Rescue Press invites entries for the Black Box Poetry Prize, a contest for full-length collections of poetry. Open to poets at any stage in their writing careers. Judge: Douglas Kearney. No reading fee; however donations are appreciated and go toward publishing the winning manuscript(s). Authors who donate $15 or more receive a Rescue Press book of their choice. Deadline: June 30, 2016.
Twitter: @rescuepress.co
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
By: Darcy Pattison,
on 2/25/2013
You type, “The End.”
Then, you write a fast letter to an editor and send off a couple sample chapters.
Oops!
You forgot one thing. That manuscript needs to cool off before you send it out.
It is the single, hardest thing for me to do. I do not want to wait and besides that, I KNOW the revisions I just did are fantastic and the editor will be dying to read it. Yes? No.
Sadly, I send out material before it is ready. When I wait and read something even a week later, I find so many more things to revise.
Repeated words. Subconsciously, I fall in love with this word or that and it repeated endlessly. I don’t notice this unless the mss has rested a while and then, the words stick out like pimples. My goal is to cut that repetition to a single instance. After all, a single pimple isn’t bad, it’s the allover pimple face that’s bad. Two words I constantly overuse are bit and whirl: She whirled around a bit before settling down. Not bad, until she whirls 13.5 times per chapter.
Spelling and Grammar. OK, all you grammar witches. I know you are out there, because you email me all the time. My blog posts tend to be more off the cuff and I pay for it in humiliation every time a Grammar Witch reports in. (NOTE: I LOVE you, Grammar Witch. I am yours to command. I just WISH I had your eye for detail.) My remedial Grammar Witch glasses only work well when a mss has cooled off a while. Then, things pop out at me.
Darcy, sporting slightly askew Grammar Witch Glasses.
Vague, Unsettled Dissatisfaction. It’s hard to say exactly what this is, because it varies with each manuscript. Just–something is wrong. Off. I can usually pinpoint what that is and fix it. But when I can’t do that immediately, I start analysis, such as the Shrunken Manuscript or using other tools from Novel Metamorphosis. Because I must find and fix whatever it is. Usually–there’s something and it’s not a minor something. I just can’t see it right away.
What about you? Do you let a manuscript cool off?
By: Darcy Pattison,
on 12/7/2012
 |
Finding the Sweet
Write what you want to write,
say the editors.
Write what you love,
say the editors.
I write.
I love this!
Well, say the editors, it lacks a plot.
OK.
I write what I love and
make sure it has a plot.
A good ‘un.
(Hey, I’ve studied Hunger Games,
and the Edgar winning mysteries;
I know a good plot
when I read it.)
I love this!
Well, say the editors, the voice doesn’t grab me.
OK. I write what I love and
make sure it has a plot and
make sure the voice is unique, compelling.
A good ‘un.
(Hey, I’ve studied the Newberys,
the Caldecotts, the Alexes,
the Sieberts,
the Edgars, and so on.
I know voice when I hear it;
and I know how to create it.)
I love this!
Well, say the editors, the plot
is great;
the voice
is great;
but I don’t really connect with the characters enough.
OK. I write what I love and
make sure it has a plot and
make sure the voice is unique and
make sure that the characters are connectable.
A really good ‘un.
(Hey, by now, I’ve read all the New York Time’s
Bestsellers, the National Book Award winners,
plus any other @#$#$@ novel
that anyone ever recommends.
I know a good book when I read it–
or write it.)
Hey, I really love this!
Well, says the editor, you got everything right:
plot, characters, voice–
but it’s too quiet.
Where, oh where is that sweet spot?
And how can I write something else
that I love,
knowing that
no one else will love it?
Where is that sweet editor?
A Sweet Spot.
By: Darcy Pattison,
on 10/8/2012
Giveaway ends November 10, 2012.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
When you do a manuscript critique at a conference, you must be ready to push for an answer to a crucial question; and you must have a back-up plan.
I’ve been backstage at conferences, in the break room where the editors are gathering and chatting. I’ve heard them come back from a critique session and talk.
Editor: I told the writer that the story was great and the voice was great, but they just didn’t match up. This is a picture book, but the writing is like a YA novel. They just wanted to argue and tell me a long story about why they wrote the picture book. Why would they waste their time and my time that way?
Indeed. At a manuscript critique, you can expect to hear at least one good thing about your story. But then–you asked for an honest critique!–you will hear some things that are not-so-good, need-work, needs-rethinking, WILL-mean-a-total-revision. Duh. Editors are in the BUSINESS of telling writers how to revise. Do you think a critique will be any different? No.
So, when you go into a critique, expect a laundry list of things that need to be done. Do not take your ego into the critique with you. This cannot be an emotional breakdown. Take a notepad and take notes about what needs work? Ask critical questions that show you understand their opinion and would like to understand even deeper.
After listening, politely ask, “If I make these revisions, would you like to see the manuscript again?” This is the REAL goal of your session, an invitation to submit this manuscript again.
If the editor responds yes, you’re done. Chat for a minute or so longer, if there’s time, but get out early if you can. You got what you wanted and needed.
What if the editor says, “No, this isn’t something I can publish.”
Then–you pitch! A pitch to an agent is a brief distillation of your novel into a 30-second teaser. You’ll want to have pitches for 3-5 manuscripts ready to go. After listening to the editor’s presentations at the conference and talking with him/her about your mss, choose one or two of the manuscripts. And follow-up the previous question with a pitch about these stories.
And again, ask, “May I send you this manuscript (synopsis and sample chapters)?
The 10-15 minutes of private time with an editor or agent is a great opportunity to get feedback on your current story; but it’s also a great time to drum up interest in a different story. Don’t waste this precious time trying to justify some minor point in the critique. Listen, learn, sell.
By: Darcy Pattison,
on 10/1/2012
Giveaway ends November 10, 2012.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
I have recently turned in two project and in this slow business, it is time to “Hurry Up and Wait.” I don’t do this well. We’ve already taken vacations for the year. So, I’ve made a to-do list.
Promote. You know me as a writing teacher; but I can only teach because I also write. And I am in the depths of promotion for my new book, DESERT BATHS. Wow, there’s lots of things to do. I have promo copies to give away and people to talk with.
Guest Expert: Jonathan Scott
We work all the time with authors and publishers, turning their new or existing books into eBook formats, but so far I’ve yet to receive a manuscript that’s been correctly prepared for the process.
When I say that, many prospective eBook authors or publishers cringe, thinking I’m going to ask them to do something esoteric and difficult. And after all, they say, isn’t that what they’re paying me for?
But the truth is, no matter how you choose to get your book into eBook formats—hire someone, use an online publishing service, or do it yourself–there are some simple things you can learn and put into practice that will make the process easier, less expensive, and have better results.
The first thing to learn is something that, again, many authors shudder to hear: that’s the fact that, as far as the software is concerned, an eBook is really the red-haired stepson of a web page. (With all due respect to red-haired people and stepsons everywhere.) To really get inside and tinker with the inner workings of an eBook, you really need to know a little about the HTML code that is used in web pages.
But that doesn’t mean that an author who may know nothing of web page code, or care even less, has to learn anything other than a few tips, a very basic understanding of how code works, and a couple of ways to prepare a manuscript. It’s really not much harder than following a publisher’s guidelines.
Let’s start with the tips. These might be easiest simply to list.
Don’t use tabs. If your manuscript has a tab in it, it will vanish like dew in the desert. (The tab, not your manuscript, that is.)
Don’t use a blank carriage return to separate text. By that I mean hitting your Enter or Return key twice to separate two paragraphs. A blank line will disappear equally as fast as a tab when the text is converted to an eBook. Your beautifully separated paragraphs will run together.
Don’t count on fonts to tell your story. True, the Kindle Fire and the iPad can now support many different fonts, but the older devices can’t. Plus it’s a very tricky issue because some fonts are copyrighted by their creators and, even though you can use them beautifully in a Word document, it’s a big no-no to include them in an eBook. Best, for the time being, to stick with the standard fonts like Times and Arial. Anyway, the standard Kindle will display your book in the font it wants to, regardless.
Don’t rely on your word processor’s automatic bulleting and numbering feature. It’s a great way to save you from typing 1, 2, 3, etc., but most eBooks will refuse to recognize it. Instead, bite the bullet and type numbers in manually.
Now for that basic understanding of how the eBook code works. Instead of having to explain over and over again to the eBook reading device how a particular line of text should look to a reader, the code uses a type of shortcut. So, instead of having the hidden code have to say all this:
“Okay, for the next paragraph, display it in Times, Roman, 12 point, with a .25 inch indent on the first line and a line separation of 18 points and a space-and-a-half extra space after the paragraph, and, oh, by the way, make the whole thing display in blue”
The hidden code might look like this:
<body
By: Karen Cioffi,
on 4/4/2012
By: Claudette Young,
on 3/17/2012
What do dieting and writing have in common? They often travel together—and should. In writing, to diet means to determine what words, phrases, and extraneous content need to go. They represent the unwanted pounds that weigh down a manuscript.
Revision gives the writer an opportunity to go through her copy to tighten her sentences and rephrase passages for the most effective copy possible. According to best-selling author Roy Peter Clark, “…The concrete noun lets us see and the action verb helps us move. Experts on writing have always preferred strong nouns and verbs.”
For several years, writers have been urged to “trim the fat” of extraneous adverbs and adjectives. We’re encouraged to use lean, mean story construction for readers’ pleasure, while holding and expanding that pleasure with the ebb and flow of concrete detail and curiosity-generating abstract thought.
Purpose-driven writing takes time to conceive and deliver. Those in the writing business today have many recommendations for writers about their content. For instance, web content has specific parameters for the writer; length should run within 250-500 words, snappy headline titles grab a reader’s interest; copy should have plenty of pertinent links to other sites for more information.
When you stop to consider that readers of web content are, in general, looking for particular subjects, research material, etc., the standards derived are necessary and make sense. Keywords used within the copy help snag attention from search engines, while the organization of the copy finishes drawing in those engines.
Novels and magazines don’t have search engines, but searches are made. Readers talk to each other. The discoveries of one become shared knowledge and generate recommendations to other readers. Therefore, the same logic applies to novels.
Interest and reader staying-power is forfeited, if detailed descriptions bog down the reader’s quest to move with the story line. With non-fiction, writing rules for fiction can prevent an article from boring the reader to death. Poetry, too, uses some of fiction’s rules to keep the reader motivated and moving forward to the end.
The diet begins when the first draft is complete. Experienced writers know that by the time the first revision is finished, their stories have passed one hurdle of the editing process. Entire swathes of descriptive narrative lay on the editing floor. Subtext paths that went nowhere are removed. Most of all, the concrete feel of the piece has come to the foreground.
Parts and pieces of story line, description, character backstory, etc. have bitten the bullet, dying as they lived; in that brief twilight second from the writer’s hand.
With the second revision, more noun changes with precise action verbs bring paragraphs to attention. The few remaining adjectives are trade
Now that it's Spring, new growth is popping up all over the place. I'm tempted to linger outside and enjoy the weather. All right, I confess, I did give in for a while. I sat on the patio and read from my kindle, with Rascal nearby basking in the late afternoon sun.
It's so very tempting to play hooky from writing and continue to enjoy the weather, with all the new growth around me.
.jpeg?picon=3479)
By: Michael Young,
on 1/26/2011
.jpeg?picon=3225)
By: Andi Brown,
on 12/3/2010
Two agents have weighed in on my book. Agent #1, on whose critique of the first 75 pages I bid at a charity auction, said, This delivers. You have quirky characters, and people up to no good. I love the humor in the book; you’re very funny.
Here's the but. When I asked if she'd be interested in representing it, she said it wasn't her kind of book; she tends more towards family dramas. But - she did ask me to send her the rest of the manuscript, which she looked forward to reading.
And in even better news....I asked the agent who'd requested the full manuscript a few months ago for a status report. And she said,
We have been considering your manuscript, which we think is very good, but needs some revisions before we'd be able to take it on. We thought that ANIMAL CRACKER was very funny, well-paced, and irreverent. The heroine is brash and relatable, which makes what could be conventional chick lit feel fresh and engaging. We did think, though, that the second half of the book could use some work...the resolution, even for such a lighthearted work, came too easily. We'd love to see a revision that addresses these ideas.
I shall revise away.
Wow, you guys were on fire tonight! I’ll follow up on the great suggestion about starting an Editing Hotline for ScribeChat members when I’ve had a chance to work out the logistics. My hands are getting rather full, so I’ll need your collaboration, but I think it’s a wonderful idea! In the meantime, here’s the transcript, [...] Related posts:
By: Andi Brown,
on 5/1/2010
I should call this The Lazy Blogger. Or maybe the blogger-without-anything-to-say.
The truth is I'm putting most of my creative energies into, what else, the rewrite. After doubts of self and book doctor, I'm cutting, pasting, and creating new scenes (one quite brilliant one suggested by book m.d.) and guess what! It's getting better all the time.
I should be finished in a couple of weeks. Amy, book doctor, is in Russia at the moment, and had told me she could review the rewrite in either early June or September. Guess which is my favorite month.
I am considering sending it out to one particular agent I've been eyeing even ifAmy hasn't read it. Have I mentioned that I'm impatient, impetuous, impolitic and, yeah, immature? This agent says on his website that he has a soft spot for stories featuring animals. And the name of my book is...Animal Cracker! Yes, little critters figure prominently.
He will receive my query and sample pages. He will say, "Damn, she's good." He will email me immediately to request the full manuscript. He will call me a week later and ask me to come to New York to review our contract. He tells me he will begin submitting it to publishers immediately. He will contact me the following week with a two-word email: Bidding War! He will call me back with a $ number that will clear all my debts and then some. He will tell me that negotiations have begun on movie rights.
All of this will occur before August 1.
2010.
Now you know why I don't sleep very well.
By: Karen Cioffi,
on 11/21/2009
8 Essential Steps Before Submitting Your Manuscript
By: Darcy Pattison,
on 4/22/2009
Yesterday, I started brainstorming on revisions for a picture book. I got some editorial feedback in February when I saw the editor in NYC. But it’s been hard to approach this revision because when we talked, I disagreed with much of what the editor said.
So, I put it aside for a while and when I went back with a more objective look, I could at least understand the editor’s position. That’s a good starting place. So, I opened the file, made a minor change and then saved it with a new title, “MssForThisEditor.” This way, I keep the original story intact and label this version as revised just to address one editor’s concerns.
Then, I attempted to throw away all my preconceived notions of what this story was and where it could and should go. I started jotting ideas, objections, words, imagery, rants against the suggested changes, rants against the rants, and generally preparing myself mentally to revise. I allowed a couple hours for this, then moved to a different task.
This morning, My Subconscious told me that it had been working on the problem overnight and had some ideas. Well. That was a surprise.
Good. My Conscious still likes the original better, but I’ll let ol’ Sub work a while today and see what happens.
Post from: Revision Notes Revise Your Novel! Copyright 2009. Darcy Pattison. All Rights Reserved.
Related posts:
By: Catherine J Gardner,
on 4/6/2009
Not much to report... Spending my time making various decisions about 'The Poisoned Apple' involving length and what to include from the now defunct second book and what not to include (Larry is pleased to discover he's no longer going to be singing and dancing his way through Corpsetithe and the Wolf Dude is happy that his namesake, Wolfram Lavoisier, hasn't been shredded). Most of the original second book will end up as waste paper as the series is going in a different direction to originally planned - assuming it ever becomes a series that is.
Observation: One good thing about concentrating on longer works, you don't wake up every morning begging your inbox for a short story acceptance. At the moment when I get a rejection, I'm filing them as 'sort later' and forgetting about them. It's very freeing. I like it.
.jpeg?picon=2474)
By: Jan Mader,
on 3/21/2009
I sometimes use weekends just to chat with you. Today is no exception, except today I need to share a personal story and ask for some honest feedback.
I'm going to take a deep breath first. This is difficult.
Over six years ago, I sold a children's story called Tango and Tilly to a publisher in Canada. I was contracted for this manuscript and six more in the series.
This book was my heart because it was based on my own horse Tango (who I adore)...and me.
I used Tango's antics as my inspiration. I used my imagination and joy to write the stories.
I won't go into great detail (partially for legal reasons), but through no fault of my own, two years into the process, my rights were returned to me. I've been sitting on the story since 2006.
Last weekend, out of the blue, someone said to me, "I bought your book for my granddaughter, and she loves it!"
I asked which book and she said, Tango and Tilly.
I was flabbergasted. Long story short. Somehow, some way, my book is being sold (or shown as available) illegally through many sources. It would cost me tens of thousands of dollars to pursue this legally. I don't have that kind of money.
Here is my question to you: If I had the book re-illustrated and then self-published Tango and Tilly, do you think I could generate enough interest to sell it through this blog? If it is successful, I could sell subsequent stories to a publisher here in the states.
That's it. Please spill your guts. Be honest with me. I believe in honesty.
The original publisher has nothing to do with this horrible situation.
By: Darcy Pattison,
on 2/16/2009
I had a question come up last week: how hard and fast are the rules about the length of a picture book manuscript? Can you get by with 1900 words? 2000 words? 2500 words?
The length requirements for every genre, from picture books to easy readers to short chapter to middle grade and teen novels — the recommended lengths are only guidelines.
Write your story the best way you can. Most editors will say to write the story you need to write. They will worry about how to fit it all into 32 pages, or if it should go to 48 pages or if it should be cut.
Some genres, some publishers are very strict on guidelines. On the other hand, some publishers and some genres have very strict guidelines. Easy readers are only allowed a certain number of characters per line and rarely exceed posted story length. If in doubt, ask the editor; or, simply follow the guidelines.
Consider your audience. You should also consider your readers and the characteristics and interests of the readers. For pre-school kids, do you really expect them to sit still and stay interested in something that is 2000 words long? Time yourself reading those 2000 words and consider the attention span of young children. Given a choice, wouldn’t they rather hear a story — complete with a beginning, middle, end and an emotional tug — in just 200 words?
Make sure you are matching up a story with an audience. If you are breaking the guidelines, ask yourself the tough question: is this story targeted to the right age audience?
Don’t fall in love with your words. Also, be sure — how to put this delicately — make sure you aren’t being lazy or sloppy in your writing. I’ve seen 2000 words stories that can easily be cut to 800 words and be all the better for it. I’ve had stories like that myself. Change as many verbs as possible to active verbs, eliminate all adverbs, and most adjectives; convert prepositional phrases to adjectives or omit; cut any redundancies; cut dialogue to bare minimum; etc. Cut.
Follow the guidelines — usually. In other words, the guidelines are guidelines for good reasons and if you ignore them, it is at your own peril. Yes, of course, you’ll find picture books at 1900 words; but they will be written for the upper elementary students, not the toddlers. But there will also be rare exceptions when the subject matter, the writing, or the genre will allow you to bend the guidelines — a little.
.jpg?picon=1806)
By: Linda Strachan,
on 11/17/2008
Don’t you hate it when you think of something when you are half asleep and it's crystal clear in every detail but when you come to note it down later, or in the morning, it's but a shadow of its former self. This happened to me recently. This is what I remember, but the original seemed so much more... I don’t know what... just more!
Last week I was almost asleep when I started thinking of a journey, not your average trip by car, plane or on foot and it wasn’t even my story…
You see there is this little squat horn-toed creature with sharp ears and a rather long chin. He is on his way along a winding path through what is obviously a fairytale land, you can tell that by the lane that meanders through unbelievably perfect countryside with undulating hills, all the optimum size for ‘pleasantness’. He is muttering and mumbling to himself as he approaches a small house with happily drooping roof, which might just look like it had been knitted if you looked at it in the right light. He has several packages under his arm that all look similar in shape and size. They are each wrapped in brown paper and tied with a piece of old knotted string.
He knocks at the door and when a young wench in a low cut blouse opens the door he gingerly hands over one of the rectangular packages. She frowns when she sees who is at the door but she takes the package. The creature looks pained as she is patently uninterested and quickly shuts the door before he has even finished speaking. He stands for a moment staring at the closed door, almost as if he wants to knock again.
Eventually he trots off along the road to the next building, which looms high above him, an imposing structure. This time he pulls a bell that rings sonorously, echoing through the valley. A tall, thin man opens the door. The horn-toed creature offers him one of the packages giving detailed instructions. The tall, thin man takes it and although he promises to deliver the package the creature shakes his head knowing that his precious package is unlikely to be opened at all, far less by the person it is intended for.
(yes, I can hear the large penny dropping as some of you read this!!)
Setting off once more he finally arrives at a shabby looking hut and on knocking at the door he is welcomed in by a scruffy old man and offered a mug of steaming ale. They sit together and the creature begins to talk at length as he offers the package, pushing it into the old man’s hands. The scruffy old man takes the sheaf of papers from the wrapping and starts to read the first few lines. In moments he is engrossed paying no attention to his guest.
Delighted, the creature sinks back into his chair and waits, unwilling to disturb the shabby old man’s obvious enjoyment of his manuscript. After a few pages the old man looks up and grins. They shake hands and the creature sets off with a spring in his step.
As he walks home he sees a familiar package at the top of the pile of rubbish outside the tall imposing building, wrapped in brown paper and string but slightly torn at the corner. A little further on he notices that one of the windows of the first house is open, unsurprising on this hot day, but he cans see that it is his manuscript that has been rolled up and used to stop the window closing.
With a shrug of his slightly bent shoulders he continues on his way home, still wearing a smile as he remembers the look on the old man’s face as he read, the delight and enthusiasm in his voice. The creature knows the old man may still decide not to take it but he is still happy because he is sure his precious words are being read and at least considered, not discarded……
Frontenac Publishing (AB) invites poetry manuscripts for Dektet 2010: A Celebration of Canadian Poetry. Ten poetry books will be chosen for the series. Length: 65-85 pages. Selected manuscripts will receive a publishing contract, including a $1000 advance and royalties. Open to Canadian writers only. Deadline: October 31, 2008. More details...
Add a CommentSmall feminist publisher Second Story Press (ON) is currently accepting unsolicited manuscripts of special interest to women. Accepts fiction, non-fiction and children’s books. More details...
Add a Comment
By: Christy Raedeke,
on 6/9/2008
The question I get asked most often these days is about the status of my finished manuscript, so here's the answer: Unknown.
Here's what I do know. My agent sent it out about six weeks ago and we've had one "pass" (such a euphemism for rejection! Like she's been asked if she wants a dinner roll, "No thanks, I'll pass."). We've had one offer for revision with an amazing Editor at a top house. And we have two Editors still considering the manuscript. One of those is male; a big-wig at a hot publishing house that is considered "independent" even though it's an imprint of a large British publisher. The other is female, a Senior Editor at an imprint of one of
Last communication with my agent was right before BEA. She was going to follow-up with the two outstanding editors (and I mean outstanding and in both personality and status with manuscript) this week. So hopefully we'll know something soon.
I feel pretty good about the whole thing. Even if the two outstanding don't make an offer, I still have a fall-back offer for revision with a Senior Editor who knows her s**t. It would be an honor to work with her; I had a manuscript critique with her at a writing conference last year (different manuscript) and I loved her humor, approach, and editorial eye.
And now we wait. Arg.
By: Christy Raedeke,
on 4/30/2008
When my manuscript went out to four editors a couple of weeks ago, I waved off questions about nerves or jitters. “I’m just glad I’m so deep into this new manuscript,” I’d said. “It keeps me from thinking about the other one at all.”
This worked, of course, for about 48 hours. I wrote with a new-found fervor for two full days and then the brakes locked up. I found myself sampling some of that powerful gateway drug, Google. While I have exercised great restraint in not putting those editors’ names into Google Alerts in order to get a fresh feed of information, I will admit to some seriously deep profiling.
I read their blogs, looked at their photos on Facebook or Myspace, read summaries of talks they given at conferences, even researched some hobbies I’d never heard of. For instance, one of these fine editors is into randonneuring, which I discovered is a fancy French word for long-distance unsupported endurance cycling. Spiraling into neurosis from too much Googling, I immediately concluded this editor would hate my work—that my dislike of anything 1) involving long distances 2) unsupported 3) that one has to endure or 4) cycling-related would somehow come across, despite the fact that not one of these four things is ever mentioned in my YA novel.
Then I realized that writing is exactly like randonneuring without the bike. It is nothing if not a long-distance, unsupported endurance race. I'm just grateful that lycra shorts aren't required.
Today I’m getting a grip. No search engines, no blog trolling for updates on current states of mind. I’m back to that manuscript I was so grateful to have—you know, the one that was keeping my mind off everything else…
Right.
Excellent article thanks for the heads up Karen and thanks Suzanne for the great advice once again.
Billie
Great tips, and as always good advice.
Terri
Billie, Suzanne certainly knows her stuff. Glad you found it helpful.
Terri, Thanks for stopping by. Suzanne does always have good advice!
Excellent tips and well worth working through every time we edit something - it's easy for weak verbs, 'stall phrases' (great term), and participle phrases to creep in.
Maggie, There is so much to watch out for that it's a good idea to have a checklist when self-editing.
Loved the Flabby or Fit analogy.