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This series is called “Successful Queries” and I’m posting actual query letter examples that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting these query letter samples, we will also get to hear thoughts from the writer’s literary agent as to why the letter worked.
The 71st installment in this series is with agent Suzie Townsend (New Leaf Literary) for Makiia Lucier‘s historical young adult debut, A DEATH-STRUCK YEAR (HMH Books for Young Readers, March 2014). The book received both a School Library Journal Starred Review and a Library Media Connection Starred Review. It was named as a 2014 ABC Best Books for Children Selection, a 2014 ‘Indies Introduce New Voices’ Selection, a 2014 Publishers Lunch ‘Buzz Books’ Selection, and a Spring 2014 Kids’ Indie Next Pick.
(How many literary agents should a writer send their work to?)
Dear Ms. Townsend:
In the fall of 1918, Cleo Berry is completing her studies at St. Helen’s Hall, one of the oldest boarding schools in Portland, Oregon. When soldiers arrive at nearby Camp Lewis, they transport the Spanish Influenza, a mysterious strain of flu that strikes down young men and women with swift, shocking brutality.
Schools, churches, and theaters are shut down. Cleo disobeys her headmistress’s quarantine order, choosing to wait out the epidemic, and her family’s impending return, in the relative safety of their empty home. But it isn’t long before the Red Cross launches a plea for volunteers. For deeply personal reasons, Cleo finds she cannot ignore the call for help.
Her duties are clear — to search the neighborhoods and report cases of influenza to the grand auditorium, which has been transformed into an emergency hospital. There Cleo meets Lieutenant Edmund Parrish, a medical student who bears the permanent scars of war. In the coming weeks, the death toll mounts, and reality sets in. There is little help forthcoming from an overworked medical staff and a strained ambulance service. If Cleo is to help save lives, she must find the courage to navigate alone in a city turned ominous with fear.
A DEATH-STRUCK YEAR is a young adult historical novel, complete at 56,000 words.
My articles have appeared in the Portland Oregonian, Bookmarks Magazine, and Library Journal. I have a BA in journalism from the University of Oregon and an MLIS from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, where I studied literature for children. Additionally, I am a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators.
I have attached my complete manuscript. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Makiia Lucier
COMMENTARY FROM AGENT SUZIE TOWNSEND:
Now, historical YA is actually pretty tough. It’s tough to get the teenage sensibility just right while also staying true to the historical time period. As a result, I was wary when I realized it was historical YA. I wasn’t opposed to it, but it wasn’t something I was looking for either. For me to take on a historical project it would have to be something with amazing characters and really great plot and outstanding writing.
Then I got this query.
Here’s what I loved about it:
First: Spanish Influenza! I love that this is a time period I haven’t seen too many times before, but at the same time there’s a high stakes backdrop. (And can I say that when I read this for the first time, I was constantly freaking out when someone sneezed next to me on the subway.)
I also was really struck by the writing and pacing in this query. Makiia introduces the stakes (the flu that kills!) and then she sets up Cleo’s personal experience with it in a way that gradually built the sense of urgency. I felt so grabbed by the “personal reasons” (why would she put herself in danger!?) and this Lieutenant with scars of war (I admit I sort of love a guy with emotional baggage–at least in books).
I read the manuscript and loved it. There were parts that made me weep and of course, Edmund is rather swoony, and Cleo…I just loved her.
I wasn’t the only one. I sold this to Harcourt Children’s. The book is one of the ABA picks for New Voices.
(Book Payments and Royalties — Your Questions Answered.)
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This series is called “Successful Queries” and I’m posting actual query letter examples that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting these query letter samples, we will also get to hear thoughts from the writer’s literary agent as to why the letter worked.
The 70th installment in this series is with agent Kate Testerman (KT Literary) for Rebecca Petruck‘s middle grade novel, STEERING TOWARD NOVEL (Abrams/Amulet, May 13, 2014). The book was chosen as a American Booksellers Association Indies Introduce New Voices selection as well as a Spring 2014 Kids’ Indie Next List selection. It was among Vanity Fair’s Hollywood’s “10 Books We’d Like to See Made Into Films.”
(16 things to do prior to sending your work out to agents & editors.)
Ms. Testerman,
I’ve been “attending” WriteOnCon the last few days and appreciated your frank and funny advice about query letters. I hope you will be interested in my middle grade novel, STEERING TOWARD NORMAL.
STEERING TOWARD NORMAL is a 56,000-word coming-of-age story set in the world of 4-H steer competitions. (I’m from Minnesota–we know cows.) It begins when eighth-graders Diggy Lawson and Wayne Schley discover they have the same father. STEERING TOWARD NORMAL is the tale of how the boys go from being related to being brothers.
Diggy’s life may not be typical, but he’s content. He hangs out with Pop and the county’s farmers, raises steers to compete, and daydreams about July Johnston, high school senior and girl of his dreams. Hardly anyone teases him anymore about how his mom abandoned him on Pop’s doorstep and skipped town on a tractor.
Then Wayne gets dumped at Pop’s, too. Suddenly, Diggy has a half brother messing things up. Wayne rattles Diggy’s easy relationship with Pop, threatens his chances at the state fair, and horns in on his girl. Diggy believes family is everything, but he’s pretty sure Wayne doesn’t count.
The first ten pages of STEERING TOWARD NORMAL won first place in the SCBWI Carolinas Writing Contest, judged by Sarah Shumway, Senior Editor at Katherine Tegan Books.
I am a graduate of the Creative Writing MFA program at UNC Wilmington, editor of the SCBWI Carolinas quarterly newsletter, and member of the NC Writer’s Network. My work has appeared in Our State magazine.
My professional background is in PR and marketing, having promoted new fiction and nonfiction authors with [redacted] and marketed magazines online for [redacted]. Additionally, I was president of my 4-H chapter in fifth grade. This is a multiple submission.
I look forward to hearing from you about BLUE MOO.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Petruck
Commentary from Kate Testerman
Rebecca got off to a great start by referencing a conference where I’d spoken, and her query showed she’d taken my advice to heart. The first paragraph of the book’s description does a great job of setting the story in a specific place (with a fun parenthetical that shows the author’s sense of humor). The hook line of “BLUE MOO is the tale of how the boys go from being related to being brothers” is something we’re still using to describe the story, many steps later on the publishing road.
Rebecca goes deeper in the next two paragraphs, showing me what Diggy’s life had been, and how it changes when Wayne comes to live with him and Pop. The line “Diggy believes family is everything, but he’s pretty sure Wayne doesn’t count” is an almost perfect example of the voice that so hooked me on my first reading of the partial, through my reading of the full, and why I offered representation.
Of course, it didn’t hurt that Rebecca had won a writing contest with this material, judged by an editor I knew and respected, and was a member of the SCBWI, as well as a past member of 4-H herself!
As with all great queries, though, this one also touched a personal note for me, as my husband was a 4-H member and farm boy in his youth, and reading about these two boys helped me better understand his childhood.
(Learn how you can support and help a new author with their book release.)
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This series is called “Successful Queries” and I’m posting actual query letter examples that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting these query letter samples, we will also get to hear thoughts from the writer’s literary agent as to why the letter worked.
The 69th installment in this series is with agent Katie Shea Boutillier (Donald Maass Literary) for Kathryn Craft’s novel, THE ART OF FALLING (2014, Sourcebooks Landmark). Kirkus said of the book, “Craft’s debut novel lovingly traces the aesthetics of movement and gently explores the shattering pain of despair. A sensitive study of a woman choreographing her own recovery.”
Kathryn Craft is the author of two novels from Sourcebooks Landmark: The Art of Falling, and While the Leaves Stood Still (Spring 2015). She works as a developmental editor at Writing-Partner.com and serves on the board of the Philadelphia Writers Conference, as book club liaison for the Women’s Fiction Writers Association, hosts writing retreats for women, and speaks often about writing. Find her on Twitter.
GIVEAWAY: Kathryn is excited to give away a free copy of her novel to a random commenter. Comment within 2 weeks; winners must live in Canada/US to receive the book by mail. You can win a blog contest even if you’ve won before. (Please note that comments may take a little while to appear; this is normal).
Dear Katie Shea:
She had the talent, she had the drive, and she had the opportunity. Only one thing stood between Penelope Sparrow and the dance career of her dreams: her imperfect body. When she wakes up in a Philadelphia hospital after what should have been a deadly fourteen-story fall, Penelope pushes through the pain to move again. That’s what dancers do. Harder to surmount is the dark possibility of what happened out on that ledge, hinted at by each muscle memory she triggers. She can no longer dance around her body issues: the same “sturdy thighs” and “mambo hips” that derailed her have now saved her life, and whether she can use them to create a more meaningful career becomes a fight to save her soul.
THE ART OF FALLING draws on aspects of my past: as both dancer and dance critic, as the wife of a suicide victim, and as a modern woman bombarded by advice about how to achieve the perfect body. Dance is a hot pop culture phenomenon in top-rated television (Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance), award-winning film (Black Swan), and bestselling nonfiction (Apollo’s Angels by Jennifer Homans). Body image issues continue to make headlines and inform advertising choices (Dove’s “Campaign for Beauty”). The story will offer hope to readers with displaced careers who are now trying to reconnect with their passions. In style, it will resonate with the readers of Ann Patchett, Anne Tyler, and Elizabeth Berg.
I’ve had short pieces published, both fiction and creative nonfiction, and I’m a contributing editor at The Blood-Red Pencil blog. The Sewanee Writers’ Conference accepted my work; I studied there with Pulitzer Prize nominee Diane Johnson and National Book Award winner Alice McDermott. I serve on the boards of the Philadelphia Writers Conference and the Greater Lehigh Valley Writers Group, and speak often on a variety of writing topics.
I’m seeking an agent who shares my enthusiasm for upmarket fiction driven by women’s issues. Emily Rapoport, Associate Editor at Berkley Publishing Group, is currently reviewing the full manuscript, which is complete at 99,700 words and ready to send. Congratulations on your new position at the Maass agency. My newly revised manuscript benefited from my three-day interaction with Don and his wife Lisa at The Write Stuff conference last March. Thanks so much, in advance, for your consideration. The synopsis and first five pages follow my signature block.
Sincerely,
Kathryn Craft
Katie’s breakdown:
Paragraph 1: This is an awesome first sentence. It connects me to the main character immediately. By the second sentence I’m hooked. A conflict has been presented. Then she gives me the setting and a tragic event that happened to the main character. Something quite unusual! Kathryn does such a lovely job incorporating Penny’s struggle for movement to her personal struggle to connect with her passion and to herself. She leaves this paragraph with me wondering what will happen to Penelope Sparrow?
Paragraph 2: Kathryn makes a personal connection to her novel with her background and her life experiences. I always love seeing this! Kathryn connects her novel with the universe by using her dance and body image hook. She then narrows her writing style as similar to best-selling authors.
Paragraph 3: Kathryn has a strong platform, has worked with highly respected published authors, and has a great following among other writers.
Paragraph 4: Mentioning that an editor is already looking at it is always a plus to agents. We love to know that others in our industry are interested in reading this novel. Then congratulations—how sweet! This is a smart move by Kathryn. It shows that she has researched me and knows my most recent career move. Kathryn makes another smart connection to my boss, Donald Maass, and shows that she used his teachings of how to write a novel to get where she is today.
GIVEAWAY: Kathryn is excited to give away a free copy of her novel to a random commenter. Comment within 2 weeks; winners must live in Canada/US to receive the book by mail. You can win a blog contest even if you’ve won before. (Please note that comments may take a little while to appear; this is normal).
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Other writing/publishing articles & links for you:
Want to build your visibility and sell more books?
Create Your Writer Platform shows you how to
promote yourself and your books through social
media, public speaking, article writing, branding,
and more. Order the book from WD at a discount.
This series is called “Successful Queries” and I’m posting actual query letter examples that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting these query letter samples, we will also get to hear thoughts from the writer’s literary agent as to why the letter worked.
The 68th installment in this series is with agent Allison Hunter (Inkwell Management) for Megan Mulry’s romance, A ROYAL PAIN (2012, Sourcebooks Landmark, part of the Unruly Royals series), which, in a starred review, Publishers Weekly called “a delightful love story… worth reading again and again.”
Dear Ms. Witherspoon,
When I learned you represent both Lionel Shriver and Eloisa James, I was overjoyed! I have yet to meet anyone who has actually read both, much less anyone who adores them (as you must; as I do). The book club crowd assumes James is fluff, and the romantics suppose Shriver thorny. If you were in any way responsible for the sale of We Need to Talk About Kevin, I salute you. I have lost friends over that book: married women who were unable to speak honestly about the cruelty, desperation, fear, and power struggles that define contemporary marriage and motherhood. I recently joined RWA and heard Eloisa James speak in Orlando. Citing her eloquence and intellectual vigor has been terrifically effective in my frequent attempts to refute the absurd stereotype that genre fiction is trash. Her books are pure pleasure.
I have just completed my second manuscript and I would be honored if you would consider representing me. A ROYAL PAIN is an 87,000-word contemporary Regency* romance. Bronte Talbott is a confident New York advertising executive who abandons her perfectly good life to be with her boyfriend in Chicago. Once there, she quickly realizes that it is her desire, far more than his interest, that holds the relationship together. After several months of heart-hardening, post-breakup depression, she vows to embrace brutal honesty in all future skirmishes with men. No forays into emotional minefields. No grand gestures. Soon after swearing off messy entanglements, she meets Max Howard, an irresistible British doctoral student with whom she enjoys a fabulous, no-strings-attached, ten-week affair prior to his scheduled return to England. Her efforts at emotional compartmentalization are foiled when Max confesses a much deeper affection: when he asks her to return to the UK with him, she is paralyzed with fear and refuses. Shortly after he departs, she discovers he is, in fact, the 19th Duke of Norfolk.
She makes a feeble attempt to contact him, at first ashamed of herself for not reciprocating his declaration when she had the chance, then angry at his deception. They meet again a year later in New York and London and this time they try to rebuild their relationship with both emotional and intellectual honesty. Against a glamorous, intimate, trans-Atlantic backdrop, they are finally able to overcome the obstacles of familial duty, false starts, and unexpected tragedy. This is a stand-alone novel, but part of a series that will feature other members of the Howard family, both contemporary and historical.
I earned my BA in English Literature from Northwestern University in 1988 and worked at The New Yorker and Boston Magazine before moving to London and switching to a career in corporate finance. Since returning to the US in 2001, I have been a full-time mother. I am a member of RWA and Florida Romance Writers.
Thank you in advance for your kind consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Very sincerely,
Megan Mulry
* I am enamored with Regency literary devices—balls, doyennes, meddling friends, intricate meals, and high fashion—and have tried to weave them seamlessly into a contemporary world. Hence, the genre mash-up.
COMMENTARY FROM AGENT ALLISON HUNTER
Background from Allison: Megan originally queried Inkwell Management co-agent Kim Witherspoon. At the time the letter was sent [fall 2010], I was Kim’s assistant. I volunteered to be the first agency read on the manuscript, because once I read the query, I was completely hooked! I read the manuscript and fell in love. I let Kim know I thought we should pursue it as an agency, and she encouraged me to take the lead, given my obvious enthusiasm.
Regarding the query: I read Megan Mulry’s query soon after a break-up. I was deep in self-pity mode when I opened Megan’s email and met her heroine Bronte Talbott, who rebounded from her break-up with a sexy British grad student…who happened to be a royal. I was instantly hooked. I wanted—needed—to learn more about how Bronte found her happy ending.
At the time, I didn’t have a lot of experience with the true “category” romance genre, but I had long been a fan of commercial women’s fiction (what we used to call “chick lit,” until the term became passé). Megan’s novel appealed to me because it reminded me of the women’s fiction I loved, but with a strong, confident heroine and a sexy edge. Plus I couldn’t resist the royal connection—when I read Megan’s query, Prince William and Kate Middleton were newly engaged, and I couldn’t get enough of royal romance. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Megan was clearly a strong writer (and had worked for The New Yorker, catnip for any agent!). I knew I wanted to read more.
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This series is called “Successful Queries” and I’m posting actual query letter examples that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting these query letter samples, we will also get to hear thoughts from the writer’s literary agent as to why the letter worked.
The 67th installment in this series is with agent Jim McCarthy (Dystel & Goderich Literary) for Livia Blackburne’s young adult fantasy, MIDNIGHT THIEF (July 2014, Disney-Hyperion).
(Agents share their query letter pet peeves.)
Dear Mr. McCarthy
I noticed on your Publishers Marketplace page that you represent quite a few young adult books with magical elements. Because of this, I am submitting for your consideration Midnight Thief, a 74,000-word YA fantasy that will appeal to fans of Kristin Cashore’s Graceling and Tamora Pierce’s Tortall series.
To Kyra, high walls and locked doors are not obstacles, but invitations. She specializes in nighttime raids, using her sharp senses and extraordinary agility to break into Forge’s most well-guarded homes. Then she meets James, the deadly but intriguing Head of the Assassin’s Guild. He has a job for Kyra: infiltrate the supposedly impenetrable Palace compound. The pay is good, and the challenge appealing. It’s the perfect job for someone of her talents.
But as Kyra establishes herself in the Guild, her “perfect job” starts to unravel. Her assignments become increasingly violent, demanding more than Kyra is willing to give. Then Forge is attacked by Demon Riders — barbarians riding bloodthirsty wildcats — and Kyra suspects the Guild is to blame. When a failed mission lands Kyra in the Palace dungeons, she faces an impossible decision. If she cooperates with the authorities against the Guild, James will kill her family, but if Kyra does nothing, she’ll see Forge overrun by Demon Riders. As the city falls into chaos, Kyra uncovers a secret from her past – a forgotten link to the barbarian invaders that will test Kyra’s loyalties and ultimately challenge the limits of her humanity.
I am a doctoral candidate at MIT doing my dissertation research on the neural basis of reading in children. I also write a blog on the brain science of creative writing, which has been featured by several industry websites, including Science Magazine, Nathan Bransford’s blog, and The Book Deal. My essay “From Words to Brain” was published by 40k books in English and Italian.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Livia Blackburne
THOUGHTS FROM AGENT JIM MCCARTHY
One of my favorite things about Livia is how incredibly thorough and thoughtful her approach is to every aspect of her writing and the business. So it’s no surprise to look back at her original query and see that it’s pretty much flawless.
She starts by doing two things that I love: indicating that she chose to query me specifically for a reason that makes sense (I do represent a lot of YA books with magical elements, and that is what she has written) and then giving comp titles that make sense and are presented in a way that doesn’t feel braggy. So in paragraph one I already know she’s serious and this is a query I will take very seriously.
Then she launches into a description that is concise, clear, and…exciting. That “To Kyra…” line tells us so much about Kyra—that she’s an adventurer, she may have a criminal side, and she’s probably pretty feisty. I was probably already ready to request this. Then the rest of the description deepens that feeling and does something even more impressive: it captures an epic fantasy novel’s story and world in 193 words without being vague OR confusing. MIDNIGHT THIEF is a great novel, and it plays out in an incredibly well-realized alternate world. Here, though, Livia isn’t precious about trying to relay everything her novel does. She strips it down to its core and presents us with a bare bones synopsis that still manages to capture the feeling of the book and the attitude of the main character. I’m all in.
But she still has a couple tricks up her sleeve. This bio fascinated me. A doctoral candidate at MIT? A blog on the brain science of creative writing? Let’s see what this smarty can pull off! I continue to be dazzled and surprised not only by Livia’s creativity and writing but her dedication, analytical mind, and commitment to learning about the business of publishing in addition to sharpening her craft. Her query was just the tip of the iceberg, but it’s a gleaming point that gives great hints to what lies beneath.
(Can you re-query an agent after she’s rejected you in the past?)
Writing books/novels for kids & teens? There are hundreds
of publishers, agents and other markets listed in the
latest Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market.
Buy it online at a discount.
Other writing/publishing articles & links for you:
Want to build your visibility and sell more books?
Create Your Writer Platform shows you how to
promote yourself and your books through social
media, public speaking, article writing, branding,
and more. Order the book from WD at a discount.
This series is called “Successful Queries”
and I’m posting actual query letter examples that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting these query letter samples, we will also get to hear thoughts from the writer’s literary agent as to why the letter worked.
The 66th installment in this series is with agent Sara Megibow (Nelson Literary) for Stefanie Gaither’s young adult novel, FALLS THE SHADOW
(Sept 2014, Simon & Schuster Books For Young Readers). Kristi Helvig, author of BURN OUT, said of the book: “[It's] a smart, futuristic thriller that grabs you and doesn’t let go until the very last page. This is a fantastic debut.”
(Agents share their query letter pet peeves.)
Dear Ms. Megibow,
I’m currently seeking representation for my YA novel, FALLS THE SHADOW. Given your interest in science fiction, I thought it might be a good fit for your list.
When Cate Benson was twelve, her sister died. Two hours after the funeral, they picked up Violet’s replacement, and the family made it home in time for dinner and a game of cards.
It’s the year 2055, and Cate’s parents are among the wealthy elite who can afford to give their children a sort of immortality—by cloning them at birth. So this new Violet has the same smile. The same laugh. That same perfect face. Thanks to advancements in mind-uploading technology, she even has all the same memories as the girl she replaced.
She also might have murdered the most popular girl in school.
Or at least, that’s what the paparazzi and the crazy anti-cloning protestors want everyone to think: that clones are violent, unpredictable monsters. Cate is used to hearing all that, though. She’s used to standing up for her sister too, and she’s determined to do it now—even if proving Violet’s innocence means taking on those protestors and anyone else attacking her family. But when her own life is threatened—not by protestors, but by the very scientists who created her sister’s clone—Cate starts questioning everything she thought she knew about the cloning movement. About herself. About her sister.
And the answers she finds reveal a more sinister purpose for her sister’s copy—and her own replacement—than she ever could have imagined.
FALLS THE SHADOW is complete at 80,000 words, and is the first in a planned series. The manuscript is available, in part or full, upon request. Thanks for your time and consideration!
Best,
Stefanie Gaither
COMMENTARY BY AGENT SARA MEGIBOWfind it on Amazon already
.]
(Query letter FAQs answered.)
Need help crafting an awesome plot for your
story? Check out the new acclaimed resource
by Ronald Tobias, 20 Master Plots.
Other writing/publishing articles & links for you:How NOT to Pitch Your Book.
Examining an Excellent Pitch.Genre Author Taylor Stevens Explains “How I Got My Agent.”How I Got My Agent: Oksana Marafioti, Author of AMERICAN GYPSY.
Sell More Books by Building Your Author Platform.
Follow Chuck Sambuchino on Twitter or find him
on Facebook. Learn all about
his writing guides on how to get published, how to find a literary agent, and how to write a query letter.
Want to build your visibility and sell more books? Create Your Writer PlatformOrder the book from WD at a discount.
This series is called “Successful Queries”
and I’m posting actual query letter examples that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting these query letter samples, we will also get to hear thoughts from the writer’s literary agent as to why the letter worked.
The 64th installment in this series is with agent Julia Kenny (Dunow, Carlson and Lerner Literary) for Karen Harrington’s debut middle-grade novel, SURE SIGNS OF CRAZY
(August 2013, Little Brown Books for Young Readers) which received starred reviews from Kirkus, Booklist and School Library Journal. Learn more at
karenharringtonbooks.com or through
Karen’s Twitter.
GIVEAWAY: Karen is excited to give away a free copy of her novel to a random commenter. Comment within 2 weeks; winners must live in Canada/US to receive the book by mail. You can win a blog contest even if you’ve won before. (Please note that comments may take a little while to appear; this is normal).
Dear Ms. Thoma:
I’m seeking representation for SURE SIGNS OF CRAZY, the follow-up to my first published novel Janeology, which received excellent reviews from such publications as Booklist who called it, “fascinating.” I think this story might appeal to you because it explores themes about the lifelong repercussions of parents’ actions like Kim Edwards’ The Memory Keeper’s Daughter – only this story asks what would happen if you lost your mother and had to grow up without her?
SURE SIGNS OF CRAZY opens on the day Sarah Nelson receives a marriage proposal. At first, she sparks with happiness. But when the proposal not only begs her to be his wife, but also “the mother of his children,” Sarah’s spirit quickly plummets. As the child of an institutionalized, mentally ill mother, Sarah’s always had an uneasy relationship with the concept of motherhood.
While weighing her answer to his proposal, she recalls the house where she turned 12, the house where she found herself waiting: waiting to be kissed by a boy, waiting to look grown up, waiting for her father to stop drinking away his sorrow, and perhaps most fearfully, waiting to go crazy like her mother.
Complete at 69,000 words, SURE SIGNS OF CRAZY tells the story of one pivotal summer during Sarah’s life as she struggles to come-of-age in the shadow of her mother’s illness and her father’s secrecy. This novel will appeal to readers of strong upmarket women’s fiction like Elizabeth Flock’s Me and Emma, Kaye Gibbons’ Ellen Foster and Jayne Pupek’s Tomato Girl.
Per your submission preferences, please find the first pages attached.
Sincerely,
Karen Harrington
COMMENTARY FROM AGENT JULIA KENNY OF DUNOW, CARLSON AND LERNER LITERARYSURE SIGNS OF CRAZY
tells the story of one pivotal summer during Sarah’s life as she struggles to come-of-age in the shadow of her mother’s illness and her father’s secrecy. I knew I had to take a look.
Incidentally, though the query pitched the novel as women’s fiction, it didn’t have that “looking back on my childhood” point of view and mature voice throughout that you find in adult fiction. Strong middle-grade voices, by comparison, are generally told in the present, as was the bulk of Karen’s book. Sarah is so delightful and insightful in the way that children often are, and my gut told me that – while adults will also fall in love with her – we had to ensure that a younger audience got to meet her, too.
GIVEAWAY: Karen is excited to give away a free copy of her novel to a random commenter. Comment within 2 weeks; winners must live in Canada/US to receive the book by mail. You can win a blog contest even if you’ve won before. (Please note that comments may take a little while to appear; this is normal).
Are you a subscriber to Writer’s Digest magazine yet? If not, get a discounted one-year sub hereOther writing/publishing articles & links for you:6 Reasons Being a Pirate is Like Being a Writer.
Agent Interview: Adam Schear of Defiore & Co. Seeks Nonfiction and Fiction. Don’t Invent a Series Character You Wouldn’t Marry.Sell More Books by Building Your Writer Platform.Follow Chuck Sambuchino on Twitter or find him
on Facebook. Learn all about
his writing guides on how to get published, how to find a literary agent, and how to write a query letter.
Want to build your visibility and sell more books? Create Your Writer PlatformOrder the book from WD at a discount.
This series is called “Successful Queries”
and I’m posting actual query letter examples that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting these query letter samples, we will also get to hear thoughts from the writer’s literary agent as to why the letter worked.
The 63rd installment in this series is with agent Sarah Davies (Greenhouse Literary
) for Ashley Elston’s young adult thriller,
THE RULES FOR DISAPPEARING (Disney-Hyperion, May 2013).
Find Ashley on Twitter here.
Dear Ms. Davies,
The first placement sucked. The suits dropped us in some remote part of Ohio and expected us to fit right in. Found out real quick why you never hear anything interesting about Ohio.
The second placement was better. At least it was a decent city. Learned a hard lesson there. When the suits tell you not to use the Internet, you should listen.
The third placement was the longest and the hardest to leave. The suits yanked us from there minutes before my Homecoming date arrived. I still wonder how long he waited for me.
The fourth placement was the beginning of the end. I tried hard to fit in, but that led to making friends and then really awkward questions like, “What’s wrong with your mom?”
The fifth placement only lasted a matter of weeks. Mom was drunk more than sober and my little sister moved into a catatonic state.
We’re in our sixth placement now. I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to pull it off, but I’m not running anymore. I’m done with Witness Protection. No matter what it takes.
THE RULES FOR DISAPPEARING
is a young adult contemporary novel complete at 72,000 words. The first five pages are included below. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Ashley Elston
Agent Sarah Davies’s Commentary:
Writing books for kids? There are hundreds of publishers, agents and other markets listed in the latest Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market.Other writing/publishing articles & links for you:NEW Literary Agent Seeks Clients: Marisa Cleveland of The Seymour Agency.
Why You Shouldn’t Imitate Others’ Writing Styles (Except to Cut Adverbs!)Author Lisa Tenzin-Dolma Explains How She Got Her Pet/Dog Book Published.Novelist Jamie Mason Asks “Is Your Book Your Baby?” Her Answer: NO.Sell More Books by Building Your Writer Platform.Follow Chuck Sambuchino on Twitter or find him
on Facebook. Learn all about
his writing guides on how to get published, how to find a literary agent, and how to write a query letter.
Want to build your visibility and sell more books? Create Your Writer PlatformOrder the book from WD at a discount.
This series is called “Successful Queries” and I’m posting actual query letters that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter worked.
The 57th installment in this series is with agent Jen Rofe (Andrea Brown Literary) for Nick James's YA novel, Skyship Academy: The Pearl Wars (Sept. 2011; Flux). The book was called "a fast-paced adventure that delivers solid action sequences throughout" by Publishers Weekly. Read more
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 55th installment in this series is with agent Roseanne Wells (Marianne
Strong Literary Agency) for Phil Edwards's and Matt
Kraft's book, Dumpemployed (June
28, 2011; Running Press). Learn more at Dumbemployed.com.
Dear Ms. Wells,
Are you dumbemployed? Being dumbemployed is all about the jobs you love to hate. Over
the past year, Dumbemployed.com has published over 1,500 of the weirdest and funniest
stories about work. If you’ve ever complained about your job, wanted to hide under
your desk, or laughed at a coworker’s quirks, then chances are that you’re dumbemployed
too.
We're writing because we noted your interest in funny, quirky books about pop culture.
That's Dumbemployed in a nutshell—it's
every story too funny to leave at the watercooler.
Limited to three hundred characters, each Dumbemployed story is a Twitter-sized chat
around the water cooler. Categorized into five distinct aspects of work—Bosses,
Customers, Just Dumb, Overtime, and Weird Shift—every
story reflects a different side of life on the job. Whether it's slinging burgers
at the drive thru, dodging bosses at a corporate conference, or even reading query
letters from a stranger, Dumbemployed covers the gamut of work.
Each story begins and ends the same way, starting with "At work today," and ending
with "I’m dumbemployed," making an anthology great reading material during a dull
moment on the job. Imagine the TV show "The Office" as a Facebook status update, and
you'll understand Dumbemployed. We're all dumbemployed sometimes—it’s
recognizing it that makes it bearable.
For the past year, our company has compiled and edited Dumbemployed.com. We've gotten
a great response across the web and continue to grow virally on the site, on Facebook,
and on Twitter.
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 54th installment in this series is with agent Elisabeth Weed (Weed
Literary) for Meg Mitchell Moore’s debut
novel, The
Arrivals (May 25, 2011; Reagan Arthur Books). Learn
more at megmitchellmoore.com, or through
Meg's Twitter.
Dear Ms. Weed:
My name is Meg Moore, and I'm writing to you to see if you'd be interested in taking
a look at my first novel.
The novel, THE ARRIVALS, tells the story of Ginny and William Owen, retired parents
of three grown children, who lead a peaceful life in Burlington, Vermont. But one
summer, when their oldest daughter Lillian brings her two young children to her parents'
house to escape her crumbling marriage, things start to get complicated. It's not
just Lillian turning to Ginny and William for help. Lillian's younger brother Stephen
is preparing for fatherhood with his successful, ambitious and misunderstood wife
Jane when pregnancy complications extend a weekend visit to his parents into a weeks-long
bed rest. Rachel, the youngest Owen sibling, who is trying to forge an independent
life in New York City, needs help of a different sort: money, and lots of it.
As Lillian embarks on a friendship with a young priest, tension builds between Ginny
and William over how much to allow the lives of their children to intrude into theirs,
and between the siblings as they realize that even as adults they are competing for
their parents' help and attention. By the end of the summer, each character has had
to learn how to negotiate the precarious landscape of family love and loyalty. Each
has had to re-examine his or her assumptions about balancing professional success
and parenting. And everyone has discovered, in his own way, that a parent never stops
being a parent.
One reader has compared the novel's themes to those of Heidi Pitlor's THE BIRTHDAYS,
and I think it will find an audience in readers of that novel as well as novels by
Joanna Trollope or Carol Shields—writers who use domestic settings to illuminate universal
themes.
I work as a freelance writer in Newburyport, Mass., where I live with my husband and
my three little gi
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 53rd installment in this series is with agent Sara Megibow (Nelson
Literary) for Miranda Kenneally's YA novel, Score (which
may be retitled), a story about a girl who becomes quarterback of her high school
football team. The book comes out in November 2011 from Sourcebooks Fire.
Dear Ms. Megibow:
My name is Jordan Woods, I’m seventeen, and last year, I blew it in the final seconds
of the Tennessee state championship football game. This year, I can’t let that happen
or I’ll never get a scholarship to play ball in college. I have a lot to prove, what,
with an NFL star for a father – a father who doesn’t think I should be playing football.
Why wouldn’t a famous quarterback want his kid to follow in the family footsteps?
I’m a girl.
But I’ve been playing quarterback since I was seven, so everyone’s gotten used to
me by now. I’m a normal teenage girl. Well, as normal as I can be. I mean, obviously
I think Justin Timberlake is a mega hunk, but I’m also over six feet tall and can
launch a football fifty yards.
Other ways I’m not normal? A girl who hangs with an entire football team must hook
up all the time, right?
Nope.
I’ve never had a boyfriend and most people think I’m gay. Hell, I’ve never even kissed
a guy. But that might be about to change because the hottest guy, Ty Green, just moved
here from Texas. Just the sight of him makes me want to simultaneously fly and barf.
It turns out that he’s also a quarterback, and he’s a hell of a lot better than me.
Last year, Ty led his team to win the Texas state championship.
And I’m scared. What if Coach gives my position away? What if Ty isn’t interested
in me? The worst fear of all? What if Ty distracts me from my dreams of playing ball
in college?
And why is my best friend, our star wide receiver, acting so strangely all of a sudden?
SCORE, my 67,000-word YA novel, explores when it’s okay to make compromises in life,
and when to take risks. My protagonist writes poetry (it’s a hobby that she keeps
hidden from her teammates), so some sections of the manuscript are written in verse.
While Catherine Murdock’s DAIRY QUEEN series also focuses on a f
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 52nd installment in this series is with agent Miriam Kriss (Irene
Goodman Literary) for her author, Karen
Mahoney, for the YA urban fantasy novel, The
Iron Witch (Feb. 2011, Flux).
Dear Ms. Kriss:
As you represent strong authors in the adult urban fantasy genre such as Vicki Pettersson
and Lilith Saintcrow, and your agency's website also states an interest in Young Adult
fiction, I thought you might be interested in seeing my contemporary fantasy novel
for older YA readers, THE IRON WITCH.
Freak. That's what they called seventeen-year-old Dona Underwood in high school
after a horrific fey attack that killed her father when she was just a child. Her
injuries and subsequent rehabilitation resulted in magically enhanced strength, thanks
to the iron tattoos branding her hands and arms.
Now, after ten years of wishing for a normal life, she finally has to accept her role
in the centuries-old war against the darkest outcasts of Faerie. Aided by a gorgeous
half-fey dropout and a depressed biker-chick vampire, Dona must race to save her best
friend's life – even if it means betraying one of the world's greatest secrets and
confronting the very thing that destroyed her family.
Although I am from London in the United Kingdom, I think my writing will find a more
natural market in the United States. THE IRON WITCH is set in the imaginary city of
Ironbridge in Western Massachusetts, and I hope it will appeal to readers of Melissa
Marr and Holly Black. The novel is complete at 65,500 words and I have just begun
work on another book set in the same world.
As per the current submission guidelines, I have pasted the first ten pages and a
detailed synopsis below, and would be delighted to send the full manuscript at your
request. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Karen Mahoney
Commentary from Miriam
For me this is a textbook example of an ideal cover letter. It's
very clear she knows who I represent and understands how it relates to her own projec
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 51st installment in this series is with agent Jennifer Schober (Spencerhill
Associates, Ltd.) for her author, Kristina
McMorris, for the novel, Letters
From Home (Feb. 2011)—a
book Publishers Weekly called "Ambitious
and compelling...[a] sweeping debut novel;" while RT Book Reviews said
"Letters From Home is a beautifully told story."
Dear Ms. Schober,
Jane Porter referred me to you and your agency. As a 2007 and 2008 RWA Golden Heart
finalist, I am seeking representation for my novel. (Please see attached sample chapters.)
LETTERS FROM HOME is a 90,000-word WWII love story with a twist, aptly summarized
as The Notebook meets Saving Private Ryan. Original Film (producer of Made
of Honor, Vantage Point) has expressed interest in optioning the film rights,
an avenue I look forward to exploring upon securing new representation. I understand
you are a fan of both historical and women's fiction, and therefore believe your agency
would be a great fit.
Set against the emotionally charged backdrop of World War II, poetic university student
Liz Stephens falls deeply in love through a yearlong letter exchange with infantryman
Morgan McClain. Equally enamored, the Midwest soldier stationed in Europe relies solely
on their correspondence to survive the gruesome realities of war. Yet between the
scrawled lines of familial hardships and heartrending tragedies lies the one secret
Liz must keep, or risk losing everyone she holds dear. As the nation nears victory,
each will learn the price of freedom while uncovering the deceptions of love and war.
LETTERS FROM HOME is a story inspired by my grandparents' epistolary courtship. I
have already garnered blurbs for the manuscript from such notables as New York
Times bestselling author James Pratt, screenwriter Mike Rich (Finding Forrester, The
Rookie), and the Honorable Lynn "Buck" Compton (author and famed WWII veteran
from Band of Brothers).
From 2001-2008, I was the host and a writer for the WB’s weekly televi
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 50th installment in this series is with agent Steven Malk (Writers
House) and his author, Jennifer Trafton, for
the kids novel, The
Rise and Fall of Mount Majestic (Dec. 2010)—a book
that received a starred review from Publishers Weekly and was called "a
funny, witty read" by The Chicago Tribune. The book is a middle grade fantasy,
and illustrated by Brett Helquist.
Jennifer is excited to give away a free book to one
random commenter. Comment within one week; winners must live in Canada/US48 to receive
the print book by mail. You can win a blog contest even if you've won before.
Professor Barnabas Quill, Historian
Royal Library
Candlenut Village Square
Island at the Center of Everything
Most Esteemed Sir:
I would like to present for your consideration my true account of the recent dramatic
events experienced by my native land, the Island at the Center of Everything, and
her illustrious though sometimes self-indulgent monarch King Lucas the Loftier. By
now you have perhaps heard news of our near-disastrous brush with obliteration when
we discovered that the mountain upon which our beloved castle lay was, in fact, a
giant asleep under a thousand-year-old blanket of earth and grass. Perhaps even rumors
of civil war, treachery against the crown by the oppressed workers of the king’s pepper
mill, the heroic deeds of young Persimmony Smudge and her friend Worvil, and the mysterious
prophecies of the Lyre-That-Never-Lies have reached your ears. My scrupulously researched
narrative, The Rise and Fall of Mount Majestic, is an attempt to set the record
straight once and for all. I humbly apply for your aid in securing a suitable publisher
for my manuscript, as I am anxious to warn the rest of the world about the perils
of not being fully aware of wh
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 49th installment in this series is with agent Shira Hoffman (McIntosh
& Otis) and her author, Eleanor Brown, for
the novel, The
Weird Sisters (Amy Einhorn Books/Putnam; Jan.
20, 2011). The
Weird Sisters was given a starred review by Publishers Weekly and named
one of Amazon "Best Books of January 2011."
Dear Ms. Winick:
Because you represent upmarket and women’s fiction, I hope you will be interested
in my novel, The Weird Sisters.
The Andreas sisters are failures: in love, in career, in life. And so they have come
home to the small college town where they grew up: to their professor father, whose
devotion to Shakespeare freezes their communication in the words of a man who has
been dead for 400 years; and to their quiet mother, who is fighting breast cancer.
The prototypical oldest sibling, Rose (Rosalind) was sure that if she followed all
the rules, she would have everything. Instead, she has nothing. She has lost her job,
her fiancé has abandoned her, and she is trapped by the safety she has spent her life
seeking.
Always afraid that she would be lost in the middle, Bean (Bianca), escaped to the
glamour of New York. Her return is anything but glamorous; she was fired for embezzling
funds from her employer. Praying that the love of a holy man will wipe her sins clean,
she seeks forgiveness by pursuing the town’s handsome new reverend.
For seven years, Cordy (Cordelia), the baby of the family, has been a ghost. She dropped
out of college to take to the road, skipping from place to place like a stone on water,
trading passing love for shelter. But that life has lost its luster, and she has come
home with only one thing to show for her time on the road: a pregnancy of uncertain
paternity.
My writing has been published in anthologies, magazines and journals, including the Philadelphia
City Paper and Crab Orchard Review. In 2005, I won the RWA-sponsored “Get
Your Stiletto in the Door” contest. I hold an M.A. in Literature, and teach English
in South Florida.
The Weird Sisters is comple
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 48th installment in this series is with agent Catherine Drayton (Inkwell
Management) and her authors, Lisa
and Laura Roecker, for their forthcoming YA novel, The
Liar Society (Sourcebooks Fire, March 1, 2011).
Dear Ms. Drayton,
Kate Lowry didn't think dead best friends could send e-mails. Not even on the anniversary
of their disappearance. Of course, that was before this message from Grace appeared
in her inbox:
Kate,
I'm here…
sort of.
Find Christian.
He knows.
I shouldn't be writing.
Don't tell.
They'll hurt you.
Most girls would ignore the warning and go straight to the police.
But Kate isn’t most girls.
Instead, she decides to channel Nancy Drew, pearls and all. Of course, Kate’s pearls
are faux, her skirts are way shorter and she’d take everyone's favorite teen detective
in a girl fight, but you get the idea.
The e-mails continue and Kate’s quest to solve the mystery takes a dangerous turn
when her confrontation with Christian, Grace’s addict brother, almost gets her killed.
Good thing she finds a couple of knights-in-(not so)-shining armor in sexy bad boy,
Liam, and her awkward neighbor, Seth. Armed with her newfound sidekicks, the investigation
continues, uncovering a secret lurking in the halls of their elite private school
that threatens to destroy them all.
Kate knew finding Grace wasn’t going to be easy, but figuring out who to trust is
more difficult than she ever could have imagined.
After all, everyone’s a suspect.
We are sisters-turned-writing-partners. THE LIAR SOCIETY is a 53,000 word YA Mystery.
We have pasted the first chapter below for your consideration. Upon your request,
we are prepared to submit the complete manuscript. We look forward to hearing from
you.
Lisa and Laura Roecker
Commentary from Catherine:
As an agent I have made a practice of reading all my own query letters. After thirteen
years in the business, you can quickly recognize a writer with potential. Lisa and
Laura
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 47th installment in this series is with agent Mary Kole (Andrea
Brown Literary) and her author, Karsten Knight, for
his forthcoming paranormal YA novel, Wildefire (June 2011).
Dear Ms. Kole:
Ashline Wilde never received an instruction manual on how to be a 16-year-old Polynesian
volcano goddess. If she had, it might have contained helpful warnings such as:
-
Dreaming about your (thankfully) mortal boyfriend may cause
your bed to spontaneously combust
-
Oven mitts should be worn at all times during heavy make-out
sessions
Instead, Ash has to learn these life lessons the hard way as
her dormant powers erupt at the most awkward times. In the wake of a hometown tragedy,
Ash transfers to Blackwood Academy, a boarding school nestled in California’s redwoods,
where a group of fellow gods-on-earth have mysteriously convened. As if sophomore
year couldn’t get any worse, her storm goddess older sister, the wild and unpredictable
Eve, resurfaces to haunt Ashline. With a war between the gods looming over Blackwood,
Ash must master the fire smoldering within her before she clashes with her sister
one final time, which leads us to life-lesson #3:
-
When warm and cold fronts collide, there’s guaranteed to be
a storm.
Wildefire is an epic 90,000-word
cocktail of young love, sibling rivalry, and warring gods, which will engage both
loyal and casual YA readers, with crossover potential for twenty-something women.
Ashline’s story bridges mythology from five continents and celebrates a broad multicultural
and international appeal.
I graduated from College of the Holy Cross with a Bachelor’s degree in English &
Creative Writing, studying under authors Bill Roorbach (The Smallest Color)
and Danzy Senna (Caucasia). I’m currently pursuing my MFA in Writing for Children
at Simmons College.
On a personal note, your KidLit Workshop Submission series has been an invaluable
fountain of insight and wit for me these last few weeks. I can only hope that Wildefire ends
up in the hands of an agen
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 46th installment in this series is with agent Lauren MacLeod (The
Strothman Agency) and her author, Helene Boudreau, for the YA novel, Real
Mermaids Don't Wear Toe Rings—a book that The
YA-5 called "Absolutely fresh and
sweet, a quirky coming of age story." The book
comes out today (Dec. 1, 2010), and on its release day, Helene
is doing free giveaways online.
Dear Ms. MacLeod,
I am seeking literary representation and hope you will consider my tween novel, REAL
MERMAIDS DON'T WEAR TOE RINGS.
First zit. First crush. First … mermaid's tail?
Jade feels like enough of a freak-of-nature when she gets her first period at almost
fifteen. She doesn’t need to have it happen at the mall while trying on that XL tankini
she never wanted to buy in the first place. And she really doesn’t need to run into
Luke Martin in the Feminine Hygiene Products aisle while her dad Googles "menstruation"
on his Blackberry.
But "freak-of-nature" takes on a whole new meaning when raging hormones and bath salts
bring on another metamorphosis—complete with scales and a tail. And when Jade learns
she’s inherited her mermaid tendencies from her late mother's side of the family,
it raises the question: if Mom was once a mermaid, did she really drown that day last
summer?
Jade is determined to find out. Though, how does a plus-sized, aqua-phobic mer-girl
go about doing that, exactly ... especially when Luke from aisle six seems to be the
only person who might be able to help?
REAL MERMAIDS DON’T WEAR TOE RINGS is a light-hearted fantasy novel for tweens (10-14).
It is complete at 44,500 words and available at your request. The first ten pages
and a synopsis are included below my signature. I also have a completed chapter book
for boys (MASON AND THE MEGANAUTS), should that be of interest to you. This manuscript
has received a revision request from editor, Kathy Tucker, from Albert Whitman &
Company.
My middle grade novel, ACADIAN STAR, was released last fall by Nimbus Publishing and
has been nominated for the 2009/2010 Hackmatack Children’
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 45th installment in this series is with agent Jim McCarthy (Dystel
& Goderich) and his author, Mindi Scott, for her YA novel, Freefall,
which was released in Oct. 2010 from Simon Pulse. The New
York Journal of Books said this of the YA novel: "With
characters that ring true and a journey that proves honest, Freefall is
no doubt sure to be one of the best contemporary young adult books of the year."
Mr. McCarthy:
If Seth McCoy had asked
his Magic 8-Ball whether he’d ever get his life on track, the answer would have been: Very
doubtful. Or maybe: Don’t count on it. For too long, Seth’s focus was on
getting wasted with his band—a pastime that contributed to his reputation as a slacker,
a jerk, and an all-out loser. But there’s one thing the Magic 8-ball didn’t predict:
Seth’s close friend dying after a night of partying.
Scared & sober, Seth finally notices a girl who’s been there all along: sweet,
beautiful, broken Rosetta. She’s a brainiac from Rich Bitch Hill, but she doesn’t
judge Seth for who he’s been. Instead, she challenges him to become the person he
wants to be—the person no one else sees. It's Rosetta who is there when Seth falls
back on his old habits, and Rosetta who helps Seth confront his role in his friend's
death. And yet, he can't seem to help her get over her tragic past. With all the difficulties
in their relationship, Seth can’t help thinking: Outlook not so good.
Straddling the line between literary and commercial, FREEFALL is a YA novel about
defying expectations and breaking free of the words that define you. At 74,000 words,
it will appeal to readers of Barry Lyga, Sara Zarr, or Lara M. Zeises.
Recently, I completed an intensive twelve-week course with Liesa Abrams of Aladdin
whose guidance was invaluable in revising this work. I also earned a fiction-writing
certificate from the University of Washington in 2005, and attended the Western Washington
annual SCBWI conference in 2008.&n
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting the actual
query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why the letter
worked.
The 43rd installment in this series is with agent Janet
Reid (FinePrint Literary Management)
and her author, Sean Ferrell, for his novel, Numb,
which was released in August 2010 from Harper Perennial. Kirkus Reviews called Numb an
"eye-catching debut ... Artfully barbed entertainment.”
Dear Ms. Reid:
I am seeking representation for my literary novel, Numb. I found your submission
guidelines online and have included below a one-page synopsis.
I live and work in New York City, I have had short stories published in Uber, WORDS and Bossa
Nova Ink, and one of my recent short stories was a finalist in the Italo Calvino
writing competition at the University of Louisville. I received my MFA in creative
writing from Emerson College.
Numb is approximately sixty-thousand words in length.
In summary: Numb is a man who cannot feel physical pain.
When he wanders into a dying circus, he doesn’t know who he is or how he got there.
Despite feeling like an outcast the circus adopts him. When it is clear that his “talent”
(if you can call being shot with nail guns and staplers a talent) will make him the
star freak of the show, he becomes the circus’ best chance for survival. After nearly
sacrificing himself for the circus’ sake, he decides to run away from the circus and
make his way to New York City to discover himself and his past.
Accompanied by his fire-eating best friend, Mal, Numb discovers a world outside the
circus that is all too ready to reward and punish him for his self-destructive talents;
and it’s a world that forces all his relationships to shatter. Numb finds women to
comfort him, yet he won’t allow himself to trust them. He looks for love but won’t
accept it, and he looks for safety in self-destruction. After undermining or losing
friends and lovers, Numb is forced to figure out how to find a place for himself instead
of just taking up space.
This novel is in the spirit of Fight Club or Battle Royale; it is an
antiheroic tale of finding a way to survive in a world so filled with noise that simple
conversation and compassion are often drowned out.
I look forward t
This series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting
the actual query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why
the letter worked.
The 38th installment in this series is with agent Christine
Witthohn (Book Cents Literary)
and her author, Rochelle Staab, for
the murder mystery novel, Hollywood Hoodoo.
In lieu of a cover (not available yet),
this is a
nice picture of author Rochelle Staab.
Dear Ms. Witthohn,
I am pleased to submit for your consideration, Hollywood Hoodoo, a witty murder
mystery with a voodoo curse, set in contemporary Los Angeles. It's complete at 71,000
words.
In Hollywood Hoodoo, mysterious tarot cards, a cursed voodoo spell book, and
the falsely accused team of L.A. Clinical Psychologist Liz Cooper and Religious Philosophy
Professor Nick Garfield come together in the hunt for the real killer of a voodoo
initiate.
Hollywood Hoodoo is the first of a series of supernatural themed murder mysteries,
featuring Liz—the pragmatic shrink, and Nick—the broad-minded occult expert.
My professional background includes Top 40 radio station programming and 28 years
of executive marketing positions at Warner Bros. Records where I remain a consultant.
Writing one-line headlines is fun. Writing novels is bliss. [Some personal info here
was removed.]
I’m a member of MWA, RWA, SinC, and KOD. Hollywood Hoodoo has been submitted
in the 2010 RWA Golden Heart contest. I understand the value of marketing and am motivated
and ready to focus my efforts.
This is a multiple submission. The first chapter of Hollywood Hoodoo is copied
below. Thank you for considering my work. I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Rochelle Staab
Commentary from Christine:
I like queries that are short and sweet. A query should give the agent/editor the
“bones” of the story. If the writer does a good job, the agent/editor will ask to
see the “meat.” What I particularly liked about this query was this: the writer gave
me the genre, word count, and the hook in the first two sentences. Notice how short
these two sentences are?
Paragraph 1: gives the vitals; Paragraph 2: gives the bones; Paragraph 3: shows exte
This new series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting
the actual query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why
the letter worked.
The 37th installment in this series is with agent Rebecca
Strauss (McIntosh & Otis) and her
author, Allie Larkin, for the women's
fiction novel, Stay (which
was just published this week by Dutton!).
Dear Ms. Strauss,
What happens when you find love and he finds your best friend instead?
If you're Savannah Leone, you tear off your orange satin maid-of-honor gown, get drunk
on Kool-Aid and vodka, and buy a German Shepherd from Slovakia off of the Internet.
In Stay, Savannah, "Van," struggles with the marriage of her best friend to
the man she's secretly in love with, the loss of her mother to cancer, and all the
confusion that goes along with the "now what" stage of twenty-something life. She's
lost her sense of which end is up, so she's acting on impulses that lead her to love,
strength, and a ninety-five pound dog named Joe.
Her inexperience with dogs leads her to consult Dr. Alex Brandt, a vet with floppy
blond hair and a winning smile. But just as things are starting to heat up with Alex,
the newlyweds come home from their honeymoon, forcing Van to decide between past relationships
and the promise of new ones.
Stay is women's fiction and is approximately 80,000 words. I've also written
an outline for a sequel.
I live in upstate New York with my 95-pound German Shepherd, (who is from the Catskills,
not Slovakia), and write AlliesAnswers.com, a daily eco-friendly blog. My short story,
"Bathtub Mary," will appear in the March 2008 issue of The Summerset Review.
I've enclosed the first two chapters and a synopsis. Thank you for taking the time
to review my materials.
Best regard,
Allie Larkin
Commentary from Rebecca
So, what grabbed my attention? Well, in addition to doing everything right in terms
of process (she spelled my name correctly and wrote in a professional manner), Allie
looked at my submission guidelines—and
followed them. Huge points! She did her research; she saw which genres I represented
and what materials I requested. This set Allie's letter apart from many others. I
know, I know. This all sounds
This new series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting
the actual query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why
the letter worked.
The 36th installment in this series is with agent Stephen Fraser (Jennifer
De Chiara Literary Agency) and his author, Bev
Katz Rosenbaum, for the YA novel, I
Was a Teenage Popsicle.
Dear Mr. Fraser:
Floe Ryan is a cryogenically preserved Venice Beach teen who is
thawed ten years from now, and suddenly has to adjust to being the ward of her younger
(now older) sister, while crushing on the boy from the vat next door, and, oh, adjusting
to a whole new world. (Ashton Kutcher as vice president, anyone?)
I Was a Teenage Popsicle is a 60,000-word young adult
novel. I am a former romance editor and a twice-published romance author. My latest
romantic comedy, Wanted: An Interesting Life (Harlequin Flipside, 2004),
was cited by Romantic Times Magazine as one of the five best Flipsides of
2004.
Aside from I Was a Teenage Popsicle and its potential
sequel, I am also working on a young adult novel called Retest, about a teen
who finds herself reliving a test day over and over again.
You can contact me at any time. I do hope my book premises intrigue
you! I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Bev Kate Rosenbaum
Commentary from Stephen
Bev's letter jumps right in and she starts with the pitch. It’s
a short, enticing summary of the book that gives us an idea of what the whole story will
be about.
Mentioning the word count shows she knows appropriate length for
YA books. I also liked how the book works as a standalone
or in a series.
She's been published before and has impressive credentials. She
has other projects in the works and is interested
in working on her craft.
This query excerpted from Children's Writer's
& Illustrator's Market, an annual resource for
writers of kids books.
This new series is called "Successful
Queries" and I'm posting actual query letters
that succeeded in getting writers signed with agents. In addition to posting
the actual query letter, we will also get to hear thoughts from the agent as to why
the letter worked.
The 35th installment in this series is with agent Kristin Nelson (Nelson
Literary) and her author, Megan Crewe, for the YA novel, Give
Up the Ghost (year).
>Dear Ms. Nelson:
I am seeking representation for my completed 62,000-word young
adult novel, Give Up the Ghost.
Sixteen-year-old Cass McKenna would take the company of the dead
over the living any day. Unlike her high school classmates, the dead don't lie or
judge, and they're way less scary than Danielle, the best-bud-turned-backstabber who
kicked Cass to the bottom of the social ladder in seventh grade. Since then, Cass
has styled herself as an avenger. Using the secrets her ghostly friends stumble across,
she exposes her fellow students' deceits and knocks the poseurs down a peg.
When Tim Reed, the student council V.P., asks Cass to chat with
his recently-deceased mom, her instinct is to laugh in his face. But Tim's part of
Danielle's crowd. He can give Cass dirt the dead don't know. Intent on revenge, Cass
offers to trade her spirit-detecting skills for his information. She isn't counting
on chasing a ghost who would rather hide than speak to her, facing the explosive intervention
of an angry student, or discovering that Tim's actually an okay guy. Then Tim sinks
into a suicidal depression, and Cass has to choose: run back to the safety of the
dead, or risk everything to stop Tim from becoming a ghost himself.
Told in Cass' distinctive voice, at turns sarcastic and sensitive, Give
Up the Ghost will appeal to fans of Scott Westerfeld and Annette Curtis
Klause. My short fiction has appeared in Brutarian Quarterly and On Spec.
I maintain the Toronto Speculative Fiction Writers Group, and I've worked with children
and teens as a recreational programmer and behavioral therapist for several years.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Megan Crewe
Commentary from Kristin
Call me a rebel, but I love the idea of knocking
down the poseurs a peg or two. Wasn’t that always the secret fantasy of any teen who
was an outsider to the status quo? But the main thing that caught my attention quickly
in the first pitch paragraph is the idea of using ghosts as a
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