When I'm ruler of Can-mer'ca
(And Florida's sunk into the sea)
When my tyranny's established
Then I'll make just one decree:
Every Mountie in Ca-nah-dah
With their gorgie little hats
With their gorgie little bootsies
And their tunics, breeches, spats
WILL BE MY SLAVES
I'll gather them like tribbles
in my Mountie-catcher truck
Take them to my Mountie Mansion
(Oh those lucky duck Canucks)
I'll have Mounties in the kitchens
I've have Mounties in the halls
If there's Mounties at the fences
I'll have Mounties on my walls
They'll feed me grapes by poolside
They'll feed me Lean Cuisine
They'll love, adore, and fear me
As their reigning Mountie Queen.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Soon, my friends. Soon. All I need to do is wait for the government to become completely corrupt, then I take over. So, obviously, not long.
On a completely related note...Did you hear Bill Nye the Science Guy is on Dancing With The Stars this season??
You cannot make these things up. I'm totally pumped. I'm gonna watch every episode. Even if I'm scared out of my mind about seeing him do moves like THIS
I'll be strong. My innocence might crawl into a corner and die, but I will be strong.
Why is my innocence so small??
Over twenty years ago I was volunteering every week at a soup kitchen in Washington, D.C., where I met the most amazing children and families. As I got to know them, I saw how much they had to struggle, but I also saw how bright they were and how motivated they were to succeed.
I also learned that most of them didn’t have a single book to call their own, and that broke my heart.
So, along with two good friends, I started First Book, to make sure those kids, and kids like them all across the country, would have brand-new books of their own, and to make sure that the teachers and program leaders working with these children every day would have the books and resources they need to do their jobs.
Twenty years later, First Book has distributed over 90 million books to kids in need, we work with a national network of over 25,000 schools and programs and we have local volunteers raising money in over 150 cities. Volunteers, corporate partners and publishers, working hand-in-hand with teachers, librarians and local nonprofit leaders … it humbles and amazes me how much we’ve been able to accomplish together, and how many lives we’ve been able to change for the better.
But we’ve only just scratched the surface. There are 30 million children living in low-income households in the United States, and we’re only reaching a fraction of them. They’re waiting for us, and they can’t wait any longer.
So we’ve got some big plans to celebrate our 20th anniversary. Before this year is over, we’re going to distribute another 10 million new books, recruit local volunteers in 30 additional cities, and double the number of schools and programs that are connected to First Book’s resources, from 25,000 to 50,000.
We’ve come so far together, and have made so much progress, but there’s more to be done. Join us!
- Donate: Every $2.50 pays for a brand-new, high-quality book for a child in need.
- Volunteer: Work with other members of your community to get books to local schools and programs.
- Spread the word: If you know a teacher, librarian or volunteer who works with kids from low-income families, in any kind of program, help get them signed up with First Book. We’ve got books for them!
PS Publishing are celebrating their 10th anniversary by selling Anniversary Gift Boxes of their books at a reduced price. As an early Christmas present (or rather a late one as I won't receive them until after the holidays) I ordered a collection of Ten Novellas that would have originally cost £100. I can't wait to see what books I receive.
Remember my blog post of December 1st when I was high from completing NaNoWriMo and I had such big, big plans? They're already floundering. I predicted the second draft of 'Theatre' would be at 20,150 words by now. It currently stands at 10,156 - but they are 10,156 brilliant and superbly plotted words of course. ::wink::
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I look forward to the day you're supreme dictator of Can-Merica... America should be more like Canada, they eat everything with syrup and have meese in their backyards. Sounds like a good time
Can I come visit you in your Mountie Mansion? Because I love this idea and fully support it. Clearly you'll be a terrific Mountie Queen.
I did not know about Bill Nye...I will have to check it out. ;-)
I shall be your humble subject...
Mounties as pool boys? Yeah!
And I'm totally with you on Bill Nye the Science Guy on Dancing with the Stars. Who's next--Diego from Dora the Explorer (if animated characters could somehow be on the show)?
Love all of it!!
Brilliant, as ever. I should say that one panel in particular does speak to a certain childhood nightmare of mine in which my grandpa was a hunter (which he wasn't), and had a bunch of mounted human heads in his basement. (Then, of course, they all came alive and started talking to me, which was even freakier, and let's not even talk about what happened to their bodies.) But it's still great! We will come visit your land and buy Mountie-related merchandise.
You just made me go search out Due South on Youtube. My laundry will never get done at this rate.
Heather did this same thing to her brothers when she was growing up. She does come and dust them occasionally.
This post made me laugh many times over. Good job.
I wondered why you asked to practice your taxidermy on me.
I KNEW YOU GUYS WOULD BE MY LOYAL SUBJECTS!!
I'm going to make you all members of my Cabinet. It comes with a hat.
@LinWash - Diego is a hottie. YES to this. (It will be my second decree.)
@Drew - What are you talking about, that's not a nightmare, that's a freakin DREAM COME TRUE! I wish I had cool dreams like that.
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HAHAHA this is so hilarious - what a genius you are. :)
(Which proves that you rightly should be the leader of Can-Merica)
Sooo....the Government shut down today. Time to make your move!
@Mary - I shall begin by Shanghai-ing the teleprompter keyboard. I don't what I'll have Mr. President say but it will definitely have the words "Hokey Pokey" in it.
In Entwined, were the girl's nightgowns black, too? I love your book and your blog. You are amazing.
@Anony 7:16 - Oh you #^_^# I imagined the girls's nightgowns (and undies, come to that) remaining undyed white.