Today I had to remind myself of the many accomplishments I've made on my artistic journey though the years. I have a bad habit of beating myself up when I am not following this imaginary internal clock, that seems to forever tick, and point a finger of guilt for "not keeping up." I then start to question my creditability. (a pattern I should be use to by now) The voice continues…"You're not really an artist if you're not creating?" Or, "What gives you the right to call yourself an illustrator, when was the last time you illustrated?" It goes on an on hammering at me! I try to defend myself! I say "I've been working a lot of extra hours these past 2 months!" "I have way too many distractions at home!" "Didn't I just finish building that Jukebox in April, that was creative!" But it doesn't seem to appease the voice inside my head, my worst critic! And then there's the one that hits me at my core-- "You're not making money at it so where's your value?" This is how my internal struggle usually goes.  I've been going through this tug-of-war for the last 2 months, a self defeating pattern. So as I said I began to really look at my artistic journey though the years. I have all kinds of evidence of my worth. I go upstairs and I see the bulk of what I've created, I look at my computer files and see pieces that may no longer be here phyically but now resides in someone elses home. I see pieces I'm proud of and some that give me pure joy, work that have brought struggle and frustration, but in the end growth. I see value. I think of all the projects I've done, some paid and some not. All the art shows and exhibits, all the graphic projects I did. Invitations, business cards, promo pieces and so on. Then there was the six years of volunteer work for the Willoughby Historical Society, faithfully putting out a newsletter every 3 months. I think about all the artists and illustrators learned about and have come to admire, All the classes I've taken, and this blog that I began 7 years ago to help me stay in touch with my art. And I think of all the people I've connected with through being an artist.

I needed to write this post today, I needed to honor myself as an artist. To honor my value. It's so easy to beat ourselves up, to forget the accomplishments along the way. When we falter our mind really can be our worst enemy.

This piece above was created for a poster many moons ago for a local shop in my hometown. I thought it fitting for the word of the week, tribal.

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Since Illustration Fridays word of the week didn't change from last week it gave me a chance to post a pic. This was mainly done using photoshop except for the line drawing of the ship and martians.

This piece was really fun to do using the PS effects.

I am reposting this art with only some slight changes made in photoshop. Originally I used it in December of 2011 for the IF word of the week sink. Apparently we were having a lot of rain that year. Here's what it looked like before the changes. http://inthelandofwhimsy.blogspot.com/2011/12/if-sink.html

Since they haven't taken Illustration Friday's word of the week City down from last Friday. Here's a quick one to sneak in before the new word comes out. This is called Angel Play.

 These are my gals that represent my "In the Land of Whimsy header" I originally did this sketch for another IF word of the week, and then changed it up to the piece below.

To me nature is my church, whether it be a walk in the woods, sitting in the sand by the ocean or floating down stream in a canoe, that's where I feel most in touch.  Even as a small child I remember my aunt had a small patch of woods in her backyard, I can remember taking my dolls there a quietly playing.  I loved the silence.  I still do. I need silence in my life.  As a teenage I took long walks around the apartment complex where I lived.  I felt the closest to God on those walks.  I sometimes think I said my best prayers on those walks.  I never really felt alone.  Maybe it was all those moments that helped me when I needed it the most in my life. When drinking too much, and drugging too much were becoming the norm. I remember vividly the moment  I ask God to help me, waking from a dead sleep as the words formed in my mind, "please help me" it was a quiet thought and maybe a little desperate. Nothing horrible had happened, it was more a series of events that needed to stop, a lifestyle that needed to change. There's a saying, "when the student is ready the teacher will appear." I believe in those words. You can have all the interventions you want, and yes maybe it pushes you down the right course, but you need to be ready to make that choice, sometimes over and over again.

I thought this to be the perfect illustration for the word of the week "Airborne" This is not the first time I've posted this art, and for some reason folks like to click on this one according to my stats in the blogger settings. I guess there's quite the fun factor about children being shot out of magical castles through rainbows?

When I made this illo I was preparing for an art fest. I remember one of my friends laughing at me for "cooking" my artwork! Since the frame was made of Sculpey, there was no way around it. There were a couple of blunders along the way, but all in all I got pretty good at it.

Currently I am preparing for the Art Walk in downtown Willoughby.  I will be the guess artist for the Willoughby Library--Thanks Deb! So if any of my friends want to stop by, Deb will be promoting the WE-Libraries and I will be promoting my children's art and my tree spirits.

Wishing you all a great week!


  

pen and ink with watercolor pencil

This piece was first meant for the little guys mom, Bethany. She is a friend that I work with at the library. She has a thing for mushrooms and gnomes, and she seems to really like my artwork too. So I said I would draw her a gnome. She made me a quick little sketch (darn I wish I had it to show, but I left it at work) of a gnome reading a book, by a mushroom. Simple enough. And after all we both work for a library so a "reading gnome" seemed quite fitting. As it was, time got away from me, and no gnome to show for it. More time passed, and I learned Bethany was with child. (Jax--the little guy) I then decided to alter the piece and add in a little boy gnome and give it to her for her baby shower. --On a side note the name Jax comes from the show, Sons of Anarchy. It seems Bethany and Nick (Dad) are both fans.

Bethany, Jaxson, and Nick

I don't know why this piece hung me up so much, but I just couldn't seem to get it going. Sketch after sketch and nothing felt right. Then I lost interest in doing any art at all for over a year, one long dry spell. Needless to say the piece did not get done. Move ahead to Jax's first birthday, and I'm thinking I gotta get this going before the kid out grows gnomes! Although I know his mom won't outgrow them!  So last night I was finally able to give this long overdue picture to my friend! She was happy and I was soooo glad to get it off my plate!

Container garden--and they got red!

This piece is a background for my fish tank. I do hope my fish appreciate the effort :)

Here is the process along with the whole image below.










 




 

This was originally posted March of 2012 as Illustration Friday's word of the week "Intention" It felt appropriate to repost it today.

In the beginning I struggled with this piece. The fear of the "white paper" had me in its grips. I wanted to create something really good; this was going to be my submission to the 2nd annual May Show at the community college. I knew I wanted it to be something that was true to who I am. A few roughs, and it still wasn't coming. I let myself go--I stopped thinking of it as a competitive piece. I just wanted something that I could be proud of. I let myself get into that frame of mind where it's all about the "feel," where your hands move effortlessly and your brain goes into a meditative state. And then a song starts playing in my mind, Imagine, by John Lennon. He is one of my favorites. One of the few that I shed tears over at his death. It was so senseless. I wonder how many other beautiful songs he would have sung if only...

This piece is called: "Thoughts of John" It's pen and ink, with a watercolor wash in the background; reminiscent of the psychedelic era of the 60's. What I found interesting, was at some point as I was creating this piece, I turned on the radio and guess what song was playing--yep, "Imagine"

How's this for a lovely Intention....

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace

~John Lennon

I'm afraid I am cheating today and re-posting an IF from 2010. There's so much going on in my day today, but I haven't posted in a few weeks and I didn't want to miss out this week. Plus it was a good post, for a good cause and a good reminder to respect our environment.  So for IF Friday Underwater...I give you Ripples from June 16, 2010, after the big oil spill occurred.  Also I'm happy to say both of these small cards did sell, so that was $20.00 for the clean-up. 

And Kelly Light you are truly amazing for this effort that you accomplished and for the thousands that you raised with the help of all the artists that participated in this fundraiser!

This colored pencil drawing was given to a friend recently. It was a gift to her granddaughter who loves giraffes and monkeys, and the colors purple and pink. It was a really fun piece to do! I thought it would be a good choice for IF's word of the week :)