by Jocelyn Kasper
I’m on week four of a six-week WOW! Young Adult Novel Writing workshop with author Bonnie Hearn Hill. She’s got me on a no-exclamation-point diet. Bonnie says I’m in rehab.
F. Scott Fitzgerald said that an exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke. It’s a substitute for a lively little remark, added to the end of a perfectly good sentence, such as, “Isn’t that special?” Some people would substitute the word amazing to get the same effect. But I hate that word.
Bonnie says I need to use words, not punctuation, to express ideas and feelings. I told her I will lay off the punctuation brew and instead grow my language skills. I think my sentences are actually funnier, friendlier and smarter without exclamation points.
But sometimes I worry someone will think I’m drier than I mean to be. So I’ll add a colon and shift+zero, which, after a thoughtful tap of the space bar in a properly working Word program, turns into a smiley face, which is just as bad. I’m trying to get used to the new me.
Bonnie says get rid of colons and semi-colons in fiction. They’re too authorial. Let the reader get swept away by the writing, not by the writer. I want my readers to fall in love with my characters on their own and not notice there’s an author hanging around telling them how to feel about it.
Punctuation feels like music notation to me. In fact, like interpretation of music notation, it’s almost spiritual. A comma or em dash signals a musical rest of particular length and temper. Question marks and periods convey vocal inflections. But putting a word or phrase in italics or quotation marks (orphan quotes) for emphasis is off limits. Bonnie says not to think of myself as an actor, singer or composer, but as a writer. Again, use words.
This whole anti-punctuation thing is really just what the doctor ordered. You see, punctuation can make me feel like a smart person, even if I’m not. Like all those books on all those bookshelves do, which I haven’t read in years or ever.
Except for when I type smiley faces. I don’t feel so smart then. Just because I like to doodle, I shouldn’t scribble faces, parentheses, dots and other flyspecks all over my manuscripts to prove I’m smart. Or artistic.
Thanks to Bonnie, I’ve thrown my Punctuation Princess crown all the way across the valley. And still, I hear a million echoes of shattering glass, as it bounces from mountain to mountain.
It might seem like I’ve only learned junk about punctuation from Bonnie Hearn Hill. Or that punctuation is junk—on many levels—or both; but that wouldn’t be accurate. Oops. There goes a semi-colon.
I’ve been learning so much more. But you’ll have to wait for another blog day to hear about all the rest. In the meantime, use your words.
* * *
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like to participate in Friday "Speak Out!"? Email your short posts (under 500 words) about women and writing to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration. W
.jpeg?picon=893)
By: MP,
on 1/23/2012
Blog: WOW! Women on Writing Blog (The Muffin) (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: WOW Classes, WOW instructor, Bonnie Hearn Hill, novel writing tips, protagonist, online class, Add a tag
Vampires? Zombies? Steampunk werewolves? Trying to dream up a fresh plot for a young adult novel can take you to some crazy places. Yet until you have a strong protagonist, you have only a daydream, not a story. This is as true in young adult fiction as every other genre. There are no shortcuts. Not even the most dazzling over-the-top plot can conceal an undeveloped protagonist.
Your protagonists race your plot forward, swerve around obstacles, and yes, sometimes barrel over the antagonists in their paths.
Sometimes the antagonists barrel over them.
Is your protagonist a sleek, nitrous-injected Corvette, or is he a Gremlin so meek and sickly, that even you, the author, feels the need to get out and push?
Think about some of the traits of great protagonists. Are they intelligent? Warm? Giving? Clever? Brave? Those are perfectly good traits, but if they are all you have, you’re running the risk of a perfect character. Have you ever known a perfect person or someone who pretends to be? What happens when you encounter these people in real life? Do you like them? Can you relate to them? Can you stand to spend any time in their presence? Case closed.
If you want to touch hearts and sell books, your protagonist needs only two basic traits. Think for a moment. What two traits can allow you to trust your story with this character you’ve created? These two. Your protagonist must be proactive, and she must be sympathetic.
• Memorable protagonists are proactive.
A strong protagonist protags. That doesn’t mean that he rushes out the door like a modern day Don Quixote. Something happens—a change—that forces him to take action. Perhaps a loved one is in danger. Maybe he’s motivated by money, honor, even a threat. Regardless of how reluctant your protagonist, something compels him to move forward and refuse to give up, win or lose.
• Memorable protagonists are sympathetic.
You want your reader to cheer for and relate to your protagonist. In order for that to happen, that character must be worthy of such attention. In short, your protagonist needs to be sympathetic or at least empathetic.
Sounds easy enough, right? It’s safe to say that an unfeeling tyrant who marches through the countryside searching for orphans to steal is not sympathetic. Yet, it’s rarely that simple. A protagonist who cares for nothing, who feels nothing, or who robotically floats through his life is just as unsympathetic.
Only by revealing the vulnerable parts of his character, the squishy underbelly that most people try to protect, can we allow the reader to feel for him. The protagonist must have a hole in his life, and you must reveal it.
Maybe Mary had to drop out of school to raise little sis. Unfulfilled dreams are an excellent hole. Or she could be in love with somebody who will never return her feelings, which might remind her of how her father always loved the other sister more. A hole in your life is some missing element that both drives and impedes you. You’d better believe that every person on earth has one.
What’s yours? Look around at your friends and family. What are the holes in their lives? What makes them vulnerable? Any person who claims to have it all together, to possess everything he ever wanted, is usually concealing the biggest gaping black hole that ever devoured a galaxy.
Remember, your goal is to reveal the deep emotions that we’re taught as children to hide. Shame. Longing. Envy. Guilt. Those feelings come without
Blog: Margo Dill's Read These Books and Use Them! (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Young Adult Novels, WOW! blog tour, Tuesday Tales, High School Teachers, Aries Rising, Bonnie Hearn Hill, Book Club Possibility, Hill Bonnie Hearn, WOW! book giveaway contest, Add a tag
I’m very happy to host Bonnie Hearn Hill’s blog tour today on Read These Books and Use Them. Bonnie is part of WOW! Women On Writing’s blog tour, and she is doing 31 blogs in 31 days. She’s a busy woman. She’s also giving away a copy of the first book, Aries Rising, from [...]
Add a Comment
By: Wow!,
on 3/1/2010
Blog: WOW! Women on Writing Blog (The Muffin) (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Aries Rising, Gemini Night, Bonnie Hearn Hill, Taurus Eyes, young adult novel, book giveaway contest, author blog tour, YA writing, Star Crossed series, Add a tag
& Book Giveaway Comments Contest!
Bonnie Hearn Hill worked as a newspaper editor for 22 years, a job that, along with her natural nosiness, increased her interest in contemporary culture. Prior to her new Star Crossed series from Running Press/Perseus Books, she wrote six thrillers for MIRA Books, as well as numerous short stories, nonfiction books and articles.
An interest in astrology along with her close friendship with Cosmo Magazine Astrologer Hazel Dixon-Cooper inspired the Star Crossed series: Aries Rising, Taurus Eyes, and Gemini Night.
A national conference speaker, Bonnie founded The Tuesdays, a bonded and successful writing workshop in Fresno, California, and she also teaches an occasional online class. On Fridays she meets with her private critique group (humorous astrology author Hazel Dixon-Cooper, prescriptive nonfiction writer Dennis C. Lewis, mystery novelist Sheree Petree, and musician/thriller novelist Christopher Allen Poe). What happens in those groups ranges from spontaneous applause to "getting filleted," as Bonnie's students and colleagues call it.
You can find out more about Bonnie by visiting her websites:
Bonnie's website www.BonnieHearnHill.com
Facebook Fan Page www.facebook.com/StarCrossedseries
Aries Rising
By Bonnie Hearn Hill
Aquarius Logan McRae is a high school sophomore in Terra Bella Beach, CA and has been working all semester to impress her teachers in order to get into the summer writing camp she desperately wants to attend. But when this ordinary girl finds an extraordinary book, Fearless Astrology, her life is changed forever. Applying what she's learned about the zodiac, she lands her own column in the school paper and a date with the hottest guy in school!
But when Logan threatens to catch the members of a secret society called The Gears, who have been vandalizing school property by reading the stars, she quickly learns that she is in over her head. Will Logan be able to catch The Gears, save her love life, keep her newspaper column, and get into the writing camp of her dreams all through the use of astrology?
Genre: Young Adult
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Running Press Kids (March 2010)
ISBN#: 0762436700
Book Giveaway Comments Contest!
If you received our Events Newsletter, remember, we are holding a contest to win a copy of Bonnie Hearn Hill's novel Aries Rising to those that comment. So, grab a cup of coffee, pull up a chair, and enjoy the chat, and share your though
I LOVE this post! Oops, there I go again.
Jocelyn, I'm right there with you. I have a bad habit of overusing exclamation points (hence the name "WOW!" lol), smiley faces (yup :), parentheses, and em dashes. I'm not bad with colons, semi-colons or scare quotes. I don't overuse them in my fiction writing though, just in comments like this. ^_^
Thanks, Jocelyn. Happy to see that you're doing well without the extra baggage.
Bonnie
That is excellent advice for everyone, not just writers. I hereby am going on the same diet. I will also do my best to stop a horrible habit I picked up many years ago from Herb Caen in the San Francisco Chronicle...you can guess what it is.
Paul,
He was the king of three-dot journalism. And it worked for him, didn't it?
Bonnie
This is hilarious and so true. I am guilty of infatuation with the colon (punctuation not body part) and I could be accused of obsession with parentheses when it comes to blogging and commenting.
I try to curb myself in revision, but sometimes I think 'Oh, but that line's so pretty like that' then I remind myself of when I test read a friends first chapter. In the space of ten paragraphs he used fifteen exlamation points and I was beating my head on a desk. I was a bit kinder than that when I told him.
Oh, and emoticons are addictive. I had to fight not to put one on the end of the last paragraph.
As a former student (and forever friend and admirer) of Bonnie Hearn Hill, I, too, have been on Bonnie's no-explanation-point diet for years.
At first, following her wise advice proved quite difficult since I had practiced this deplorable habit for many years, and I must confess that I still rationalize the occasional use of this obnoxious punctuation, especially when I want to say something important, such as: Bonnie is the best!!!!
As you can probably tell, I still have to fight several other bad habits such as run-on sentences and the use of those loathsome colons. LOL
All of this is in fun, of course. Bonnie is an instructor par excellence. If you ever have a chance to be one of her students, don't miss the opportunity.
Oh. My. Gosh. It has just recently come to my attention that I may have a "little" problem with exclamation points.
And so now, I've taken them out of my manuscripts and my stories and even my blog. But I will never take them out of my emails!!!!
Or blog comments. ;-)
not the semi-colon? It's really my only punctaddiction. I slip it in whenever I can, which isn't very often. I'm the Countess of the five dot ..... I have a tendency to overdo.
Jocelyn comma I love your style in all things comma not just writing.
xxxtina
Bonnie taught me the same thing. Now I try to find better words and scenes to get the remark across. My next "ten pounds" will be the semi colon.
I have been lucky to have Jocelyn as one of my critique partners for almost four years now. She does the best critiques, thorough and honest. I still quiver in fear at her scrutinizing of my comma usage, but I do learn a lot from her. I love how you compare punctuation to musical notation, Jocelyn. Never thought of it that way.
Great letter, Jocelyn. I almost put an exclamation mark after Jocelyn, but decided against it. I'll put a smiley face instead. :) Sorry, I had to put something if I can't put an exclamation mark. Oh, the withdrawal symptoms. My fingers itch to hit that Shift and 1 key. *Trembles*
Bonnie's course does sound really good. Glad you're getting so much out of it. She sounds like a great teacher.
Oh NO! I always use exclamation points! I don't have a problem with that! I'm just excited! (You know....like the little excited puppy that just piddled all over your shoes)
Oh, wait. I wouldn't like that either. OK, I concede...
"Hi, my name is Sarah, and I am a punct-a-holic."
Oh no! This is the second time in less than a week I've heard the universe (in the form of F. Scott Fitzgerald) say stop using exclamation points. But...I love them! And the 3 dots...
Maybe it's a sign.
I love the idea of strengthening my writing to convey the emotion of an exclamation point. I can get behind that. But when I'm writing as myself in the form of an email or a blog comment, the exclamation points get to
stay! Otherwise, people will think my son has hijacked my email account.
Well said. Now if i can just learn to spell.
Thanks for your Comments, everybody.
It seems I’m changing the world, one exclamation point at a time. But that was never my intention.
I do believe it's one of Bonnie's, though.
I coined a new word, too. Punctu-holic. I don’t mind being known for that.
Jocelyn
As an academic, I love colons - not the stomach, but these :
Seriously, studying with Bonnie Hearn Hill helped me gain excellence in writing, both academically and for fun. Editors of journals like my papers, since they don't have to do a lot of editing on them. And I edit colleagues' work as well, gaining me friends and social capital. Having Bonnie as a teacher was one of the best things that happened to me.
Karen Moustafa Leonard, Ph.D.
Cousin Jocelyn,I think the exclamation point is a family trait. Personally, I love using it; it expresses my animated teaching style. As a preschool teacher/naturalist, I want to show my upbeat personality in the title of my program, Nature Adventures! It's always edited out, even by WORD. Why is this blog called WOW!?-- Because it grabs attention & shows that enthusiasm! However, I do agree with your teacher to use your words, TOO. I love your doodles,too! I still remember a letter you wrote me when we were kids, filled with lots of !!! You wrote, "Gotta run" & beside it, a doodle of a guy dashing away. I think you should end every chapter of your novel with an appropriate doodle, & maybe a!
This is great and a good one for me to remember. Thank you.
!