How to use this Page

a carrot would've suited him better!

very nice little painting!

Nice illustration with different crowns. Very creative. :)

It looks to me as though some Viking had been drinking before his boat began creaking, leaking and then stinking sinking. [Sorry! I love the image.]

Realise I made a mistake; thought the whale was a kingfish.

Greetings ftom Arizona. Your artwork is very creative and your really talanted.

i like king 'no smoking n joking', sounds like my boss.

I think we should all say "four king hell" five times fast. It makes you feel good!

I always thought Stephen King was MORE hirsute than you've portrayed him.

Oh, BTW, I agree with anonymous: Greetings ftom Harrow (current new abode). Your artwork is very kreative and jew are really tantalus.

i like it... very clever take on the theme :)

This lot look very uneasy.

I love your line work, and the expressions on the multiples' faces. Very cool take on theme.

Haha! Other great work from you! Deep respect!

no, no ,no, this will not do, try again!

Your amazing muse amuses me, constantly.

ekunmi.

As does word verification.

Doesn't take much, does it?

I'm really enjoying this "card" series.

wow that's really cool - great linework and 'old world' quality to it.

i am enjoying it too. luscious lips...mmmm

But why not 79?

Or even 179?

I bet you'd do an amazing Tarot card deck.

Is that a monogram growing in there?

Curiously joyful!

I love this. Love the little sperms with their glasses and propellers. Hope one of them makes it home.

Very touched sketch, Ellis. Excellent work!

I am now at the age where I am seeing more and more of such scenes.Fine work on a tough subject.
Regards, Neil

I'm with Neil. We start to see much too much of this scene as we age. I can hear his shortness of breath and the oxygen whispering back from the tubes. You've even captured the perfect paunch in spite of his thinness.

Poigniant mr nadler...

It's shit being old and/or ill. A combo deal is shitter.

Oh well, time for my little pill...

the lines are all so beautifully intentional. absolutely wonderful.

oh god, why did i ever smoke?

Nice.

i struggle with hands, actually i struggle with most things (drawing them that is).

love the ears

hope his partner has a small 'shnozz'.

proboscoidal

Wow, this is awesome! He's so hideous that he's cute. If he got out of the cage he probably wouldn't toddle far. I love scratchwork. I'm curious: how long does it take you to create something like this? I imagine it'd be days and days! Of course, you're obviously genius at it.

P.L. Frederick (SMALL & big)

little rock, big ears or big rock, little ears, that was obviously the question!

a BIG thanx for your comment,i really value your opinion.

Excuse me, did I hear someone at the back say 'Birdbrain?'

I love it.

This one keeps on getting better and better. And how does your mate feel about the fact that a) his testicles are dangling all about the place and b) you're sitting up there driving his thoughts. Very Being-John-Malkovich, innit. If we'd had tea at the Arse Centre today, I would have asked you how long it took to cross-hatch in the background to this....

I just love this drawing. and sometimes I feel like I too am being driven by a tiny harness driver. Lovely.

Great concept for this piece. I always enjoy your style and ideas.

wow, that's some BIG painting you have. cool works.

What an awesome concept! The style is so loose and free. Makes me want to copy off of you...

great!!

Can't say I know much about Steward of Doge or the message here, but the illo. is cool.

I'm glad I have a short nose today!

Brilliant as usual. Wonderfully excessive...almost as much as the "London Eye".

plainly put....
i am so glad i came about your blogspot

what an inspiration you are...
cheers for the us of a
jen

this would be useful in the 'mile high' club.

FY took the words from my mouth.
Great stuff

Why would Bill Gates want to see what everyone else is doing? He makes his own rules. Or, maybe he's just lonely-nah, he hangs out with Bono and Melinds (or whatever his wife's name is).

how can god watch what we're doing with that thing shining in his eye?

remember doing that to the teacher? i hated staying after school.

stumbled upon your blog. Really great work, very fun

Wonderfully surreal.

love your line work - very nice

very nice work

As others have said, great work. Reminds me of http://www.secondstreet.co.uk/ (whose work I really dig!)

Brilliant-it looks like the ciggie is sucking the life force out of Eddo.

Hey! Excellent work!
I´m very glad to find this.

beautiful drawing

you're full of nonsense!

I love the detail. I could just sit and gaze at each hair on the fellow's beard.

Nonsense. That should have been the IFN word for the week. I'm picking crap ones at the moment....

this is great, I really like it.

The creavtive tool of a steel nib projecting replacements of all consuming objects??

this would've been an excellent illustration for a story that mr p wrote many years ago about a bodyless man and a headless woman, one of his best, ask him about it.

very funny, excellent drawing!

Cool blog! Love all your works here. You are excellent artist!

my brother would like to be glatt, his wife says no-no. are you?

funny, and as always wonderful linework.

Beautiful stuff lately (Laurel and hardy!)
see you

Anything that gets more people eating rat has to be good. A fine meat.

really an exquisite rat!

Funnie, I like a lot the tecnique also.
ciao

wish we had a bath that large...i love my bath!

Nadler, does Mr Judah know your blog has turned into a love-poem to his beardy features?

I notice he isn't returning the favour on his website. Though it would probably be hard to render you in paint the way he likes to render, I guess.

I think you should get Gerry to help you build your next Impossible Machine.

I've also realised that Gerry Judah is in fact my therapist. The man's becoming positively Malkovichian in his cultural iconicity, innit?

Your illustrations are always amuzing!! Love it!

Always a delight!

These are very cool -- definitely a tendency for vertical strecthing going on here ;-)

i think i know why he haunts me, but can't say on the blog.

Both of these portraits are very nice. I enjoy all of your artwork.

i like the length of him. is that resignation i see in his eyes?

I love the bulbous nose!

cool portrait, you have wonderful work on your blog!

he haunts me, and i don't know why...

This is great, distortion and all.

Excellent effect!!!

Fascinating result -- looks a little scary perhaps... but that might just be the lighting ;-)

More frightening than any nightmare!
[In the nicest possible way.]

Howdcha do the hair?

fascinating piece!

Creepy but amazing effect. The eyes are fascinating!

if i knock on the door, will i get a trick or treat?

AAAACCCCKKKK!!!!!!! is that you, jacob marley?

(oh wait...wrong holiday.)

fantastic. really. :)

Wild! Looks like a lion with human eyes (or devil eyes...) very cool!

This reminds me of a few people I know who want to control everything and everyone around them.

SNEEZE UPSET GIRLS' SCHOOL; Sounded Like Man's and Police Were Called in to Find Him.


February 5, 1908, Wednesday


One Police Sergeant, four patrolmen, and one night watchman had an exciting time early yesterday morning at the Benjamin-Deane School for Girls, 144 Riverside Drive, trying to find a big bass sneeze, presumably with a burglar attached. At last reports neither had been found.

New York Times Archive

EXCERPT

The Death of a Clerk by Anton Chekov

One fine evening the no less fine office manager Ivan Dmitrich Cherviakov1 was sitting in the second row of the stalls, watching The Bells of Corneville2 through opera glasses. He watched and felt himself at the height of bliss. But suddenly . . . This "but suddenly" occurs often in stories. The authors are right: life is so full of the unexpected! But suddenly his face wrinkled, his eyes rolled, his breath stopped . . . he put down the opera glasses, bent forward, and . . . ah-choo!!! As you see, he sneezed. Sneezing is not prohibited to anyone anywhere. Peasants sneeze, police chiefs sneeze, sometimes even privy councillors sneeze. Everybody sneezes. Cherviakov, not embarrassed in the least, wiped his nose with his handkerchief and, being a polite man, looked around to see whether his sneezing had disturbed anyone. And now he did become embarrassed. He saw that the little old man sitting in front of him in the first row of the stalls was carefully wiping his bald head and neck with his glove and muttering something. Cherviakov recognized the little old man as General Brizzhalov,3 who served in the Department of Transportation.

"I sprayed him!" thought Cherviakov. "He's not my superior, he serves elsewhere, but still it's awkward. I must apologize."

Cherviakov coughed, leaned forward, and whispered in the general's ear:

"Excuse me, Yr'xcellency, I sprayed you . . . I accidentally . . ."

"Never mind, never mind . . ."

"For God's sake, excuse me. I . . . I didn't mean it!"

"Ah, do sit down, please! Let me listen!"

Cherviakov became embarrassed, smiled stupidly, and began looking at the stage. He looked, but felt no more bliss. Anxiety began to torment him. In the intermission he went up to Brizzhalov, walked around him, and, overcoming his timidity, murmured:

"I sprayed you, Yr'xcellency . . . Forgive me . . . I . . . it's not that I . . ."

"Ah, come now . . . I've already forgotten, and you keep at it!" said the general, impatiently twitching his lower lip.

"Forgotten, but there's malice in his eyes," thought Cherviakov, glancing suspiciously at the general. "He doesn't even want to talk. I must explain to him that I really didn't mean it . . . that it's a law of nature, otherwise he'll think I wanted to spit. If he doesn't think so now, he will later! . . ."

On returning home, Cherviakov told his wife about his rudeness. His wife, it seemed to him, treated the incident much too lightly. She merely got frightened, but then, on learning that Brizzhalov served "elsewhere," she calmed down.

"But all the same you should go and apologize," she said. "He might think you don't know how to behave in public!"

"That's just it! I apologized, but he was somehow strange . . . Didn't say a single sensible word. And then there was no time to talk."

The next day Cherviakov put on a new uniform, had his hair cut, and went to Brizzhalov to explain . . . Going into the general's reception room, he saw many petitioners there, and among them was the general himself, who had already begun to receive petitions. Having questioned several petitioners, the general raised his eyes to Cherviakov.

"Yesterday, in the Arcadia, if you recall, Yr'xcellency," the office manager began, "I sneezed, sir, and . . . accidentally sprayed you . . . Forg . . ."

"Such trifles . . . God knows! Can I be of help to you?" the general addressed the next petitioner.

"He doesn't want to talk!" thought Cherviakov, turning pale. "That means he's angry . . . No, it can't be left like this . . . I'll explain to him . . ."

When the general finished his discussion with the last petitioner and headed for the inner rooms, Cherviakov followed him and murmured:

"Yr'xcellency! If I venture to trouble Yr'xcellency, it's precisely, I might say, from a feeling of repentance! . . . It wasn't on purpose, you know that yourself, sir!"

The general made a tearful face and waved his hand.

"You must be joking, my dear sir!" he said, disappearing behind the door.

"What kind of joke is it?" thought Cherviakov. "This is no kind of joke at all! A general, yet he can't understand! If that's the way it is, I won't apologize to the swaggerer any more! Devil take him! I'll write him a letter, but I won't come myself! By God, I won't!"

So Cherviakov thought, walking home. He wrote no letter to the general. He thought and thought, and simply could not think up that letter. So the next day he had to go himself and explain.

"I came yesterday to trouble Yr'xcellency," he began to murmur, when the general raised his questioning eyes to him, "not for a joke, as you were pleased to say. I was apologizing for having sneezed and sprayed you, sir . . . and I never even thought of joking. Would I dare joke with you? If we start joking, soon there won't be any respect for persons . . . left . . ."

"Get out!!" barked the general, suddenly turning blue and shaking.

"What, sir?" Cherviakov asked in a whisper, sinking with terror.

"Get out!!" the general repeated, stamping his feet.

Something in Cherviakov's stomach snapped. Seeing nothing, hearing nothing, he backed his way to the door, went out, and plodded off . . . Reaching home mechanically, without taking off his uniform, he lay down on the sofa and . . . died.

July 1883

China is trying to ban spitting for the Olympics...it seems to be a common practice to hock n' shoot every couple of seconds and confuses the pigeons as they look for clean spots to hit...

Such educational, such scholarly comment!

I shudder to think what kind of bullets that thing fires.

Nice. Great commentary and imagery. It is always great to see your view of the world through your art. I agree with Rico's comment.

i love your wit ellis! nice work

Singapore is known for their odd little laws.....takes the "f" out of "fun", doesn't it?

I like this image a lot. Clean and EXTREME, very vivid.

Indeterminate size? As in, changes shape everytime you look at it?

Awesome image, very powerful. That'd be one more country I could never go to, if they pass that law. I'm a world champion speed sneezer