots of times folks write me here asking about spirits that bother them or scary situations, and it’s the same with living people. I used to walk the girls pass one house on my street with two dogs that had no fence. The one dog was a loving, loopy kind of being who in her enthusiasm knocked over elderly Sarah. I didn’t appreciate that nor did Sarah. The other dog, a puppy, was aggressive. She’d zip into the street and bare teeth at Emma. After two times of this, I had a long scream at the dog, which I’m sure the whole neighborhood heard. “No! Unacceptable!” I told her. And the puppy ran back into her house. I then had a long talk with her person. We have a right not to be bullied in our environment. My one friend has a very sweet angel group online. She’s a gentle, kind creature whose whole purpose in life is to help others. She was recently attacked cruelly on her own site by a man who didn’t believe in what she did. He clearly needed to go somewhere else then, where he belonged, but she had every right to block him from that group. And if you are in an environment that doesn’t keep you safe, doesn’t respect the rights or well-being of its members, get out of that environment. It won’t change.

And finally, avoid what feels like an uphill climb

Sometimes, we do need to fight a good fight and keep going. We may be fighting an injustice or we don’t want to give up on our talents, and shouldn’t. But there are other times we are straining, trying, putting out a lot of energy, and it means we are going against the current made for us. We aren’t getting enough support either to help us or to back what we are doing. This causes such a strong fatigue that fills your bones. Believe me, I know. Those are the times to step back and regroup. Follow what does give you energy and where there is support. That’s your bread crumbs for the new direction. Oh, and learn from me. Drowning in resentment over lack of support, really, really doesn’t work. Don’t get stuck there.

Can you relate to these? What have you been learning?

*apologies to those who don’t appreciate cursing or the word “shit,” as I am originally from Jersey and we all learn that word while learning how to drive and that word is perfect for what I am describing

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And speaking of support, if this writing post has helped you, consider buying my HELP I’M SENSITIVE book, or FAIRY ONLINE SCHOOL written classes. I am also busy completing the sequels to that book. Keep posted on developments, by SUBSCRIBING TO THIS SITE.  

Sometimes, things may be hopeless and you need to grieve. When Sarah got sick, I knew in my gut, this wasn’t something I could heal in anyway. She was very old after all, and the diagnosis was bad. It was time. You can feel that energy of endings, and you just submit to it.

Then there’s the miracles.

Whenever my friends are facing hopeless situations, I tell them about Cowboy Dave.

Years ago, during the time everyone had crazy adjustable mortgages, when the housing crisis occurred, we were faced with the challenge of selling our beloved home. We’d be there for four years, and truly loved it, but we felt stuck in an ever-expanding payment that was growing unreasonable. To make matters worst, my husband quit a job he truly enjoyed, but he had to make a tough decision, because he was being treated so horribly and unfairly at work, he felt he had no choice.

We went through what most folks had to go through–the awful feeling of threatening letters coming in the mail, and the overwhelming worry about losing our home. We decided to try and sell our home and went through two different realtors. Things were getting closer and closer to the wire where we were running out of time and the house would be in foreclosure.

Help arrived! A couple came to the door and handed us brochures. With smooth-butter voices they promised to take the house off our hands and hand us $10,000 to run away and start a new life. My head ached at the time, like it does when negativity is sqirming around me. I protested.

The wife’s smile turned into a straight line, and her fists gripped the couch. Her husband turned on his bully button. “You have no choice!” he yelled. He explained they were the only option and we were crazy to turn down this deal. “This is reality and how things are. You’ll walk away with nothing,” he shouted at us.

When they left, we felt bullied and destroyed. It was like a huge hole grew into the ground and we fell right down into it.

And I then got weird guidance.

We were to expect more. Expect miracles. We called the bully couple back and told them no. We were throwing ourselves into the mercy of God and the Universe. It was crazy and illogical.

Two days later, we got a phone call from the realtor. A man wanted to check out the house.

Cowboy Dave, we later affectionately called him, was another realtor from a different company. He was a little old man with a big cowboy hat and a smile that lit up the room. He let his buyer in and then explained to us that this man was given a long list of houses to consider and he pointed to ours. “This is the house I want,” he had said. He lovingly went room to room and the air popped with his excitement. We waited in anticipation for his decision.

Only a few days later, we got his offer. We made over $80,000 in our sale. This was at a time when the house crisis just began, and houses were not selling, much less for the asking price.

When I am feeling like a situation is looking beyond hopeless, I ask myself if it has that ending energy and I need to acquiesce and accept, or do I need to ask and wait for a Cowboy Dave moment.

what I DO like – my Girls

We are all trying to “find” ourselves underneath the masks, the mud, the shoulds…

I am discovering… that a very strong voice inside of me is emerging. It’s vocal right now, and it’s loud.

We all have that voice. It’s our soul, sometimes whispering, sometimes screaming. And screaming can be through our bodies’ cries of illness or  through the complaints from our rebellious spirit.

I am discovering…that there are a lot of things I should like that I really don’t like, and I’m tired of saying I like it. Perhaps you can relate. In no particular order here’s a small list:

1. I should like Twitter, but I don’t. It’s like a fast-moving escalator with everyone screaming at once with no real connection to each other. Sometimes, there is a voice that comes through the madness you can hear but it’s like finding someone waving in a crowd in an airport. That’s too much work to find them. I also hate new followers that already have 300,000 followers and don’t give a crap who I am or what I do. 
2. Many vegetables. I eat broccoli, but it doesn’t taste great. I only like green beans that come in the can and have salt in them. I do like salads because you can add all kinds of yummy things to them and they are interesting visually.
3. Being friendly to people I don’t like. I have come to the conclusion from age and experience that you don’t need to be nice to mean or jerky people. They don’t understand it and they don’t appreciate it. Often, being nice is an invitation for them to take advantage of you.
4. Cleaning.
5. Parties. I HATE small talk. I bore easily which is probably not a good trait. I like to talk about things in depth or hear people’s stories.
6. Okay, I don’t like hearing stories about health issues. Really don’t like that. I am visual and empathic so I don’t need to hear about your last stay in the hospital where they cut into your stomach and ripped out all the bloody parts.
7. Insensitive sensitive people. These folks may not be truly sensitive, or maybe they are and they become so hardened to protect themselves they have become the insensitive people who say ridiculously insensitive stuff that comes out of their mouths like projectile vomit.
8. Surrender. It’s probably the definition I don’t like that is incorrect. And there’s lots attached to it including TRUST, but when you’ve trusted and it went horribly wrong, it’s super hard to do. Goes along with the one line I hate more than anything, “God only gives you what you can handle.” Bull poopy. The biggest bull poopy I’ve ever read. Then you feel guilty you are strong.
9. I always bitch about this. I was even thinking about making a weekly post of spiritual sayings I found that don’t really say anything, or worse, are unrealistic. They usually fall into the category of “don’t worry and just be calm and at peace even though your house is on fire,” or “think and be like a monk even though you have bills to pay and a ton of responsibilities.”
10. And finally, I’m supposed to like Facebook Biz pages…

I bitched the other day here about Facebook and ended up in the New York Times Small Business page “freeing myself from Facebook”. I think my rebellious, inner spirit called out to the rebellious spirit of the writer of that page. It was an interesting nod from the Universe/God that it’s okay for me to object to things I “should” like because everyone else says I should like it. It’s even okay to be negative! Wow, what a spiritual concept! It’s freeing. It’s empowering. Because by doing so, you walk your own path, and you learn who you are under all the mud.

it could be the solar flares….

it could be the planets…

it could be the new energies…

it could be the chemtrails…

it could be I’m picking up what is happening in China right at this second…

it could be a spirit attachment…

Nope…

I just didn’t sleep last night from the Girls waking me up.

And sometimes, that’s all it is.

I had to get off Facebook for awhile…

After the tragedy of the elementary school shooting, I couldn’t even bear to feel. But it was the nonsense that followed that I couldn’t let into my system anymore.

I’m going through a disillusionment period, which I think most of us are. Spiritual leaders I used to admire I am looking at with a new eye. Everyone is fighting over politics, issues and now gun control. Many of my own buttons and wounds were pushed because I do understand very much how someone can come into your life with untreated mental illness and destroy everything, so I am sure, I am feeling that backlash. And all the 2012 channelings and spiritual teachers talking of how on the 21st it will be a new dawn and we will be enlightened, etc., started to really piss me off with its lack of real information. It felt like it was all pulling back the curtains and revealing the wizard pulling a bunch of strings.

Is the darkness getting darker and fighting because we are bringing in so much light? Ask anyone who has been through trauma in their life and they will tell you they’ve seen darkness and it’s been around a long, long time. 9/11 happened quite a long time ago and destroyed many people’s lives. When I really thought about it, I saw a clearer picture. What if instead, many of us are waking up? That means we are getting it, seeing it, and instead mindlessly accepting all this madness we are speaking up and speaking out. And we were the silent few, so lots of folks want us to be silent again.

One of my favorite movies is Pleasantville. It’s about a fictional television town that is exposed to real people and starts to wake up. They are all in black and white and they become “in color.” That’s us. There’s always been corrupt politicians, democrat vs. republican fighting, traditional vs. non-traditional thinking and values, and evil vs. good. It’s the yin and the yang. If we wanted all good we would have stayed with God in heaven where it was all flowers and light and endless cupcakes. We miss that terribly. But we agreed to come down here to earth to experience that dichotomy. Call it the ego or the personality, but it’s a big part of being human and we need to accept that. When you are in a body it comes with the territory. It goes along with having to pee and eat. We wanted to learn and boy, are we ever. Probably a little more than we intended, so we are feeling rather uncomfortable.

So, no, the darkness isn’t getting darker, we’re just exposing it and bringing it out from under the table. We’re talking about it. We’re trying to heal it. We’re trying to bring in more balance. I like the idea that bringing in more light is about bringing in more knowledge and awareness. We’re being educated. And the spiritual leaders? They are trying to define it: like the rest of us, most are just trying to find an explanation for the madness and for things that don’t make any sense at all in this crazy earth plane.

*And empaths, limit your news exposure. You don’t need to tune in and carry the pain of the families in the tragedy. It’s too much for even one person to bear.

*Check out the book WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE by Harold Kushner

Screening of The Lesson of the Blue Tree will be here 12/12! Bring your virtual popcorn and enjoy!

Often, this is the question I get the most with students and other people. I even found an old email I gratefully missed seeing berating me for claiming that I could talk to my departed mother. How do I answer that?

For one thing, yes, I can talk to animals and feel spirits. The spirits more like drop in and out on occasion. I can’t conjure up. It’s more like having someone call you up on the telephone. I’m not delusional, I’ve been relatively grounded, and I’m psychologically sound even though life has really roughed me up a bit, and I’ve concluded that it was that “roughing up” that allowed me to hear or see.

Here’s one of my theories

Many of the friends I have that are truly “psychic,” which is really aware of other dimensions, or simply, what’s beyond THIS, have had in their life some kind of experience that caused them to pop out of their bodies from some kind of trauma. During that popping out they noticed “hey, there’s something else here.” No, they didn’t go into the devil’s world, which at least, I hope not. When I was a kid, I had such chronic pain that it was an easy thing to just pop out and hang out on the ceiling then feel that pain all the time (by the way, animals do this.) I was already very empathic, just like mother, and I think that’s how–the popping out–was why I also able to readily hear guidance.

Some folks need their worlds to fall apart to experience that there’s more then what’s here. GRIEF can open you up completely or…shut you down. That’s one big reason you can’t hear your loved one or your departed dog. There isn’t a thing you did wrong or something wrong with you. What I know from experience is when I am very upset and angry at the world, I can’t access any guidance. I feel cut off and stranded. I think with grief, you’re in a protective mode. You need to be insulated so you can heal. And then later on, you can hear or feel and connect to loved ones.

Some folks have had trauma and hurt early on and have always been shut down. It’s safer that way when the world is an unsafe place. But if you asked them, they will recall little signs that happened in their lives that showed them they were watched over, if they are willing to see it.

Lots of people could hear and see when they were children. But as they grew up and life got hard, they forgotten this.

Some folks are very left-brained and they experience the world solely from the mind, and therefore, won’t hear or see. (They need to rent movies like DRAGONFLY.) That’s not their path to hear.

Don’t Push

When I hear students say this, I always question if they are pushing or trying to hear/feel. That always shuts things down. Then your mind comes in and takes over. They are almost always missing the SUBTLE signs of communication and dismissing it as nothing, but it’s there. They are feeling hugged (those goosebumps out of nowhere), having songs come into their heads out of nowhere, seeing a shadow run across the room or a blink of light. That’s the communication! It doesn’t have to be a full-blown ghost giving a six page message. That’s just television! And always with their animals, they just need validation that they are already picking up a ton of information from their animals. How can they not? They are so connected to them.

I’ve always thought like a scientist. I need proof to believe and I need to experience it. Most folks are like that. So, if they don’t experience it or see it, why would they believe it? And the interesting thing is, when you have lots of experiences and you start to believe, the experiences increase.

No, I’m not special at all because I pick up things from spirits or know what dogs feel and think. I actually curse it sometimes when I have headaches from it and overload all the time, and pick up psychically what I really don’t want to or is helpful to me. I really don’t appreciate when people think I’m nuts. I don’t hear all the time, either, by the way. Sometimes, I stare at my dogs wondering what they want and can’t hear anything at all. Being sensitive can be a really big hindrance in my life, especially in my relationships, but it’s also a gift that can help others (I get to write about it.) And there are many out there who totally relate to this, who often come here.

Just Keep the Gate Open

The big thing is, if you are missing or grieving someone and you can’t feel or hear them, it doesn’t mean they have abandoned you or there’s no after-life, or worse, everyone who can is crazy. Right now, in this moment, you can’t. It’s not forever, and maybe there’s a reason, like I mentioned before. Instead, just leave that door open to possibility. That’s all you need for the world to surprise you. And boy, will it.

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If you are interested in developing your abilities to hear/see/feel, sign up for Fairy Online School to get help and info, which starts September 21st.

Beauty says,

“Support should always lighten your load, not add to it.”

from the FAIRY TOOLS CLASS starts September 21

from the TAG101 class Starts September 21st

Designing Fairy mouths off…

I’ve been pondering a lot of messages floating about on the internet and social groups lately. Even my old church promoted just loving everyone and seeing their higher selves. I think that is an excellent idea, but there needs to be disclaimers with these types of messages.

Do you love the person who is abusive to you? Just smile and see their higher self? What about the jerk pushing over your boundaries and walking right through them? Some of this line of love thinking feels very hippy-I’m-high-on-something kind of crap when I am encountering these kind of individuals, so I am guessing, that’s where my anger comes in.

Here’s my advice: yes, love them. See their higher selves and RUN! I mean frickin’ run for that damn exit. Let them bother someone else then, and run past their boundaries and treat them like crap. Honey, I am not going to sit there and see the good they could possibly be, or that they are souls just like me underneath. Yes, so true, but right now they are toxic to me and I’m going to RUN!

I think the bottom line under all of that teaching about love is, do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to want to be surrounded by people who really care about your feelings and needs, and truly care about your boundaries? Do they hear you when you speak about your concerns, or, do they act like they hear you, but then trample over you anyway? Do you love yourself enough to not be abused by someone else’s bad behavior, that you might understand underneath why they are acting the way they are, but right now you will keep yourself safe and out of the line of fire?

So, yes, it is all about LOVE. Just love you, and love them enough to let them learn their own lessons, but far over there.

Follow me as we pack our bags and head on over to Australia again! It’s the lovely and very wise Monique Williams and her blog and coaching site. Monique addresses Tip and Tool #49 and she does it beautifully.

http://moniquetwilliams.com/2012/03/01/a-tip-for-the-sensitive-just-walk-away/

Did you order a copy of your book yet? You can get the book right here from the Author!

I recently had a really wild dream that my bed was outside (probably my desire to live in Indian Gardens). It was a comfortable brass post bed, but I looked down to find I was surrounded by weeds all around me. I started pulling them in exasperation, but then I noticed I had pulled out a few daisies–that which I love!

I was talking to Bill the other day about this dream and we both nodded our heads in confusion.I figured it was telling me that maybe I wouldn’t like living outdoors after all. But I had the real meaning of the dream all along.

Here’s the funny part…reading an old post and lesson I had written about being thrown off by negative beliefs and planted bad seeds that looked like weeds, I had my light bulb moment! How funny my own lessons would make it into dreams to teach me again. And, what a good reminder and warning that what I was feeling was those bad weeds overtaking the yard and I was not only ignoring the precious buds coming up, but I had pulled them mistakenly out of the ground!

Cool, huh?

(I reposted that lesson below.)

Last post, I talked about finding the right puzzle for your piece–your right fit. After I wrote that entry, I had instant validation that Prescott was indeed not the right fit for me at the time. I had sent out an announcement to my one email list about my book.  An old acquaintance accidently forwarded to me a note she wrote to another friend. I obviously wasn’t supposed to get that email. She mentioned she did think I was nice gal and to check out my book, but thought I was “very flightly” at the time. Ouch! She didn’t see me back then. I’m not sure anyone in that town did. But to be fair, I was experiencing major upheaval at the time.

Sometimes, what once fit can become a lousy fit when we grow and change. How do you know you are ready to let go of something? I’ll share my feelings with my recent decision to leave a group I had belonged to.

Stage one: a growing “icky” feeling that something isn’t right.

Stage two: annoyance sets in. What once felt joyful feels heavy and uncomfortable.You might have bad experiences where you once had positive ones.

Stage three: You notice they don’t perceive things like you do, even when things seem very obvious. They don’t hear you. You have that “stuck in the cocoon too long” feeling and want to burst forth into a butterfly. Bad experiences increase or arguments. What you are noticing is your needs aren’t being met or honored.

Stage four: Crucial point:  you are either able to clear things up with with communication, and the community/group/job or friend  is able and willing to  change and grow alongside you. You will notice this because you feel heard. They show signs of learning and understanding. They get it. You get it. Beautiful! Stop here at Stage four. This puzzle still fits. 

Or, you will feel seriously uncomfortable, maybe even argumentative. They have no idea what you are talking about or maybe even that there is a problem. They aren’t ready for change, but you are. Resist the overwhelming need to teach them.  They aren’t ready.  They are happy where they are at. Joy is absent altogether at this point.

Stage five: the whack on the head. Your soul is pisssed you aren’t listening if you are still there. You may feel sick, or upset all the time. You might have free-flowing anxiety or anger. You try to make it work. Things will be made obvious it’s time to move on to a better fit.

Stage six: hopefully,  lesson is finally learned. It just became the wrong puzzle. Allow grief for the loss. Time to find a new puzzle you  fit into perfectly.

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I was guided this weekend to head over to my local Goodwill shop. Now this wasn’t twisting my arm, because I LOVE that store treasure-hunting. Their book selections are hit or miss and I was grateful I landed on a day that was a HIT. Apparently, someone who is into psychic communication and other forms of healing cleaned out their bookshelf. I found several books that would assist me in what I want to teach right now including color healing and a few books on boundary setting, which is perfect for those that are sensitive.

The book on boundaries, Boundaries with Relationships by Charles T. Whitfield,  has some excellent tools, but perusing through it, I noticed I didn’t feel as excited as I did when I was reading the color healing books. Was the info bringing up too much upset? I could feel a ton of anger rise from inside of me from the many times I allowed others to trample or ignore my boundaries. I also felt a little slimed; even negative. What was happening?

I slept on it. No, literally. Woke up this morning and the book was under my butt, as well as my glasses that looked a little mushed out of place. Perhaps I was integrating the material more. But I also had a new awareness of why I felt uncomfortable. Many self help books are designed to package a set of tools. There are some good ones out there that present them well. After reading this one, I felt labeled, “bad,” (and there were plenty of examples given of what is good and what is bad). Crap, everyone has acted the bad part. Talk about unattainable.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some excellent parts of the book also, but the slimey feeling was what I wanted to look at.

Guidance this morning was very clear: Focus on the solution and you feel empowered. Focus on the problem, and you are stuck IN the problem.

I see this when folks post videos or comments about what is happening that is wrong on this planet, whether genetically-altered food or bad politics. Hearing that news is like hearing about a case of animal abuse. I am left feeling upset, angry, and helpless against the problem. Helpless = slimed.

I like books and teaching that do not keep me stuck in a label, but helps me get out of that hole into a new role. I’m really digging Julia Cameron’s book, Prosperous Heart right now. I concluded that she teaches like how I want to, by story, and then by supplying a tool to help you empower yourself or shift your thinking. In her exercises, I focus on what I want and I feel hopeful and excited, versus what is not working. I don’t look at lack of abundance, but about what I want to create and the small doable steps. It is important to go back to the past for answers and beliefs that don’t work for you, but I sure don’t want to stay there. Reading her book, I am not labeled BAD because I SHOULD have more if I was just doing the SECRET right. I think I had the same reaction to that line of thinking while reading  the Boundaries book. There are enormous amounts of labels, time periods for how long it would take for when I was ‘better,” and most everyone I know are moving very fast right now in their healing beyond any so-called timetables. No one heals when they are stuck under a label, especially when they stay in their pain.

Perhaps it is my upbringing that is the button being pressed here. We were raised with psychology night and day. My father is a psychologist, my mother was a social worker. We were punished or admonished by psychological terms and labels. I would have preferred just being yelled at. Either way, what it produced in me at the time was a sense of dis-empowering; it was just another way to feel shame. I suppose it has the same effect as different educational programs that “weed” out people so only the strong can survive. I went to one design program that set impossible expectations and deadlines and gave out ample criticism. I walked a

Like most of us that write or teach, I usually am learning what I need to share that week. With all this great lunar energy has come some good lessons and lots of insight. The lessons being learned haven’t been all too comfortable but big.

Yesterday I had a cranky or nasty fairy attack. I don’t have a great deal of patience as it is, but I was feeling super-impatient with others.

I went to Unity church yesterday feeling good and relaxed and found myself halfway through the morning cranky, drained and wanting to sleep. Keep in mind that the room was warm and even the Rev. complained that there were a few who were yawning through his lesson.

I concluded that I was picking up some nasty stuff including the general mood in the room of malaise. I did have a cranky encounter with one friend , who was being super-critical, and another who felt demanding to me because he was miffed I gave him the cold shoulder, so I figured I was picking up their stuff coming at me. That made logical sense and would explain my mood and energy drain.

Being an empath, which I am sure you can relate to, we can often pick up other folks’ stuff unknowingly even if they are thinking about us from far away. Discerning who and what it is you are picking up is crucial detective work. But what if what’s really happening is someone else’s SH*T is triggering your SH*T?

After a good night’s sleep asking for guidance, I realized that is exactly what occurred. Yes, I picked up on the mood of the room, but it was my interactions with my friends’ stuff that got me reeling and upset. ANGER is a great indicator that someone has blasted through your boundaries, which is a little of what had happened. But with new insight I realized that the big issue I had been working on from my past was being mirrored in their behavior towards me. They had just given me little clues.

When I woke up, I made a list of those behaviors that really peeved me and I could see there was a pattern developing. I continually got very upset when someone else demands of me with no regard to my needs, or is controlling and forceful while trampling my boundaries. This pattern was one that I grew up with and I probably wasn’t aware consciously that it upset me so much back then, but it stayed buried inside me until others push those specific buttons.

What I learned from this experience is not only that sometimes it isn’t empathic feeling I am picking up but those trigger buttons, but I also noticed that there isn’t a pat answer or explanation for every experience we have. If I had stopped there, and concluded that I was just sponging off someone’s feelings, or someone was psychic attacking me, or even that “bad spirits” were draining me, or, that I wasn’t “loving enough and they were only mirrors,”  I wouldn’t have gotten to the meat of that particular situation. That is one big thing I have against some new age or spiritual teachings. Every story is different, and that means different answers and different solutions. Blanket answers like “it’s all just fear or love,” may be true at the core, but doesn’t give real world day to day conclusions. Nor is “just love others” when the human relationship is so complex with all our stuff bouncing off each other! And I don’t know about you, but when someone tramples my boundaries or is abusive to me, just throwing love their way when I am supposed to be speaking up for myself and screaming NO! is not my answer.

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