How to use this Page

I try not to edit while drafting a story--and usually fail in the case of short stories and first chapters--but I'm considering following my five-year-old niece's method.

How to write according to Amy...

Write two sentences.
Cross out any misspellings or loose words.
Spend next half-hour drawing pretty and gruesome illustrations.
If you can't find a green crayon, add snot. ("Everyone has green up their noses," she said at my yuck!)
If you can't find a red crayon....use a pink one instead. Phew!

You may want to attempt the above method while writing a steampunk story for the below--though I recommend you don't.

Sean Wallace is looking for stories for The Mammoth Book of Steampunk to be published by Robinson in the UK and Running Press in the US in 2012. Deadline is April 1st, 2011 and the pay rate is five cents a word.

Get to.

It's that time of year again. Fantasy Magazine are running a 'Best of' poll. If you enjoyed my story Trench Foot, I'd love it if you could take a moment to vote for it, and if you didn't, there are many other wonderful stories that I am sure would love to receive your vote.

Head over to Horror News.net, click on book reviews, and to your right (yep, I just held my hand up to check which was the left and which was the right, and I do that in cars all the time) you'll find a link to a fabulous review of Necrotic Tissue #7. Woot! Anton Cancre is now officially my favourite person (okay, I do have a soft spot for R Scott McCoy, Nate Lambert, and everyone on my blog list but that's a whole other/sordid story).

I quote:

But the true monster here is “The Scratch of an Old Record” by Catherine Gardner, a surreal piece haunted slipstream that confounds as much as it wounds. Damn straight she earned the pro-pay prize of the issue.

Can the day get any better? Glows a shade of purple - oh yes, I am kind of having a Torchwood week (I'm not supposed to like the show) and John Barrowman is growing on me (did I say that out loud - good lord).

Fantasy Magazine's Sean Wallace is going to Readercon and he is taking some goodies with him. The second picture made my day, possibly my week, probably my month. Full of July goodness. I can't wait for my story to appear on the site, I have loads of prizes stacked up for my promotion thingy and I need to use them asap as my niece keeps wandering off with them (so far I've lost a pirate flag and an inflatable parrot). I'm doomed if she discovers the fairy and pirate tattoos.

Oh, and if you go to the con, be sure to pick one up.

So I'm playing the BlogPostThief today. Aaron Polson made a list of the ten stories he was most proud to have written and asked do we have favourites amongst our own stories or do we love them all the same. I definitely have favourites, and here's my ten:

Frog & The Mail Order Bride (out in submission land)
I think of this as my dark fairy tale and I love dear Frog so very much that I am surprised each time he is rejected (four times in all - plus he spent months languishing at a market that eventually died).

Bob's Spares & Repairs (published in 'Help' anthology '08, due for pub in Twisted Tongue in '09).
My futuristic western about an android setting out from his small town who comes across a serial-killing robot named Bob.

The Scratch of an Old Record (TBP in July 09 issue of Necrotic Tissue)
I love the idea behind this story (which I can't give away because you haven't read it yet) and I also love that it was picked as the best story in the issue making it my second pro-payment story.

The Graveyard of Dead Vehicles (WolfSongs anthology, 2008)
A surreal story that I like to think of as a 'thru the looking glass tale' from an MC who has lived her life on the surreal side of the glass.

Flying Dutchmen (TBP 2009 in Space & Time)
The first time I used my home town, Liverpool, as the backdrop along with the fabulous 'Liver Birds' building which I walk by on my way to work. Plus, I love the title.

Manipulating Paper Birds (out in submission land)
An evil clown story - what's not to love about that.

Cold Coffee Cups & Curious Things (Malpractice, 2009)
Written to the anthology guidelines brief and arriving successfully at the other side. Plus, it's a little bit surreal - I love stories that warp reality - and it resides amongst some fantastic stories in the anthology.

Chasing Alice out of Wonderland (out in submission land)
One of my longer shorts (at almost 5,000 words) in which I am proud of my future world building and of course it's full of zombies. Zombies good.

Trench Foot (TBP Fantasy Magazine 2009)
My first pro-payment sale - what's not to love about that. Plus it has a pirate and fairies.

Last place (not that the stories are in any particular order) is split between: 'In Silence We Stalk', and 'The Hollow Framework of the Cotton Man'.

In Silence We Stalk is a new story, currently out on submission, that I think is creepy... Of course a few rejections down the line, I might change my mind about that.

The Hollow Framework of the Cotton Man was my second story accepted by the fantastic Pete Crowther at 'Postscripts', and I think it's very, very creepy. Definitely shiversome.

Okay, now I feel like I need to bow down to the god of all things humble and admit that although I love the above stories, I don't expect the world too. I've also only included stories from last year and this year as there are very few stories prior to that that I am proud of. I am also quite surprised that I've only included one flash story in the above list. Like Aaron, I'd love to know if you have any favourites. (Plus if you're feeling a bit dejected it's a great spirit motivator).

I’ve posted about the CAFE DOOM fourth annual writing competition before, but with the deadline fast approaching (October 30th), the entrants being few (about 11 at last count), and the prize being spectacular (first place: pro rate of pay at $0.05 per word plus publication in Necrotic Tissue; second place: $100 in Shocklines Vouchers; third place: $50 in Shocklines vouchers), I thought I would remind you all.

Whoever wins this is a third of the way to becoming an ‘active’ member of the Horror Writers Association – unless of course you already have two pro rate sales and then you are already there.

So what do you have to do? Write a horror story of up to 2,500 words, join the forum (free, easy, fun), email your story to Ed, read the other stories in the competition, vote for your three favourites, win. Yep, that’s right. You get to read the competition. You know exactly what (though not who) you are up against. You can either sit back and bask in your brilliance and plan what you are going to spend your winnings on; or, like me, decide yours is going to come in last and crawl under a stone.

Full guidelines here.