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Now what? What's next? Where do we go from here? These are the questions I asked myself as I sat crying in the airport after saying goodbye to the man I spent the last five days with. The man I gave my heart to years ago. The conversations and moments that we shared were long overdue but perfect in every way. Except for the sunburn.
I thought about sharing every detail here and relive the exact moment when we made that next step, the words that we spoke, the way he tasted and felt, but I also want to keep the memory of these events in a special place - between the two of us. Because it was a very special occasion, consummating our relationship after being friends (with much sexual tension between us) for fifteen years. Not that I've been keeping track or anything...
He got the approval from my friends and my son but now he's gone. The five days went by so quickly and now it's a big reality check for the both of us and I'm back to the same questions that I do not know the answers to just yet. What's next? Where do we go from here?
Dating while having a young son is a little challenging at times. He hears things (overhears things) and is exposed to conversations that give him a tiny bit of insight about how it all works.
I have a male friend coming in town tonight. My son asked me earlier if I have a crush on him. The question startled me, and I couldn't help but smile, and I know he assumed this meant 'yes.'
When I asked him to explain what it meant to have a crush, he said, "It's when you like someone."
"Then, yes, I suppose I do have a crush on him."
Seconds later he asked if there was going to be more boys or girls tonight. I assume he meant when my friend joins us, so I said, "There's going to be more boys than girls."
I can't even tell you how excited he was when he heard that. In a celebratory tone he stated, "I have a crush on him too, then." See, he's still in that phase of thinking that girls have cooties and he can only be friends with other boys.
I so want him to stay in this stage for a long time, considering how quickly young people grow up these days and get involved in sexual relationships much too early (in my opinion).
But then again, if he's going to learn about dating and what it means to respect, love and treat someone with affection, then I want to be the one to show him that. I want him to continue to ask me questions, because I know that he feels comfortable saying anything, (in front of anyone), no matter how much it embarrasses his mom.
what a confusing time. here's hoping it goes in the direction you want it to!!
-melissa
http://www.rockanddrool.com
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Time could only tell. I could only wish you well in all your endeavors. Thanks for sharing your feelings here. By the way, there's a new social networking site dedicated to parents and kids, it's called Bluepixo.com - it's a place for Moms, Dads, and Kids! Now, there’s even a chance to win a free iPod Nano!. It would be so nice of you to join our parents’ forums and polls. Thanks a lot and have a great day!