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I still maintain that the blogger's post was bigotted, defined as: one who regards or treats the members of a group with hatred and intolerance.

But yeah, at least she apologized and is maybe realizing the error of her ways.

I don't think anyone is denying that being obese is unhealthy (although I did see a news show once that highlighted medically obese people who WERE considered healthy by doctors, but for whatever reason stayed at their same weight). But imagine you're of that percentage of obese people who are truly unable to lose weight for whatever legit medical reason. And you're still treated with that same disgust, and not just disgust, but blame. You are blamed for your condition. Yes, perhaps that's a small percent of obese people in the world, but it still exists.

And regardless of whether or not it IS something that is somewhat in your control, nobody deserves to be told that seeing you simply WALK ACROSS THE ROOM disgusts her. That is hateful. It shouldn't be said. If you don't call it bigotry, then call it being a bully.

And I still maintain that people of all shapes, sizes, and colors should be depicted positively in our media. Because the shape of a person doesn't reflect the worth of a person.

Anyway, I guess we'll just agree to disagree.

I don't disagree with you that the part of what she said about being disgusted was way overboard and uncalled for and yes, hateful. I think she realized what she said was wrong. You know in the world of blogs people get carried away to get attention. I'm guilty of this myself. Also, yes, what's inside is what counts. I'm %100 with you there as well. This is why most of the time I don't notice what people look like at all. I'm only making this statement because I think the blogger had some valid points and those points needed to get across, maybe in a better way.

I have to disagree with some of your points as well Meghan. Diet, exercise, and struggles with weight are extremely personal and complicated issues, and not always a matter of motivation. Sometimes these things are a matter of genetics or health issues as you pointed out, but also of access to healthy, fresh food or education about food choices, particularly in cases of obesity in children. While obesity isn't an ethnicity like you said, there are cultural and environmental factors to consider. Then there is the fast food industry and how it has worked its way into all of our diets... just watch a movie like 'King Corn' or 'The World According to Montsanto' and its clear that we have fewer choices and less control over whats in our food than ever before. This is not to make excuses for people that make unhealthy choices, but sometimes those choices are not so clear cut and deserve a little empathy and compassion.

Anna, I agree with you that access to good foods is part of the problem. I KNOW that healthy food costs more because I have this debate every time I'm at the store--do I spend 3 more dollars for something healthy of go for the junk food? A lot of times I go for the junk food. I can't always afford to eat right myself! I wasn't saying that this isn't an issue. If you watch the video I posted you'll see how bad school foods can be. This is one thing that can be fixed.

And I'll be completely honest here: I really don't care what people do. Over eat, under eat. Be fat, be thin. I don't care. I was just trying to get a discussion going. But I do think shows like Mike and Molly are pretty stupid and that was kind of my point. I don't see why I should give empathy or compassion to a show that makes fun of fat people and then makes it look like it's all in support of them. It's just dumb. And I actually watched the show! Watch it before you make judgments.

What I do care about are kids who are overweight and are not encouraged to get out and run around and be kids. Too much using TV as a babysitter. I promise you that even if all they eat is a bunch of junk food if they get enough exercise they won't be obese.

Changes in food production and marketing have a huge part in the obesity epidemic -- it's not a coincidence that the percentage of overweight people in this country has skyrocketed in the last 30 years. We have not had a sweeping loss of willpower, here -- we have had sweeping societal changes in many areas that have formed a 'perfect storm' for obesity issues nationwide. Just start with what they serve kids on free lunch programs and go from there. Are the kids themselves to blame?

I would also just add that one of the great challenges for overweight people is that, unlike other addictions, you can't just stop eating. I'm not saying it's easy to break other addictions, but notice that most addiction programs advocate leaving the addictive substance behind FOREVER, because little samples now and then often lead to a very slippery slope. Food is a very powerful psychological and emotional addiction, and, for the addicted, every single meal leads the addict to the brink of that slippery slope. Is it any wonder that we fall off the wagon again and again?

All that aside, what offended me most about that blogger was her nasty, judgmental 'disgust' at seeing fat people walking around, kissing, or otherwise going about their lives just like everyone else. The kissing part, especially, got to me because so many people make that argument regarding queer relationships like mine. "Be different, just don't let 'normal' people see you" does not equal tolerance.

I'm not making any judgements about Mike and Molly since I haven't seen it, I don't think I'd like it either- it doesn't look like it treats weight issues with much sensitivity. But there is a lot more in your post besides commentary on that show, that is what I was responding to.

I have seen the Jamie Oliver show and was disturbed by how little kids and families knew about how to eat healthy. It made me very sad.

I think I got set off because I'm sick of insensitive comments about my own appearance. People think it's okay to pick on me because I'm "skinny." 'You're so skinny... you need to eat more." Or "You're so tall and lanky," Or "You need to put on more weight..." I get this ALL the time. I am SO sick of it! And of course the people who make these comments to me have weight issues. And it's not just me who gets this. My mom gets it from her coworkers too. She told me she was worried about her weight and needed to eat more (she eats like a dump truck). I asked why and she said her coworkers said she was too skinny. She'd been bike ridding all summer and lost a little weight - but she's in her 60s and looks great!

Yes, this is a rant. Yes, I am sorry. I just want people to know that thin people are sensitive to their appearance too and it's not nice to pick on them and tell them to eat more and call them "skinny."

I work out a lot. People who work out are going to be thin. So my issue isn’t with people eating too much or not right it’s with them not MOVING enough. Just don’t pick on me because I do!

Decades ago, shows with obese stars were popular. I think these shows now are a testing of the waters by the producers to see if they'll go over as in the past. I doubt that they will. Viewers today who are trying hard to stay trim will most likely see it as a de-valuing of their efforts. Goes without saying that obese folks with valid reasons for their condition are exempt from this comment.

BTW, POP arrived in the mail yesterday in time for Christmas!

While I'll always buy books by an author I like regardless of the publisher, from now on I'm going to try to buy mainly from publishers who accept unsolicited manuscripts. It's my way to reward their faith in undiscovered writers.

Please keep in mind that children cannot just join a gym or take charge of the food shopping or the meals they receive. If kids are overweight, you can assume that most factors contributing to their condition are usually too far out of their control to address effectively on their own, and you can also assume that they are likely the targets of painful teasing and bullying due to their size. I continue to think it is important that they "see themselves" in books. I also think it is equally important for thinner children and bullies or potential bullies to see larger children in books so they are less easy to objectify. Diversity isn't just for the benefit of a specific audience: it is the tide that can raise all the boats to a higher level. I was a naturally skinny kid [and I wasn't a bully], but the book BLUBBER very deeply effected me back in 5th grade. Most books I enjoyed for amusement, but BLUBBER stands out as making me really think about my views, behavior, choices and their effects in interacting with other children.

I agree that being overweight is a problem for many kids today. I don't agree that the primary cause is watching TV or playing video games. Those are contributing factors for many kids, sure. But there are many others including the changes in food production and marketing (portion size!) that people mention above, as well as many little things that add up to a lot less activity. For example, most kids didn't used to be bused to school, they walked. Even in the supremely walkable town where I grew up, many kids are bused because of redistricting and suburban sprawl and parental concern about kids walking. Many schools have cut phys ed waaaay back, kids have to pay to play school sports, and the schools sell sugary pops and candy bars and all kinds of crap right alongside the good stuff. There are so many snake oil sellers and "miracle" exercise gadgets and programs being marketed in the media that many people no longer understand the basic principles of metabolism...they think pills and gizmos will work miracles.

The pictures of obese people that you chose to illustrate your post are of hyper-morbidly obese people who are far outside the norms for the average overweight person. That seems a misleading choice at best, sensationalist and counterproductive at worst.

I agree with Alvina that the person who wrote she is digusted by watching fat people kiss is bigoted. Making the same comments about super skinny people would also be bigoted, but it's not very likely to happen or cause a ripple if it did because our media-driven society values extreme thinnness. Designers say they are merely meeting demand but I think that's a cop-out. They idolize the clothes hanger body type and create pseudo demand by failing to design beautiful clothing for average people and by failing to devote any editorial space to "regular" people.

My rant: I really hate it when these brouhahas happen and people start equating fat acceptance with promoting obesity. That's like conflating skinny acceptance with promoting anorexia.

Bottom line? This is a complex issue that won't be solved by shaming. As a scoiety, we need to start valuing health and fitness over appearance and we need to institutionalize that value in homes and schools and the media.

I posted the photos of those kids because those are the ones on shows like Oprah where the parent admits that they overfeed the children to death and there is no exercise involved. What my point is that for kids like that there should be no making excuses. It's not helpful to come up with a million reasons why they are like that. start trimming their portions and get them running around. They will lose weight.

I don't really have a problem with kids who are a little chubby or adults who are chubby. No big deal. I doubt that's a huge health risk per se. I'm talking about the people who wobble with a cane to walk (I've seen it plenty) and kids who are that big. They are an example of what could happen to everyone.

I just don't understand why everyone thinks of exercise as such an evil word/thing. Oh no, god forbid you work out! 30 min a day of cardio 4 times a week and you will lose weight! Doing some weight training wouldn't be bad either. Don't even worry about going on a diet. I don't think diets work. People just don't want to do it. I see people out of breath just walking up a flight of stairs to the subway. Sometimes they have to pause halfway before going all the way up. I mean come on. That's kind of sad.

On the topic of magazines and TV and why thin people continue to dominate: it's because that's what most people want to see. Do a poll. Ask around. No one wants to see joe-average with a beer gut showing off some clothes. They've done studies on what people find attractive and it's innate. That's never going to go away.

That's all I have to say on this topic. I give up on the whole thing. I'll continue to do what I do, which is 30 min of cardio and weight training and then people will continue to make comments that it's all just "natural" and I was born that way, which will continue to drive me nuts and that will be the end of that. I work with some one who is on a diet now. She lost weight for a little bit but then put it all back on. Big surprise. I asked why she won't consider working out and she just won't hear of it. Most people I know are pretty sedentary. I guess it's going to continue to be that way.

megahn

"People who work out are going to be thin"

Um, no. People who work out are going to be healthy, but that doesn't mean thin. I have a lot of friends who are extremely physically active, but aren't thin. They have very low body fat, but "skinny" and "thin" aren't words to describe them.

I also have lots of skinny and thin friends who don't work out and eat tons of crap.

But, my main problem with this post is that it blames the fat people. And many fat adults need a good kick in the pants, but the factors that goes into what children weigh are out of their control, but societal instinct to blame the fat people leads to ridicule and bullying, and is why we're seeing eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia start younger and younger.

Also, it doesn't take into account he socio-economic factors at play. Latino and African-American youth are more likely to be obese. They're also more likely to be urban poor.

It's great to say "these kids need to run around and play outside" but WHERE? In many of our inner cities, there is NO PLACE for them to run around play. I'm not even saying there's not a safe place, I'm just saying there isn't a place, safe or not.

It's great to say that they need to eat more fresh veggies and it's great to understand that that's more expensive but... in our inner cities, fresh and healthy food isn't just more expensive, it's just not there. Trying to buy fresh produce in the inner city is often impossible-- you need to take multiple buses to the rich part of town.

But, no, let's continue to blame the fat people and the fat kids. Because they're not trying hard enough.

Not sure how the "why everyone thinks of exercise as such an evil word/thing" response follows from my comment, Meghan. I, too, think people need more activity and listed several ways it has decreased. I think most people agree that exercise is a good idea. Is it hard? It can be, particularly if you haven't exercised regularly and are starting from a place of poor fitness. Exercise is not a panacea, however, particularly if one embraces an Atkins or low-carb, relatively high fat diet. You can be thin and muscled that way, but you can have clogged arteries and heart disease.

Your remarks about making excuses for obesity sound a little judgey, as do the "come on, that's just sad," and "Big surprise" remarks. Judgey because they reveal assumptions about what got that person into that situation -- an unfortunate human tendency you, as a sufferer of "not immmediately visible" illness, are probably well aware of. And yet, time and time again, it's okay for people to make these thoughtless statements about overweight people. This is prejudice. You make these offhand remarks in the same breath as saying you don't care if people are a little bit overweight. How benevolent of you.

As for designers giving us what we want...I call BS. You've apparently bought into the notion that it's impossible to photograph/dress/style people who are not rail-thin in ways that make them attractive to the average person. There is a whole range of body types between anoerexic-thin and beerguts...body types that include non-athlete body fat percentages and occasional lumps and rolls. Regular people look like that! When I say regular, I mean people who eat reasonable amounts and get a moderate amount of exercise. People's bodies change with age and experience and hormones. What the fashion industry promotes, by and large, is a pre-pubescent ideal of beauty. And I think that's sick, and it contributes to our unhealthy notions about bodies and physical well-being.

Hope Vestergaard -

great comments on this post. Your comments add a lot for me because they have the level of thinking and compassion [vs reaction or preaching] that we in the media need when making the important decisions we make about representing characters.

I was trying to get a conversation started and I guess I have! Unfortunately everyone now thinks I'm a narrow-minded bigot.

There is always more than one truth. My father has been physically active his whole life. He ran a marathon every year from his 20s- through his 50s. He had to have emergency surgery last year because EVERY artery going to his heart was clogged at least 80% or more. The doctors were amazed that he didn't have a heart attack. So yeah, thin in shape people can suffer the same stuff. I'm not saying that they can't! Although, as an interesting little side bit: when they did the surgery the surgeons found that my father's body had made its own bypasses around the clogged arteries. They said this happened because he was in such good shape. This is why he didn't have a heart attack.

Also, I heard a news report a while ago that said that overweight people live just as long healthy lives as thin people. Weight is not necessarily a factor said this one report. Perhaps I can find a news article on it.

Most of my family is pretty active and in good shape but my mom said that my aunt has always had trouble with her weight. Even when she walks a lot and watches what she eats she still isn't at the weight she would like to be. I KNOW some people just keep more weight on than others. If I didn't exercise I wouldn't as thin as I am now but I wouldn't be overweight either. I'm blessed with good genetics in this way (not in other ways obviously).

I was playing the devil's advocate somewhat because I wanted to start a conversation. I do that sometimes and it usually gets people pissed off. I hope I don't start getting hate mail!

But as far as inner cities and fresh eating, I have to disagree. I've lived in NYC for 9 years and I've been to some rough neighborhoods. Everywhere I go there is a deli with a cart outside with vegetables. So I have to disagree that they're hard to find! And every weekday in Union Sq there is a fresh market: vendors come from outside the city with fresh produce of all kinds. I won't speak for other cities but NYC is doing okay.