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Hipsters have taken irony from us. They’ve co-opted it and mutated it into a sad little shell of what it once was. Just as they’ve done with The Golden Girls. Irony to the hipster is nothing more than creating a clash of symbols. Which is really just sarcasm, not irony. One only need examine these snippets of conversation I overheard at a recent Dirty Projectors concert:

“Check it out, I’m wearing a trucker hat. No, I don’t truck. Too many carbon emissions. I ride a bike. It’s ironic.”

“How about this knarly beard? Am I lumberjack? No. Clear-cutting is appalling to me. I work in IT, but I do own a Bonnie Prince Billy CD. Ironic, huh?”

“My T-shirt? Why yes that’s a BP logo. Why? Because I despise them. Irony at its best.”

It’s the T-shirts that get me the most. It’s rare to find a T-shirt that’s ironic by itself. This one succeeds. These do not. Yet if you search “ironic t-shirts” on Google, you’ll think that every t-shirt with a pun or a flippant quote is ironic. Alas, situations provide irony. Catchphrases do not.

Now, I’ll give hipsters some credit. They’re not necessarily buying the corporate produced T-shirts that are clearly aimed at them. They’re scouring garage sales and thrift shops and boxes in their parents’ attics looking for something unique. But there’s nothing ironic in a skinny, pasty hipster girl wearing a T-shirt that says 1993 First Team Bucks County Nose Tackle. It might get a few thumbs up at a Jonathan Lethem reading, but that’s the opposite of irony, because that was the intended effect. She wanted to impress like-minded people. The T-shirt would only be ironic if it produced the opposite of the desired effect, in some synchronistic way.

For instance, imagine the girl wore that T-shirt to a town hall meeting where the debate of the night involved tearing down an art gallery  to put in a football stadium. She may be trying to voice her indignation in the form of an absurd, illogical T-shirt. But what if the town board saw the shirt and said, “Well, we were going to turn down the stadium proposal, but obviously the town is full of football fans, most notably the skinny, pixie-haired girl, who once challenged the status-quo by succeeding in an arena traditionally ruled by obese black men. Football stadium approved!” Now that’s ironic.

The picture above shows a mugshot of a man wearing a “World’s Greatest Dad ” T-shirt. Skirts the edge of irony, but it ain’t quite it. Turns out the man was arrested for soliciting a 14-year-old online, certainly not the actions of the planet’s finest father. Ironic? I’m still not convinced. It’s disturbingly contrary, like a terrorist donning a peace sign, but it isn’t ironic. For his sake, part of me wants to imagine he is a dedicated hipster, and he wore this shirt, and committed this crime, so that I would blog about him and say he is the greatest ironic prankster of his generation. But I won’t do that. Because I believe in the integrity of irony. And I believe this guy is really just a pervert.

Isn’t it ironic that in the summer we complain about the heat, and in the winter we complain about the cold?

Isn’t it ironic that we say “Shut Up” when we want the noise level to go down?

Isn’t it ironic that we build cars that can go well over the speed limit then arrest drivers who do so?

Isn’t it ironic that we pray for kids, then when we have them we get somebody else to look after them?

Isn’t it ironic that that employers won’t hire people smarter than them, when really those are the people who would help their business the most?

Isn’t it ironic that minuscule, astronomical, and humongous are big words and big isn’t?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/itsgreg/2909252617/

Isn’t it ironic that when we are retired, and finally have time to do all the things we wanted to do earlier, our bodies no longer have the stamina to do them?

Isn’t it ironic that the more intelligent a person is, the less likely they are to have kids and thus are less likely to pass along their DNA?

Isn’t it ironic that when something is truly funny we actually start crying?

Isn’t it ironic that the foods we like the best are usually the ones that cost the most?

Isn’t it ironic that the people the boss likes the most are usually the ones that talk behind the bosses back in the worst ways?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rahul3/2245308067/

Isn’t it ironic how when you are waiting for a phone call it never rings, but as soon as you get up to go to the bathroom it does?

Isn’t it ironic that the more you tell somebody not to do something, the more likely they are to do it?

Isn’t it ironic that the best dreams you have at night are the ones you cannot remember, but the worse nightmares haunt you for days?

Isn’t it ironic that the horse who wins the race is always the one you were going to bet on, but didn’t?

Isn’t it ironic that gas prices always fall the day after you filled your tank, and go up just when you need gas most?

Isn’t it ironic that cats most want to sit on our laps when we are doing something, or are about to get up?

Isn’t it ironic that banks post large profits right before they increase service charges and lay off employees?

Isn’t it ironic that the cutest pups, the ones everyone wants, grow into the largest dogs that nobody wants?

Isn’t it ironic that we say “Do not judge people based on their appearances.” and then put so much time into looking after our own?

Isn’t it ironic that youth is wasted on the young?

Isn’t it ironic that greed is a sin, but churches ask for 10% of a persons income?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/xakaxunknownx/1524187217/

Isn’t it ironic that some people claim to drink to forget their problems, but then drinking becomes their biggest problem of all?

Isn’t it ironic when you see dead bugs on the front of a vehicle that has an “All life is precious” bumper sticker on the back?

Isn’t it ironic that the toilet paper roll always runs out when it’s your turn?

Isn’t it ironic that the one threat to continued human existence, as determined by the United Nations, is our own ability to over populate the planet?

Isn’t it ironic that the word “Irony” has nothing to do with iron, irons, and ironing and yet that is what all the pictures here are about?

Isn’t it ironic that in the summer we complain about the heat, and in the winter we complain about the cold?

Isn’t it ironic that we say “Shut Up” when we want the noise level to go down?

Isn’t it ironic that we build cars that can go well over the speed limit then arrest drivers who do so?

Isn’t it ironic that we pray for kids, then when we have them we get somebody else to look after them?

Isn’t it ironic that that employers won’t hire people smarter than them, when really those are the people who would help their business the most?

Isn’t it ironic that minuscule, astronomical, and humongous are big words and big isn’t?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/itsgreg/2909252617/

Isn’t it ironic that when we are retired, and finally have time to do all the things we wanted to do earlier, our bodies no longer have the stamina to do them?

Isn’t it ironic that the more intelligent a person is, the less likely they are to have kids and thus are less likely to pass along their DNA?

Isn’t it ironic that when something is truly funny we actually start crying?

Isn’t it ironic that the foods we like the best are usually the ones that cost the most?

Isn’t it ironic that the people the boss likes the most are usually the ones that talk behind the bosses back in the worst ways?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rahul3/2245308067/

Isn’t it ironic how when you are waiting for a phone call it never rings, but as soon as you get up to go to the bathroom it does?

Isn’t it ironic that the more you tell somebody not to do something, the more likely they are to do it?

Isn’t it ironic that the best dreams you have at night are the ones you cannot remember, but the worse nightmares haunt you for days?

Isn’t it ironic that the horse who wins the race is always the one you were going to bet on, but didn’t?

Isn’t it ironic that gas prices always fall the day after you filled your tank, and go up just when you need gas most?

Isn’t it ironic that cats most want to sit on our laps when we are doing something, or are about to get up?

Isn’t it ironic that banks post large profits right before they increase service charges and lay off employees?

Isn’t it ironic that the cutest pups, the ones everyone wants, grow into the largest dogs that nobody wants?

Isn’t it ironic that we say “Do not judge people based on their appearances.” and then put so much time into looking after our own?

Isn’t it ironic that youth is wasted on the young?

Isn’t it ironic that greed is a sin, but churches ask for 10% of a persons income?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/xakaxunknownx/1524187217/

Isn’t it ironic that some people claim to drink to forget their problems, but then drinking becomes their biggest problem of all?

Isn’t it ironic when you see dead bugs on the front of a vehicle that has an “All life is precious” bumper sticker on the back?

Isn’t it ironic that the toilet paper roll always runs out when it’s your turn?

Isn’t it ironic that the one threat to continued human existence, as determined by the United Nations, is our own ability to over populate the planet?

Isn’t it ironic that the word “Irony” has nothing to do with iron, irons, and ironing and yet that is what all the pictures here are about?

Did any one else find this bit in yesterday's Saipan Tribune ironic?

The governor said the Subcommittee and the people of the Commonwealth are entitled to know exactly how much Fiscal Year 2009 funding has been spent to prepare for the implementation of federalization, how much more will be expended in the remaining months of FY 2009, and whether DHS is depending in part on funding being sought for FY 2010, “buried somewhere in the Department's request for $55.1 billion.”

With this hell that is my cold (not just mine; everybody at the Horn Book is taking turns staying home sick, and over on Facebook Elizabeth said she felt like she was three dwarfs at once: Dopey, Sneezy and Grumpy) I'm sorry I haven't been here for a few days. I did have a bright moment on the subway this morning, where a man reading The Fountainhead gave up his seat to a lady. For those of you who never went through an Objectivist stage, this is kind of like spotting Ralph Nader test-driving a Hummer.

There is some argument about what qualifies as ironic, but all senses of irony revolve around the perceived notion of an incongruity between what is said and what is meant; or between an understanding of reality, or an expectation of a reality, and what actually happens. --Wickipedia

In reading Jill Lepore's New Yorker account of the battle between E. B. White and Anne Carroll Moore, I couldn't help finding my sympathies more with the old lady. Lepore seems to favor E. B. and Katharine White because they're more sophisticated, the cool kids. Moore's the earnest, humorless battle-axe, given to such pronouncements as "reading is an end in itself; its object is lifelong pleasure and profit," "reading should be more commonly treated as a sport of continuous interest in all schools," and "both literature and children stoutly resist grade limitation." What a bore.

Of course she had her limitations and of course she went down fighting, but children's literature and librarianship owe her plenty.

Woman to man this evening, overheard as I'm jogging by: "Your English skills are deplorable."

. . . to make fun of a satirist but by gum these geniuses have done it.

A Fantastic post on the US economy and how it relates to Bookshops by Tom over at Pazzo Books. If you’re in the Boston area (Roslindale to be more specific) you should check out his shop.

*********************
How ‘Bout that Economy?

I was reading some talk recently - I think on the ABE forum - about the
used book business being recession proof. Why wouldn’t people strapped
for cash stop buying new books and spend their suddenly scarce cash on the
lovely used and inexpensive variety? I even once harbored the dream that
the used book business was counter cyclical - not only recession proof,
but actually better in a down economy. Sadly, the truth is that actual
recession proof businesses are hard to find - drugs, liquor, prostitution,
pornography, that might be about it. However, because the used book
business is composed of a number of different elements, it does have its
own cyclicality to it, so there is no need to hide in fear of the,
apparently, coming recession (unless, of course, as the talking heads on
Fox have been bloviating about for weeks, this is the beginning of a
prolonged depression brought on by terrorists, hordes of Mexicans, tax and
spend Democrats, and the ghost of FDR).

Recessions are normal phases of the business cycle - people freak out
about them, but they just happen from time to time. The economy gets
strong, companies manufacture great stuff to buy, people buy it until they
decide they have enough stuff, the companies don’t stop manufacturing in
time - too much stuff; recession. That’s the executive summary anyway and
more or less what I learned in Econ 101 (where I got a C+, so don’t go
second guessing). Governmental policy can make recessions worse or
better, more or less frequent, but they can’t make them disappear.

The good news is that, while in most lines of business both supply and
demand tend to be elastic, in the book business supply is relatively inelastic (if the price of books
drops 50%, supply remains relatively unchanged instead of decreasing as
demand increases.) This makes a recession a nice time to buy books.
There is also a tendency for people to sell books when they need some
extra cash which is often the opposite of when it would be a good time to
sell books from a market point of view. This can seem a little
Machiavellian, but paying more than you need to for books is un-American.
Un-Canadian too. We always offer a fair price for books, obviously, but
fair changes with the market.

Here are a few other ideas for the down economy:

If you’re in Canada, why not schedule a scenic drive down to the U.S. and
pick up some books. Take advantage of the weak dollar, the weak economy,
and write the whole thing off as a business expense. If you’re in the
East, why not swing down for a fun event like the Boston Antiquarian Book and
Ephemera Fair - (in the interests of full disclosure, we might be
there). This is a great opportunity to pick up some books at a discount
for Canadian sellers - the dollar hasn’t been this weak since Jimmy Carter
spotted a UFO over Leary, GA (this is true - the Canadian dollar
peaked to around current levels in the 1973-1976 area. Jimmy filed his
UFO report in 1973.).

We’ve noticed that the lagging housing market has put a real damper on the
cleaning out of houses business. Three years ago we were up to our elbows
in people moving and getting rid of their book collections. There days a
call is cause for celebration. This is another example of the book
business being complicated and presenting unforeseen difficulties
(unforeseen by us anyway, I’m sure cleverer book sellers saw this a mile
ahead down the road). As a result, we have to go a bit further for books
- especially if we’re going to take advantage of the softening economy.
Ebay is good, in person auctions (especially the kind that aren’t on the
Live Auctions at Ebay) are much better.

Make sure you have some good stock if Bush passes his tax rebate scheme
(which I find a bit irresponsible personally, but am willing to suck it up
and profit from it professionally). Tax rebates are like found money to
most people, and book collectors spend found money on books.

If you rent a space for your books (be it a store or an online business -
even if you’re at home and outgrowing your house and spouse’s good
graces), look into buying a space. Prices should fall for commercial
spaces as the economy slows, and you might be glad you sucked it up in a
couple years when prices rebound (this will depend on your area -
different parts of the country are in vastly different stages of popping
the real estate bubble).

Continue to sell into those foreign markets. We’ve sold tons of books to
Europe and Canada since the dollar tanked. A weak dollar is great for
exporters - we used to complain incessantly about Japan artificially
keeping the Yen low, now we complain about a weak dollar. Might as well
enjoy it. We’ve had great luck with French and German books - mostly
general stock in the 15-60 dollar range.

Finally, relax. Find a hobby, explore side items to sell, schedule buying
trips to nice places and go fishing.

Pazzo Books
4268 Washington St.
Roslindale, MA 02131
pazzobooks.com
617-323-2919

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One last --easy-- post on the Saipan Casino Act initiative.

EDIT: I haven't found the Saipan Casino Initiative on-line and can't link to it. But if you want a copy, let me know. I'm willing to make a few copies and pass them along.

ON REGULATING CASINOS
At the debate, I complained that there was nothing in the bill that provided for INDEPENDENT regulators. Paduna said I was wrong (well, he SHOUTED that I was wrong, wrong, wrong). See if you can find any of these things:

1. a requirement that the commissioners NOT have any interest in the license-holder, casino operators or other gambling/casino interests.

2. a requirement that the commissioners NOT come directly from employment at the casinos.

3. a requirement that the commissioners NOT be able to go directly from their job as commissioners into the casino industry.

4. a requirement that the commissioners NOT have close family members with an interest in the license-holder, casino operators or other gambling/casino intersts.

5. a requirement that the commissioners NOT have close family members working in the
casino industry.


You won't. The SCA would invite the casino industry into Saipan WITHOUT INDEPENDENT REGULATION. And without independent regulation, the casino industry will be more likely to be corrupt, have illegal and unethical practices, and fail to pay over the benefits we're supposed to reap.


ON THE SCA'S MONOPOLY
At the debate, the pro side insisted the Saipan Casino Act does not create a monopoly. They did this in two ways--1) saying because all indigenous could buy a share in the license-holder, there was no monopoloy; and 2) saying the indigenous compnay was only a "regulatory" monopoly.

1. See if you can find anyplace in the the SCA that permits a second company of all indigenous people to hold a separate license and operate casinos in competition to the first license-holder's casinos.

2. See if you can find anyplace in the SCA that says the indigenous company that will hold the license will be for regulation only and not for profit.

The SCA will grant THE EXCLUSIVE, and perpetual, PRIVILEGE by law to one and only one investment company for the license to operate casinos in Saipan. The company will be a business operating FOR PROFIT. This is a monopoly.

Monopolies do not have the usual market forces to help keep them in line. So not only will there be no independent regulation of the casino industry in Saipan, there will not even be market forces operating to make sure the casinos stay above-board.


AN END TO THE POKER ARCADES
There seems to be a growing notion that the appearance of casinos in Saipan would end the proliferation and prominence of poker arcades in our community. I'm not really sure how this is supposed to happen. (It was repeated over and over that casinos would be well-lit and our local people wouldn't go in there. I'm not sure the reasoning behind that analysis, either, but it would be inconsistent with the idea that demand for the poker-machines would be diverted to the casinos.) The closure of poker arcades hasn't happened in Tinian.

1. Find someplace in the SCA that changes our poker-machine laws.


AND UNTOLD RICHES FOR ALL
One of the lures of the casino industry is the promise of wealth. But the casino industry does not create wealth--it doesn't take some natural resource and make it into a valuable product. It just packages gambling as fun and redistributes existing wealth. For the casino industry to "generate" income, people have to lose. The entire casino industry is premised on this simple fact. The machines and tables and games are all set up so that there are consistently more losers than winners.

One of the myths of the casino promise is that wealthy people play at the casinos and lose income they can afford to do without. This myth isn't entire false, which is why it is so attractive. There are wealthy people who play games at casinos and lose big money.

Will those wealthy people choose to gamble at casinos on Saipan or Tinian, rather than Macau or Singapore? I mean, really, if you were wealthy, where would you choose? I love Saipan and all of the CNMI, and I love it the way it is. I can't see casinos and neon-light as an improvement. And I can't see us ever getting to the point of being legitimately competitive with Macau and Singapore for those wealthy gamblers.

And then there are the others, not so wealthy gamblers, losing money at casinos that they can't afford. These might be tourists or residents. They might be our soldiers and sailors stationed on Guam. Casino income is a reverse or regressive tax--taking money from those most desperate to try their luck.

And while casino owners and operators usually make profits (with the notable exception of the Tinian Dynasty), people in the community don't necessarily see an improved lifestyle. This is reflected in the increase in bankruptcies in communities with casinos. This is reflected in the fact that Las Vegas has the highest rate of home mortgage foreclosures in the country right now, and a depressed housing market.

Just be sure you realize there's NO GUARANTEE in the Saipan Casino Act.


A BETTER WAY
Proponents of the SCA hype casinos as "the only alternative" that Saipan has to get out of the economic slump. This is a lie. Other communities in the past--going back for centuries--have had times where they faced economic hardship. They didn't have to turn to casinos to recover. We don't either.

And just because other communities have chosen to have casinos is no reason for us to do the same. We aren't lemmings. We have a unique culture and beauty that we can develop.

We should work on building the community, rather than just building the economy. The community encompasses economic aspects, but it looks at the larger picture and works from there. I agree with Tina Sablan that we need honest government and an investment in our people and culture as a basis for promoting our fledgling economy. We should stop looking for the one-trick pony to ride (like the garment industry, EDIT-a certain kind of tourist-EDIT, casinos) and start promoting initiatives by our resident population for small and medium-sized enterprises that will build a solid base for happy community life.

Here's an interesting article from the Washington Post. "Maxxed-Out Man" Scurlock Right on the Money

It tells about the looming crisis in the credit industry, and for all Americans, and touts a movie that aired in March 2007 (now available on DVD) where Scurlock predicted problems that are now starting to be seen.

The last paragraph on page 3, though, is especially interesting to those of us in the CNMI. This movie mogul has a "next" project--on Larry Lee Hillblom, his death, and the paternity suit/probate fall-out. Now that's going to be an interesting movie!


(Thanks to Dan MacMeekin for the heads-up.)

Has anyone else noticed how empty Saipan is feeling? The roads are much less crowded than just a few months ago. Stores and restaurants are empty. It feels like half of the people have left. Although I understand the schools are still over-crowded, I've heard from at least one person that enrollment is down in some of them, too.

I know families who have left, families who have sent their kids to the U.S., and more who are talking about leaving.

The reality of the out-migration is staggering.

Rebecca OUP-US

Today we are thrilled to have an original piece from Paul Collier the author of The Bottom Billion: Why the Poorest Countries Are Failing and What Can Be Done About It. Below, Collier a Professor of Economics and Director of the Center for the Study of African Economies at Oxford University, argues that the G8 did not go far enough in its efforts to assist Africa.

Since the 1960s around a billion citizens of the world have been diverging from the rest of us at an accelerating rate, a trend which will generate unmanageable social pressures. Most of these countries are in Africa, and so it is appropriate that the region should again have been on the G8 agenda during the recent summit in Germany. (more…)

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Here's what they're hearing about us in D.C.

TestimonyFromGAO The written report is from Jeannette Franzel, Director of Financial Management at the GAO. The testimony is given to the Subcommittee on Insular Affairs (Natural Resources Committee) in the House of Representatives.

I haven't read this in detail yet. But I completely believe the assessment that we have repeatedly failed to achieve responsible financial accountability.

And it is this lack of competence that adds to my strong opposition to casinos and gambling in the CNMI. We couldn't handle the watchdog responsibilities. Same for nuclear power plants here. We can't manage clean audit reports about our taxes, our capital assets, our utilities.

Before we take on bigger challenges, we need to learn the basics.

Thanks again to Dan MacMeekin for passing news on the hill about the CNMI to me.