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Tales of Horror, mixed with the Nightmares of a Writer,
with a final spattering of Dark Fantasy for Children added to the cauldron. The work of Catherine J Gardner & Phoenix Rendell. One Soul. Two identities.
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By: Cate Gardner,
on 9/20/2012
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Last year, a very good friend and a kick-ass writer asked me to write a foreword for his forthcoming short story collection. My immediate reaction was 'hell yes'. I love said friend's short stories and he's a pretty kick-ass person too, and funny (funny is essential).
Now, said short story collection is available to buy as a hardback from the man himself,
Mike Stone, and it is a beautiful thing as you will see if you scroll to the bottom of this post were said cover is revealed in all its gorgeousness (art is by Mark Cartlidge). The paperback and eBook are forthcoming from
Graveside Tales.
Trust me, this is a fabulous collection. Of course, if you don't trust me perhaps you'll trust Graham Joyce and his opinion of Mike's writing - "Mike Stone is a vivid and exuberant writer and a terrific storyteller." Now for the book...
By: Cate Gardner,
on 9/11/2012
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The world changes every day. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. At the moment, I'm lucky. Every day my world seems to be changing for the better.
A guy at work died this weekend. No warning. Just gone.
Okay, that was a brutal change of tone. Sorry. But eleven years after 9/11 I guess most of us are reflecting today about how the world changed on that awful day, on loss.
Such events cause you to appreciate what you have and to consider how you should make the most of every moment. You should do what makes you happy without hurting others in the process. I can honestly say I am the happiest I've been in a very long time. The only thing that could make me happier (well there are a few things but this is something that is within my control)...
Is wrapping my wee brain around my novel/novella and it, in its turn, co-operating. The story (The Bureau of Them) deals with loss, with heartbreak, and strangely, now that I have someone wonderful in my life, I understand those emotions more. Now that I have someone to lose I appreciate how my characters--Katy and Peter--feel and why they are driven to get back those they love. Even if those they love are dead...
...well it is one of my stories after all.
So living and loving life may take me away from writing at times but each new experience offers further depth to future stories. I shall stop stressing about possible future events and start living more in the now. For as someone wise once said, the now is all we have.
And hey, I've written 104 words today.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 9/3/2012
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My story
Six Feet Above will appear in the
Something Wicked anthology. The story originally appeared online. The white cover (to your left) is available as a limited edition of 100 and I believe there will be a non-limited edition with a different cover. More details over at
Something Wicked.
I was delighted when Jay Eales invited me to write a story for his Faction Paradox anthology and even more delighted when I discovered
...and from the Tower she did fall will be appearing in anthology with such an awesome cover. Just gorgeous.
A full list of authors is available
here.
This is Horror are hosting an event on Saturday September 22 to celebrate the launch of their second chapbook
Thin Men with Yellow Faces by Gary McMahon and Simon Bestwick. Joining Simon and Gary will be Ramsey Campbell, Conrad Williams and Jasper Bark.
The launch event will be held at MadLab in Manchester from 6:30pm running through to 8:15 pm.Tickets are just £3 and you can purchase them via the
This is Horror website. I have mine and if you're in the area then go get yours.
Thin Men with Yellow Faces will be available for the special price of £4 in Manchester for one night only and as it's a collaboration between two hugely talented writers you know it's going to kick-ass.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 8/25/2012
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'A Season in Carcosa' an anthology inspired by Robert Chambers' King in Yellow stories is now available to preorder from
Miskatonic River Press.
Here is the rather awesome TOC:
Joel Lane "My Voice is Dead"
Simon Strantzas "Beyond the Banks of the River Seine"
Don Webb "Movie Night at Phil's"
Daniel Mills "MS Found in a Chicago Hotel Room"
Gary McMahon "it sees me when I’m not looking"
Ann K. Schwader "Finale, Act Two"
Cate Gardner "Yellow Bird Strings"
Edward Morris "The Theatre & Its Double"
Richard Gavin "The Hymn of the Hyades"
Gemma Files "Slick Black Bones and Soft Black Stars"
Joseph S. Pulver, Sr. "Not Enough Hope"
Kristin Prevallet "Whose Hearts are Pure Gold"
Richard A. Lupoff "April Dawn"
Anna Tambour "King Wolf"
Michael Kelly "The White-Face at Dawn"
Cody Goodfellow "Wishing Well"
John Langan "Sweetums"
Pearce Hansen "The King is Yellow"
Laird Barron "D T"
Robin Spriggs "Salvation in Yellow"
Allyson Bird "The Beat Hotel"
By: Cate Gardner,
on 8/16/2012
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I am beyond delighted to announce that my story 'The Binding of Memories' has been accepted by
Shimmer magazine.
For me, Shimmer was a bucket list goal and I sent them a decent weight of stories. In fact, I may have drowned several Shimmer slush readers beneath the weight of them.
Note: This story includes cake and in no way did I mean to bribe editor, E. Catherine Tobler, by mentioning said cake. It is a coincidence that she adores cake. Frankly, most people adore cake.
Life has taken an interesting turn at this end. If you're one of my Facebook friends you may already know what I'm talking about. If not...ooh, the mystery.
Here's a clue... Faceless
Don't panic, I haven't removed my face. Actually, that may be cause for some to start panicking. Don't worry, the lesser-spotted-me doesn't leave the North West area very often. Fair warning: I will be in Brighton this September.
Here's another clue... Twisted Tales
You may recall that I've mentioned attending writers events at my local Waterstones. You may also recall that I meet a friend for coffee before these events. I've known said friend since the late 1990s when he edited a magazine, we spoke on the phone a few times, he published some of my stuff and then I vanished from the writing world and we didn't catch up again until I returned to the writing fold, found his blog and yelled 'hello'. We started meeting up for the occasional coffee two years ago, in August 2010.
Another clue... My head is in the clouds and airships are floating by.
No, I'm not tripping.
I think.
So, for those of you not on my Facebook friends list, I just updated my status to... In a relationship with Simon Bestwick.
It appears my glorious two weeks off work have whittled down to this last day. I'm not certain how that happened. Okay, I know how that happened but some of it is a blur and some of it deliciously highlighted in its wonderfulness. Back to reality tomorrow.
Ugh! (Uttered like a caveman in pain)
The plan for today (should I ever escape the endless loop of Twitter and Facebook) is to work on my novella/novel, which I haven't touched since Tuesday. My first week off work I wrote, wrote, wrote. The second week not so much, but that doesn't matter as I was out having adventures. One of those adventures included going to a Terror Scribes meeting in Manchester yesterday. I always feel so brave going to events because I can be incredibly shy. Annoyingly shy. God help me at Fantasycon--I shall have to get drunk on candy floss. At Terror Scribes, people were lovely and welcoming, and luckily I went with Simon Bestwick so that helped the nerves a little.
Now I shall go play with some ghosts, including a malicious one who appears to be channelling Willy Wonka.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 7/28/2012
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Earlier this year, Jay Eales invited me to write a story for an anthology he was editing set in the
Faction Paradox universe and I am pleased to announce that my story,
...and from the tower she did fall will appear in the anthology 'Burning with Optimism's Flames
' forthcoming from Obverse Books. Jay has been revealing the authors day by day over at
Factor Fiction, although our bios are a little tricky.
Dagan Books have announced a
Kickstarter campaign with some awesome perks for backers. My story
Too Delicate for Human Form will be appearing in their Fish anthology. (
Full TOC here). The beautiful cover is by Galen Dara.
And on this delightful and (after last night's Olympic's opening ceremony) slightly surreal Saturday afternoon I am fixing-up a novella, shuffling some cards around and wondering if I can turn it into a novel but that all depends on if I can find 60,000 more words of plot plus an injection of scare - but I don't have to worry about that today. Actually, forget the injection of scare, I'd quite like an injection of funny. They're a humourless bunch. I think I shall have to invent someone new to shake them up.
In other news, I can currently be seen zooming around my office in my new chair and tomorrow I'm hoping for a rematch of Space Hopper Football with my nephew. I think I'll go for Gold this time.
My story,
The Mechanical Heart of Him, is now available to read over at the Daily Science Fiction website. Here there be little folk and visible hearts.
Thank you to all subscribers who read, tweeted and emailed me about the story last week.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 7/21/2012
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On a trawl of the internet, I noticed that the electronic version of Phantasmagorium (edited by Joe Pulver) is now available to purchase. It features my story 'The Sour Aftertaste of Olive Lemon' along with stories by Edward Morris, Cody Goodfellow, Ann K Schwader and Michael Cisco. #
It's the first day of my summer holiday today (not that I'm going anywhere more exotic than my back garden or maybe Blackpool) and we have actual sunshine with the promise of more to come. I was expecting to spend the week in pink Wellington boots. I shall have to de-mothball the summer wardrobe (which is in fact a lie as, despite the weather, I tend to wear t-shirts all year long).
Day one has gotten off to a productive start. One short story finished, one biography made up (well that was the brief - actually made up bio's are so much more fun and easier to write than real bio's), and about to type up an old short story and thus start the beginnings of a new short story collection that I've been meaning to do for forever (okay, a few months). What is with the lies today?
By: Cate Gardner,
on 7/17/2012
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I think I need to empty my study.
It's full to the brim with things I love like notes, Jack Skellington, books, pens, pocket watches, Christmas angels that are too pretty to live in a box all year, a glum photo of my gorgeous niece wearing butterfly wings, and several million works-in-progress.
I need to tear down my memo boards. All four of them.
They are covered in dozens of pictures from six different books (all in various stages of repair, some even waiting in the wings), notes I've scribbled of things wise people have said online, coach tickets, theatre tickets (or rather ticket as I'm going to said show alone - I can't decide if I'm brave or rather sad, perhaps both), and jingle bells (yeah, they never got put away either).
I need to empty my study because as the saying goes a tidy desk is a tidy mind and place a white sofa against a white wall and scribble words onto white paper or a white screen. Only, I don't do tidy, I do chaos.
I won't declutter my study, but a corner of space would be nice, somewhere I could lose myself in a story rather than twirling in my chair and making the little doctors, Tennant and Smith, walk like zombies across my desk.
Focus is nice. Maybe I'll sit in the empty bath and write and see how long it takes me to clutter that. Ooh, rubber ducks...
(P.S. there is no photo of the cluttered office because my camera is dead. "Phew!" said I).
By: Cate Gardner,
on 7/13/2012
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For today, I am an honorary abominable gentleman. I guess I should put on a waistcoat and suit and a nifty pocket watch. I have the pocket watch if nothing else and it is a mighty pretty one with gold and silver flowers carved onto its back. I do hope they won't object to my parasol.
And who are the Abominable Gentlemen? Well they are James Everington, Aaron Polson, Iain Rowan and Alan Ryker, and Mr. Everington interviewed me over at the
Penny Dreadnought blog where we talk about astronaut postmen, poisoned lipstick and platform shoes.
I hope you'll read it.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 7/10/2012
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On my daily trawl of the web, I stumbled across the below reprint anthology that I thought some of you may be interested in (especially Ms. Walker).
Alex Dally MacFarlane is looking for science fiction stories about encounters with aliens. Stories must have been previously published elsewhere and you can send up to three. Payment is 1 cent per word and 2 contributor copies and the closing date for submissions is October 15th.The anthology will be published by Prime Books. Full details can be found here.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 7/7/2012
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It's Saturday and I am painting the bathroom and writing my flamingo story which you will have no idea about unless you follow me on Twitter or Facebook and even then you'll still probably have no idea about it. Not that you should.
Anyhow, while waiting for paint to dry I am working on the first draft of said story. This story was supposed to be a daft little thing but while formulating ideas it became more ambitious and now I've rewritten and rewritten the first paragraph a dozen times. I am aware how wrong that is and that I should just get it down, but this is often how I work. First paragraphs take me half the time and then once I settle into a story I (usually) fly through the first draft. We have to find our feet first and I've started this story in numerous locations. Maybe by the time we finish it'll be a daft little thing again. Either way, there will be flamingos.
A couple of links for this Monday afternoon post...
Daily Science Fiction has posted its forthcoming stories for July and my story, The Mechanical Heart of Him, will be emailed to subscribers on July 18th. It's a tale of woe.
Sam Tomaino has reviewed The Journal of Entomology for SFRevu and has good things to say about the stories. I'm incognito in the review.
I feel I should have a third link because good things usually come in threes. Someone should send me awesome news like now...waiting...waiting....waiting. Ah man, best finish the post then. Most of the time I'm convinced that Gmail is eating my emails. Plus, I'm nervously biting my fingers (there are no nails left) waiting to hear if a story has made it into one of the most awesome magazines in the universe and I'm sure Gmail is laughing at me and thinking, 'I so ate that one last week.' In fact, I think Gmail just burped.
Currently working on a short story that is hopefully unsettling and definitely has a dose of woe. It's the same story I mentioned last week (false love, tattoos and the Devil) with an extra dose of awesome tattooness. In my opinion. My opinion is often wrong. I am (or will be when I've posted this blog) finishing off the second draft before I slice and dice with a pen sharper than the knife I left in my protagonist's hand.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 6/25/2012
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...and the winner of my birthday competition is Robert Crosby. The paperback of Ice Picks will be winging its way to you shortly. Thank you to all who entered and RT'd on Twitter.
In other news, I'm working on two things at the moment. A short story that refuses to find its end (tattoos, fake love and the Devil) and a novel that seems to be hurtling towards its end thus making it a novella (here there be monsters). Hey, I heart novellas. Both will use as many words as they need to. I hope. We really don't want waffle, waffle, waffle nor a whirlwind that leaves the reader going 'huh!'. Not that I would ever do the latter. No, not me.
And in further news, well I have no further news.
Note to self: do something newsworthy
Extra note to self: newsworthy thing must be legal.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 6/20/2012
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It's my birthday today and I've received lots of lovely gifts and eaten cake and it's ham barmcakes for tea tonight instead of a meal because you should get to eat your favourite things on your birthday. Although, not all your favourite things such as Jensen Ackles and books. And come to think of it, why am I not having pancakes with lemon and sugar? Oh yeah, darn diet.
Anyway, it's not fair that I get to receive all of the things today so I am giving away an anthology -
Ice Picks, edited by S.S. Michaels. The anthology contains stories by me (
The Menagerie of Frozen Birds), Jeremy Shipp, David Dunwoody, Damien Walters Grintalis, Stacey Graham, and others. And all the tales take place in an ice hotel.
To enter, email me at
[email protected] and I'll choose a winner on Monday 25th June 2012.
Oh, and last Saturday after the Twisted Tales event, we were in the pub discussing how awesome Peter Tennant is and I may have shouted 'I heart Peter Tennant, his blog is hilarious'. And it's true, everyone should read his blog, especially
today.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 6/17/2012
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Another Twisted Tales event in my hometown yesterday, which of course meant I got to meet Simon Bestwick beforehand for a coffee...only I had water, but saying we met up for a water is just odd, but then we are odd. It was delightful to see Simon again.
This time the readings were by
Graham Joyce,
Alison Littlewood and
Simon Kurt Unsworth. Excellent stories by excellent people. Attendance was a little down this time, maybe because the event was held on a Saturday rather than a Friday or maybe because the weather was atrocious. After the event, Simon B, Simon U, Alison, her partner Fergus, and myself headed off to the pub for a rather teetotal affair, before I took the Bestwick on a circumnavigated route around Liverpool to get to a train station that he probably could have gotten to quicker by himself, but then I got to steal him for a little bit longer. Muahaha.
Also got to meet Dan Howarth, one of the
This is Horror team. Which reminds me (and please someone actually remind me on pay day) I need to subscribe to the This is Horror
chapbook series. Forthcoming chapbooks are by Simon Bestwick & Gary McMahon, David Moody, Conrad Williams and Joseph D'Lacey.
You can read about other Twisted Tales events
here,
here and
here - that's if you have nothing more productive to do today.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 6/10/2012
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If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you may have heard me waffle on this week about getting into clothes that were the size below the size below. I was rather excited. Anyway, it's time to go back to work (well almost - tomorrow morning - someone send me lots of cash now so that I don't have to go) and I needed to iron some of those said clothes. This is where I discover the pixies are messing with my head because...
...one of the size below the size below clothes isn't the size below the size below, it is in fact the size below the size below the size below the size below. For those who just fell off their chairs counting - that is four sizes below my diet start weight. Actually, I'm confused now too.
I checked the cardboard tag, then I checked the label. Most definitely that size below times four. At this point, I'm convinced the top that I've already tried on three times can't possibly fit. So, I try it on again. Parade around the house wearing the t-shirt asking is anything wrong with this picture, am told, 'no it looks fine to me.' To which I replied, 'Then I am the size below x4.'
I was laughed at. 'No you're not.'
Okay, I'm not. I am most definitely not but I am so wearing this t-shirt with the tag facing outwards. That'll confuse people.
(Because even when you have Freedom switched on there are always ways to procrastinate)
- The David Tennant Doctor Who figure is taller than the Matt Smith figure and for some reason I thought it would be the other way around. I should Google who is tallest. (To which the answer is a) yes David Tennant is taller and b) what an odd site and c) my Google-Fu found that in one click).
- Why have trays on your desk if you're not going to use them for anything sensible? And yes, labelling them WIP / Ideas / Guidelines / Writing Tips isn't much good if you're just going to throw everything into whatever tray you feel like.
- Making graphs is an awesome way to track your progress even if you're not making any progress because you're busy making graphs.
- Scribbling short story titles and throwing them into the trays would be awesome if you used the right trays or maybe had a short story title tray. Ooh, see now I have another reason to procrastinate and then later on I could blog* about all the silly things I write short story titles on like fruit pastille wrappers and gift tags and whatnot. You'd think there were no notebooks in this room.
- If you count all the unused notebooks in your office, you may find they total 30 (at least).
*I won't really blog about that... Although, in the words of James Bond, never say never.
I wonder which James Bond figure is the tallest?
By: Cate Gardner,
on 6/5/2012
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Three weeks ago (in this post), I realised I only had seven short stories out on submission. Wrists were slapped, stories were written, and now I have eleven stories out on submission. I must be really scary. Or at least I hope I am as I need to scare myself into writing another dozen or so. I just plucked that number out of the air, it isn't an actual 'I must write twelve stories' pact. I might write another four, I might write forty-four. Who knows! Life is one great big mystery. But there is one I really, really (and one more really) need to write and it must be scary.*
In those three weeks, I had a reprint accepted, which you'll all have noticed I got a little squee-happy about. The TOC is now online and all this happy dancing is great for my figure. Lois Tilton also reviewed the latest issue of The Journal of Unlikely Entomology over at Locus. Always good to have a story reviewed there. And I worked on one of my novels.
And in even more fabulous news, E Catherine Tobler had a story published in Clarkesworld. Clarkesworld!!! You should read it because it's awesome.
*note to self: don't just include spiders and feet.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 5/31/2012
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A few things...
Firstly, lazy people who buy supermarket pre-prepared salad deserve to discover its contents are mainly iceberg lettuce and red onion. You do not want me to breathe on you right now. Plus, discovering radishes are one calorie each makes them a heck of a lot tastier. I could eat radishes for breakfast, lunch, tea... Expect me to turn as red as a radish.
My diet has totally stalled over the last month and I was all arms flapping in the air (though obviously not flapping enough) and bemoaning how unfair it was that I was dieting and not losing anything and then I thought about it a little and realised I'd probably become complacent and let extra calories slip in thus I am on an 800 calorie a day diet for two weeks and then I'll go back to 1400. Plus I'm heading for the lift and not the stairs. Most of the time. I've also ramped up my exercise a little if only as a warning to aliens not to invade Earth. The logic in this is, they'll be flying over Liverpool, wonder what the seismic shift is, see me dancing and flee back to their mother planet.
I saved you all.
But I still can't have cake.
And now other awesome things...
You may have heard me mention how much I loved KC Shaw's
Jack of All Trades - seriously the book is delightful and I refuse to ever shut up about it - well now Kate has another book out,
Evil Outfitters Ltd which I have wanted to read for forever and is set in the same universe.
Trust me, you are going to want to read it.
And today... How much awesome book news can you take in one day? Well lots I suppose seen as you all love books.
Today, Ennis Drake's book
28 Teeth of Rage is released by Omnium Gatherum. It will be available as both and e-book and a paperback. You can read the blurb
here.
Ennis's short stories have previously appeared in
Horror Library 4 and
Twisted Legends. 28 Teeth is his first novel.
Now I shall go and scare off more aliens.
By: Cate Gardner,
on 5/28/2012
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If I had a bucket list, then getting into a
Prime Books anthology would be on it. So let me mark a tick in that box. My story 'Manipulating Paper Birds' (which first appeared in my
Strange Men collection) is to be reprinted in
Circus, Fantasy Under the Big Top edited by
Ekaterina Sedia. I've sent a huge thank you to the person who recommended the story.
A huge, huge thank you.
Isn't the cover awesome and creepy and well awesome?
By: Cate Gardner,
on 5/23/2012
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Issue 3 of Phantasmagorium is now available to
buy. (Beware happy dancing occurring in the Liverpool area). It contains a reprint of my story 'The Sour Aftertaste of Olive Lemon' along with stories by Edward Morris, Cody Goodfellow, Ann K Schwader and Michael Cisco, and is edited by Joe Pulver.
So excited to see Olive Lemon in print again.
Photo stolen from the
Phantasmagorium web page. Go check them out (please).
I shall now return to daydreaming about summer days and Mr Whippy ice cream.
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Thanks for this, Cate. Your foreword makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
So if anyone is interested in a signed hardcover, feel free to email me at inspiral at aol dot com. Put "Cate sent me!" in the subject line and I'll knock £3 off the cover price*.
*Usually £15
Very cool. Congratulations, Mike and Cate.
You're welcome, Mike. It's an awesome collection.
Thanks, Deborah.
Looks fantastic, too. Thanks for letting us know about it.