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Is it over? Can I start figuring out my March Madness brackets?
No? SIGH The things I do in my spare time…
11:04 HAHAHAHAHA! Original Song. But two weren’t performed? Selma. And we learn their real names! Great speeches!
http://bcove.me/cdvetbdo
What’s left? Score. Two writing awards. Two acting awards. Director. Picture. And Lady Gaga.
11:13 Song of Music? Really… Wow. Lady Gaga. Never would I have imagined. WOW. She’s got pipes! Grammys, and now Oscars. She’s having a great year.
Oh wow…. pardon me… allergies acting up again…
11:20 Best Original Score: The Grand Budapest Hotel
11:29 Eddie Murphy (James Brown intro?) Original Screenplay: Birdman (spoiler!) Is this the greatest number of winners for screenplay? Usually, the more credited writers, the worse the screenplay.
11:33 Oprah Winfrey (The Spy Who Loved Me intro?) Best Adapted Screenplay: The Imitation Game. (It would have been nice had they shown the actual book covers…) Great speech! Seen the movie? Read the book!
11:41 Ben Affleck (I’ve got you under my skin intro?) Best Director: Birdman
11:45 Three to go…
11:47 Best Actor. Nice basic simple dress. Eddie Redmayne. The Theory of Everything.
11:53 (Eye of the Tiger?) Best Actress: Julianne Moore, Still Alice.
12:00 Magic Act. Nice tux.
12:03 Best Picture. Sean Penn. Birdman
12:08 And we’re done! Whoever did the titles…. give them a Key Award! 12:12 AM

I’ve got to concentrate… concentrate… concentrate… Hello?… hello… hello… Echo… echo… echo… Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon… Manny Mota… Mota… Mota…
It’s Ten PM here… this should, in a perfect world, be the last hour of the telecast.
It would be, if the show started at 7 PM, and ran to form. We’d be watching the major awards being presented, recipients would have plenty of time to talk and generate memorable moments, and it would all end before 11 PM, possibly even 10:30.
But typing this at 4:50 PM, I doubt we won’t see any majors until 10:30, if we’re lucky. Let’s see if that’s true.
10:00 Rita Ora.
10:02 Nine awards of 24 so far. It’s gonna be a long night.
10:03 Visual effects. Interstellar. A shoutout to the scientists!
10:06 Animated Short. (Nice dress!) Feast.
Halfway done… (yeah… right…)
9:07 Wait… J.K. that’s the insurance guy?!? Mind blown!
9:09 And I’ve got signal! We’ll see how long Direct TV works… What’s with the Oscars on Spikes? Rather morbid.
9:10 Foreign Film IDA. HA! Great speech!
(And Budapest won Makeup.)
9:14 ABC.com’s feed is about a minute behind the tv feed.
9:17 “escargots” ha! ooh… LEGo! oh my… holee… Oprah… the Possum beats the Super Bowl sharks!
WOW! Love the Devo Lego hat! And Batman! That… that might have won the Emmy for the telecast.
9:25 Short film… The Phone Call. Heh… fun speech!
9:28 Documentary short… Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1 Great dresses!
9:31 Viola Davis. Lifetime awards! Wow… that’s an incredible class! Maureen O’Hara! Hayao Miyazaki! Jean-Claude Carriere! Harry Belafonte!
9:35 Yes, rawther! Much nicer in a British accent!
9:36 Damn…. not fair! Tim McGraw. Why are the most romantic songs country western songs? (Pardon me… allergies are acting up.)
9:43 HA! And now the techie awards! Did you take a drink when they said “voxel”?
9:46 Sound Mixing: Whiplash! $3 Million dollars, short production time. Amazing.
9:48 Sound Editing: American Sniper.
9:51 Supporting Actress. (Heh… good intro!) Wow.. great clips. Patricia Arquette, Boyhood (First political statement?)
9:58 That social network monologue from Birdman needs to go viral!

And it’s 8 PM! What’s next?
8 PM… what’s with those red Nazi latex gloves?
8:05 Jeff Goldblum looks like he stepped out of a 1950s think tank!
8:07 Ed Norton is having a good year! Birdman and Grand Budapest!
8:08 Big Hero 6! Baymax is getting lots of love! Yay, #diversity!
8:11 I like how the red carpet big names get interviewed, and then ABC transfers inside to chat with the “other” nominees! Those chats are actually better!
8:13 Zoe Saldana is presenting Best Animated Feature, and she was very diplomatic! Nice simple dress.
Is that Eddie Murphy’s wife? Wow. Stunning.
8:18 That’s a great history of Oscar by Robert Osborne!
8:20 Felicity Jones looks stunning! Can’t wait to see the selfies!
8:25 F! Direct TV is not working… so I’m stuck to backstage. There’s the voice of god telling people to sit down. I guess they use the big opening number to allow people to get to their seats before the awards start?
8:30 Nice film about Neil Patrick Harris!
8:43 No surprise there… Best Supporting Actor J.K. Simmons.
8:48 Briefcase? Not submerged in water? ABC.com has the NPH briefcase cam, so you can see how the stage is being prepped.
8:51 I like the three-ring circus stage!
8:54 During the commercials, the lights go low, and people mingle in the aisles.
8:57 And everyone races back to their seats!
8:59 Grand Budapest for Costume Design.

If you look closely, you’ll see Hope, Crosby, and Lamour in the back…
And we’re off… but we have to wait 90 minutes for the show to start.
Geez…. start it at 7, let it run four hours, end it on time, everyone’s happy.
Seriously, you can’t get the butts in seats by 4 PM local time? How long does it take to get ready? It’s not like billions of people are watching you on live TV, or taking thousands of photos on the red carpet….
I’ll try not to be too snarky….
…and my Direct TV box is being troublesome.
7:10 Wow… Melanie Griffith looks good for her age!
7:15 Dianne Warren? Cool….
7:20 Patricia Arquette. Great dress! I think the rain is wrecking havoc on hairstyles!
7:27 Body armor…. bejewelled bodices.
7:30 American Sniper, Boyhood… “family” Great directors keep talented individuals for each production.
7:40 The newleyweds look VERY stylish! Like they stepped out of the 1930s!
7:55 Stephen Hawking was in Les Mis!
It’s Oscar Sunday! As I type, Hollywood’s royalty, gentry, serfs, and court jesters are preparing for the second most harrowing live event of their lives. (The First? Hosting Saturday Night Live. Heckling, via Internet and smartphones.)
We here at Stately Beat Manor are preparing as well. I’ll be your host this evening, liveblogging the event as it happens! (If my aging cable box holds out. I may have to stream them…or watch it backstage.)
So… it’s now 2:50 PM ET. They officially start at 7 PM. The show begins usually at 8:30.
As a kid, the Oscars were always on Mondays. Before the show, Barbara Walters would have an hour special where she would interview three celebrities. Then the show would start at 9, go over the time limit, and people complained. Me, as a kid, realized… get rid of Walters and start it at 8 PM! Three hours to hand out the awards! Eventually, they did, and it still ended late. Then I got to wondering, why not show it on Sundays, with four hours of Prime Time? So they did… but does the show start at 7/4? Nope. It starts at 8:30 PM! 90 minutes are wasted on the red carpet! Seriously… move that to the pregame… say 5-7 PM, then go right into the show. (Actually, ABC starts Oscar programming at 4PM.) Program it like the Super Bowl. Curtains rise at 7, you get 30 minutes of monologue or opening number, and then start handing out the naked men. Four awards an hour. Group them in pairs for presenters to make it more efficient: supporting acting, writing, music, short film, documentary, makeup and costume, sound… It might even be possible to do three of those doubles in one hour! Each hour, there’s something glitzy. Musical performance, tributes
Hey… what do local affiliates on the West Coast show after the Oscars end at 8ish PM? ABC should fill that with Jimmy Kimmel, live feeds from the parties, analysis, ending at 10 PM local time. Which is 1 AM East Coast time. Nine hours of Oscar programming!
Here’s an even better idea…. Oscar Week! The week before, ABC would air specials about each category. Interview the nominees, discuss the skill and art behind what they do, anecdotes, yadda yadda. The major categories, you make it a two-hour special, ending with Best Picture on Saturday. In a way, ABC would be programming this like the Olympics! (And Hollywood studios would sponsor it by advertising coming attractions!) Also, the Sunday before, ABC hosts a two-hour “In Memorium” special which features almost everyone, and directs to a special page at Oscars.org with detailed biographies.
Okay… 4:15. I’m going to prep the other pages now. Feel free to comment as I live blog. Enter the time, so we can all keep track! I’ll be back at 7 PM when the show starts!