Happy Valentine's Day! I know it was yesterday, but a holiday about Love should last so much longer than one day....how about every day? No? Well, we can start with a week. ;)
Valentine's Day is all about the love we share and feel towards those most important to us. Love is very important to me, to share with others....especially those that I don't know, because everyone needs it. A truth that is always good to share.
Today I want to share something with you, an original drawing...the first original drawing of my Mermaid Portrait series for my upcoming coloring book.
Here's what you need to do to be entered into the Giveaway:
♥︎ Go to my Pinterest page and Follow
♥︎ Pin something you like from my Pinterest page
♥︎ Share here or on my Facebook Page a link to the Pin you liked
The more you Pin, the more your name is entered!
This will be running through the entire week of Valentine's. Today February 15th through Sunday, February 21st. All entries AFTER midnight February 21st will not make it to the list.
Winner will be announce Monday February 22nd!winner announced on facebook and here on the blog. winner will also be contacted via message/email
Happy Pinning! ♥︎
It's striking, in all of my reading the fairy lives in this 'in-between' place. Most would say "I have never seen one, but I believe they have a place on this earth.". I'm paraphrasing of course, but that's the gist.
Interesting. There are definitely those who believe in them, and those that do not, but most fall in the middle. The history of fairies is also of that, they are in the middle. Neither heavenly, nor demonic, just either stuck or thrown out and left to hide.
What I Believed
It started as a romance. I was drawn to the beauty and mystical qualities of the fairy. They appeared to be one with nature, dance on air, and talk to animals. As a child I wanted all of this. I was swooned in. As I grew older I discovered their magic, their power, and the mists of Avalon. There was sensuality and mystery.... all that I thought was stronger and more valuable than anything else I had encountered.
When I first experienced magic I was astonished and thought I had the same power that the fairies had. When I believed I could conjure fire in my own hand out of nothing I thought I could BE someone, or something. I truly believed they were all around hiding and waiting to find the right time to reveal themselves to me. I worked so hard to make them think I was worthy enough for them.
I believed fairies were elemental workers of the earth. They were misunderstood, agents for our environment, spoke to us through runes and other natural tools (fire, water, air, stones, etc.). I thought by being an ambassador for them I was helping the earth and thus my own heart. I thought I was fighting for a better place in this world so full of pain, hate, and disregard for the tree spirit I talked to every day at school. I never saw anyone standing up for them quite like the fairies. Of course I sounded crazy to many.
The Reality Sets In
With most of my experiences, when I came into contact with a fairy or spirit, it was unpleasant and always made my depression worse. Something so beautiful didn't prevent me from thoughts and attempts of suicide, they didn't make me feel valued, loved, or gifted. This isn't to blame the craft and to say it caused these, but it didn't help either, and I thought it would.
In my early adult life I was asked many questions about my faery tradition practices and witchcraft. In an attempt to answer, I began to notice how much of a religion it all was, how it was similar to other religions. A group of people, a hierarchy, priests, elders, book of stories, etc. I had myself convinced it was different, but now not so much. I started to attend a church through a relationship and, although I had MANY negative thoughts and accounts about Christians and the religion, I left my heart open. I was desperate, in pain, stuck, and at my lowest. I fled the paganism and jumped on board. How???
It's simple, all I wanted was to feel loved, to be an agent of the earth, and to freely use my gift for good. I had seen so many testimonies of the love people felt when they gave their life to God, to Jesus, I wanted it too. In my circles, I saw SO many people depressed, searching but never finding, and always wanting to gain more. In my experience I never met a witch who was at peace with who she was in her heart. I know they are out there, but it made me wonder and question from my own perspective.
Because of the mystery found in fairies and their folklore, I can now enjoy and experience the mystery found in the Bible and in God. Because of the belief I had in something unseen before, I can believe in Jesus. Because of my romantic lure into fairytales, I can read the Bible and see my prince, play the princess, and be the warrior on a horse fighting battles.
What I Believe Now
I was given this imagination from the start. I would run around in the backyard pretending I could talk to animals, connect with a tree and learn it's secrets, and fly. I would imagine running then taking off and flying just to fall asleep each night. I have always been drawn to the world of magic, mystery, and ethereal. So why, then, would that go away the moment I started to follow Jesus?
Why would I be given this imagination only to not use it? To deny it? That doesn't make sense. Not with the God that I know.
I wrestled with fairies for a long time after I began studying the Bible. There was nothing to guide me away, or anything that alarmingly stood out telling me to stop, drawing fairies. I read once somewhere that Brian Froud put wings on his fairies as an expression to who they were. To their personality. This resonated with me, and it's part of how I see fairies.
They are expressions of the earth, it's elements, it's spirit, and to aid in the belief that there is more out there than what we see. They are part of our imagination to get us wondering, to see outside the box, and to question.
They exist because we want them to exist. Are they as real as the flower I hold? I don't believe they are real like that. But what that flower does to your senses is what I believe a fairy can do, and that is where they are real.
Fairies represent vitality, freedom, expression, the possibilities, the unknown, wonder, beauty, humor, fears, and even what haunts us.
Interestingly fairies are more like a bridge in my opinion. They are that bridge between real and imaginary. They can bring you closer to God BECAUSE you are free to imagine and wonder. They can bring you closer to nature BECAUSE you're gardening to make a creative fairy garden. They can open up possibilities BECAUSE they are the stuff of magic and give us hope.
Angels are referenced as stars throughout the Bible and spirits of light. Fairies are accompanied by auras of light and twinkling 'fairy dust' about them. They are a reminder of my home, heaven, and the imagination God has given.
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Do you ever find yourself sitting and watching a butterfly, and then realize minutes have passed, finding yourself wondering why they are just so magical?
I do... all. the. time.
I'm drawn to art with butterflies (especially collage), I'm drawn to the colors, the way the wings flutter, their gentleness, their life stages and how we make that into a metaphor for life, all of it! I love them so much I even have a butterfly, a painted lady, tattooed on my right shoulder in memory of my grandmother...who also loved the butterfly.
But I am still drawn to the question of....why?
According to the light research I did from the
Butterfly Conservation site, and other pages around the web, butterflies have two purposes in nature, aside from being beautiful.
They pollenate, and they are food.
Yep, they are at the bottom of the food chain. They're food for birds, mammals, and reptiles. Like, food for everyone. One of the most wondrous and beautiful visions on the planet get eaten more than anything else.
I'm not trying to depress you with this news. When you sit and think about it, here's what is concluded:
They are a source for life. They feed everyone protein, vitamins, and nourishment.
They pollenate flowers so that their seeds will spread and the earth can continue to give back.
They bring beauty and peace to us in our gardens.
They share color and pattern throughout a mostly green, brown, and blue environment.
And, they give us hope through their life stages of metamorphosis. A demonstration that we are all beautiful from the inside out, and if we are truly ourselves we will shine brightly.
They are a symbol of rebirth, to start anew because they do! They live two lives, one as a caterpillar, the other as a butterfly.
You find so many butterflies in my work because of these thoughts. They will always make me wonder, but I think the simplest answer, they are BEAUTIFUL, is why God put them here. Yes, they have a purpose, to nourish, but that is part of the beauty.
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Yesterday I started a new semester at The Des Moines Art Center, teaching teens fantasy art. I've taught there for over a decade now ( O_O ) and I tried something I've never done before! It was super fun too, at least it got more interaction and conversation from the teens than usual.
I made three categories: symbol/animal/fantasy figure
There were ten in each category, folded up and placed in three cups. The kids divided a large sheet of drawing paper into eight sections and then drew whatever I pulled from the cups. Finally they picked one they liked and elaborated for the final.
I didn't draw with them during the eight, but I did sit and draw with them during the final. My personal favorite was
leaf + rabbit + elf
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Although I didn't get to draw this weekend, here are a few highlights from around our home.
Little bird added to our bathroom, next to his new buddy the Goldfinch.
New amazing rug found on
craigslist for the living room. In LOVE!
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Happy Halloween!
It used to be my favorite holiday. Seriously, over Christmas. Who needs gifts when you can dress up into your wildest fantasy? That's what I used to think.
The question I ask myself this morning, on Halloween, is:
The image on the left was painted in 1996. I was in 8th grade, obsessed with the movie "The Crow", listening to heavy metal, and addicted to Gen 13 and Witchblade comic books. I believe it was around that time I dressed like the Catwoman from Batman Returns for Halloween. Whip and all. Yep, I thought I was quite the bad girl. I hid behind a made up character I named "Raven", who I drew all the time, made stories for, and just simmered there. Angry and lost.
She followed me all through high school and into my freshman year of college.
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| 1997 |
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| 1998 |
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| 1999 |
In college she began to morph, just a little. And although I invented other stories to hide myself behind, she was always there. I tried so hard to hold on and not forget who I thought I was.
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| 2003 - Heavily into Manga and still learning watercolor |
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| 2004 - Style used for my senior project in college. |
When I left college the real soul searching started. I continued to practice witchcraft, but grew in my watercolor and figure drawing skills. I entered into some really difficult relationships, did my years of exploring the night life, and hit rock bottom.
Enter the church. Now wait, don't jump the gun yet. There was LIGHT. I lived in the shadows so long, it was refreshing and very unexpected. I was skeptical but continued to find faith in it. I always had faith I would find LOVE. Find TRUTH. Find WHO I WAS. Who I AM.
I can't paint the darkness like what's above anymore. I try, and this is what happens:
This image (just below), after many years of searching, is the truth of who I am. I hide behind masks to protect my heart, but it's golden because I am a child of light, the daughter of He who is LIGHT. I wander through the night, not because I am lost, because I'm hunting evil and snuffing it out to make the night safe and beautiful. I have wings so that I can fly, because I am free. These are the truths I have learned through the years, and it is because of these truths I can not go back. I am glad that Raven is now a face who smiles, who comforts, who flies in to bring LIGHT. Not death, pain, or sadness.
So Halloween you say? Sure, I'll dress up, I'll laugh and find the joy in it, but the holiday used to have such meaning to me - freedom to hide. I think today as we celebrate dressing up and scaring away ghosts and goblins, I see myself as a warrior who doesn't need to hide anymore behind costumes, it doesn't matter anymore. So, I'll happily eat some zombie finger pretzels and begin to look forward to Christmas, when family, love, light, and joy are all dancing about.
A peek into her progress thus far.
Totally lovin' the Daniel Smith sample sheet. She is pretty much
painted with colors from the sheet. I already know my favorite
Daniel Smith colors. AND I purchased the 238 color sheet.
MUAHahahahaha!
OOooo iridescent watercolors. Click the image to
see the sparkle! Curious to know how it will scan.
Remember, it's still BOGO over at my Etsy shop!!! I goes till the end of January! Hurry!
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