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I had so much fun doing the last portfolio rehash that I decided to do another one.

Back in 2013 I did a series of mouse illustrations. They were an experiment into using bolder colors and different materials. While I learned a lot from this phase of my illustration journey, it isn’t exactly representative of the kind of work I really want to be doing. Something just felt… off. So I posed the question to myself: can I re-do some of these pieces, and bring them to the next level?

Here are some of the things I liked about this piece:

1. This has a fun “hobbit hole” or “wind in the willows” feel to it
2. There are lots of charming details that enrich the mouse’s world
3. This is the sort of thing I would’ve loved when I was a kid

Here are some of the issues I defined:

1. The mouse lacks personality and narrative. He could be pushed to be a more robust character.
2. The piece feels stiff. It would be stronger with a looser, more painterly feel. (Easier said than done, am I right?)
3. The perspective is a little too extreme and is causing some distortion in the foreground. The high horizon line makes us feel a little distant–the exact opposite of the cozy moment I had in mind.
4. The stairwell behind the mouse is dark and ominous. I keep looking up those stairs waiting for something to creep in from behind. Not good.

The mouse’s lack of character was the biggest problem, so I went back to the drawing board and spent some time coming up with a simple story to add context: a little mouse goes on a wintertime visit to his grandfather’s house. With two mice, this cozy scene would be a perfect family moment.

I redesigned the piece with a round, egg-like composition in order to enhance the safety and stability of the scene. I made a special effort to keep things loose while still including many of the same details of the original. Cold pressed paper and a messier technique helped to add texture. Here’s the final result: (Click to enlarge.)

One of the most important qualities that an illustrator must develop is a critical eye to see room for improvement.  I went through my portfolio recently and found an illustration that had been there for ages, since the very beginning of my sojourn into illustration. It was originally an exercise for the weekly illustration challenge called “Illustration Friday.” The piece just wasn’t working with my portfolio anymore, but it had enough strong points to be worth a second look.

Here it is, in all its glory. Circa 2010.

Here are some of the things I liked about the piece:

1. The magician’s personality was unmistakable.
2. There was a lot of dynamic action.
3. The composition was fairly strong, with the character well framed by the window.

Here are some of the issues I identified:

1. Was this really a piece for a picture book? It seemed more like middle grade subject matter. It would be more appropriate in black and white, displayed in the middle grade gallery.
2. What exactly was the story here? An interaction between two characters would create more narrative.
3. There were several issues with the perspective and technique.

After my analysis, I decided to remake this piece using my black and white style. I chose a portrait format in order to enhance the drama of the magical ribbons. The open door in the background was the perfect place to add a young observer, someone to witness the magic. Here’s the final result:

Have you ever redone a piece in your portfolio? How did it work out?

Struggling writers are not often the best judges of struggling writing.

Quick reminder for those that have forgotten or have never heard of the four stages of learning.
Unconscious Incompetence
We don't know what we don't know
Conscious Incompetence
We know what we don't know and are shocked!
Conscious Competence
We are applying what we know but it's like walking through treacle with delicious little pools of bubbly, uplifting, lemonade every now and then.
Unconscious Competence
We know everything (ha!) and can write via a mind meld with our characters.

I just won a scholarship to the Craft and Business of Writing Children's Picture Books class through the Children's Book Academy. I've been happy dancing since I heard the great news! The class is taught by Random House editor Kelly Delaney and Mira Reisberg, and includes 25+ guest experts, worksheets and templates, and critiquing webinars. Plus, there will be Golden Ticket opportunities to submit directly to an agent or editor and bypass the slush pile or closed house submission policy. I can't wait to start this class at the end of the month!

I shared my news on Facebook and loved celebrating with everyone—then realized that it would be great to keep the celebration going by paying my good luck forward and helping someone else. I’m so grateful for this opportunity, and decided to give away a free picture book critique (or up to 5 pages of an MG or YA). When I asked Mira, she loved the idea, and then generously offered to give away a picture book critique. So click on the Rafflecopter widget below and enter for your chance to win a critique with Mira or me.

If you attend Mira’s free webinar on Friday night, June 19, at 8:30 pm EST, you’ll have the chance to win a picture book critique with Random House editor Kelly Delaney. I’m definitely going to be there. It’s called: Finding Your Writer's Voice, Finding Your Characters' Voices. It’ll help you learn what a writer’s voice is and how to develop yours and see how characters' voices are a part of your writer's voice. Plus, you’ll have the chance to connect with a Random House editor who is actively looking to acquire great picture books.

This scholarship came at the perfect time for me. I'm usually a very prolific writer (I actually wrote the first draft of one of my novels in 11 days during NaNoWriMo and wrote the first draft of nine picture books during the seven days of NaPiBoWriWee one year)...but because of health issues with my daughters, I haven't been as productive as usual. I also tend to give my novels more attention and my picture books have been begging me to do something like this for a while. I've had some interest in my picture books, but something always seems to hold them back from getting that magical yes. I'm hopeful that this awesome interactive online class will help me make my picture books sparkle enough to dazzle editors, agents, and future readers.

I've seen so many raves about this class. Some online friends have said that it's 'life-changing, the equivalent of 20 conferences, and better than complete MFA programs'. Thank you so much for giving me a scholarship, Mira! I don't often talk about my disability, but I've had about 70% hearing loss in both ears since I was 35 and have had to wear hearing aids since then. I'd love the chance to make all of my picture books shine, and would especially love to get my PB, Sound Detective, published one day. I’ll never forget what it felt like to realize how bad my hearing had gotten, and that I’d have to wear hearing aids for the rest of my life. I was horrified at first, but quickly changed my mind when I realized all the amazing sounds I had been missing, and how much easier it is to interact with people with my hearing aids in. I was surprised to see that there aren’t many books for children that have a character with hearing loss, and I’d love to use my experience to help children going through something similar—and also help raise more awareness in others.

Good luck to everyone entering for a free critique! I’ll announce the winners on Friday. LiveJournal often doesn't show the Rafflecopter widget, so if you don't see it below, click here to enter! a Rafflecopter giveaway

Don’t forget about the #PBPitch Twitter party on Wednesday, June 24^th. It’s a great opportunity to pitch your completed and polished picture books online to agents and editors. Definitely check out their website—in addition to info about the fun pitch contest, they have a list of 100+ agents who rep picture books!

If I could give only one piece of advice to those who want to write for children and teens, it would be to find a good critique group and make a commitment to it. I value my critique group more than you can imagine. Some of us have been in it for more than 10 years, while others are fairly new. They are all amazing writers, and as we have evolved, we have learned what works for us. Most importantly, we have learned how to offer really useful and necessary critiques, which is definitely a skill that can be learned and perfected and which doesn't necessarily just happen.

How to find or form a critique group:

One easy way is to check out the SCBWI walk-in critique groups via the web site. These are walk-in groups, so you can simply arrive and check it out. You might find others with whom you'd like to start a regular group.

While on the web site, you can also contact one of our region's critique group coordinators to get their help in finding others near you.

Attend local writing events, including SCBWI meetings and conferences, where you might meet others to form a group or others who are looking for a new group member.

Post on the SCBWI Utah/southern Idaho Facebook page and see if others want to form a group with you.


How do critique groups work?

There are several logistical choices available to a group.

PLACE and FREQUENCY: Some groups meet weekly, others monthly. Some are online groups. The group might have to try different meeting options to find what works best for that unique group of people. My critique group meets in one another's homes. I've been in other groups that meet in a public place or the home of just one group member or a mentor.

MANUSCRIPT SUBMISSION: I've seen this issue handled dozens of ways. In one group we brought several copies of our submissions to the meeting, where each person would receive a copy to read along as the author read out loud. This was fun for me, as I love being read to, but it had some limitations as far as critiques. Reading aloud took up much of our meeting time, and the critiques usually weren't very in-depth, as the readers never had time to ponder or reread the piece. My current critique group sends in 1-2 chapters (we are all working on novels, so this works for us) about a week before the group meets. It is up to each group member to read all the submissions before coming to the meeting. Then we use our meeting time more efficiently, as we jump right into critiques. Some groups do only a few pages of each manuscript each time, while others will do large chunks. How you handle this depends on a lot of factors, such as how many people are in the group, how much each person is writing between meetings, and how much time you have during a meeting. My group meets on Saturday evenings, so we can take more or less time if we feel like it. A group I used to be in met on Wednesday evenings and had only two hours to get through about eight manuscripts, so we were very focused and limited.

NUMBER OF PEOPLE: I think the ideal size of a critique group is somewhere between 3-8 people. More than that is just unwieldy in terms of having enough time to give each person a useful critique. You want at least three people so you have a diversity of opinions. I value the varied opinions of my critique group members, because if they ALL agree, I am pretty certain what needs to be revised. And if they don't all agree, I can pick and choose which approach I might take.

HOW TO CRITIQUE: This is the crucial piece. Some people like to focus on commas and spelling. That's not critique. I suggest focusing on questions. If something brings up a question for a reader, that is useful information for the author. If you're writing a mystery, those questions may be exactly what you're going for. On the other hand, maybe you thought you were being really clear, but the critiquers' questions indicate you need to do some revising to get at the clarity you want. Another way to look at the big picture is to think about the main elements like character, setting, plot, world building, etc. Sometimes it's fun to bring some useful exercises or information from any conference or workshop you've attended and focus on that element in all the manuscripts. The "sandwich" critique is always a nice way to approach a work: say the things you like in the manuscript, then concentrate on problem areas, then end with more nice things.

CHOOSING/ADDING MEMBERS: Our critique group is straightforward and sometimes ruthless. We are all veteran critiquers who are used to the give and take of brutal critique (not mean or harsh, but just absolutely honest), and not everyone is up for that. Some people have less thick skins and require a softer approach. We screen any potential new members to make sure they are up for our kind of blunt critique. If everyone can be honest about what they are ready for, it helps. I find it's also helpful if all the members of the group are writing in the same genre--such as picture books or YA. One magazine writer in a group I used to be in felt like her two pages each month versus everyone else's full chapter was just not a fair give and take. She was not the best fit for the group.

My best advice is to find a group of fellow children's writers and jump in. Be patient with each other and with the process as you find your way as a unit. If you feel like you don't know what you're doing, maybe occasionally bring in a more experienced author for some mentoring, or do some research. There are plenty of books on starting critique groups. Attending conferences and workshops will also teach you skills that will help you improve your critiquing skills.

by Neysa CM Jensen
in Boise, Idaho

Looking for a writing group in or around Houston? I don’t recall what made me start looking for these groups, but once I got started, I was amazed at how many organized writing groups there are in and around Houston. The groups listed here range from large organizations like SCBWI and The Writers’ Guild to small critique groups, and most of them  have writers of various genres. Many are open to new members, so if you see one in your area that looks like it might be a good fit for you, give them a holler.

Bay Area Writers League (BAWL)
Clear Lake Area Writers (CLAW)
CyFair Writers
Dawn Ireland’s Critique Group
Get Trapped In A Book Writers Group
Houston Science Fiction/Fantasy Writers
Houston Storytellers’ Guild
Houston Writers’ Group at Rice Village
Houston YA/MG Writers
Houston Writers’ Guild
Island Scribes
Monday Night Writers Houston
Mystery Writers of America
Northwest Houston Science Fiction/Fantasy Writers Workshop
Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI)
Texas Comic Creators Consortium
The Final Twist Writers
The Woodlands Writers Guild
The Write Stuff Houston
West Houston Writers Group
White Oak Writers
Write Inside the Loop
Writers and Storytellers Conroe Group
Writers of the Woodlands
Writers on the Storm, ACFW

Don’t quite fit with any of these groups? Grab a few friends and make your own! Name yourselves and get a blog. If you know of others (that have an internet presence) in or near Houston, let me know. I’ll revisit this page from time to time with updates.

Photo by Vicky Lorencen

See, even though writing by its nature is a solo sport, that doesn’t mean you can’t invite others to join your team. By others, I mean other writers who can give constructive criticism–aka stab you in the front, to hit you where it hurts most–right in your writing.

Losing weight, staying on track with an exercise regime, even cleaning out the garage, are all easier if you have at least one person to come alongside you support, encourage–maybe even push–you. Why should writing be any different? If you’re frustrated with your lack of progress, either in term of pages or improvement, consider opening yourself up to a good, ol’ fashioned front stab.

[At least] three things are certain:

1. Someone pushing you without your permission will only make you want to push back.

2. You need to ask someone to hold you accountable. Nobody volunteers for that job, but most people will say yes if you invite them, especially if you’re willing to reciprocate.

3. You will make better and faster progress with accountability and input, than you will without it.

This is why I am so grateful for my critique group. They’re a friendly bunch of front stabbers who want me to become a better writer and I’m happy to help them do the same.

If you feel stuck with your writing, let me encourage you seek out your own critique group (ask around on Facebook, via your SCBWI chapter list serve or your local library). If a group isn’t already in place, start one. And remember, you don’t have to let geography limit you. Online critique groups can work very well and can include writers from all over the planet, if you like. (I suggest keeping your group Earth-bound. Anything beyond that can get too complicated.) If joining/starting a group sounds like too long of a leap, consider partnering with another writer and setting up a regular schedule for exchanging pages.

Connecting with other writers for criticism and accountability will make a positive difference for you. I promise.

G’head. Take a stab at it.

Photo by Vicky Lorencen

My thanks to Ben Redmond, Director of Student Ministries at the Hub, for inspiring this post. He’s a wise man.

by

Erin Bowman

—

The topic of critique partners is something that’s been covered several times on Pub Crawl. But today I want to talk specifically about giving feedback.

The best critique partner relationships occur when there is trust and respect between the two writers. If you’re working with someone whose work you despise, you’re never going to trust their feedback about yours. Similarly, if you don’t respect them as a writer, or if they don’t seem to be respectful in how they give you feedback, that relationship is going to crash and burn.

Last summer I was on the Young Authors Give Back Tour with fellow Pub Crawlers. Part of our tour included free writing workshops with young aspiring writers. When we talked about the necessity of finding a good critique partner, Pub Crawl alum Sarah Maas suggested giving your CP feedback in what she coined a “critique sandwich.”

I’m not sure if this is a term of her invention, or something adapted from other advice she’s heard, but her advice to the young writers stuck with me. Essentially, your feedback should be a balance of good and bad, and crafted with care; a delicious crit sandwich, if you will.

You open with with something positive about your CP’s story – What’s working, what you loved, elements you thought were done especially well. Think of this as the bottom roll of a deli sandwich.

Then the bulk of your critique should focus on the less-than-positive aspects of the story — What’s not working, plot holes, character inconsistencies, world building issues, and so on. This is the meat of the sandwich. You can layer on some toppings too (mention smaller issues), but as a critique partner (rather than a beta reader), you want to focus most of your energy on big picture issues.

Finally, end your critique with additional positive remarks — Something else you loved, or better yet, cheerleading. You want your CP to feel motivated and encouraged about making the story better, not overwhelmed and lost. Think of this last bit of positive feedback as the top roll of your sandwich.

And just like that, you have a delicious, carefully crafted crit sandwich for your CP. (I can still picture Sarah holding an invisible sandwich in the air and pretending to bite into it as I say this.)

Here’s a real-world critique sandwich example. Sooz recently read my first draft of VENGEANCE ROAD. (Well, more like the 20th draft, but it was her first time reading, and I’d revised the book as far as I could on my own.) Sooz’s feedback (paraphrased and simplified), went something like this:

1. First of all, your world is fantastic. I could picture everything, feel the dust and the plains and the heat. Really great.
2. I think you need to take a closer look at your characters and their emotional arcs. Kate has this mission of revenge, but she’s so focused on it that she almost becomes one-dimensional and selfish in her goals. Why are so many people helping her when she offers nothing in return? Maybe there’s a way to make her more sympathetic. [Sooz threw out some ideas] Similarly, [more thoughts on secondary characters and their motives]
3. Lastly, I think you have the bones of a great story here. The plot is there, and the world-building is great. Making the characters more nuanced and realistic is only going to make the story as a whole that much more compelling.

This feedback was actually given to me by video chat, so we spent several hours on point #2, brainstorming together and bouncing ideas back and forth. (If you have the means, I highly suggest this route when working with a CP. Beta reading feedback is usually fine via email, but for the heavy lifting, it is so nice to hash things out in real-time, face-to-face.)

As you can see, Sooz, whether she meant to or not, provided me with a delicious critique sandwich. If you’ve been working with a dedicated CP for awhile and have a good rapport, there’s a good chance you subconsciously give each other feedback like this, too.

But if you’re new to critiquing, or working with a new critique partner for the first time, I highly recommend keeping the “critique sandwich” in mind as you provide your feedback. It’s the perfect balance of encouragement and criticism. No one writes a perfect first draft (or book for that matter), but feedback that focuses entirely on negative or broken aspects of the book is a sure way to kill someone’s drive. As writers, we know 99% of writing is revision, but it so inspirational to hear what is working in any given draft. I can’t stress enough how important it is to cap your feedback with these positive aspects.

Before you go, I’m curious: Do you give your CP feedback (subconsciously or purposely) in a sandwich format? What other tips do you have providing tactful feedback?

For further Pub Crawl reading on this topic, check out the ‘Conversation between Critique Partners‘ series:
The Basics / World Building / Sharing Ideas & Stories / Trusting Your Work

—

Erin Bowman is a YA writer, letterpress lover, and Harry Potter enthusiast living in New Hampshire. Her TAKEN trilogy is available from HarperTeen (book three out 4/14/15), and VENGEANCE ROAD publishes with HMH in fall 2015. You can visit Erin’s blog (updated occasionally) or find her on twitter (updated obsessively).

When writers get together, sometimes we talk about which we like better: first drafts or revisions. It seems that most of us like revising more, and there are many good reasons for this. I personally have a "grass is always greener" response: I like whichever one I'm not doing.

Currently, I'm in the midst of a revision on one YA novel and the first draft of another. While it feels and sounds somewhat schizophrenic, it kind of works for me.

I really love first drafts. Maybe everyone does. I mean, it's usually a fairly new idea, which means exciting, intriguing, fresh, not yet muddied with many critiques and different ideas about where it should go. You can experiment with voice and format, structure and characters. It's play time. No one can take their first draft seriously. And that's why I like it so much. I allow myself to be completely free to write crap, to not make sense, to not censor my ideas, and to just let it all be so very messy. How much fun is that? I can leave large gaps in narrative with just a note to myself that I need to add a scene here that is interesting. I don't actually have to write the interesting scene. I am getting to know my characters and their back stories. I get to create the world they will inhabit.

The hard thing about first drafts for me is that you have to create something out of nothing. While I find this creatively fulfilling and stimulating, it's also extremely hard. It's like being pregnant. You have to create one cell at a time until the whole being is there. It's exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. Sometimes the creative spirit is there and the writing seems to fill the page almost magically. Oftentimes, the writing feels like concentrating on each single breath you take in  a day, as if you have to make yourself breathe instead of it being an involuntary act your body does automatically.

But when all is said and done, you have a mess of a first draft. Ugh. Now you have to make it into something that other people might want to read. This is really hard work. It's so natural to look at this beautiful baby we've created and think it is just perfect and needs no additional work. But we all know that's not true at all.

However, revisions can be a playful time as well. I love to get critiques from my writing group, from editors at workshops, from my daughters who are also writers. There are so many wonderful ideas and possibilities. I get to look at them all and decide which ones fit the story I'm trying to tell. It's a collaborative time for me. A social time.

The comforting aspect of revisions for me is that at least I have something already there to work with. However, much of it will be cut by the time I finish revising. I always save those sections, just in case I decide to use a certain turn of phrase or save the scene for some other book. So I never really delete things--just save them  for another day. For example, one of the characters in my current revision project came to me more than 25 years ago, and waited around patiently until her turn came. Sometimes I cut several chapters completely. Less experienced authors sometimes gasp when I tell them this, but I never regret having written those scenes--or having to cut them. They were a piece I needed to write in order to know something important about my characters or my story. It just doesn't work in the storytelling.

Usually, for me, the first draft is fast and dirty. I just want to get the whole thing out so it's all there on the page. I rush too much and don't include enough detail. Structure and meaning often fall by the wayside. And I skip a lot of internal and emotional plot in order to get the bare bones set up.

So revision is my change to go back and add the rest of the parts to that skeleton, the sinew and the connective tissue. The guts and the muscle. It's often a layering process. I usually end of up a layer of skin first to keep it all held together, and then I add the internal organs to keep the life force flowing. Bit by bit, until I get the teeny nerve endings in there in the final revision, the ones that help it all make sense and transfer imagery and meaning. This part is more like raising the child you gave birth to--it takes a long time and a lot of work (hopefully not 18 years, though). Eventually, you launch it into the world.

My favorite part of all is the having done it. Being done, knowing I put my best into it. It's such a satisfying feeling to see what I have made. Just like the baby I raised into an adult--it is so amazing, beyond my imagination actually, what came from my efforts.

What happens after that is out of my hands.


by Neysa CM Jensen
(in Boise, Idaho)

" Saucy is a real character dealing with real stuff—hard stuff that doesn’t have easy answers, not in real life and not in fairy tales, either. This is a really compelling and ultimately hopeful story. Highly recommended." – Debby Dahl Edwardson, National Book Award finalist and author of My Name is Not Easy Read a sample chapter.

Our local critique group met yesterday and it was an exciting meeting. Almost everyone sent the first chapter of a new project. That’s exciting. It means that the group is healthy, that we are collectively working hard on our stories.

Critiquing Manuscripts

I learn almost as much when I critique manuscripts, as when I get a critique. Because I come to a story with a fresh eye, I can see the strengths and weaknesses in ways that the author can’t. It helps me to understand the role of a reader better.

Two things strike me: First, the author must put it on the page. When I ask for clarification on something, the author ALWAYS launches into an explanation. In other words, in her mind, it’s perfectly clear. The problem is that it didn’t get onto the page.

Second, our work is iterative. That is, we do a version, and then tweak, and then repeat and repeat and repeat. With each revision, the story is closer to perfect. We close the gap on communicating clearly and with emotion. One author’s plot and characterization were great except it lacked emotion. Can you layer that in later? Of course. Anything can be layered in later. That’s the revision process.

First Drafts. But this time, the main thing I said was, “Keep going!” These were mostly the first chapter of a new project and at this fragile moment of the writing process, the writer mostly needs encouragement to continue. For one writer, this is especially important because this was the first chapter of the very first novel she has ever attempted. At that point, well, all you can do is turn cheerleader. “Go! Go! Go!”

Getting Critiqued

When it was time for comments to turn to my own story, I felt the familiar stomach pinch that says, “Please love me.” But that quickly turned into the wise and mature response (Ahem!), “Please tell me the truth.”

It seems I have a major plot problem in the story. Two people noticed it and others agreed. And, well, OK, I sorta agree. Ok. I do agree.

And the revision won’t be that hard or that major when I sit down to do it.

In fact, I’m excited. The story pleased me, but I knew I was still in the early phases of revision. The critique groups comments were MORE than I ever hoped for. Exactly what I needed.

Why do we ever fear feedback? Ours is a business of communication. Ideas, characters, images–things in my head should be reproduced in the reader’s head EXACTLY, through the medium of words written on a page. Duh! I need to check that the communication actually happened. And when it’s not passed on EXACTLY, I need to tweak.

Thanks, critique group! You’re the best!

You don't even have to be female to enter the WOW! Spring 2014 Flash Fiction Contest sponsored by WOW! Women on Writing--you just have to write your best 750 words or less and pay a ten dollar entry fee (additional ten dollars for critique).

I've entered several of their contests, placed and not placed, and I highly recommend not only the contest, but the website itself. When I started writing seriously in 2007, I discovered Wow! Women on Writing,and I felt I'd found friends, people to whom I could learn from and whose words encouraged me.

If you've never visited their site, you've got a lot of good stuff waiting for you. Check out current articles and contests, and don't forget to pore through the archives. This is the kind of website that makes you feel as though you are in the company of friends.

Good luck, and have a great day!

The story of the oldest known wild bird in the world. At 62+, she hatched a new chick in February, 2013. Read her remarkable story. A biography in text and art.

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What do you do when your friends or your editors don’t like your story?

This has indeed happened to me several times, the most recent on a current WIP. One of my reliable first readers has been hesitant to say much about this story and I realized that it’s because she doesn’t like it. The story is a tragedy and while I soften the blow at the end, it does end tragically. READER said that the ending was a “sharp left turn.” But for me, it’s a straight arrow right to the heart of the story.

What to do? Revise to please my reader, or keep it “my way”?

I would be a fool to ignore feedback! Of course, I need to know how others view my stories and where the communication breaks down. I will always revise to make sure I am communicating clearly. What is in my head needs to be clearly reproduced in the reader’s head through the medium of words. That’s communication through writing.

But that’s not the case here. Instead, there’s a gap in vision, or an honest difference in how another person view story and how a story should unfold. READER wanted a happy ending.

There are actually four ways a story can end:

1. Happy/Happy. The protagonist gets what s/he wants and that makes him/her happy.
2. Happy/Sad. The protagonist gets what s/he wants and that makes him/her sad.
3. Sad/Happy. The protagonist fails to get what s/he wants, but in the end, that makes him/her happy.
4. Sad/Sad. The protagonist fails to get what s/he wants and that makes him/her sad.

My story is the third kind. The protagonist does not get what she wants, but in the end, her goals are accomplished in a different way and she is content and peaceful about it all. I actually think this is a more realistic ending, more true to life. How many times do you get what you want, exactly how you want it? Not often! Yet much of literature is the Happy/Happy kind of ending. That’s great: I do those endings most of the time, too. But this ending satisfies my ideas for this story.

You can’t get a Happy Face from readers all the time. But I always need a Happy Face from myself.

The post I Don’t Like Your Story appeared first on Fiction Notes.

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Fear

No, don’t tell me what’s wrong with this novel. I don’t want to hear it. Minor problems? OK, I’ll fix those. But major structural, plot or character problems? Don’t tell me.

Cynthia Ozynick says, “Writing is essentially an act of courage.” When I get an honest critique, my courage fails me.

I fear the revision needed: I won’t ever be able to “get it right.” Obviously, I thought that I had communicated my intentions well in the first draft, or I would have changed it before you read it. But you say that you don’t understand, or that I’m inconsistent, or that I’m unfocused. How could that be? I see it so clearly. And if my vision of my story is so skewed, then how will I ever get it right?

Critiques, especially honest and on-target critiques, are fearful things. I know that I need them; but they are painful, emotionally draining, and confidence shaking.

But I need them. OK, can you give me a minute? Let me find my mask of courage. There. I have it on. Now bring on your best critique!

More reading:

Other thoughts on critique of an artist and humility.
Art and Fear: One of my favorite books on the psychology of making art. It deals with fears about our unworthiness, fears of critiques, fears of displaying our art and much more.

Top 10 Ways to Stop the Sting of Critiques

Here are my slightly tongue-in-cheek Top 10 Ways to take the Sting out of Critiques!

Take the Sting Out of Critques!

1. Avoidance: Have someone else read the critique for you and only highlight the good comments. Read only the highlighted comments.
2. Revenge: Give the creep back an ever harsher critique than you just got.
3. Denial: Write out the reasons why the critiquer is totally off base. Ignore all suggestions.
4. Excitement: Fake excitement about the critique and tell everyone you know exactly what’s wrong with the story and how you plan to fix it.
5. Suspicion: Read each comment with the suspicion that the critiquer is trying to get your manuscript out of the running, so their own manuscript will do well. Therefore, you can safely ignore any comments you want to.
6. Surprise: Allow each comment to be a revelation at how far off base this critiquer is.
7. Pride: Take pride in your ability to “take it” from the tough ones.
8. Loneliness: Understand that you and you alone are in the situation of receiving harsh critiques; such things have never been written about any manuscript and will never be written again.
9. Forgiveness: Realize that the critiquer has sinned by so harshly criticizing your story and at some point they will have to come and ask for forgiveness; be ready to give it gracefully.
10. Hope: Find hope in the good things the critiquer noticed, and Hope in the process of revision.

Anna Olswanger has agreed to be our Guest Critiquer for June’s First Page. Deadline will be June 18th, so I wanted to give you an early heads up. For those who like the picture prompt, you will find it at the bottom of this post.

Anna Olswanger is a literary agent with Liza Dawson Associates in New York. Anna has been a literary agent since 2005 and has sold to Boyds Mills Press, Marshall Cavendish, Dutton, HarperCollins, McElderry, Pomegranate, and Random House Children’s Books, among other publishers. Specializing in: middle grade and young adult fiction and nonfiction, some adult fiction and nonfiction, children’s illustrated books, and Judaica.

Anna is particularly interested in working with author-illustrators.Anna enjoys discovering new authors and illustrators. She is looking for “voice,” the sound and rhythm of an author that could be no one else’s, and has a special interest in children’s picture books (author-illustrators only), adult nonfiction, Judaica, animal stories, and ghost stories. Contact her at [email protected].

Ms. Olswanger has a background in editing and has worked with the author Mary Ann Schaffer on the adult novel The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society, which became an international bestseller.

She represents Jim Carroll’s THE BOY AND THE MOON (Sleeping Bear Press), Nell Dickerson’s GONE (BelleBooks), Luli Gray’s ANT & GRASSHOPPER (McElderry), Michael Hall’s MY HEART IS LIKE A ZOO and PERFECT SQUARE (Greenwillow), Zack Miller’s TRADESTREAM YOUR WAY TO PROFITS: Building a Killer Portfolio in the Age of Social Media (Wiley), Margaret Peot’s INKBLOT (Boyds Mills Press) and THE SUCCESSFUL ARTIST’S CAREER GUIDE (North Light Books/F+W) Barry Rothstein’s EYE-POPPING 3-D BUGS (Chronicle), Jennifer Sattler’s SYLVIE (Random House Children’s Books), CHICK ‘N’ PUG and PIG KAHUNA (Bloomsbury Children’s Books), and upcoming books by Allida Black (Penguin Classics), Cathy Fishman (Cavendish), Brett Hartman (Cinco Puntos), Michelle Markel (Balzer & Bray, Eerdmans, and Chronicle), Patricia Hruby Powell (Chronicle), Alan Rabinowitz (Houghton Mifflin), Vince Vawter (Delacorte) and composer Marvin Hamlisch (Dial).

In addition to being an agent, she is the author of the picture book Shlemiel Crooks, a Sydney Taylor Honor Book and a Koret International Jewish Book Award Finalist.

You may have attended some of her workshops, like Why Was My Manuscript Rejected? 3 Agents, 3 Opinions, with two other agents (see www.3LiteraryAgents.com). Writers in the Northeast may also know Anna, because she coorinated the Jewish Children’s Book Writers’ Conference at the 92nd Street Y for many years. In addition, she founded the website http://www.Host-a-Jewish-Book-Author.com

Anna’s own website is www.olswanger.com.

Anna Olswanger, Literary Agent

Liza Dawson Associates 350 Seventh Avenue,  Ste. 2003 New York, NY 10001 Direct tel.: +1-201-791-4699

www.olswanger.com www.shlemielcrooks.com www.host-a-jewish-book-author.com

Submission Guidelines for Anna Olswanger:

I only accept email queries (no snail mail queries, please.)

Please insert (cut and paste) the first five pages of your manuscript into the body of your email.  (I’m leery of opening attachments from addresses I don’t know.)

Queries to: [email protected]

Lisa Dawson Associates says:

• We understand the priorities and passions that motivate editors, publicists, sales directors, and marketing directors.
• We consider each of our books to be an exciting kernel that can grow – into an international bestseller, into a movie, into a calendar, into a career. That’s the power of a thrillingly told story, and that’s what people expect from our submissions.

Liza Dawson Associates

350 Seventh Avenue, Suite 2003

New York, NY 10001

www.LizaDawsonAssicates,com

June’s Picture Prompt illustration was created by Shawna JC Tenney. She was recently featured on Illustrators Saturday. http://kathytemean.wordpress.com/2013/04/20/illustrator-saturday-shawna-jc-tenney/

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Some groups provide lots of written comments!

• Look at what people write. Picture books are different novels.  If you are the only novelist, you might not get the help you need from a group of picture book writers.
• Ask why they write. People who write to publish often have different goals than people who write just for the fun of creating a story.
• Look at their publishing choices. If your focus is traditional publishing, a group focused on self-publishing may not meet your needs.  Variety can be good, but if you are the only one providing that variety, you might need to look elsewhere.
• Learn the ropes.  Every group works differently.  Some read their work aloud.  Others pass it out ahead of time and return it with comments but also discuss it.
• Be ready to give.  A critique group is different from a critique service.  If you only want feedback but don’t want to critique for others, find a freelance editor.  This attitude isn’t fair to the other writers.

I'm going to try updating Will Write For Chocolate more regularly in 2013; I have so much more material now. :-) You can also get updates via the Will Write For Chocolate FB Page, on Google+, and on Pinterest.

Nook Kindle PDF iTunes on the iPad, look for it in the iBook Store

When do you get feedback on a work-in-progress? Never, early, mid-project, as often as possible?

Types of Feedback and When to Get Them

Good early feedback

• Pat on back. Often what you need is just a pat on the back, someone saying, “Good job!” My local critique group does this by just asking people to share good news. You can do this by posting word counts on Facebook or simply telling friends that you’ve finished a full draft of a novel. Those who understand the importance of your writing in your life, will be excited and celebrate with you. And be sure to celebrate your small successes, because the large successes are often few and far between.
• Market evaluation. If your goal is publication, another type of early feedback that is helpful is to get an idea of how your story might fit into the marketplace. This can help you decide if you want to push it to the top of the project list, or bury it. Maybe you’re writing a biography of Hilary Clinton and three just came out. You need to know this because they are your competition; your book must be different and better than those, or it won’t sell.
  
  Sometimes, though, the market analysis and feedback may say you’re a fool for writing this particular story, that it will never sell. And you must say, too bad, it’s my story and I’ll tell it anyway. Even when your attitude is one of passionate commitment, it’s good to know the odds are against you. You’ll work harder, you’ll push yourself to excel beyond your wildest dreams. You’ll look for tiny ways to build the audience for this story, to make readers care more. In short, even a negative market analysis can be the impetus for an successful story. Go on: buck the trends and do your own thing and amaze us all. We’ll love you all the more for being the underdog who succeeds. Just know that’s what you’re doing up front.

Good ongoing feedback, get as often as you like or need

Reader Report. One valuable type of feedback is just a reader reporting on when s/he is engaged with the story, when it loses his/her interest, when s/he is confused, when s/he is bored. This might also include things like, “I didn’t like Phillip when he did that.” These type reader reactions can then be compared to your goals at that point in the story.

One way to ask for this type feedback is to ask trusted readers to pay attention to their mental state as they read the draft and mark the mss this way (Feel free to create your own variation):

• Big C in the margin: I am confused
• Big B in the margin: I am bored
• Big S in the margin: This story is too slow, speed up.
• Any comment jotted in the margin: Anything they want to fuss about.

It is often hard to train a reader to read this way, because everyone wants to solve the story’s problems for you, or they want to mark up every misspelled word. That’s not the type of feedback you’re going for here, though. Instead, you are looking for a reader’s reaction to the STORY itself. Explain to the reader that they are a reader you are Trusting with responsibility for the Story, that you can take care of grammar and such later, but here, you just want them to focus on Story. You just need a reader’s reaction.

Good feedback after first draft

When the first draft is done, now is the time for intensive feedback from other writers or editors. This is the first time you deal with technicalities of storytelling.

• Overall story structure. For many writers, the hardest thing is to see the forest for the trees. Overall story structure is hard because after 50,000 or 100,000 or 150,000 words, how do you step back and see the structure? You can monitor this yourself with a Shrunken Manuscript. Or you can find a critiquer who can see this story of thing.
• Overall feel for voice. Another important critique at this point is whether the storytelling voice is working. Does the voice pull the reader through the story in a compelling way? If not, there’s work to be done.
• Overall feel for character. Does your character come alive for the reader? You need a check on your characterization skills and notes about specific places where it works and where it doesn’t.
• Any other technical issue, for example, how to get in and out of a flashback. At this point, good critiquers will point out a myriad of things that need attention. It could be that the character’s names are off; maybe, you are bouncing around POVs; perhaps, the setting is bland or overblown. Now is the time to get feedback on anything else that occurs to a good critique.

Good feedback after second or any other draft

Ditto. Everything you need on the first draft, you need here.

Good feedback before you submit

• Ditto. Everything you need on the first draft, you need here.
• Copyediting. This is the ONLY time you need a critique to focus on copyediting. You, the writer, should be copyediting through out each draft, so there should be few things to catch here. But it’s good to have someone else go through it now and make sure you haven’t missed anything. Spelling and grammar do matter. Now is the time to take care of it.

Is there BAD feedback?

Yes. Here are a couple types of feedback to avoid.

• Avoid feedback that focuses on the reader’s vision for the story. Often a critique will focus on his/her opinion and not try to understand your vision for a story. Ignore them. This is your story, your idea, your passion—your book. You do NOT have to do what this critique says. Period. Get them out of your writing process and never let them back in.
• Avoid feedback that kills a project. I’ll admit it. I’ve had feedback on stories that meant I put the story away and never looked at it again. The critiquer’s feedback was, literally, deadly. They attacked the very idea itself and made it loathsome even to myself. Maybe they were right, maybe not. Either way, that story will never have a resurrection. Are you as sad about that as I am? I will never let that person critique another story for me. Never.

Value Good Critiquers

For those early readers who manage to be honest and yet encourage, hang onto them. Mention them in the acknowledgment of your novel; publicly thank them. Give them free copies of the published work.

Thanks, Dori, Sue, Kristen and Deborah. You’ve been faithful critiquers for me. I appreciate it.

And thanks, Stephen, for asking about how and when to get feedback.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Desert Baths

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends November 10, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

When you do a manuscript critique at a conference, you must be ready to push for an answer to a crucial question; and you must have a back-up plan.

I’ve been backstage at conferences, in the break room where the editors are gathering and chatting. I’ve heard them come back from a critique session and talk.

Editor: I told the writer that the story was great and the voice was great, but they just didn’t match up. This is a picture book, but the writing is like a YA novel. They just wanted to argue and tell me a long story about why they wrote the picture book. Why would they waste their time and my time that way?

Indeed. At a manuscript critique, you can expect to hear at least one good thing about your story. But then–you asked for an honest critique!–you will hear some things that are not-so-good, need-work, needs-rethinking, WILL-mean-a-total-revision. Duh. Editors are in the BUSINESS of telling writers how to revise. Do you think a critique will be any different? No.

So, when you go into a critique, expect a laundry list of things that need to be done. Do not take your ego into the critique with you. This cannot be an emotional breakdown. Take a notepad and take notes about what needs work? Ask critical questions that show you understand their opinion and would like to understand even deeper.

Close the Deal with a Crucial Question

After listening, politely ask, “If I make these revisions, would you like to see the manuscript again?” This is the REAL goal of your session, an invitation to submit this manuscript again.

If the editor responds yes, you’re done. Chat for a minute or so longer, if there’s time, but get out early if you can. You got what you wanted and needed.

What if the editor says, “No, this isn’t something I can publish.”

Back Up Plan–Pitch

Then–you pitch! A pitch to an agent is a brief distillation of your novel into a 30-second teaser. You’ll want to have pitches for 3-5 manuscripts ready to go. After listening to the editor’s presentations at the conference and talking with him/her about your mss, choose one or two of the manuscripts. And follow-up the previous question with a pitch about these stories.

And again, ask, “May I send you this manuscript (synopsis and sample chapters)?

The 10-15 minutes of private time with an editor or agent is a great opportunity to get feedback on your current story; but it’s also a great time to drum up interest in a different story. Don’t waste this precious time trying to justify some minor point in the critique. Listen, learn, sell.

I'm posting some of my older comics here as I catalog and tag them in prep for a print book compilation. You can find my comics for writers on Inkygirl (http://inkygirl.com), Tumblr (http://inkygirl.tumblr.com) and Pinterest (http://pinterest.com/inkyelbows/comics-for-writers-inkygirl-com)

Originally published in Writer Unboxed.

I'm posting some of my older comics here as I catalog and tag them in prep for a print book compilation. You can find my comics for writers on Inkygirl (http://inkygirl.com), Tumblr (http://inkygirl.tumblr.com) and Pinterest (http://pinterest.com/inkyelbows/comics-for-writers-inkygirl-com)

I'm posting some of my older comics here as I catalog and tag them in prep for a print book compilation. You can find my comics for writers on Inkygirl (http://inkygirl.com), Tumblr (http://inkygirl.tumblr.com) and Pinterest (http://pinterest.com/inkyelbows/comics-for-writers-inkygirl-com)

This past weekend, I attended a writer’s workshop where we had a first pages critique session. That’s when an author panel hears the first 200 to 300 words of a manuscript, and then gives feedback to attendees. Basically, what these published experts ask themselves is, “Would I keep reading after this first page?”

You don’t have to write for children to learn a lot from first page critiques. And you don’t have to write a novel, either. Because the point of a first page is always the same: you have to grab your reader right from the very beginning!

Two hundred and fifty words. That’s the average number of words in that first page. Geez, that’s not much. But that’s all that you, the writer, have to grab that editor or agent or publisher before he or she moves on to the next manuscript. So how do you make every word count?

Here are the top suggestions I heard during the critiques, and the discussion that followed:

“You don’t have to explain the whole plot on the first page, but you do have to give an idea of what the story is about.”

Don’t fill up your entire first page with lovely description of your setting. You can weave that lovely description into the plot (what the story is about). Whoever or whatever is mentioned in the first page should be important to your plot (what the story is about). Resist the temptation to throw in anything that doesn’t relate to…yeah, I think you know what’s coming: What the story is about. Which brings me to the next suggestion.

“The voice or the narrator captures the reader’s attention from the get-go. If we don’t know who the protagonist is, we won’t be interested enough to keep reading.”

Your voice must be strong right from the start! Your audience needs to care about what will happen next—and more importantly, who has something at stake in the story. Read a few of the first pages of your favorite novels, or short stories, memoirs or essays so you can see how the writer manages to invest the reader in the story, right from the very beginning.

That’s what you want in your first page. After that, the rest is easy. Well, easier.

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Holy Charlie Buckets, everyone! There were 90 entries in the picture book critique giveaway. What an enthusiastic response!

Random.org picked #57…and that means…

ROSE MARSH

…is the winner!

Rose, be on the lookout for an email from me.

Thanks to everyone who entered! I’ll be sure to host another critique giveaway soon, so be sure to subscribe if you haven’t already.

And now the consolation prize: a little chuckle. I think my daughter drew me so well for her Mother’s Day Gazette—a striking resemblance, don’tchathink? (OK, this is a terrible consolation prize. But since this blog is “Writing for Kids (While Raising Them)” I gotta stuff some kiddo stuff in every once in a while.)