My neighbor’s son was a nerd. I watched him grow up and could almost feel his pain. He had no idea that he was good-looking. He was a bright boy who got almost all A’s in his classes, yet he didn’t think that was much of anything to be proud of. Being tall, he played basketball and, maybe he wasn’t the star on the team, but he was a darn good player.
When he got into high school, the girls used to buzz around him, coquetish, flirting, giving him every clue possible that they woukd love to jump into a relationship. He had no clue. No response. Watching all of this as the years went by, I wondered if perhaps he was gay. But there was no indication of any of that either. He was simply a nerd … a social misfit.
I identified with him. I empathized with him. I knew exactly how he must have felt. You see, if you had read Becoming Alice, you would have known that I was that kind of a kid. I was not bad looking. I got good grades. I had no friends. I never went with boys in high school like other girls did. I was a social misfit.
Let’s fast forward a bit. My neighbor’s son is now about to graduate from college … with an A+ grade point average, of course. And, believe it or not, he is in a serious relationship with the cutest, most bubbly and fun girl one could imagine.
Recently I read that there have been studies done that showed the most poplular kids in high school didn’t end up being very successful adults in their professions, or in their inter-personal relationships. Imagine that! It seems that there is some sort of reversal of roles once someone passes from adolescence to adulthood.
Let’s look at the case of Bill Gates, who is now one of the wealthiest men in the world. It has been documented that he was a master nerd as a kid. And then there is the case of me. I am happy to tell you, I’m very much okay with myself now.
Filed under: Becoming Alice Tagged: Becoming Alice, Personalities, self confidence, self-esteem, Social misfits
Who defines a “nerd”? Doesn’t the term have different meaning for different people at different stages of their lives? From the way you describe yourself (now I want to read your book), you sounded more like a shy person than a nerd. Perhaps some people think shy people are “nerds”? I don’t know. Even when I was young, I didn’t jump on the bandwagon and label kids. Sure those labels were put there by others and we all knew about them. But I always liked to form my own opinions about people then and now.
Isn’t it interesting though that most children labeled “nerds” by their peers are the super intelligent ones? Does that mean being smart is “nerdy”? OK I do have to admit that I am not above name-calling myself. When I was young, if a kid labeled a “nerd” by others, to me was an a* hole – then I would agree that that kid was a nerd. As an adult, I don’t care what anyone looks like, how much they weigh, how much they earn, what they do for a living… BUT if they are an a*hole, I have no problem calling them “ugly”, “fat”, “lazy” or a “bum”. LOL Bottom line to me – it is the type of person you are, the character you have (or don’t have) and how you treat others that matters – not the labels others put on you both as a kid and an adult.
Thanks for sharing your insights. Now I have to find your book
Exactly my point.
Alice
P.S. Becoming Alice can be found on Amazon.com. BarnesandNoble.com, etc. etc.
P.P.S. If you ever find out how to Netblog on FB, please let me know!
Very relatable. Especially the mentions of the popular and happening kids ending up somewhat less successful. I’ve noticed this several times over the last few years as old school aqquaintances resurface and although I knew them in school as part of the “in” crowd, not they couldn’t be more mundane and bland. Meanwhile, folks such as myself have only grown in fabulous and incredible ways;)
It comes down in some ways to perception and as I say being comfortable in your own skin.
I wonder how he perceived himself and whether he was happy. Was he aware and did he care that people thought he was a nerd?
I was often percieved in school as being very self confident and yet that was far from the truth.
Like your posts Alice as they make me think.
So you have! Glad to know your experience has been like mine.
Thanks for your kind words, Susan.