Huge apologies to Chynna Laird. I was supposed to put her interview up first thing this morning, but in the middle of a very busy work week, I totally forgot until now. So, I hope you enjoy her interview below. Chynna is one of those amazing people who has loads on her plate and still managed to write not one but two books and get them published.
Before we start the interview, though, my quick check-in. No writing today. Urg! But, I did write yesterday, so here’s where I stand after yesterday:
Current word count: 16,036
Words written yesterday: 628
Words til goal: 23,964 / 352 words a day til end of September
Now onto Chynna!
Hi Chynna. Congratulations on your book, I’m Not Weird, I Have SPD, as well as your memoir, Not Just Spirited: Living With Sensory Processing Disorder, being released in August. Please give us a little background about these books.
Samantha, I am so thrilled to be here … thanks for having me. My first book, “I’m Not Weird, I Have SPD,” is a children’s picture book I wrote for my daughter, Jaimie. Initially, I wrote it to validate her feelings and assure her that there were other children in the world who felt the same way she did. Sadly, the book stemmed from an experience at the park where a small group of children made fun of Jaimie’s behavior and her “different” reactions to things. It hit me then that, not only did I need to help other people understand Jaimie, but I also needed to help her find the words to explain what she went through to others.
Several months before this incident, I did some of my own research to understand what she was going through: I put on itchy, uncomfortable clothes (like tight-fitting or wooly/scratchy materials), I tried walking around with my shoes on the wrong feet, I shined a very bright light into my face trying to work, I put heavy winter clothes on when it was hot outside and I tried doing things with my left hand instead of my right. I know these may seem like extreme things, but these are how the world around us feel to children with SPD every day, and being a yearly volunteer for the SPD Foundation’s “National Sensory Awareness Month” in October, I already had ideas how to help me become more sensory smart.
All I wanted to do was get the slightest inclination of what it must have been like to be constantly bombarded with sensory stimulation that you can’t tune out. It wasn’t until I did these things that I saw the world through Jaimie’s eye. That’s when I had my “A-Ha!” moment and wrote the book.
The memoir is something I’d been working on for a couple of years. In fact, I was still writing it when my children’s picture book came out. I had a few agents and publishers interested in it, but it wasn’t a story that fit into their a usual editorial lineup—it was too much of a “specified niche.” But most of them told me to forge ahead and keep trying. The point of my memoir isn’t to say, “This is what you should do…” It’s to help other parents in the same position be brave enough to find the right help for their child no matter what obstacles get in the way. If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right … if your child isn’t thriving the way he or she should … keep being that squeaky wheel until someone listens.
Did you always want to be a writer or did it come out of feeling as though you had something to say?
You know what’s funny? I’m not sure I always knew I wanted to be a writer—in a professional sense—but I’ve always loved reading and writing. I think, as you said, I’ve always had something to say so I wrote it down. I just didn’t have the confidence to believe others would actually want to read what I wrote.
It wasn’t until I wrote a story about a wonderful old man that made a huge difference to me during a very difficult time in my life that I felt brave enough to share my words with others. Someone told me to enter it in ByLine magazine’s monthly contests. Not only did it win first prize in the category (“Inspirational”), the editor of the magazine at the time told me to “Get out there and get this story published!” Within a month, it was published in Angels On Earth magazine and the rest is history.
Actually, I’m pretty choosy about where I send my stuff now as I don’t have as much time as I used to to send out a ton of queries. Also, a lot of people ask me to contribute now, but I guess I know that my name will be put with whatever I write, so I want it to … matter, you know? And recently my writing has focused more on children and families with special needs, particularly those with sensory issues or SPD.
You’re the mother of four children under the age of 6, and yet you still manage to make time to write, when you’re not finishing up your BA in psychology. When do you write and how do you fit it in your schedule?
This is a great question, because as my kids get older, and refuse to nap during the day, my writing time seems to get less and less. What I do is write around life. Basically, that means you just squeeze that writing time in around all the other activities you have going on.
Being a Mama is my #1, full-time job—everything else is secondary. The places I write monthly for understand my priorities, especially since I have two special needs children, a baby and another little girl who just needs her Mom’s attention. But editors with major magazines and/or publishers need you to meet deadlines in order to meet their own. If I absolutely need to complete something during the day when my kids are here with me, then I wait until snack time when they get to eat their snack and watch their television show. For that half-an-hour I meet a deadline or answer emails … whatever is more pressing. Then I give my kids my full attention until rest time. Jaimie and Jordhan don’t always sleep during that time (they are 6 and 4, respectively, after all!) but they must have a rest, which just means having some quiet time. It’s especially important for Jaimie who has a lot of difficulty with self-regulation—her rest is to help her calm down a bit so we can do her Sensory Diet exercises. It’s an entire process to help her organize her body.
During rest time, I do a bit of work for an hour or more if I’m lucky. Then I stay up a bit later to do some more. In total, I usually have about three or four hours to do some work. During the school year, I have to divide that between school and writing, then my “stay up a bit later” time is even later. But I can’t stay up late and get up early. We Mamas need our sleep or we can’t do our main job properly, right?
The key is not to get frustrated on days where the kids don’t nap the way they should or you can’t get everything done the way you want to. There will be days where you’ll get tons done and it all balances out.
Are you planning to write any more books?
I’ve just signed on with Sunrise River Press to write a book about the Sensory Diet. This is basically a holistic approach to treating children with SPD combining nutrition, exercise, physical activities and other stimulating activities accustomed to the child’s needs, skills and what he or she is good at. The key is focusing on the natural, holistic approach to treatment and healing.
I got the idea from years of research, interviews and helping to connect parents with the resources they want. Really, it’s for parents with sensory sensitive children who have gotten their diagnosis then are seeking the best possible ways to treat/cope with it. I’ve done the research so these parents don’t have to, and they can just take the information in the book and help their child. That’s very important.
Sounds great. What advice do you have for mothers and writers making time for their passion?
I believe we all need to have something in our lives we are passionate about that helps bring us back to earth and reconnects us to all the significant parts that make us whole: mind, body and soul. And if writing is that passion for you, then you should try finding a bit of time for it each day.
As I mentioned earlier, writing is therapeutic for me—it calms me and gives me a platform to express myself in a creative way. Being a Mom is very important to me, and my children mean more to me than anything in the world. But we mothers need to allow ourselves some time to explore the other sides of ourselves once in awhile. I’ve found since I’ve slotted a bit of time—whenever it may occur—to write … to be creative … to explore a part of me that isn’t “Mommy” … it replenishes the positive energy I need for my children. After all, I’m teaching my children that having some alone/rest time each day is important for the soul, so I should be doing the same.
So, try plugging into that passion—even if it’s just for a little while each day. Mamas need that time to connect to who they are aside from being a Mama. And whether your passion is writing, reading, dancing, sculpting or art, we should all have some sort of creative energy to tap into and recharge us.
Thanks, Chynna. Any tips on managing writing along with a family?
It can be very difficult to squeeze that writing time in when children are young because they need you so much during the early years. They want, and need, our attention as they explore their little worlds. And when you have special needs children, they need even more of your time.
I’ve always tried looking at our situation like we’re a team and each of us has to do his or her part in order to make things run smoothly. I’m very lucky to have such a fantastically supportive partner, Steve. He is a very “hands-on” Dad. He comes home and helps out with the kids so I can fix dinner, he helps me with housework if I get behind, and he gives me a couple of hours to myself every weekend to go off to a coffeehouse to do some work. I think one of the most important things we do is have dinner together. We sit around the table every night—no matter how chaotic it gets—for a meal. We talk, laugh, discuss how to help Jaimie through something she’s worrying about, etc. We’ve found this time helps to connect us, even if it gets really loud some nights!
I’d have to say that the key component in managing a busy career with a busy family is balance. Balance is everyone working together, everyone practicing good communication, mom/writer knowing what her limits are and working within them, and mom/writer not taking on more than she can handle at a time. The last tip was hardest for me because I’ve always been the sort of person who needs to be doing several things at once. It becomes a problem when you have so many things on the go, you can’t give any of them your 100% attention. So, in the end, your family dynamics suffer and your writing suffers. Knowing what you can handle and when is the best way to ensure you do everything you take on to the best of your ability without wearing yourself out.
Wow! Great advice, Chynna, for all of us writers balancing our writing and the rest of our life. I absolutely agree that making the time to do what we’re passionate about is so important.
Check out Chynna’s books, and if you have questions for her, post them in the comments. You can also find out more about Chynna on her website, and hear more from her at her blog.
What a wonderful interview, Chynna! Love the picture of your kids - too cute! :)
Hi, Chynna! This is a great interview. As you know, I've read your children's book and watched the film. I also am a subscriber to your newsletter.
For the readers, my grandson has SID, so Chynna has been very helpful in providing information we are able to use.
I'd love to win a copy of the memoir!
Chynna,
Wonderful Interview! Congratulations on your book. And I love the picture of your beautiful children :)
Ruth
I appreciated the insight you shared about the how-can-I-make-sure-this-doesn't-come-back-to-bite-me aspect of putting your family's experience out there where it would be irretrievable. Memoir writers are brave folks.
Even perfectly nice people act rude out of ignorance, not maliciousness. With that in mind,
I have a question: I'm sure there was so much negativity from fellow students, neighborhood kids, adults who witnessed Jaimie's behavior in public that you're family experienced--and which no doubt broke your heart many times over. How did/do you protect Jaimie from the inevitable hurtful comments, avoidance behaviors, and judgmental sneers from those who had/have no clue? How do you keep her heart from breaking?
WOW! Good morning to all of you! =D
I'd like to tackle DB's question first. You had me tearing up! This is a very, very important issue because, as you said, people do sometimes say things or make comments about what THINK they're seeing without thinking first. Honestly, I used to get so angry when people made comments or suggested that Jaimie just needed, "A stronger hand of discipline" and I'd speak out. She was just a little girl! I'd get so angry and defensive.
But I soon realized that this didn't really help anything because I wasn't dealing with the main issue: PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND! And that's why they make the comments. Most people, I believe, aren't mean; just misinformed or ignorant about what's happening to Jaimie. Plus, Jaimie fed off my emotions as well and it often made her feel worse when I reacted from the heart.
Now I bite my tongue and calmly explain WHY Jaimie reacts the way she does. I don't pull out the statistics or the full scale demonstration with diagrams and charts but I give the basics. Saying something like, "Jaimie has SPD and it affects how she responds to sensory stimulation around her. She gets overstimulated very easily and often can't calm herself." or something similar, depending on the situation. Usually when kids ask stuff, they're just being curious. "Why does she need headphones?" "Why is Jaimie crying?" "How come Jaimie gets mad if I stand like this with her?"
Jaimie watches me answer questions or give information to other people, teachers, family, friends or even her little friends, and now she can answer stuff on her own. It's all about giving information. People may still not 'get' it but if you answer the "Why's" people seem much more receptive and accepting, you know? Plus by being calm and giving answers, it teaches our children how to advocate for themselves. And THAT'S powerful!
We've been very lucky in the last year or so because Jaimie has had SUCH amazingly supportive teachers who have taught about the senses to Jaimie's classmates then incorporate what happens when your senses aren't working the way they should (SPD). We gave copies of my children's book to all her classmates and that helped so much too. See? Knowledge breeds understanding. =D
I hope this helps you, DB. The best thing we can do for our sensational kids is talk about SPD and answer questions about it. Thanks again for bringing this up.
And thank you to Madeline, Ruth and LuAnn for coming by today. LuAnn, I'm very happy you liked the movie--it's an amazing resource. And thanks for signing up for the newsletter. (The new issue should be going out this week. =))
Chynna
What a great interview! Up until a month ago I had never heard of SPD, and then my cousin's little girl was diagnosed. She was so relieved to finally have a diagnosis--a starting point, a glimmer of the hope of normalcy for her child. May God bless you as you share your experiences with the world.
This is a great book for ANYONE who has a child with special needs or who teaches children with special needs. My stepson has a language processing disorder, and I could relate to the way Chynna felt on several occasions that she described in her book. It was inspirational and nice to know that you are not alone when trying to help your child! I can't wait for Chynna to visit my blog on Wednesday!
Margo
http://margodill.com/blog/
I am looking forward to finding your book at B&N next payday. My Grandson has SPD, and for a while there, until he was diagnosed, we thought he may have been autistic. What relief we had when we found out it wasn't. The county in which we live provided some good educational information to us in what it is and how to work with him. It's not always easy as he likes to do things on his own time and his own way. But once we get past certain barriers, those hurdles don't seem so bad. His vocabulary improved 1000 percent, his attention has improved, and he's actually learning. But it's a challenge still to get him to recognize letters, numbers etc., and repeat them back to us. Also, food is a major issue. How did you deal with that? My grandson is a "pasta-terian". He'd rather eat ramen noodles or a Meat & Mayo (meat being bologne) sandwich than eat anything else. Won't eat fruits, veggies (unless their hidden and blended in juices). I worry that he doesn't get enough nutrients, even tho we supplement. Suggestions?
Hello Chely, Margo and Claire!
I love hearing stories about parents getting put on the "right" path for diagnosis and treatment. It can still be tough but with that proper diagnosis, you understand what you're dealing and how to cope with it (and, most importantly, how to help the child cope with it.)
Chely, it really IS a huge relief, especially for caregivers who have been searching and asking for so long. Yes, knowing that your child has a special need isn't easy to hear but at least you're on the right path from that point on and you can get the right support. I'm so happy that your cousin is at that point. And thanks for your well wishes and Blessings; that means alot to me. =)
Claire, the eating side of things can be so frustrating, can't it? At one point, all Jaimie ate was pasta (LOVED your "pasta-terian" term!), apple sauce and MAYBE some yogurt. But it all had to be plain, smooth and untextured. We don't realize it but you're actually using alot of your senses when you eat: SMELL the aroma of the food; SEE the colors and textures; TASTE the textures and flavors; even using those muscles in the mouth and hand/arm to eat with. And when you throw in tactile issues on top of that...WELL...it's quite a show at mealtime, isn't it?
We found that once Jaimie began her specified OT therapy, had her Sensory Diet in place, she slowly began to tolerate different sensations a little better. It is a very slow process and, believe me, I understand your concerns. (Jaimie was always in the 90th or higher percentile for her height and between 10 and 25 for her weight.) What we always try doing is work with the things she likes...that she'll eat NOW...find the healthiest version of that then expand on it. So, if your grandson likes pasta, find the version of it that is actually whole grain but LOOKS like the white stuff he likes. Mixing the fruits into smoothies and the veggies into pasta sauce or other types of sauces is wonderful too. (You can even sneak some into burgers or meatballs, if he likes those.)And we discovered by cutting out anything with dyes, colors or artificial flavorings was HUGE for Jaimie.
I have a great recipe for YUMMY oatmeal muffins that we "brainify" with flax seed oil and some wheat germs and other good stuff. (Be careful with that flax seed oil though--it has a very strong flavor!) Making little "tweaks" to the things they already eat is the best way to start. And I'm sure, as with Jaimie, once your little guy gets going in his therapy, you'll see that he'll slowly but surely be willing to try other things. =)
Margo, thank you so much for your comments about the book. One of the most important messages I wanted to give with the book is that you need to trust your gut, arm yourself with knowledge then help others understand. Teachers, family members, friends will all be in contact with our child--whatever his needs are---and we need to help them learn how to interact with our child. After all, if the child is going to therapy to learn how to interact in their worlds and the people in it, shouldn't those people know how to interact with THEM? I"m so looking forward to visiting your site on Wednesday, Margo!
Thanks to you all for your comments so far. This is wonderful.
Chynna
Chynna, great interview! As you know, my four-year-old son has autism and many sensory issues. I like how you handled your answer about how your children will regard your stories later. That's something I've wondered about, too. I hope that when my little guy is older, he's able to ask questions about matters like this and then I can explain to him, "That was how things were then, and you should be so proud of how far you've come!"
I know that day is a long ways away, but still... I yearn for that time when we can actually converse like that.
Best of luck on your blog tour!
~Beth Cato
This was a very interesting interview... I don't know very much about sensory issues but I can just imagine how awful it would be... especially in a noisy city...
Best of luck with the books! May the words flow in 2010!
~Dianna
Oh Beth. Thanks so much for commenting. I pray that one day not too far away you'll be sitting down and explaining all of those things to your son--and he'll be able to talk to you about all the things he's thinking about, wondering and everything in between. =) It's always wonderful to hear from you.
Thanks, Dianna. I appreciate the "Good Luck!" Some days, I really think I need it. =)
Warmly,
Chynna
Chynna: I had never heard of SPD before so thank you for sharing and informing us all. This has been some journey you've been taking with Jaimie and God bless you for your strength and courage. Good luck with the book and your blog tour.
ps: That is the sweetest photo titled: Chynna's Beauties.
Lora Mitchell
Great interview and this sounds like a most fascinating book. Good on the author for spreading a message of hope and understanding about this little known disorder. I I'd like to be counted in the giveaway.
Sounds like a facinating book. Please enter me in the giveaway.
jenndiggy at gmail dot com
I am thrilled to have learned so much from your interview. I would love to read this book, and learn even more. Thanks for the opportunity.
bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
I'd like to win this.
[email protected]
Very interesting- My 21 year old son has something similar to this.
Diane Baum
[email protected]
I had never heard of SPD until now!
[email protected]
Wonderful Interview! Congratulations on your book.
mightynaynay(at)cs.com
Chynna,
I never heard of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) before and I'd love to read your book. Thank for the information and congratulations on your book!
I would love to read this book. Thanks!
Wow... I really though I was having a crappy day. Didn't feel tlike dealing with anyone so thought I'd just check out some blogs and see what was out there and came across this one. Man, talk about smacking me right back to reality. This is such a touching story and what a great interview! I am very intrigued by this book and would love to read it now that I know of it.
titletowntreasures(AT)yahoo(DOT)com
I really liked your insight on marketing and promoting. My boyfriend jus finished his first comic, and we are about to start the process of getting it published! I would love to read this. Its a disorder Ive heard of often, but still don't really know a whole lot about it.
[email protected]
sounds very interesting and informative
Sounds like a great book and I'd love to hear more of this story.
ncschools at yahoo dot com
My 11 year od son has SPD and after years and years of battles, he's finally making wonderful progress at a wonderful school! I'd love to read this book. I'm sure we've shared many similar experiences.
The interview was very interesting. Thanks for the great contest!
Sounds like an interesting read :)