Fiction writers who are good at what they do, enjoy what they do. They like creating something from nothing . . . well from an idea. They enjoy the craft and the process.
But, with that said, there are 4 top mistakes these writers make.
1. You make the beginning of your story all roses.
While we’d all love to live in a peaceful, happy land, readers need something to sink their teeth into, especially at the beginning of the story.
The beginning of your story is the hook. It’s where you GRAB the reader and make her have to turn the page and want to know what’s going to happen to the protagonist.
Here are a couple of examples of ‘hooking’ beginnings:
“I have noticed that teachers get exciting confused with boring a lot. But when my teacher said, ‘Class, we have an exciting project to talk about,’ I listened away.”
“The Talented Clementine” by Sara Pennypacker.
“My name is India Opal Buloni, and last summer my daddy, the preacher, sent me to the store for a box of macaroni-and-cheese, some white rice, and two tomatoes and I came back with a dog.”
“Because of Winn-Dixie” by Kate DiCamillo
These two examples of children’s writing give you a good idea of what it takes to ‘hook’ the reader.
2. The dialog is weak, fluffy.
Having weak dialog can kill your story. You need your characters to have passion . . . to have life.
You want dialog that is strong and tight. You want the emotion (the conflict, the tension, the passion) to come through the words. And, you want to say it in as few words and as realistically as possible.
You want the reader to feel what the character is feeling at that moment.
If Bob is angry in the story, show it through his dialog:
“WHAT! Who said you could take that?!”
“Hey! What are you doing?!”
“No! You can’t. Now get lost.”
“Get your hands off of me!”
The tight, strong dialog goes for exchanges also:
“Hey! What are you doing?!” Bob yelled.
Gia spun around. “Oh, ugh, nothing.” Her eyes darted to the door then back to Bob.
3. The story is predictable.
You’ve got to have some surprises in the story. If you don’t, it will make for a rather dull, predictable story.
For this aspect of your story, think questions.
– Why is the character in that situation?
– How did he get there?
– What must she be feeling, seeing?
– How can see get out of it?
– What might happen next?
Try to come up with four or five options as to what might happen next.
In an article at Writer’s Digest, the author advises to “Close your eyes and watch your scene unfold. Let the characters improvise. What are some outlandish things that could result? If something looks interesting, find a way to justify it.” (1)
Let your imagination run wild.
4. Your characters are one-dimensional.
For readers to become engaged in a story, they have to develop a connection with the protagonist and other characters. In order for this to happen, the characters must be multi-dimensional.
Characters need to be believable and unique. You don’t want them to be predictable or a stereotype.
According to “Breathing Life into Your Characters” by Rachel Ballon, Ph.D., “The essential components for creating successful characters with emotional and psychological depth—feelings, passion, desires, psychology, and vision—reside within [the writer].”
So, think about it. What conditions or characteristics does your character have?
– Does he have a personality disorder?
– Does he have phobias?
– Is she dysfunctional?
– Is she a troublemaker or bully?
– Is he anxious?
– Does she have an eating disorder?
– Is she fearful?
– Is she a risk taker, fearless?
And, keep in mind that the more stressful an ‘inciting incident’ or event, the more reaction and/or adjustment there will be.
For example: If a child lost a pet, it wouldn’t be as severe as losing a parent.
If a woman became separated from her husband, it wouldn’t be as severe as having her husband suddenly die.
So, using your experiences and innate characteristics, along with research, you can create multi-faceted characters.
5. You dump information into the story.
This is more of a mistake that new writers may make. I had a client who created the entire first paragraph of her middle-grade story with ‘information dump.’
She had the protagonist talking to a stuffed animal, in a pretend interview. She gave backstory and other details she wanted to convey to the reader through the interview. She didn’t realize that this information needed to be layered or weaved into the story, not dumped in one big truck load.
You might also use a prologue to give backstory.
While there are other things to watch for in fiction writing, these are five of the top no-nos.
Reference:
(1) 5 Biggest Fiction Writing Mistakes and Fixes
MORE ON WRITING FOR CHILDREN
Writing – 6 Essential Steps to Publication
Why Hiring a Ghostwriter for Your Children’s Book is a Good Idea
Submitting Queries – Be Specific and Professional
Oh, yay! One day left in May and it’s mine!
I love May. May is spring rains and jasmine trailing around the fence. It’s wild-crazy freedom and singing at the top of your lungs, “School’s out for summer!” It’s joyous, exciting, hopeful graduation days!
I love those wonderful beginnings that graduation brings. I even enjoy commencement speeches. Especially one like
Neil Gaiman’s keynote address to The University of the Arts.Now, honestly, I’m an unabashed fan of Neil Gaiman. I love his novels, his picture books, his graphic comics. And when I saw him speak here one rainy evening and saw his kindness to the kids in the audience, I sort of crushed on him even more. So I would love whatever he had to say. But as it happens, you do
not have to be an unabashed fan to love what he had to say. You don’t have to be a writer, either, but there are some really useful bits for us.
If you’re a freelancer, you’ll want to listen extra-carefully when he imparts his Secret Freelancer Knowledge. And you don’t want to miss what he considered his best piece of advice ever that he received from Stephen King. You’ll probably find it interesting that there are problems that come with success as well as failure.
And perhaps most interesting of all, he recommends that you make mistakes. I agree wholeheartedly—and I have the mistakes to prove it.
My first short stories were horrendous. Stunk with a capital S. But that didn’t keep me from sending them out. And then, a contest judge felt compelled to point out just how much one of my stories stunk. I learned from those mistakes—and my short stories improved.
I have a HUGE file of Chicken Soup essays that were rejected. But eventually, after lots of head banging on the desk and rewrites, I figured out what I was doing wrong. Now, my file of Chicken Soup essays that have been accepted is almost as huge as the rejection file.
The novel manuscript that I have revised over and over and over again has nearly brought me to tears (Okay, that’s a lie. I have literally cried.). But with each revision, with each critique, the corrections have made the novel stronger. And I hope, someday, to see it published. That’s when I’m going to throw my own joyous, exciting graduation celebration!
Boy, I really, really hope it’s in May.
The best aspect of being a published writer happens when someone writes to you and says how much they liked your book and how it has helped them in some way. It's also very handy when I am grilling one of my boys and he responds by saying, "Geez, Mom, what are you doing -- writing a book?"
As a matter of fact...
So there has to be a darker side, and there is: you get swamped with requests to read other folks unpubbed manuscripts. Initially, it's really flattering (and there are two in your inbox in a month) I am the first to say writing a novel is
a) hopeful
and
b) hopeful
Of course I can't read them anymore. Most people who write, work, and have a family don't have the time to critique entire manuscripts and I'm no exception. But I have read a few pages of them recently, just the first ones,because it's August and boring. There's a lot going on in the good department with writing, but the teacher in me has picked out three really consistent mistakes an awful lot of writers seem to be making. In random order, they are:
1. Dullness. Yikes. Death sentence. And the most common of the three deadlies.
Kids give you fifteen nanoseconds to interest them. Start in the middle. Let the school explode, then talk about how Doug had been bullied one science class too long and had always had an interest in dynamite. You can always go back and fill in the backstory later. You have to get them to WANT to know the backstory. And you have to do it fast. That may not hold true for adult stories, but YA/MG audiences are not known for patience.
And dullness goes for the writing, too. For some reason, maybe writers are striving for a casual approach in the dialog, there's a lot of "good as gold," and "black as night." Boring.
Here's a sentence I still remember from last year that Emma told me. "Mom, you have to cut off the crusts on these sandwiches. They taste like balloons." I remembered it because it's surprising.
If there is no fresh language and there are lots of cliches, no one will want to read it. Coat the characters and the actions in layers of irrelevant details and it will send everyone running, including agents and editors. You don't want to be a word slut and show everything you've got in the first few pages.
2. Beige Settings.
So much of YA takes place in the mall or the school, and it's THE MALL or THE SCHOOL, the generic one on the Disney channel. Give the place flavor. All schools and places have their quirks, strange characters, weird smells, an abandoned factory, a crazy neighbor, something along those lines. It helps the kids "see" the place. And they are still young enough to really, really like engaging all their senses to "see" --
3.Writer as Pastor.
I'm surprised at how common this is.
I did this once, and I thought it was soooo subtle. An editor at Carolrhoda picked it up (this was maybe five years ago) wrote to me and told me the story came close, but in the end she could sense the "lesson" through the story -- and she was sure kids would, too. It never works unless you are writing for vacation bible schools.
Right now, I'm reading Whales on Stilts by M.T. Anderson, and I think as long as you have a sense of humor and have seen a few B movies and you want to write with more freshness, that's a great book to start with. It is sort of strange and surprising, but I'm reading pages of it to my balloon-bread daughter and she thinks it's "not so bad for a boy writer."
Do you know how to avoid the most common writing mistakes in your manuscripts?
Do you even know what the most common mistakes are?
Children’s author Lila Guzman will talk about these common mistakes (which are “red flags” for editors) and how to avoid making them this Thursday night in a special teleclass for members of the Children’s Writers’ Coaching Club.
Join the club and receive an email invitation to this event.
Manuscript Red Flags
What mistakes do bad manuscripts contain? Here are some of the most common ones:
1. No hook on page 1
2. No hook at the end of Chapter One to compel me to read on.
3. No clear goal. (X wants to ____ because ______)
4. It starts too slow
5. It’s unoriginal.
6. Wrong facts.
7. No redeeming qualities in the antagonist
8. A protagonist who is too unlikeable
9. No overriding theme/no book goal
10. Lack of goal, conflict, disaster
11. too many characters
12. too many characters introduced too soon.
13. telling vs. showing
14. starting with someone other than the protagonist (unless it starts with a prologue)
15. not having the protagonist carry the action
16. POV switches from paragraph to paragraph. (One of my favorite western authors does this and it works for him, but he’s written more books than I can count).
17. keeping secrets from the reader.
18. characters doing things apparently unrelated to what other characters are doing.
19. Plot glitches. (Example: A Moslem mother is not going to take her newborn to the Catholic Church for baptism.)
20. Straining belief.
Childrens Writers Coaching Club,
Lila Guzman,
writing mistakes
After reading Justina Chen Headley’s Girl Overboard, I was finally able to articulate exactly what my problem with most YA books involving Asian-American protagonists is. Too often, it seems like the protagonist’s race/ethnicity/culture matters only when it’s a problem.
The majority of books about Asian-Americans that I’ve read (or tried to read) seemed to me primarily about the protagonist’s identity as an Asian-American instead of being about a person trying to figure out they really are, with their ethnicity as part of their identity. I mean, they were books about people who were discriminated against, ashamed of their ethnicity and culture, or dealing with immigrant parents. They were books about characters who were Asian-American first, not books about a rich girl or a smart girl or girl in love, a girl who’s not struggling with her ethnicity but more universal concerns. Which is probably why I seem to be in the minority of bloggers who didn’t love Headley’s debut novel, Nothing but the Truth (and a Few White Lies). Headley’s second novel has just been published, and while I didn’t love Girl Overboard either, I did really like it. And I’m sure this is largely because Syrah Cheng’s problems don’t stem from the fact that she’s Chinese-American, but because her father is a billionaire.
This does not mean culture is ignored, because it definitely isn’t. The fact that Syrah’s family is Chinese is an important part of the story and Headley doesn’t skimp on cultural details. But I can easily imagine a book about a rich white girl dealing with the same problems—powerful and neglectful parents, hateful half-siblings, a male best friend she might have more than friendly feelings for but is in danger losing anyway despite not doing anything about those feelings, and a dream of making a name for herself as more than just Rich Guy’s daughter. And to me, the essence of Girl Overboard has nothing to do with Syrah’s ethnicity. While their Chinese heritage is an intrinsic part of Syrah and her family, it’s not a problem she has to overcome. Girl Overboard is a story about a girl finding herself and an inner strength she never knew was there, and discovering that she’s not as alone as she thought. The problems with her parents aren’t your stereotypical Asian parent problems, but your more stereotypical rich parent problems. It just so happens that those parents happen to be Chinese.
So there I was, pleased that I was finally able to put my finger on what bothered me so much about other books when I read a book with a hapa protagonist about whom you could argue race was the cause of her problems. Or at least the cause of tension. And I ended up enjoying that book, too.
In Sherri L. Smith’s Hot, Sour, Salty, Sweet, Ana Shen’s grandparents don’t get along too well. Her Chinese-American father’s parents and African-American mother’s parents will eat together. Just don’t ask them to cook together. But when Ana’s best friend spontaneously invites Ana’s crush, (the Japanese-American!) Jamie Tabata, to dinner at Ana’s house, disaster looms. Both her grandmothers are accomplished cooks, so of course both must prepare dishes for dinner. After all, it’s not every day that you celebrate your graduation from eighth grade. Ana loves both her grandmothers, but the competition between them, especially on her Nai Nai’s (Chinese grandmother) side, makes things difficult for the entire family.
Besides the gentle humor, and the fact that food is a major part of the book, I think what made Hot, Sour, Salty, Sweet work for me is that the tension is not so much within Ana, but 1) between her grandmothers, and 2) between Jamie Tabata’s father and, well, basically Ana’s entire family. There was a moment where Smith had me worried about the direction of the story, but it quickly passed and I was very relieved that my fears weren’t realized.
Hot, Sour, Salty, Sweet takes place over the course of one afternoon, so the scope of the story is not as large as that of Girl Overboard. I think this is the main reason I liked Girl Overboard more than Hot, Sour, Salty, Sweet, but as different as the two books are, I still enjoyed and would recommend them both.
I suppose what I said at the beginning, that Asian-American protagonists’ race/ethnicity/culture seeming to matter only when it’s a problem, is still true, at least among books I’ve tried to read in the past. But I’m glad that I found a book where this is not the case, as well as a book I enjoyed, arguably despite this. I’ve got three more books I’m looking forward to reading with Asian-American protagonists (all about girls. Where are the books with Asian-American guys as protagonists?), so I really hope this trend of me being able to actually finish and enjoy these books continues.
If you’re looking for an actual review of Girl Overboard, head on over to Jen Robinson’s Book Page, Dear Author, or Bookshelves of Doom. Hot, Sour, Salty, Sweet has been reviewed by Little Willow.
Are you looking for a little fun? Then grab your sunscreen, your beach bag, and a copy of Aimee Ferris' Girl Overboard. It's the perfect beach fare--think Marian Keyes for the teenaged set.
In the summer before her senior year of high school, Marina Gray has some serious thinking to do. A smart girl from a small town in Vermont, she's interested in studying marine biology in her dream program at the University of Hawaii. But, she's been part of a couple for years and her boyfriend, Damian, loves skiing and snowboarding and plans to remain in Vermont for college. Moreover, Damian's mother is in remission from breast cancer and, so, he doesn't want to leave her for school (and Marina feels guilty even asking him to leave with her). Marina has decide whether or not to follow her dreams or remain with her first love.
This conundrum seems, on the surface of things, trivial, but, honestly, isn't it one of the most typical big decisions every girl has to make? Marina decides to sign up for a summer program at sea--a dream program devoted to marine biology on a cruise ship. Students will be working with dolphins in the Bahamas, whale sharks in the Bay Islands, and sea turtles in the Dominican Republic. While working with her fellow students, Marina saves a baby dolphin, swims with a whale shark, and learns quite a bit about how marine biologists work around the world. (Hint: it's not all glamorous.)
What I liked most about Girl Overboard is the serious thought Marina affords her decisions. She understands that, at age 18, she could easily make a mistake and end up abandoning her dreams for a boyfriend. She also understands that pursuing her dreams means comes with a cost. Call it junior rom-com with a conscious, or beach book with a bite, but, in the final analysis, you’ll have to call Girl Overboard a delicious summer read.
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I loved that Neil Gaiman speech, especially the advice from King. And I'm with you on crying the tears for those manuscripts - all that work plus all that watering has to make them "grow" better, right? :)
Very interesting info!
I'm not a huge Gaiman fan. I have never forgiven him for The Trouble with Susan. I've tried other books and can't get into them. Not even The Graveyard Book. But...I do love his speeches. He's very smart and very talented. I don't love King, either. Don't read his fiction at all. But loved his book On Writing. So...I can recognize the creative genius even in men with twisted minds. :) Thanks for the link. Neil is really a good speaker.
I too have cried over my novel! Thought I was being neurotic glad to see I'm not alone! One day I hope that the tears will have been worth it!!!
Oh, no, Samantha, you're not alone. There's a TON of us. (See above comment from Madeline! ;-)