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Do you know what happens when you say yes?

You wake up scared the next day. I know this is silly. Everything is great. All will be fine. Except that I have a zit on the side of my nose.

Isn't that the way it goes? There is no good-beyond-belief news without a little freak-out fear mixed in.

What am I afraid of? Oh, I don't know. Maybe the possibility that I will suddenly discover that I have forgotten how to sentence a put together. (See? It's happening!!!)

I also know (because I've been there myself) that there is no hearing about another person's good fortune without a tinge of "But what about me?" This is especially true when you are working as hard and as truly as your heart will stand, and you still haven't gotten to where you want to go. Yet.

So, the Zit on My Nose would like to say to you (and me):

Don't lie to yourself. You do want it. And I promise you that when you do get it, you will want more. When you get that, you will be scared. Deal with it. Deal with it however you need to, but do not wimp out and lie to yourself. About wanting it or being scared. Because the Zit always knows.

It is possible to write with a talking zit on the side of your nose, isn't it?

Isn't it???

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To celebrate the holidays we asked some of our favorite people in publishing what their favorite book was. Let us know in the comments what your favorite book is and be sure to check back throughout the week for more “favorites”.

Andrew DeSio is the Director of Publicity at Princeton University Press.

If I had to pick a favorite book I’d go with Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Raoul Duke’s romp, along with his trusty attorney Dr. Gonzo, through the desert in search of that unattainable state of euphoria, all the while experiencing American culture at its best and worst, is as pertinent now as it was in 1972.

Thompson is known for his heroic drug binges but his choppy yet flowing prose is often overlooked by his dirty deeds. The fact that he can remember so vividly his exploits in the book while being under the influence is testament to his great mind. He’s one of America’s eminent satirists and humorists, and will be sorely missed.

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This post is for my friend Melodye, newport2newport  who is working on a really tough writing project right now. In a recent post she discussed how hard it was for her to write about some of the really difficult situations she has to address in the book, going back to less pleasant times in her own past in order to mine the truth and tell the story only she can tell. She wrote of waking up shaking and in tears after getting down the words that ripped at her heart for a second time. She mentioned the need to lean on friends and family members for support and wondered, "Is it fair to ask them to stand here in the fire with me?"

And I say yes, it is more than fair. Those who love us want to help us heal, they want to help us in any way they can and sometimes the best thing they can do is create a safe place from which we can create.

I have many projects like this, stories that will require me to go deep and think about things I'd rather not think about. I wrote a bit about it a few years ago in this post called, Does your writing scare you? I had to put Frankie's project aside because, well, it still scares me too much. I've been in the process of moving posts from my first blog and this seemed like a good time to move this one over.

an old book by Pat Schneider which she has revised is now available as Writing Alone and With Others

I tend to reread this whenever I'm about to start on a new project because Schneider knows what writers are afraid of and says it's okay and encourages us to write anyone. She gave me my current mantra.

"You can write as powerfully as you talk. If you are safe enough."

I love that. It rings quite true for me. For years my writing was okay but not really going places and I know it was because I wasn't digging deep enough to write about the stuff that scares me. I couldn't because I didn't feel safe. It's only now, in a wonderful marriage with the best supportive partner I could hope for that I feel safe enough to visit the dark corners of my mind and write what is real, what hurts. Schneider says that if you can talk, any sense you have of not being able to write is a learned disability, scar tissue that "is a result of accumulated unhelpful responses to your writing."

She also says that, "For the writer, fear arises in exact proportion to the treasure that lies beneath the dragon's feet."

So we need to write toward that fear, past, through, over, kicking and screaming if need be but we need to face the fear, claim it, make it ours so it will reveal the treasure that is our writing, the stories we were meant to tell.

The last novel I finished was my most real yet. The raw kind of real that still makes my stomach lurch when I reread certain scenes and still makes me cry at the end. Now I'm gearing up to do it again. I'm glad I feel safe enough to try and write my truth.
For all of you that have painful stories to tell, stories you haven't even considered trying to tell (yet), take a look around the support system you have built for yourself. Find your safe zone. Make a list of all the things or people you need around you in order to feel safe. Maybe you're not there yet and that's okay. You should still make a list of what you need in order to feel safe so you will recognize it when you have it.

In case you didn't get it the first time, I'm going to repeat it. "You can write as powerfully as you talk. If you are safe enough." And once you are safe enough, (note that I did not say that you will feel safe enough because we will never feel safe enough to tell some stories but we will do it anyway) once you have a safe zone, there's only one thing left to do, dance closer to the fire and start to write.

We'll all be here cheering you on.

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So, yeah, it's Yom Kippur. And as of last night, I was post-synagogue, feeling virtuous and contemplative.

Alas, by now, I'm mostly just grouchy, hungry, and hazy. Probably not what God had in mind, but what can you do?

In other news, I've finally joined the huddled masses of facebook. Come friend me!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=598268928

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This morning we introduced you to the Treatments That Work series. Each workbook for patients is paired with a Therapist’s Guide which your doctor will use to work with you throughout your treatment. To give you an idea of what your therapist is reading here is an excerpt from the Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic Therapist Guide about patients that have problems with the breathing exercise we learned this morning.

(more…)

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Everyone has anxiety, it is a normal response to stressful situations, and in moderation it helps us perform better. But when anxiety begins to rule your life, to keep you from the people you love and the things you enjoy doing, you have to seek help. The Treatments That Work series explains the most effective interventions for a particular problem in user-friendly language. In Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic users learn concrete strategies and techniques to deal with their fear. Below is an excerpt that explains a breathing exercise that will help you face fear calmly. Remember though that this an excerpt from a complete program that is only proven to work when practiced from beginning to end with a physician’s help.

Step One
The first step is to concentrate on taking breaths right down to your stomach (or, more accurately, to your diaphragm muscles). (more…)

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One of the often-repeated pieces of advice for writers is to incorporate your greatest fear into your writing. Make your main character suffer and face the demons that scare you the most.

Like this bit from Simon Wood at Murderati :

Fear makes for great storytelling. It’s a fossil fuel with an
inexhaustible supply. It drives stories. It forces the reader, the
writer and the characters to face what frightens them full on. Stories
thrive on conflict and facing your fears is the greatest conflict. No one
is fearless, so everyone can relate.The best scary writing explores our
archetypal “core” fears.

So this is a great place to start plumbing for script ideas. If you need help figuring out your fears, there's a great list of possibilities here or here .


Go check them out. It's amazing just how long the list is.

While fears help create tension, drama and conflict, there are some that might be better used for humor (not that fears are a laughing matter, but, hey-they could be!)

Anablephobia-the fear of looking up (MUST keep eyes averted at all times-uh, huh!)
Anthrophobia-the fear of flowers (What a good excuse to skip sending that Mother's Day bouquet!)


and that triumverate of evil:
Leukophobia, melanophobia and porphyrophobia--fear of colors white, black and purple respectively (you can keep looking and find fear of yellow, too)

One must not get confused by the various spellings-or you might find genophobia (fear of sex) when you REALLY wanted geniophobia (fear of chins-hahahah!)

Some of the lesser known are totally familiar in content, if not verbiage-like nostophobia. That's the fear of returning home. I think that must be a specialty for teens who are out past curfew, or the student with an F on a test, or perhaps the spouse who's had a tad too much to drink or forgot some important event, or just any of us feeling a bit guilty about something...

But my TOTALLY MOST FAVORITE of all is consecotaleophobia--just try to say that. It rolls around the mouth and sounds most foreign of all. I'm sure that knowing it will come in handy, too. It's the fear of chopsticks. :-)

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Here's a sketchbook drawing of an emotional monster I did. I'll add a monster specifically in the closet as well later.


Tim

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