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Today's Daily Does of WTF is big enough to last a lifetime.

So... remember Republic, MO? Where they banned Slaughterhouse-Five: A Novel and Twenty Boy Summer? Where Speak was accused of being soft-core porn? (But luckily the Vonnegut Memorial Library is sending Republic students copies of Slaughterhouse Five.

Well... in 2009 a female middle school student accused a fellow student of rape. The school district made her write a letter of apology to the guy who raped her. Made her hand-deliver it, and then kicked her out for the rest of the year.

The next year, when she returned, her mother asked for special protection. Nope. She still had to take classes with the guy who raped her. So he raped her again. In the school library. And plead guilty to the charges, so was CONVICTED OF THE CRIME.

Let me repeat that-- HE ADMITTED HE RAPED HER. HE IS A CONVICTED RAPIST FOR THIS CRIME.

So, the girl sues the school. The school says the lawsuit if "frivolous".

I just... what? I mean, really, WHAT THE FUCK?

Honestly, the DA should be looking at criminal charges against the school district.

Hat tip to Pam for pointing this out to me.

Jezebel article about all this.
Springfield News-Leader article about this.
News-Leader article about the book banning.


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Don’t you dare come between this reader and his book.

Here’s Peter Lerangis, author of many fine books: Smiler’s Bones, wtf, Spy X: The Code, and two titles from the “39 Clues” series: The Sword Thief and The Viper’s Nest.

Flight of the Polar Bear

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Smarter than the average bear, waiting for fur seals to emerge from under the ice takes too long so a new approach is called for. This enterprising polar bear seems to have discovered a new source of nom-noms if he can just figure out how to get to them!

Amazing Drinking Bird

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The bird that never stops drinking. When I was a pre-teen I had a clear plastic bird that drank from a cup of water. You wet its beak and position it in front of a cup of water, and it did the rest. Science-theme toy shops had these. The colored water (which contains ether) would rise up the clear neck of the bird and cause it to tip forward and come into contact with the cup, as if drinking. The wetting of the beak caused the fluid to rise, tip over and the bird returned to the upright formal position to repeat itself endlessly. Because of the ether used inside of the glass bird (ether is flammable) these are not considered toys but are science tools. It is like a relative humidity indicator.

Monkeys Have Feelings Too

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These monkeys are taking a nap or maybe a break from each other. This image looks rather sad but I’m sure it’s just our human platitude telling us wrongly.

R2-Kitty Sez to Luke “Replay Message? What Message?”

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“Help us Obi-Wan! You’re our last hope!” This cat looks a little like R2-D2 android from Star Wars. This would make a kewl Halloween costume even if it isn’t very comfortable to wear.

 She’s Dating Who?

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This reminds me of lyrics from the Joe Jackson song “Is she really going out with him?” The lyrics continue with “…for if my eyes don’t deceive me there’s something going wrong around here!” The Joe Jackson song came out in Sept. 1978 and was the feature track on the album called “Look sharp!” which debuted the following year.

Swedish pop star duo “Roxette” breakthrough album also named “Look Sharp!” which came out in June of 1988 but that was a coincidence of naming the albums.

Evil Trees in the Park

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Have you ever felt that some trees are evil? This one I have no doubt about it.

What are You Going to Dress-up as for Halloween?

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I have friends that dress-up their pets for Halloween. The most-oft seen costume for dogs is of course, a hot dog. Another favorite is a body suit with large dinosaur scales and plates along its spine and spiky tail. –It’s …Dogzilla! Run, – Dogzilla!

Just Washed Your Hare?

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Washing one’s hair does this, it gets all poofy. Blow-drying just makes it worse. Rabbits can make a good pet but there are misconceptions about rabbits as pets. One is that they are low maintenance. This is not true; they require a certain amount of commitment and expense.

Did you know that rabbits can be litter-trained just like cats? They are in fact, better at being litter-trained than ferrets which I know first-hand, is a chore. Ferrets occasionally ‘forget’ to use the litter box.

Read about rabbit myths and decide for yourself.

Pets Must Wear a Collar But…

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Poor kitteh! -Must wear collars.

Some larger cities in Canada like Edmonton, Alberta in an effort to prevent pet homelessness have mandated that cats must wear collars with a City-issued license tag or be permanently marked with a tattoo or microchip. Licensing is cheap, but having an unlicensed dog or cat can be a $250.00 fine so, get used to that collar, kitteh!

You Wanna Go for a Ride?

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This reminds me of a visit to my brother-in-law’s homestead in Missouri. I was on vacation and during the day while they were at work, I did yard work for them. Cutting firewood, burning leaves tree stumps, mulching their garden, etc. I was a filthy mess at the end of the day when they came home. I needed a shower and clean clothes, seriously.

My brother-in-law came down to the end of the yard where I was working and said ‘Hey, d’you want to go for a ride? We’ll go get some fast food.’ I had thought ‘Great! -McDonald’s Drive-thru and come home with it so yeah, I’ll go.’

 I rinsed my hands and splashed my face with the garden hose and we all got in their car and, surprise! We drove for nearly two hours to Springfield, MO. to a very large Bass Pro store. I looked like a logger at the end of a workday… covered in dried mud, sweat, ashes and dirt on my shirt, holes in the knees of my pants, -it was embarrassing. Had I known I could have quick-showered and changed into something a little more acceptable for the public setting. But I should have known better because “Hey, you wanna go for a ride?” is a trick question with them and it is the same one they used on the family dog to get him into the car to go to the vet to be neutered!

Still, it’s Good to be the Pet

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Our animal pets really have it good you have to admit. To be fed, cared for and protected.

Caption Everything!

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Sometimes the funny does not have to be exclusively from animals, it comes from us.

Read the Signs

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Either way, the intrepid trespasser can expect to be served his own ‘nads on toast. I do have to wonder though what this place is storing that requires bloodthirsty command dogs and radiation hazard on the premises. Ask not ‘who let the dogs out.’ But ask ‘do they bite?’ My guess would be YES!

Doggie Dump?

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Water pollution is a threat, and most communities require that you pick-up your dog’s fecal droppings. Dog waste (poo, poop, feces, etc.) that is unscooped gets swept into storm drains with the rain and ends up in the rivers and lakes where it contributes greatly to high levels of coliform bacteria. This bacterial pollution chokes and kills aquatic plant life, which further poisons the water. It becomes more stagnate and unclean. Fish die. The water is unfit for swimming and recreation. Clean up after your dog. No emptying of your dog allowed.

But still, -the wording of this warning sign is rather unwieldy.

As Seen on TV - Home Shopping Channel Maybe?

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I bet that there must have been marital discord in this household. I would clearly have to side with the wife on this one though. The boat is blocking the driveway and the yard. I am pretty sure she made someone an eye-waterin’ deal on it to get that boat and wagon out of there.

When I got married, I had my own stuff. And so did my wife. It was two households coming together and yet I have to paraphrase a favorite comedian from television and say of this that most of my stuff didn’t survive the merger! That’s okay though. Most of my stuff was crap anyway. Just ask my wife, she’d validate this! (Just kidding, honey!)

Right Hand Knows Not…

…what the other hand is doing.

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 I am positive that giving up Sunday Services for Lent was not what was intended here.

Oh Dude! I’ve Got the Munchies!

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These go pretty well with herb brownies I am told. They look pretty good though. Damn, -I’m hungry!

This Could be ‘Engrish-worthy’

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My son had a musical keyboard that had what without a doubt would qualify for inclusion on Engrish.com. I really should submit this image to them and their site. Engrish.com is a web site whose motto is “Engrish for Suddenly Laugh.” The site is not meant to embarrass, harass or persist any stereotype of any particular race, society or people. It highlights poorly-translated product descriptions and products and is for entertainment purposes only. You have to love those Japanese and Chinese for they give us so many humorously-translated products! You should check out Engrish.com for that happiness feeling!

CAPTCHA

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This is awesome funny! I wonder how often certain letter combinations come up that actually spell something, either real words, vulgar or maybe even leet? This might make for an interesting study. What is “leetspeak?”

 Well for example, “4n¥0n3 (4r3 70 74|{3 4 7r¥ 47 £337$p34|{?”  is “Anyone care to take a try at leetspeak?” Study the leet closely, you will start to see the words obfuscated in other ASCII-characters. It takes patience and practice.

“CAPTCHA” on the other hand you may be more familiar with. It is the contrived acronym (read about acronyms) for “Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart.” It is a process that is intended to protect websites from spambots that might attempt to access restricted zones within the site.

This CAPTCHA image above suggests some bad potty-mouth expression and is rather funny.

The makers of CAPTCHA now recommend “reCAPTCHA” as the official implementation. This involves two (or more) scrambled words, thus is of a higher security assurance that a human has read/rendered the code correctly and not an optical reader which could as of yet, not complete this task.

No Bills, Please

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 That is Bill Gate on the top-left, Bill Cosby on the top-right and of course, Bill Clinton on the bottom.

Oh Really? They Can ‘Bill Me!’

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Funerals are expensive, so what’s another $200.00 more-or-less? So yeah, -send me the bill.

Expensive to Eat Out?

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 Germaine, but there really should be a decimal point in there somewhere.

Anything Greater than 4-cyl. Goes in the Lake

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That’ll keep our highways clean.

Cat: Dead or Alive. Maybe

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“Schrödinger’s cat” is a thought experiment. A paradox. In quantum mechanics this thought experiment describes a cat in a sealed box with a vial of deadly poison and a Geiger counter. The experiment describes a condition of a random event which occurs in which causes the vial of poison to shatter and this kills the cat, or not. It depends upon the earlier random event. A state can exist whereby the cat is both dead and alive simultaneously within the sealed box, yet if we open the box, the conditions are of either dead OR alive.’ This type of paradox is also referred to as ‘entanglement’ in quantum physics, but I think Mr. Schrödinger got into those stoned wheat crackers mentioned earlier.

Movie Parody

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You know, I have not seen “Brokeback Mountain.” For as much as I enjoyed Heath Ledger’s final performance as ‘ Joker’ in Batman: The Dark Knight, I really do feel that I should check out this movie too.

They Killed Kenny!

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Poor Kenny… he dies in every episode of the Comedy Central hit series “South Park.” And we’ve sent him to Iraq. We’re bastards!

Link courtesy of Galleycat.



What the hell? WTF? Are they serious? I'm going to bed with a sick headache.