Last blog, I talked about the closed doors in my life. Or the doors that were starting to close. The nice thing about getting older, is that I have a better sense of which open doors I want to explore. When I was younger, the open doors seem to go on forever. It can almost make you a schizo, trying to see it all, try a few here and there. Now that I'm older and slower, I take time with the open doors. I go in and look around, maybe rearrange a few things.

Some people think diminishing choices is a bad thing, but I don't think it is. It gives me a chance to experience more deeply and fully, the experiences left to me. And I think I appreciate them more now, too. That sense of time speeding by encourages me to slow down and feel more. 

I have a better appreciation each phone call from one of my kids, and each second they are home. People matter more than things. That's my mantra, as I approach the time of leaving all things behind. I feel more focused, more centered, more open. 

My mom read my blog last week and reminded me that we get wiser as we get older--and people listen to us less. I know when I was young, I didn't believe a lot of what I was told, so don't expect to be believed, or approached for my wisdom. There are things we only learn by passing through the experiences. I'm grateful to my mom for giving me the tools to manage those experiences mostly successfully and hope I passed those tools onto my kids. (So far they seem to be doing fine without me closely supervising, though I stand ready if they need me.)

One door I really like to open is my patio door when it finally cools off down here. It's not quite there yet. I can pop the windows open for a bit in the early mornings, which is nice. So I like those open windows, too. Let's see, I also like open books, open crepes places with friends or family, open cans of Diet Dr. Pepper and open lines of communication. Oh, and the open file of my book in progress! Mustn't forget that!

And now I need to get back to that open book file. My characters are tapping their feet, wanting some resolutions to the problems I threw at them. So for you, my friends, I hope you find the new month filled with both open and closed doors, in the right mix for you.
perilously yours,
Pauline

I don't know if it's true, but it feels like my bedroom door was always open at night when I was little. I think it started so I could make a fast, unobstructed dash to my parent's bedroom when the monsters crawled out of the closet or out from under the bed.

When I hit my teens, the door closed so that my brothers wouldn't find it easy to sneak in and try to scare me or paint stuff on my sleeping face.

When our first child was born, the door stayed open (with a few obvious exceptions), because I was afraid I wouldn't hear every little sound of distress.

Then we got a cat. If you haven't had a cat, then you don't know that cats see doors as a personal affront to their rights and freedom. They will paw a closed door for as long as it takes to get it to open. 

As the hubby and I enter our children-gone, cat-passed on lives, I find I have to retrain myself to close my bedroom door. Even though I know I don't need to hear every little sound anymore, it feels wrong.

I found myself mulling this closed door thing as I was getting ready this morning. It felt symbolic and I'm not sure I figured out why. I do know, that when I turned 55 last month, it was a shock to realize that I had more life behind me, than I had ahead of me. When I was young, and old people said or wrote things like this, I'd think, "Seriously? You don't get how old you are?"

Now that I'm there, I realize it isn't an aging/forgetting thing, but a living thing. You are so busy living and you don't feel that different (as long as you don't climb on a trampoline and challenge gravity). You feel like you, so the only time you think about getting older is around your birthday, and if you're careful, you don't go deep on the birthday thinking as you start to really rack them up, because it's not that fun to contemplate. 

But I am living with--to some extent--diminishing possibilities. Doors are closing or are already closed. There are some things I will never do. I'm not saying my life is over, by any means, but it is winding down. I've seen pieces of that bucket list movie and have tried to think what I'd put in mine, but I'm kind of relieved to find out that I've lived a full and (mostly) happy life. I have no desire to jump out of airplane or climb anything to feel like I've lived, because I have already lived the life I wanted to live. My bucket list would have been quieter anyway, since I'm an unapologetic hermit. 

I hope, before my last door closes, that I will write more books, but more important to me, I hope I will get to spend time with the people I love, just chatting and laughing and possibly eating some donuts. I hope I get to hold a grandchild or two and I hope I will be missed when I do close that last door. 

Closing doors can feel sad and a bit scary, but they can also be a relief. For me, closing my bedroom door means I'm no longer in charge of keeping my kids safe or making a bitter cat happy. Fewer choices is also kind of a relief. I get tired faster and if I'm going to do something, I need to not have to think about it for too long. lol! 

I hope I don't sound too melancholy! It is a Monday and I knew I needed to update my blog and just couldn't think of anything to write about until I closed that door this morning (wow, its a hard habit to break! I  keep expecting to turn around and see the reproachful face of our cat.)

Another benefit of closed doors is more reading and writing time. I've got a delicious stack of reading for when I finish my rough draft of the new novel. I'm also sending our review requests/copies of Tangled in Time. It's hard to believe its time for that already, but 3-4 month lead time is needed by many review sites. 

Anyway, dear friends, I hope that your life is filled with doors, both open and closed, and also rife with lots of books to read!
perilously yours,
Pauline<

 Elizabeth Moon did a post-ArmadilloCon blog about how what women write is judged differently from men's.  I don't usually get into this kind of stuff, because what people read is so personal. But there does seem to be a perception that men have readers and women have women readers. I have observed it with my own two eyes. There are some wonderful exceptions, guys who like to read books and they don't care if the author is  male or female. (Some of them have written to tell me they enjoyed by books and for that I thank them!)

As someone who grew up in the midst of the turmoil of the women's movement, I get a bit weary of the whole "you have to do this because its fair" argument. I don't think telling someone they have to buy a book because it's fair or because 'they "should" will work. I know I wouldn't.

And I can't blame the men here, because I've met women who believe men won't like women's fiction. One must presume that all of us have been, to some extent, taught this from the cradle. (And don't get me started on the general snottiness of this genre to that genre, or from literary to genre and back at them!)

So I've been thinking about reasons why guys are missing out by not reading women's fiction, reasons TO buy books by women. This blog post may turn into several as I come up with more reasons and I'd really like to get input from other readers and writers, male and female, young and old--well, you get the picture. Input is welcome (though if bashing occurs, it will be followed by deleting. I can and will censor my own blog. I also delete spam. I'm looking at you whoever goes around posting Chinese characters on the blogs! )

So, a reason for (smart) guys to read a girl book:

Guys are always saying they don't understand us, and while it's not a perfect way to get insight, reading what we read will tell you something about women, in the same way our music and taste in music tells  you something, or reading tells you  more of that something.

A comment on a blog on this topic called women's fiction "user manuals" and there is some truth in that. My husband and I saw the movie What Women Want and as we were walking back to our car, he looked and me and asked, "Does your mind run on all the time like that?" We'd been married a long time at that point and he didn't know my mind runs ALL the time. Of course, I thought he knew this. And I thought I'd mentioned it. LOL!

Memo to self and significant other: telling isn't always the best way to communicate because it requires listening. (grin)

So fiction and movies can be a less painful way to find out about the mysterious other sex. (And yes, the people who make movies think guys won't go to girl flicks either, which cuts them off from yet another source of possibly useful insight into the female mind.) 

In fact, if I were you guys, I'd suspect a massive, long term plot to keep you from finding out about us. And I'd do something about it right now, like head for Amazon and buy a girl book just to show the plotters than you will fall for it no longer! 

Reason number two for reading girl books:

Our books are a lot of fun. We go where some guy authors don't dare go, and I'm not just talking about the bedroom (not that I go there, because it would upset my mom). I'm talking about the human heart. Yes, the stories are fiction, but the feelings women authors bring to their fiction are real. If you like your wives, girlfriends, daughters, and female coworkers/friends, you might be surprised to find that you'd like their books, too. That they also like to read books that are both good and fun and by women. 

If you're a guy and terrified of the idea of trying a girl book, might

So I survived my birthday, which is  more of a miracle than it might seem. Next year I plan to find a bunker though and stay a long way away from those I love and innocent bystanders. I did have a great time at ArmadilloCon. I have attended several ApolloCon's, but this was first ArmadilloCon and first time on a couple of panels. I also participated in their advance writers' workshop as an instructor. I might have been a little stressed but it all went pretty well, though I did forget to eat on Saturday and almost did a face plant. Thankfully I avoided that, though I was unable to avoid getting a year older. 

Okay, I promised you a secret. When you publish a book, it is often hard to tell how well that book is selling. In fact, it used to be impossible to know anything until your first royalty statement arrived and even then, it reflects sales three to six months behind, because retailers take that long to pay your publisher for books sold. It makes it hard to tell what promotion works and what doesn't. And there is an emotional component to it, too. We all like to feel like we are succeeding. Then along came Amazon. So here's my secret: each morning I go look at my books' numbers on Amazon. I try not to get discouraged if they haven't moved or are climbing, but I love seeing them get really low (which mean something sold!). It's a bit lame, because no one really know what Amazon numbers mean, but I look for movement. I suspect I am  not alone in this. 

The other thing I look for is new reader reviews. Naturally, I am hoping for good reader reviews. If the stars on the review are low, I probably won't read it right away, because I need to keep my spirits high while I'm working on a new book. Low stars are hard on the muse. I've been very lucky in my reader reviews, for the most part, so the muse is in decent shape. The thing is, unless a reader take the time to email you, you don't know how readers are reacting to the book. Good reviews from review sites and book blogs are wonderful, but what an author needs is good word of mouth to keep a book or books selling. 

While I don't expect a reader to invest in whether my books sell, IF they like them and want them to keep coming, sales help. A lot. (grin) If you've ever liked a book and gone looking for more by that author and not found anything, it is possible that it was because the first book didn't sell well and their publisher dumped them. 

And beyond the whole money thing, we're like anyone else doing a job: we like to know that we're appreciated and liked. It sounds a bit needy, and yes, there are authors out there who think they are wonderful without feedback. But I'm not one of them. For me, the creation of a book isn't complete without readers. I write to be read. I love to read, so I also like being the end user of other authors' creations. 

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that readers matter to most authors, not just as a revenue source but also as readers. We need readers to complete our creation process. You matter. :-D

And yes, I do obsess a bit about the Amazon numbers. So now you know my secret. (I also look at the fictionwise reader rankings, but that might be another blog post. Or not.)

No reading last week. Spent it prepping for con. No movies, reruns on TV, oh, except for Eureka! I was just getting used to the alternate time line and now it looks like they are shaking the globe again! Not sure how I feel about that. Warehouse 13 is fun, too. There is something to be said for running new shows in the so called "off" season when reruns abound. I'd call it smart--not unlike the publishers who "get" digital publishing and don't overcharge for digital books or delay release. :-)
perilously yours,
Pauline

If you know me at all, then you know I'm not a fan of August, despite the fact I was born in August.  This one arrived true to form -- hot, humid, did I mention hot? -- but has had its upsides. Do Wah Diddy Die released and my wonderful family got me an iPad for my birthday (which usually sucks so bad I try to pretend its not August)!!!! I know I'm totally spoiled, but I do love my technology! So I've been having fun loading all my ebook apps and my movies and tv shows (amazing!!!) on there. I'm heading to ArmadilloCon this weekend and I'm so excited to take "new baby" with me. 

I'm not giving up on my other tech, just adding to the family of tech I love. In honor of the arrival, I sat down and finished two books I'd started on my kindle (iPad and Kindle auto-sync to my last page read, how cool is that?). So I finished Happy Snak and The Mythmakers. I started reading both for my SFR 2010 challenge and they, technically, help me reach my goal, though I don't think either book qualifies as SFR. I'd say they are more SF with romantic elements. Mythmakers had more romance than Happy Snak, but there was definitely more focus on SF elements than romance. I found both intriguing and thought provoking. Happy Snak was more quirky. I've read such a wide range of books since I started my SFR 101 course, though it makes my head spin. What I really like about the variety is that, in making me think, I feel like I get more creative in my own work. 

What drew me out of the "safety" of my old genre reading (romantic suspense for the most part) was my writing. I've blah, blah, blahed about it a lot, but I am curious. Do you follow authors into new genres? (I have if I'm a huge fan, but not always, I will confess.) What would get you to follow an author into new territory? What would it take for you to try a science fiction romance novel? 

Heather at The Galaxy Express blog (I love this blog so much I subscribed via my kindle!) is talking about bridging the gap between SFR and readers today. If you're interested, hop over and join the discussion. 

Now that I've met my SFR 2010 reader goal, going to veer back into steampunk territory, though my first priority will be finishing my own DANG novel (not really dang, I like it, but it is making me work to find the story!). 

Happy reading and hoping you are cooler than I am!!!!!
perilously,
Pauline