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Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: Halloween Town, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 1 - 13 of 13
1. Halloween Short Story: The Trouble with Smartphones

Eva-Green-Witchy-Woman-vanity-fair-21315720-460-318
Ana’s niece went through men like vampires went through bags of blood. Ana would know; her immorality spanned centuries. She and her “family” had a strange arrangement. She shared the wealthy Bauer bloodline but was the only immortal in the clan. The rest of the Bauers came and went, generation after generation; yet, each generation accepted her. Each generation understood what she was and welcomed her. She was often invited to Christmas, birthday parties, and celebrity balls. However, Ana kept her distance—until Mary was born.

Mary was born on Ana’s own human birthday, June sixth. As soon as Ana met the child, there was a connection, and as years passed, she became the “favorite auntie.” Ana was the one Mary went to with her dirty secrets. As a child, those secrets included stolen candy from the grocery store. As a teen, stolen alcohol and messy make-outs with boys at debutante balls.

Although Ana lived in New York—Mary and her rich parents in Boston—they kept in touch over the phone. Then came things like smartphones and Skype, and it was when Mary turned twenty-one that the name Ethan first entered their lengthy conversations.

“I’m seeing someone, auntie.”

Ana had her smartphone leaned against the vanity; made it easier to pretend dear Mary was in the room with her while she sat in her New York flat, upper East Side, sipping a glass of iced blood. She brushed her long, black hair in the mirror and sighed.

“I saw that,” Mary said.

“You’re always seeing someone, dear.” Ana glanced at her young niece, already curled up in bed, staring back through her own smartphone camera.

“This is different.” Mary pouted; her voice whined. No matter her age, she still sounded like a sixteen-year-old. She was a woman, true; a very intelligent woman who would, in the fall, return to school at Brown where she studied psychology. Yet, Mary could never escape the cheerleader she once was, thanks to her Minnie Mouse voice and bright, blond hair.

“Who is he?”

There was a long pause on the line.

“Mary?” Ana looked at the smartphone screen, and Mary’s eyes crinkled around the edges.

Her voice lowered to a whisper. “It’s a secret, and you can’t tell anyone.”

“I’ve never told your parents a single secret.”

“I know. I know. But I think I’m in love.”

“Well. Who is he?” Ana asked.

“His name is Ethan.”

“Ethan?” Ana picked up her phone so she could fully focus on her niece. “Does he have a last name?”

“Prince.”

“Is he a prince?”

Ana watched Mary’s flawless face smile. “I wish. Would make things a lot easier.”

“He’s not homeless, is he? A drug addict?”

Mary shook her head, and her voice sunk even lower. “He’s the chauffeur’s son.”

“Mary Elizabeth Bauer!”

“Shhh!” She looked around, as if sound traveled in the castle the Bauer family called a home.

“That’s not love; it’s a fling.”

“Ethan is not a fling.”

Ana shook her head and chuckled. If Mary’s father knew … “How long has this been going on?”

Mary shifted in her bed, laid down on her stomach and rested on her elbows. “A couple months.”

“A couple months hardly does love make.”

“I want you to meet him.”

“Darling, you know I don’t meet your beaus. It’s too much energy to explain who I am and why I’ve been alive since before electricity and running water.”

“I already told him about you.”

Panic welled in Ana’s chest. “What?”

“He knows what you are, and he’s fine with it.”

“Mary.” Ana stood up. “You promised never to tell anyone about me.”

“But this is the man I love.”

Ana paced the luxurious interior of her apartment. Then, a buzz from the front door: blood bag delivery. “Mary, I have to go.”

“I want to talk more about this.”

Ana looked down at her phone, and her beautiful, intelligent, man-eating young niece looked concerned. “We shall, but do not be a fool. Do not tell the chauffeur’s son anything else about me, and do not get caught schtooping in your parents’ home.” She paused and noticed Mary’s sad face. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you, too.”

Ana ended their call. She felt shaky; she finished the glass of blood on her vanity just as a text message arrived: from Mary, of course—a covert photo caught as a man slept in what was obviously Mary’s king-sized bed. He reminded her of Byron, a poet Ana once knew long ago: wild, black curls of hair; pale skin; and a long, faultless neck.

For the first time, Ana saw Ethan.

***

Over the next few weeks, Ana and Mary rarely spoke. Mary was busy back at school; Ana was planning an extensive tour of Europe, her home country. There were more photos of Ethan, some with Mary included, his arm around her, her lips on his face. The first video arrived early the week before Ana’s trip.

Shaky at first, Ana soon recognized Mary’s dorm room at Brown. The vantage point was from Mary’s bed, and for the first time, Ana saw Ethan in motion. He stood across the room and looked into the full-length mirror Mary kept against the wall. He wore a black suit, and he was much taller than previous photos foreshadowed.

“Tell me you love me, babe,” said Mary’s disembodied voice.

“I love you,” he said.

“Tell me again.”

At this, he glanced back at the camera. “Mary, I’ll be late.” He stood and faced her, trying to tie his tie.

The camera shook some more, danced even, as Mary got closer to Ethan. Ana could picture her, kneeing her way to the base of her bed. “Tell me again.”

“I love you,” he said. He smiled—a lovely smile that revealed matching dimples.

“Again.”

His fingers stopped fiddling with the tie, and he got so close to the camera, his face went out of focus.

It was obvious Mary had trouble keeping hold of her phone, but she giggled when the video went sideways, as she was tackled on her own bed. Soon, all Ana could see were figments of Ethan’s black suit. Then, the video stopped.

***

sex dreams
Ana found herself dreaming of Ethan. She had but fleeting images of him, from Mary’s photos and occasional videos. She found herself fixated on his neck and his hands. Thanks to a recent conversation, Ana knew Ethan was older—twenty-nine. Was a lawyer. Attended Harvard on full scholarship. All these details danced around his neck, his hands—the things his hands could do to Ana, the things she could do to his neck.

She woke up embarrassed, sweating. She showered after these dreams, guilty for using Ethan’s image this way—guilty for stealing from Mary. What would her niece think if Ana told her about the dreams? Would the pictures stop coming—the videos? But Ana needed both; they had become her only joy. She jumped at every new message from her niece and was disappointed when statements were general, like “Ethan bought me roses!” Ana wanted more pictures of his face. She wanted the sound of his voice.

One night, Ana could not sleep, obsessed with Ethan and the way he might smell. Did he wear cologne? Or did he smell simply of blood and skin? She knew then how much trouble Ethan was in—how broken Mary would be if Ana’s fantasies continued, so she forced herself to stop thinking of him, even deleting Mary’s media messages before being opened.

And Ana would have survived without him, Ethan, if not for Mary’s untimely death.

***

A wolf on the campus of Brown University? Suspicious, but then again, the wolf was escaped from the zoo. Of course Ana knew all this was a careful smokescreen, fanned to flame by Mary’s own parents. The existence of vampires was not generally accepted; therefore, admitting that a vampire had killed their daughter would put into question the Bauer sanity and the Bauer estate.

Ana stood on the edge of the cemetery and watched her niece’s ivory box lowered into the dark green grass. They had spoken but five nights before—the last time they would speak—and of course, the conversation was about Ethan, although Ana brought things round to school and family and future plans—of which, for Mary, there would be none.

Ana watched her human family, earned glances from but a few because only a choice few knew of her existence, those being Mary’s parents and a few old uncles, cousins. Ethan wasn’t there. But then, he was, away from the casket, away from the cold hole in the ground. She saw his hair first: that unruly mop of black. Then, his eyes: frigid, cold blue, ice. She put her arms around herself to shield his chill.

He was broken, very broken, but since his affair with Mary had been secret, only Ana knew why.

A luncheon was thrown afterward, in honor of Mary. Ana knew her niece would have hated the event: all somber faces, black suits. Mary would have much preferred a celebration, covered in pinks and baby blues.

Ana moved through the crowd, through the immense ballroom of the Bauer mansion, and past the disgusting smell of human food. She disappeared to the empty servant’s quarters, where she knew, thanks to Mary, of a secret entrance to her niece’s bedroom—the entrance only Ethan ever used.

Ana could still smell Mary when she entered: like flowers and sweet spice. Even though the bed was made, the room clean, she smelled something else, too: sex. She smelled the buttery scent of sex and something male. Cologne. The cologne could only belong to him.

The mournful auntie ran her fingertips over her niece’s hairbrush on the vanity. She touched stacks of psychology textbooks. She caressed a dress, tossed over the back of a wooden rocking chair. All so cold with Mary gone, killed by some monster, some blood-sucker who knew the Bauer family history—probably knew Ana.

Then, the door behind her opened. The cologne was more prevalent, as was the poisonous smell of cigarettes. “She didn’t tell me you smoked,” Ana said and turned to find Ethan, half revealed behind the secret door to Mary’s room.

“I don’t. Usually,” he said, alive, not on camera, his flesh right in front of her.

Ana stood at full height and looked at him. She pulled her small, black velvet jacket tighter around her small shoulders. She made a show of brushing a piece of lint from the edge of her dark red, floor-length dress. “Did you want to be alone in here?”

“No.” He shook his head, took a step, and closed the door behind him. He stood with his hands in his pockets, seemingly unsure of himself, although he’d never looked that way on Ana’s smartphone screen.

Ana’s boots made loud taps as she walked toward him. She removed her leather glove and touched his hair, pushed a piece behind his ear. A line of goosebumps began at her fingers and moved up to her shoulder, over her chest. “You’re more handsome in person.”

The side of his mouth turned up. He looked at the floor.

“Am I the only one who knew? About you and Mary?”

He nodded, but as he nodded, a salty tear fell down his face. She wanted to lick it off, but instead, she pulled him into her embrace and put her hand on the back of his head. He leaned against her. He held her in the vice of his long arms and shook in silence as the pain of his loss soaked her shoulder.

“Shh,” she said. Her fingers ran down the back of his neck. “Shhh.”

“Do you know who did this?” he said.

“I have my suspicions.”

“Was it one of you?”

“I believe so,” she said, and he tore himself away from her.

“Why? Why would one of your kind kill Mary?”

Ana shook her head.

Ethan stopped in his pacing, and his eyes found her, his gaze just as chilled as the cemetery. “Is it because of you?”

“Yes,” she said.

He was out of breath, she could see, when he said, “God, I wish I could …”

“Hurt me?”

The expression on his face told her he didn’t mean it, not really, but she could hear the blood pumping through his veins. His anger was like a hot breeze through the room.

“I’m hurting enough,” Ana said.

“How will you find who did this?”

“There are places to go,” she said. She looked away from him to hide the added rouge to her mouth and cheeks. She realized coming to the funeral was a mistake; being alone with Ethan, a mistake. He was too close, and she wanted him too badly. The scent of his blood now filled the room as smoke fills a chimney, and Ana wanted him right there on her dead niece’s bed.

“Take me with you.”

“No,” she said.

“I’ll find the killer, with or without your help.”

“No, you won’t,” she said to the window that overlooked a lush, green backyard with a maze in the middle.

“Stop me,” he said.

“I can stop you.” The quietness of her tone made the words all the more menacing, but when she gave him another look, Ethan was not afraid of her. He carried the same blind trust as her niece. Even though Ana was a monster, they believed her incapable of hurting people she loved, and by proxy, the people they loved.

“I’ll go out tonight,” she said. “You can come by my hotel room in the morning.” Then, she used speed no human could see. She grasped his chin, and he jumped backwards at her unexpected touch. He knocked into the vanity, and Mary’s gilded brush fell to the wood floor at their feet. “If I sense you anywhere near me tonight,” she said, “I will lock you where no one can find you until this is over. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” His voice shook, and Ana left.

***

Silhouette of woman looking out of a window-1350607
The next morning, she woke to the scent of him outside her hotel room door. She wrapped herself in a robe at the sound of his knock and opened windows, let the light in. Ana did not fear the sun; had not in over a hundred years when she realized she was too old to be harmed.

He looked younger, so much younger, without the suit and tie. “My God, you could be a college student,” she said.

“May I come in?”

She opened the door. She stayed in one of the old hotels in Boston that overlooked a square where witches once hung. Her room was lush, filled with antique couches, flowers in tall vases, and throw blankets for keeping warm in the New England chill.

“What did you find?”

Ana stepped past him, toward the phone. “Would you like coffee?”

“No.” He shook his head.

She hung up the phone. “Nothing. Yet.”

“I’m coming with you tonight.”

“No. You’ll get hurt.”

He took two long steps forward, and he had her back against the wall. “Who cares?”

Ana remembered all the sweaty dreams she’d had of this man—all the times she’d awoken, whispering his name, before Mary was dead, before his skin was inches from her teeth. She shoved past him, but the warmth of his chest lingered on the palm of her hand where she’d pushed him away.

“Mary would care,” she said at the window, facing the street below.

“She’s dead.”

“Do you rush to meet her?”

“I can’t just do nothing.”

She felt him get closer, until he lingered, inches from her back.

“Please, Ana,” he said.

She wanted him to say her name again. She wanted him to beg. To quench her auditory longing, she turned and hugged him around the waist. She leaned her forehead against the side of his chin and took in a mouthful of scent.

She was surprised by the way his tension melted in her arms, as if they were old familiars. Perhaps Mary had shown him pictures, too—of Ana, of Mary and Ana. Perhaps he once dreamt of her.

“Just tonight,” she said. She pulled back and touched his face. So soft, just shaved. “Only tonight will you need protecting.”

***

She took him to a vampire bar—one where few mortals dared venture, especially without an escort. Ana would be Ethan’s escort, and she would be careful, because he was too beautiful to be left alone. The place was called Vlad; Ana found this trite; having once met the infamous vampire, Dracula, she found him stupid and dull.

The interior was black and red—black walls, red carpet. The place smelled of Old Country church incense and an undercurrent of blood no mortal could detect. Ana took Ethan’s hand as they stepped inside and whispered, “Pretend we’re together,” meaning not friends but lovers.

And he looked the part in a black suit and shirt, no tie. He looked the part: pale skin; bright, wicked eyes. He looked like a man a vampire would love.

Eyes turned when they entered because they were new and easy to admire. Ana dragged him to the bar; ordered a shot of blood for her, vodka for him. They toasted, and after they drank, her lips found the edge of his mouth; he didn’t pull away because he only pretended.

They allowed themselves to be touched, flirted with. Ana noticed Ethan was an old pro—had no doubt spent years being treated this way by many different women. She kept her nose open, waiting for the scent of Mary or perhaps the flicker of a gaze. Surely whoever killed Mary also knew of Ethan, her sexual secret; if Ana saw recognition in the eyes of an admirer, she would know whose throat to slash.

Yet, as time passed, no scent arrived; eyes did nothing but gaze adoringly on Ethan. There was no guilt here. No fear. Only the hope of a warm meal, which Ana was careful to dissuade with her hand on Ethan’s shoulder, her own stare planted on his neck that shined like a moonlit pond. No one doubted he was hers, but perhaps they hoped for a threesome—a hope she shook off when other monsters looked to her with their pleas.

Soon, he grew tired, and she told him it was time to go home.

***
dddd
Ethan trusted her because Mary, his love, trusted her, so there was no hesitation when she invited him up to her hotel room for a nightcap. After the bar, a quiet, relaxing drink was what they both needed. He sat on the couch and leaned his head back. Ana watched him, and her fingers shook as she poured two glasses of wine.

She approached, handed him his glass. His skin smelled like the cologne she now knew well, along with a tinge of laundry detergent on his dress shirt. She ran her hand through his black hair, and he closed his eyes against her touch—not in pain but in pleasure. He was comfortable with her, had proved as much since the funeral.

Then, he moaned softly, and she realized he was asleep. Before the untouched glass of wine could fall to the wooden floor, Ana removed the long stem from his fingers and set it on the lamp-lit table by his side. Her own glass joined his, and she watched him sleep until she was certain her movements would not wake him.

She removed her high-heeled shoes and set them on the floor. She kneeled on the couch and straddled his waist. Still, he did not move.

Ana pulled her smartphone from the side of her bra. She leaned back, on top of him, and saw Ethan through the camera lens. She teased herself with the distance the lens afforded—like all those photos and videos from dear, dead Mary. Ana even took a picture of the sleeping man, for old time’s sake. Then, she moved her camera away to remind herself he really was between her legs.

She placed her petite hands on his chest and felt the warmth there. She heard his heart beat and smelled the blood beneath his skin. Warmth began to spread through her own body, starting in her thighs and up into her stomach. Her head felt light, delirious with desire for this doomed man whose only mistake was falling in love with her favorite niece.

Ana leaned forward and brushed the side of her cheek against his. “Ethan,” she whispered.

She pulled back as his lashes fluttered. His blue eyes looked up at her, confused. “Ana?”

She put her thumb against his mouth. “Shhh. This won’t hurt a bit.”

He tried to stand up, but before his feet could find placement, she had the top two buttons of his dress shirt torn and her teeth against his throat.

He tensed when she broke skin. He whimpered, said her name. His hands pushed against her shoulders until the poison in her fangs spread through his brain and made him lazy in her arms. His head fell against the back of the couch; his arms went limp. He was a six-foot ragdoll, but at times, she felt him pull closer to her—perhaps running toward death to see his Mary once more.

His blood was all she hoped, knew, it would be. Ever since the funeral, the smell of him haunted her. Now, what kept him alive poured down her throat and made her dead heart … beat, beat, beat. Halfway through the meal, she found herself moaning against his flesh, because she knew this was not about death.

Yet, Ethan was near death—very much so. She pulled her teeth away and looked at his face. If she didn’t know better, she would think he was but asleep.

She rose higher on her knees. She used her own teeth to carve a hole in her wrist, and she dripped blood between his parted lips. Her job well done, she fell back on the couch beside him. She licked the lingering blood on her lips—her own mixed with that of Ethan’s.

She sat and waited, but she did not need to wait long.

He was suddenly awake at her side, bent forward, doubled over in pain. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “It’ll be over in a moment,” she said.

His new-found strength was difficult to manage as his humanity died. Becoming a vampire was not a pleasant process, Ana recalled. Yet she was strong enough to hold him, keep him from breaking the room as he fought to escape bodily hurt. When he shouted, she covered his mouth with her hand. She soon found herself kneeling on top of him, pinning him to the couch and holding him in silence.

Ethan’s breath then calmed. His body relaxed. He no longer fought her, and she leaned away, gave him space. “Ethan,” she whispered, and she touched his hair.

“God, what have you done?” He wouldn’t look at her.

“You’ll never lose the woman you love again.”

“I don’t love you,” he said.

“You will.” She pushed his hair behind his ear and saw his profile—wide open eyes and parted lips. “Let me see you.”

After long moments of nothing but background city noise, he finally turned to her. His skin was no paler than it had been before, but his eyes, even brighter. A drop of blood stood out like a beauty mark on the side of his chin; she left it there for him to find, and she held his face in her hands.

“I’ve wanted you since I first saw you,” she said. She kissed his parted lips, once.

“Why?”

“You remind me of someone I once knew.” She thought back to her beloved Byron. “And you made Mary so happy.” She paused. “Make me happy, too, Ethan.”

She still held his face in her hands, and for the first time since they met, his eyes moved to her lips and he kissed her. He was gentle, perhaps testing out the taste and feel of her, until she pulled hard on the back of his neck and opened his mouth with her tongue.

Ana pulled away long enough to say, “Touch me,” before her mouth once again found his.

She thought back to the innocent smartphone video from Mary’s dorm room—a video that ended like this, with Ethan on top and in a black suit. Tell me you love me, Mary had said, and he did.

One thing Ana would never tell Ethan: that she’d killed his precious Mary to have him all to herself. Mary was too unreliable with men; she only would have hurt him anyway.

The End – Happy Halloween 2013


3 Comments on Halloween Short Story: The Trouble with Smartphones, last added: 11/4/2013
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2. Halloween Town: Ghosts of Phoenix and More …

Saturday night, dressed as my wicked witchy self, I had the pleasure of attending the Hotel San Carlos’ Ghosts of Phoenix tour. I was not disappointed.

The Hotel San Carlos officially opened in 1928. It was the premiere luxury hotel of its day and the first hotel in Phoenix to feature air conditioning! Plenty of famous folk stayed the night, including Mae West, Clark Gable, and the lovely Marilyn Monroe (who has a suite named after her near the pool—of course). The years have passed, but the hotel is still a beautifully spooky spot with antique lighting and long hallways, reminiscent of Kubrick’s Shining.

Being so old (old in a Phoenix sort of way, that is), the Hotel San Carlos has plenty of ghost stories—which the staff was oh so happy to share. The Hotel San Carlos is famous for its history and alleged hauntings.  It has been featured on the Travel Channel’s “Weird Travels” and received the #3 spot on Horror.com’s list of “America’s Top 10 Haunted Hotels.” Oo-oo-oo … spooky!

It helped that the night itself felt spooky, as nights near Halloween are wont to do. By the time I arrived, the sun had long since set, and the busy city bustled beneath a star-lit sky. When I walked into the hotel, I noticed the Ghost Lounge was covered in creepy cobwebs. A wedding reception was in full swing near the lobby, the bride wearing a dress that would have fit fine in the late 1920s. Basically, the scene was set.

Our tour guide, Julia, was a heck of a storyteller. First, she took us down to the dastardly dark basement, where the ghosts of three children apparently like to play. The adoringly curious crowd snapped several photos, and even I caught a ghoulish “orb” on film. Then, it was up to the seventh floor, where the ghost of actress Leone Jensen floats. Leone jumped from the roof of the hotel, but her death was suspicious. She wore a fancy evening gown, and she was still clutching her purse. Plus, why would a suicide victim have mysterious bruises on her wrist?

The list of strange deaths goes on, but the tour is definitely worth it for the spook factor. It added greatly to my Halloween mentality, the staff was spook-tacular, and I can’t wait to someday spend a night in the haunted Hotel San Carlos. The tours will continue on through December, so get in touch with the hotel and book your reservation! All the info you need is on the Ghosts of Phoenix tour website: http://www.ghostsofphoenix.com/.

Now … You know what day it is. It’s Halloween, which means you have a few things to prepare for tonight. We all know the ghosts are free to wander this eve. If you want to stay safe, it’s time to carve that jack-o-lantern, or Stingy Jack might come and get you. Jack once made a deal with the Devil to never take his soul. But Jack wasn’t a nice guy, so when he died, Heaven wouldn’t take him either. Jack has since been trapped on earth, carrying a carved out turnip with a light inside. To keep him (and other wandering spirits, for that matter) away from your home, light a jack-o-lantern and put it in

4 Comments on Halloween Town: Ghosts of Phoenix and More …, last added: 11/1/2011
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3. Halloween Town: Dark Scares Haunted Attraction

Saturday, we had a Halloween extravaganza at my house. I made pumpkin chili. (It was delicious.) We had a huge spread of food, including—but not limited to—horseradish cheddar cheese and crackers, homemade guacamole with orange, fresh vegetables, and Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn. Did I mention the pumpkin beer? Because we had lots of pumpkin beer, too.

We also had ambience. All the little purple, green, and orange lights in the apartment were bright and shining. I closed the plantation shutters so we could pretend for one afternoon that we lived someplace spooky, where it might just rain and storm. The wicked little critter on the coffee table that laughs when you touch him joined in the conversation, and we watched horror movies: Trick-or-Treat, followed by Halloween, followed by Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog (okay, that last one wasn’t a horror movie, but it was entertaining). And of course I chased Ripley around the living room in my witch hat.

All of this Halloween decadence was followed by a trip to the Dark Scares Haunted Attraction in Mesa. Now, the longer I live in Phoenix, the more I learn about Arizona. For instance, who knew a 10,000-square-foot haunted house could fit in a shopping center? In Ohio and Charleston, I was accustomed to haunted houses in big old mansions or—even worse—in pitch black cornfields. This AZ dastardly house of horrors was literally in the middle of a classic car show. The only reason we found it was because of a strobe light on top of the entrance. But don’t let the entrance detract from the creep factor …

Oh, no, while waiting outside, a kid dressed like a corpse sneaks around and stands right behind you until you notice and JUMP! Or possibly scream. I prefer screaming. And you can hear plenty of screaming from inside Dark Scares as you wait in line.

So the Dark Scares Haunted Attraction is composed of two haunted houses: House 666 on the Lane and Le Carnaval des Non Morts (translation: “No Carnival of Souls”). Yeah, you heard right: a carnival. As if clowns aren’t scary enough in sunlight … As a participant, you get to run through both the houses—and I do mean run. First off, they separate big groups. You can either go in as a group of two or three. Our gang of Halloween revelers was six, so we split down the middle and set foot inside.

When I was younger, my girlfriends always made me go first into the haunted houses. I don’t know why. It doesn’t make much sense, honestly. Going first means you probably won’t get scared. They always go after person number two or the dreaded last person in line. If you go last, you’re practically guaranteed to have a ghost hanging from your ankle at some point, which is basically what happened Saturday night. My gal pal Tiffany and I were paired up with my brave Jake, who kept us safe … when he wasn’t laughing at our terror.

Although both sides were excellent, the carnival was my personal favorite. Not only do you have a chance to get lost (and I mean LOST) in a maze, but there’s a spinning room you have to walk through and a terrifying cannibal zombie that would NOT let up. Our group’s most quoted line of the night came from House 666: “Did you wash your hands? … DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS?” I didn’t stay to see how that conversation ended. I was too busy screaming my face off and running for the door

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4. An H and Five Ws with the Glendale Paranormal Chasers

Are you afraid of ghosts? These guys sure aren’t. They recently gave a presentation at the Litchfield Park Branch Library, and the room was filled to exploding. I guess we all want to know more about what happens to us after we leave this mortal coil … I decided to pick their brains a bit. Plus, they’re going to take me on a cemetery visit to check out a place they consider to be “highly active.” Awesomeness. Allow me to introduce Tim Schell of the Glendale Paranormal Chasers.

Tim is a 40-year-old husband and father of three. He’s been ghost hunting for 19 years! He grew up in Laporte, Indiana, until the age of 19, when he joined the US Navy and had some of his first experiences with the paranormal. The Glendale Paranormal Chasers group is only 11 months old, and he started it with his wife because he was tired of hunting ghosts all by himself. Now, let’s learn more about what he does and what he believes.

How did you get involved in ghost-hunting?    
I was 17 years old, and I apparently had a ghost in my mom’s house. We didn’t know it until an eight-pack of soda bottles exploded one by one right down the line. Then I heard someone sit in my mom’s recliner, and I heard footsteps on the stairs. That’s when I went to my local library to read about spirits, and I’m still interested, some 19 years later.

Whose ghost would you most like to meet?
I really don’t have anyone whose ghost I would like to see, but if I was to choose one, as a kid, I always liked Elvira … so that would be my choice, haha …

Phantom mist ... Oooooo.

What is the most solid evidence of the existence of ghosts you have ever witnessed?    
I saw a little boy in my home back in Michigan and even communicated with him. His name was Adam. He told me he died in a car accident in South Bend, Indiana. He was looking for his family. He was in the hallway of our home and then walked down the hallway, lay down on our bed, and disappeared.

Where is the scariest place in Arizona?  
Honestly, still looking for it—although mind you, I have been to many haunted locations and come home with plenty of evidence as far as EVPs, video, audio on video, and pictures. I’ve had many personal experiences, as well, like hearing a voice in my ear or being touched by an invisible force. These places are haunted, but not scary haunted.

When have you felt most afraid?    
Not really afraid, but I have been startled many times. In daylight and at night time. Especially when a spirit whispers in your ear …

Is that a ghostly face?

WHY do you believe ghosts stick around after death?    
Because the Bible says, “We will ALL rise to

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5. Halloween Town: Pumpkin Beer—Yum

I’ve made it clear that I’ll taste anything made of pumpkin—coffee, cookies, pies, and most importantly, beer. I wait all year to go to Total Wine mid-September and find rows and rows of seasonal pumpkin ale. I buy a bottle of each kind, figure out which one I like the most, and then, return to Total Wine and stock pile. STOCK PILE! I have quite possibly ruined someone else’s day by way of buying the last three six packs of Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale.

This year, I’ve been excited by a few and disappointed by others. To save you money and unwanted disappointment, I have compiled the following list of tasting notes for pumpkin ales, circa 2011 …

Buffalo Bill’s Pumpkin Ale
Brewed in Hayward, California, they call this brew “America’s Original” Pumpkin Ale. They use baked and roasted pumpkins, along with cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. This used to be my favorite pumpkin ale. Alas, it is no longer. It was kinda weak this year. Not much pumpkin flavor and a little lighter than I remember. Buffalo Bill, I am disappointed.

Dogfish Head Punkin Ale
We all know a lot more than we used to about this quirky Delaware brewing house thanks to “Brew Masters” on the Discovery Channel. They’re known for putting lots of wacky stuff in their beers, but this does not detract from the deliciousness. Many of their beers are a meal in a bottle. Punkin Ale is good, but it’s not my favorite. As Jake pointed out, it actually tasted like a beer, as opposed to the pumpkin pie flavor I seek out in pumpkin ales. This is perfect for a first visit to the world of pumpkin beer. Plus, it’s seven percent alcohol. Good.

Pumpkinhead AHHH!

KBC Pumpkin Ale
I had never seen this beer until this year and so far, only at Trader Joe’s. It’s brewed by Kennebunkport Brewing Company in Maine. These guys also make Shipyard beers (which I’ll get to later). From what I can tell, the KBC Pumpkin Ale is the cheap version of Shipyard’s Pumpkinhead. The KBC label beer only costs $5.99 a 6-pack, but dang, is it delicious! Now we’re closer to pumpkin pie in a bottle! If you’re by Trader Joe’s, pick up a pack. At that price point, why not?

Shipyard Brewing Company’s Pumpkinhead
Shipyard, as mentioned, comes from Maine. I guess you’d call this the big brother of KBC Pumpkin Ale. It’s a little heavier on the palate and has a yummy autumn nose. As usual, a safe bet. Just writing about it makes me thirsty.

Wasatch Pumpkin Seasonal Ale
Wasatch Brewery is in Utah. (They drink in Utah?) Anyway … Wasatch is always my favorite, and it almost won again this year. Almost. It is literally pumpkin pie in a beer bottle (with alcohol added). They says it’s “spiced like your favorite holiday pie.” It is. It smells like pumpkin pie. It tastes like pumpkin pie. After drinking it, you will burb pumpkin pie. No joke; this is the real deal. If you can handle drinking your dessert, go buy some—immediately.

Now, DRUMROLL PLEASE. The best pumpkin beer of 2011 is …

4 Comments on Halloween Town: Pumpkin Beer—Yum, last added: 10/21/2011
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6. Halloween Town 2011


It’s October 3rd, 2011; do you know where your children are?
Ah—spooky! Got a little ahead of myself …

What I meant to say:
It’s October 3rd, 2011; do you know what I did this weekend? I decorated the entire house in creepy, crawly Halloween critters, because I LOVE HALLOWEEN. We turned off all the lights last night, and our house glowed purple, orange, and green. The weird little goblin that sits on our dining room table shook and laughed, “Hoo-hahahaha,” and my Nightmare before Christmas vampire ornament grinned a sharp, toothy grin—because they both know it’s October and October means time for fun.

I love this time of year, as you may have guessed based on last year’s entire month of Halloween lore, planted right here on my blog, under the heading “Halloween Town.” This year will be no different. In fact, this year will be even better, because I know Phoenix better, and I know all the scary stuff I want to do in the next thirty days …

I want to meet the Glendale Paranormal Chasers and ask about their scariest case. I want to run through the cornfield at the Vertuccio Farms Fall Festival and get lost for an hour with Jake (my soon-to-be husband!). I will scream at the Dark Scares Haunted Attraction in Mesa with Halloween cohort Tiffany Brown. I will develop a serious case of the heebie-geebies at the Ghosts of Phoenix Tour at the haunted Hotel San Carlos. I will carve a Wes Craven-inspired pumpkin at the Four Peaks Pumpkin Carving Contest on the 26th. Finally, I will spook a crowd of 900 people at Ignite Phoenix #11 when I talk about the “Scariest Place on Earth,” October 28th.

I will read a pile of books all about Halloween, Samhain, All Hallows Eve, Day of the Dead … you get the idea. I will watch a stack of movies hip-high, filled with blood-curdling screams, spooky kids in costume, and witches with wild hats. I will rock out in my car to the Rocky Horror soundtrack. I will cook delectable entrees, featuring pureed fresh pumpkin and rich deserts that’ll curl your toes.

October is the month of spooks—and for spooks. It’s the month of scares, real and imagined. Although there are seemingly no cemeteries in Phoenix (when you reach a certain age do you all turn into vampires around here?), you can create a cemetery mood in your own house, through decorations, creepy movies, and fall-fresh Yankee Candles that almost—almost—smell like rainy autumn in Ohio.

It’s October 3rd, 2011; do you know what’s hiding in your closet?


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7. Halloween Town: An Epic Day of Celebration

Saturday morning, I woke up, made a batch of Pumpkin Spice coffee, and watched the first hour of Dead Silence—a horror movie about ventriloquist dummies coming back to life and killing people. Ew. I got dressed and was soon ready for the Dia de Los Muertos celebration at the Mesa Arts Center. For the ride, I burned a special Halloween CD, featuring such numbers as “The Monster Mash,” “The Time Warp,” and my favorite: “I Put a Spell on You” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.

Dia de los Muertos, Mesa Arts Center Altar

As soon as I pulled onto Main Street, Mesa, I could hear the Latino band, Orquestra Kaliente, rockin’ out on stage. I don’t like Mariachi. I think Mariachi sounds like German polka music with Spanish lyrics. But the music I heard at Day of the Dead was not Mariachi. It was salsa, cha cha cha, cumbia, and bolero. I even got the chance to hear a rousing rendition of my favorite Mexican song, “Paloma Negra.”

Let’s not forget the décor. Skulls, skulls, everywhere! And altars with huge flower arrangement, candles, and Dia de los Muertos masks! Despite the beautiful, sunny day, the décor made it feel at least a little creepy, and of course, I bought a skull for our house AND did a rubbing that looks like a southern belle, dead and skeletal with an evil grin. Oh, and how could I forget the mouth-watering authentic chicken mole tacos?

Part of the Dia de los Muertos tradition is eating the favorite dish of your deceased relative. So on my way home, I picked up some beef ravioli and vodka sauce in memory of Uncle Barney. While prepping dinner for Jake (who had to work Saturday—twelve long hours), I watched Rocky Horror Picture show … again. I only watched it four times this month. I danced around the house to “Sweet Transvestite” as I prepared for my costume: a Stepford Wife.

Sara, the Stepford Wife.

This costume came from a conversation I had with a buddy of mine, Jeff Moriarty. Over lunch, I was explaining how I made mashed potatoes from scratch for the first time. Jeff said, “You should be Donna Reed for Halloween,” to which I replied, “No, I should be a STEPFORD WIFE!” To which he replied, “Why do you have to make everything creepy?”

Costume fully intact, I left the house and spent the rest of the evening at first, a house party, and then, our local Litchfield Park haunt, Taps Signature Cuisine and Bar. There was much drinking, dancing, and rejoicing, as the Stepford Wife and (generally speaking) a bunch of strangers wallowed in the beauty of the night, while ducking fake cobwebs and waving our hands over boiling dry-ice cauldrons.

Now, Halloween Town must come to an end. The decorations must be removed and costumes stored in closets for another year. Rotten pumpkins must be thrown away, and leftover candy from trick-or-treaters must be consumed in plenty. This month has been filled with freaky fun. I’ve watched approximately 20–30 horror movies, dozens of ghost hunter programs on the Travel Channel, and even the little pumpkin lights that danced around the skeleton hanging on our front door. I’ve learned about new holidays: the Wiccan Samhain and the Mexican Dia de los Muertos. I did just about everything I set out to do in the month of

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8. Halloween Town: Dia de los Muertos

Despite early settlers attempts to “civilize” the natives with Christian tradition, Dia de los Muertos—or Day of the Dead—is still one of the most widely celebrated holidays in all of Mexico. And in the Valley of the Sun, too, so it would seem.

Although Dia de los Muertos is closely associated with Halloween, the holidays have very little in common, beyond the feasting and the partying. Dia de los Muertos officially occurs not on October 31, but on November 2, in connection with the Catholic All Saints’ Day (November 1) and All Souls’ Day (November 2).

It’s all about honoring your ancestors. People don wooden skull masks (“calacas”) and dance around. They build full altars to the dead, meant to remember and pay homage to those gone—a good idea, especially since many ancient celebrators of the Day of the Dead believe spirits come back to visit the living on this hallowed day.

Dia de los Muertos is also about visiting cemeteries—in effect, visiting your dead relatives—and decorating their graves with flowers and candles. One source suggested bringing a bottle of tequila to leave behind for the dead. (Do you think old Aunt Myrtle would mind if I took a tiny sip?) It’s an all-day thing. You sit on a blanket, have a kind of picnic, and eat your dead relative’s favorite dish.

Maybe you think this is morbid, but look at it from the perspective of native Mexican people. To them, death was not the end of life; it was a continuation of life. Instead of fearing death, they embraced it. To them, life was a dream and only in death did they become truly awake. When you look at it that way, you can see how this event turns into a big party by the end of the day!

Since we’re so close to Mexico here in AZ, there are countless Dia de los Muertos celebrations going on in the Valley of the Sun. Here’s a mere smattering:

  • Dia de los Muertos. Mesa Arts Center, Mesa, AZ. October 30–31. “Join the arts center for its fourth annual Dia de los Muertos Festival, Saturday and Sunday.  Mesa Arts Center ignites in a celebration of departed loved ones in the traditional manner observed for centuries in towns across Mexico.  The Mercado features vibrant colors, an assortment of traditional and contemporary merchandise, jewelry, Mexican arts & crafts, and more from local artisans and vendors.  Live entertainment, food, family, and fun will be abundant!”
  • Dia de los Muertos. Desert Botanical Garden, Phoenix, AZ. October 30–31. “Come to the Garden for Day of the Dead, or Día de los Muertos, a colorful tradition that honors and celebrates departed loved ones in a festival setting. Enjoy entertainment that will bring the history of the holiday to life with song, dance, and storytelling. Festivities culminate with La Procesión. Experience the Desert Botanical Garden’s interactive altar honoring Día de los Muertos. Delicious Mexican food, pastries, and beautiful Mexican art will be available for purchase in the Gardens Mercado.”

10 Comments on Halloween Town: Dia de los Muertos, last added: 10/26/2010

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9. Halloween Town: Ohio University and Contact Highs

I attended Ohio University for several reasons. 1) Even though I visited during the dreaded cicada season, it was still one of the most beautiful places on earth. 2) Its journalism school kicked butt. 3) It was way more affordable than out-of-state. And 4) Well … come on, let’s be honest: it was a party school, most notably on the night of Halloween.

As I’ve mentioned before, Athens, Ohio, has been called one of the most haunted places on the planet, and, perhaps by coincidence, the city is also host to one of the largest Halloween block parties in the nation. Every year anywhere from 10,000 to 30,000 costumed party goers fill Court Street in Uptown Athens. Lucky me, I lived on Court Street my junior and senior years. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Ohio University, Athens, Ohio

I was drunk the first night I set foot in Athens, Ohio, after unpacking all my junk, meeting my new roommate (Katie Nichols/Laver, the sweetest girl on earth), and saying goodbye to my tearful ma and pa. Literally, as soon as our parents’ cars could be seen driving away from Washington Hall on East Green, Katie and I turned to each other and said, “So what are we doing tonight?” We went out, wandered around, and ended up at an upper-class kegger. I was eighteen! Drinking a beer! And I didn’t have to worry about my parents finding out! Because they were back in Perrysburg!

The months continued liked this, until it was made apparent: Halloween is a big deal. You must have a good costume. You must hang out on Court Street. You must possibly get arrested for public urination. It was all part of the tradition. The first year, I was a mafia princess. The second year, I was Trinity from The Matrix, and by the second year, three of my best friends rolled into town for the event. Halloween in Athens became their tradition, too. Even Jake was in Athens for Halloween one year, while I was at the university. It’s a small world … where Halloween celebration at Ohio University is concerned.

The main attraction of Halloween in Athens was Court Street, my home for two years. The City of Athens closed down the entire street to accommodate the crowds, and as spectators/ participants, we gratefully obliged. The walk to Court Street was always a challenge, even when I lived there. By the time you actually left your house, you’d probably been drinking for about six hours. (One year a visiting pal of mine never even made it to Court Street. She blamed it on the avid game of flip cup we’d played that afternoon.)

Court Street. The insanity.

Once on Court Street, the drunkenness of the entire town functioned as a contact high. You made friends and got hugs from perfect strangers—especially if they were dressed as, say, Indiana Jones or a postal carrier. It was a good thing you made new friends, because you usually lost the ones you came with anyway. (Once, I lost another out-of-town visitor on Court Street, only

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10. Halloween Town: An H and Five Ws with Wiccan Priestess Ashleen O’Gaea

You never know who you might meet at a writers’ conference. Sure, you’re gonna meet some weirdoes … but there’s also the off chance you might meet someone super cool and interesting, like Ashleen O’Gaea. And who better to do an interview in the month of October?

O’Gaea (pronounce oh-jee-uh) is a Wiccan priestess and author of several books about the religion; now she’s breaking into fiction.  She is also a wife, a mother, and a camper.  O’Gaea lives in Tucson, where there’s a long-established and active Pagan community.  She fancies herself sort of artistic, wishes she could actually dance, and takes her single-malt whisky (preferably without an e) neat. Check out her website at http://www.ashleenogaea.com/.

An H and Five Ws with Wiccan Priestess Ashleen O’Gaea

How did you become a Wiccan Priestess?
Can I blame my mom?  She was a very active volunteer for the Unitarian Church in Portland, and that rubbed off on me.  I was active in the UU Church here for several years, and when we discovered Wicca, it was just natural that I’d start volunteering . . . only there wasn’t a group to volunteer for!  I began to read with the zeal of a convert and started writing about Wicca almost immediately, and probably because of articles in several small ‘zines, many of which are gone now, I was recruited by a local priestess, Delia Morgan, to help found the Tucson Area Wiccan-Pagan Network in 1988.

My HHp (Husband and High Priest) Canyondancer and I formed our first group in ’89 after initiating each other to First Degree at Samhain, and that group became Campsight Coven in 1991.   I was elevated to Third at Litha of 1991 by two eclectic priestesses in the community here; and in June of 2004 I was ordained by the Aquarian Tabernacle Church.  Basically, within a year of finding out that Wicca existed, I felt like I’d always been part of it, and priestessing was never exactly a conscious decision—it was just finding a name for what already felt natural to do.  (And by the way, being a Wiccan priest/ess means for Canyondancer and me what it means to ministers of other religions: we “marry ‘em and bury ‘em” and take care of everything else in between—including, of course, observing the holy days on our faith’s liturgical calendar.)

Who first got you interested in Wicca?
Short answer: our good friend Faerie Moon.

Longer answer: When I was in high school and college, “the occult” was a very popular diversion.  I read Tarot cards and had psychic dreams and all, but I didn’t have any context for any of that other than B-movie stereotypes, and that wasn’t anything I could take seriously.  The TV show “Bewitched” was cute enough, but Samantha still occasionally referred to “the man downstairs,” and that just didn’t light my candles.  People always saw something a little fey about me, and one friend meant to ask if I was superstitious and instead asked if I was supernatural, but it was all kind of jokey and being a little bit psychic was just amusingly weird for a long time.

When ‘dancer and I got married, we chose traditional music for the ceremony—the bridal chorus from Lohengrin—and the organist at the UU Church said it was “too Pagan” for his taste!  And we were celebrating Solstices and Equinoxes and “Mayday” and “Halloween”—so I guess it was pretty predictable that when Faerie Moon showed me Margot Adler’s Drawing Down the Moon and Starhawk’s Spiral Dance,

2 Comments on Halloween Town: An H and Five Ws with Wiccan Priestess Ashleen O’Gaea, last added: 10/19/2010
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11. Halloween Town: To the Pumpkin Patch We Go

It's the Pumpkin King, Charlie Brown!

In search of the perfect pumpkin, Jake and I set off yesterday to visit the Tolmachoff Farms Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch in Glendale. Generally, it was a good experience, but allow me one moment of all-out angry Midwestern behavior.

It was 100 degrees yesterday. In the middle of October. While shopping for Halloween pumpkins. I’ve kept my mouth shut so far this month, but well, I kind of lost it yesterday. It’s official: I miss fall in the Midwest. Don’t hate me for it, but I do. I miss the cool, crisp temperatures. I miss wearing a sweatshirt. I miss the smell (oh, the glorious smell!) of bonfires and wet leaves after a rainstorm. And it didn’t really hit me until yesterday, while tromping through the Tolmachoff Corn Maze. I miss autumn, and it’s a palpable, empty space in my chest.

Which is probably why I spent thirty bucks at Yankee Candle this week, buying candles called “Autumn Breeze” and “Pumpkin Spice.”

Now that I’m done complaining …

Like I said, Tolmachoff Farms is in Glendale. It’s a four generation family farm, operated by Bill and Gracie Tolmachoff and their four children: Bill, Ashley, Michael, and Brooke. The farm originally grew cotton, wheat, and corn in the first part of this century. Then, Bill Senior started selling plums in the early 1970s from a roadside stand, and the rest is history. They now provide the community with fresh produce and seasonal fun—complete with a pumpkin patch and corn maze.

Cost for admission is seven bucks a head. It’s a little steep, especially when you consider you’re not really getting anything free to take home. Once inside, you have to purchase any produce (including super-yummy Pumpkin Butter) or pumpkin. You even have to pay to feed the animals at the petting zoo (who all seemed thoroughly depressed, to be honest, which was in turn depressing).

Spooky Jake in the Corn Maze.

I did have fun in the Corn Maze. It took forty-five minutes! This is predominantly what you’re paying for, and I’d never done a Corn Maze before. I did have flashbacks of David Bowie, wearing tight spandex in The Labyrinth—but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, is it? Jake was my fearless leader, and he guided us to the exit with the stellar leadership of an army general. Even though it was hotter than hell, I wallowed in the smell of fresh corn on the cob. Strangely, the scent reminded me of another season altogether—the beginning of summer in Ohio.

In conclusion, Tolmachoff Farms is pretty expensive for what you get. We didn’t even buy a pumpkin, because they were too over-priced. The Corn Maze was good fun; the petting zoo was just plain sad. The Pumpkin Butter is delicious.

Maybe my lukewarm feelings about the place weren’t really any fault of the farm itself; maybe it was my attitude that did it. Maybe yesterday I was just struggling with getting into the spirit of the season, because how does a true Midwesterner fall into fall … without a big pile of leaves to catch her?


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12. Halloween Town: My Personal Haunted House

I’ve been buying Halloween decorations for weeks, hoarding them in our hall closet. Finally, Wednesday, I allowed myself to hang ‘em up. All of them. When Jake came home, he said our house looked creepy. That is exactly what I wanted to hear.

I’ve always enjoyed going to man-made, seasonal haunted houses. Sure, they cost a fortune (usually about ten bucks a head for a fear fest that lasts about ten minutes). Regardless, I can’t help but check them out, because the man-made haunted houses do make me feel like I’m living in a horror movie.

I also love the real, honest to goodness haunted houses, though. In college, overlooking the city of Athens, Ohio, was an abandoned insane asylum. It was said to be filled with spirits up there—children, adults, and gnarly old ladies. We would sneak up there late at night, and scare the crap out of ourselves. I loved that adrenaline, and I swear, it always felt like someone really was hiding in the shadows.

Both of these ghostly entities—the man-made and the real—have perhaps molded my Halloween house adornments. There are a precious few things I find to be necessary for interior decoration at Halloween time, so I submit the top five MUST-HAVE items to freak out your friends and neighbors.

1. We’ll call them “Halloween lights.” They’re the same as Christmas lights, but they’re usually purple or orange. The purple ones especially give your house an Elvira’s boudoir feel. They’re sexy and spooky, and it’s so much fun to turn off all the lights in the house—except the purple ones—and watch The Candyman or something equally jump-worthy. I’ve only recently discovered the color-changing LED lights. They’re pretty cool, too, especially if they’re in shapes like, say, little skulls or pumpkins.

2. Candles. I prefer glass votive holders in the shades of red, orange, or again, purple. No matter what color the votive inside, they give off an eerie glow, as if even your candles are expecting some fanged monster to come creeping from your back closet. And don’t forget the smell. Grab a nice pumpkin one from Yankee Candle. (Midsummer’s Night is good, too.) Despite the heat outside, the smell makes me think of Midwestern fall and the way weather should be on October 31.

3. Pumpkins. As adults, we forget about pumpkins. We forget how exciting it used to be as kids, carving away, covered in orange slime, creating little monsters of our own. (I was reminded in Charleston, where Poe’s Tavern on Sullivan’s Island has a pumpkin carving contest every year. Alas, where do people carve their pumpkins in PHX?) You don’t have to get real ones, if you’re a clean freak. Just get a fake one with a light in the center. It looks great, especially if you switch the usual white bulb with orange or red. And oh, how festive!

He's laughing at you.

4. Something that scares you. My aunt bought Jake and me this Tim Burton-esque doll that stands in the center of our kitchen table. When you touch the table, he laughs at you. He stands for what Halloween is

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13. Halloween Town: Oktoberfest and Fall Brew

As I’ve previously stated, I love the spookiness of Halloween. I love the horror movies and the pumpkins, but there is one thing I forgot to mention in my Halloween Town intro, and that something … is beer. A couple weeks ago, Jake and I were among the lucky ducks who attended the Total Wine Fall Seasonal Beer Tour, and we learned way more than just how to drink.

I’ve known about Germany’s Oktoberfest for years, because my Uncle Barney used to attend whenever he could. He told stories about beers mugs the size of American beer guts, and since he spoke German, he used to come back with friends who promised to save a seat for him the following year. At Total Wine, I learned a bit more. I learned the German Oktoberfest plays host to six million people every year. It’s been going on since 1810, and it goes on for sixteen days! That’s a lot of beer! The beer is served in one-liter mugs, and beer maids must be able to carry 10 of these at a time! ACK!

Speaking of beer … how do you taste it? No, you don’t use a beer bong. It’s a process, okay, much like drinking wine. In fact, it’s exactly like tasting wine. First, look at the appearance. Is it orange or red? Is it hazy or clear? What do you see? Next, smell it. Does it smell sweet? How about earthy? Or is it skunked? Check it out! Stick your nose right in there! Now, take a sip. Is it hoppy? Does it have a floral palate? Or is the alcohol burning your throat? Finally, mouth feel. Is it creamy? Light? A long or short finish?

See, there’s a ton of stuff that goes into this! That is, unless you drink some crap beer, like Bud Lite. If you’re drinking Bud Lite, stop it. It’s time to try something new. So here are some suggestions from the Total Wine beer tasting:

1. Spaten Original Oktoberfest, Germany
Spaten is the oldest brewery in Germany, and this was my favorite authentic Oktoberfest at the tasting. It’s got an alcohol contest of about 5.8 % (most American beers are at about 4.3). It was copper in color, floral in aroma, and perfumy on the palate. The mouth feel was light and refreshing with a clean finish. It’s considered a “textbook Oktoberfest,” and it’s easy to drink … possibly in large quantities. Buy it. Today. Lots of it.

2. Abita Brewing Company Fall Fest, Louisiana
This is a domestic interpretation of the German Oktoberfest beer. Abita is down in Louisiana, and I know them best for their Purple Haze brew (made with real raspberries). They’re donation-heavy, meaning that whenever there’s a problem in the gulf (aka Katrina or the oil spill), they create a special brew, the proceeds of which go to the survivors. This Fall Fest didn’t have much going on. It was earthy and bitter with a light mouthfeel. It would be an easy starter beer for the fall season, especially if this is your first foray outside the Bud Lite territory.

3. Avery’s Kaiser Imperial Octoberfest, Colorado
This monster of a beer has an alcohol content of about 10% (if you haven’t been paying attention, that’s a lot). It has an EPIC aroma—bitter and sweet with an edge of Worcestershire sauce. It’s bitter and creamy on the palate and has an everlasting finish. If you want to spend a couple hours drinking a single beer, this is the way to go.

4. Odell Brewing Company’s Woodcut #4, Colorado
A single bottle of this costs about twenty bucks, so if that seems excessive, stop reading … because this beer stole the dang show (and yes, we bought some). This

2 Comments on Halloween Town: Oktoberfest and Fall Brew, last added: 10/8/2010
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