As shared in this blog many times before, this started out as a short story, which touched something deep in my writer's soul for lack of a better way to describe it. Over the years...many years and many re-writes, it evolved into a radio play that was entered and subsequently didn't win or even place, in the BBC International Playwriting competition and then back to a play. In spite of many attempts at 'putting it to bed' permanently, somehow, it always calls me back. Maybe there's a message there or perhaps merely wishful thinking on my part. It's still a work in progress.
Be that as it may...here is the latest edit . Changed the venue of the story to one place and gave Joe McKenna a dog. Characters are basically the same but adding a few more as the story develops. Note that there is more spacing than normal to make reading easier.
In the way of background information, Joe McKenna is a crusty, old curmudgeon who lives with and for his dog, Daisy. A few times per week, he and his army buddies drop by the local bar to talk about old times, re-live past glories and complain about their aches and pains.
OLD SOLDIERS
THE TIME:
SETTING:
JOE
(to himself)
Yup…yup…yup… The way things are goin’, won’t be long before we’re all gone. Poor old, Perce. Died alone without anyone there to see him on his way to the big battlefield in the sky. ‘Here’s to you, Perce! You’ll be missed for sure!’
Lifts glass in the air and lowers it
‘Refill, Vince.’
JOE’S FRIEND, MIKE, DRESSED IN UNIFORM
COMPLETE WITH STRIPES AND MEDAL, JOINS HIM
AT THE TABLE
MIKE
Freezing out there. Wind cuts like a knife. See you got a head start. Buying a round?
JOE
You just got here and already trying to mooch a free drink?
MIKE
When it comes to mooching, bud, you got that covered and then some. When’s the last time you paid?
JOE
(pretends to take out imaginary book)
Let me check my diary here…last Wednesday, three in the afternoon. You buying or not?
MIKE
Not
JOE
You are a cheap bastard! I’m stuck with the bill, again. ‘Vince – two whiskeys’
MIKE
- Joe here is paying by the way -
JOE
Whatever. See you’re in full regalia.
MIKE
If not today, when? Take it out once a year. Pee-ew! What’s that stink coming from your direction
JOE
Throw in a dozen or so moth balls when I store the uniform
MIKE
At least put it out to air a couple days before you wear it. Really reeks
VINCE, the bartender, brings over drinks
VINCE
One of you guys forget to wash?
MIKE
Joe here uses moth balls for his uniform
JOE
So what. Why should I share it with moths
VINCE
No insult intended but you’re smelling up my bar. Wouldn’t hurt to go out and air yourself out a bit. You paying, Joe?
JOE
Put it on my tab. The man’s as cheap as they come. You’d think for a special occasion he’d spring for a round but that would be asking too much for his old friend
Nice if one of you would pay cash for a change. Your tab, Joe, goes back a year. Let’s see…you owe me $1500.34. I’m feeling generous today so drop the thirty-four cents and make an even $1500
JOE
You’re all heart. Where d’ya expect me to find that kind of money on my service pension?
VINCE
At least give me something. Anything! I have bills to pay, too, y’know
JOE
Next check. I’ll give you a couple of bucks towards it. May have to give up some food items and my dog here will have to get used to eating just a few days a week…
VINCE
Why don’t you lay on the guilt a bit more. Listen…about your Daisy…You know I’ve never objected to you bringing her here. I like her a lot but like I told you, dogs aren’t allowed in bars. I’ve closed my eyes up until now but there’s a new inspector and word has it that he goes by the letter of the law
JOE
She’s a service dog. Aren’t you girl?
Daisy picks up her head responding to hearing her name
She goes where I go. Calms my nerves and watches out for me
MIKE
How old is she, anyway? Getting’ on in years
JOE
What’s the difference? She’s there when I need her
VINCE
She better be legally registered when or if the inspector comes ‘round
JOE
Don’t worry ‘bout my Daisy. I’ll just explain there’s extenuating circumstances
VINCE
Don’t say I didn’t warn you
JOE
Mac’s supposed to meet us here
MIKE
Seriously? The man doesn’t drive and uses a walker. How’s he getting here?
JOE
He wants to join us for Percy’s funeral
MIKE
Amazing. Never lets his condition stop him from doing anything. Sometimes I wonder how he gets around but he does. Mind over matter I guess. It’s either that or give up and die. Mind you, sometimes when pain takes over, it don’t seem like such a bad idea
JOE
He just walked in. Poor guy can hardly move. ‘Over here, Mac!’
MIKE
None of us are peppy anymore, in case you hadn’t noticed. My glass is empty by the way
JOE
Yeah and? I bought last time
MIKE
So what. You owed me from all the rounds I bought before
JOE
It’s your turn, el cheapo!
MAC
(gasping to catch his breath)
Really…windy… out… there – and cold. Hope the wind… dies…down… for later. Hard to get around in this kind of weather, ‘specially with a walker. What times the funeral, anyway?
MIKE
You really planning to attend, Mac? Not trying to discourage you or anything but it’ll be hard pushing your walker on grass and that wind…
MAC
I’ll manage. Old Percy was one of the last few members of our group. He deserves our respect and he’d do the same for any of us. Can’t believe he’s gone… Really cold out
JOE
You look like an ice cube and your hands turned blue. Why didn’t you wear gloves? How’d you get here, anyway?
MAC
By bus. Took me forty-five minutes if you don’t count standing at the bus stop waiting for twenty minutes. Damn busses never stick to their schedule
JOE
What’s in the package?
MAC
Got a treat for Daisy
MAC takes a bone out of a bag
(cont’d. MAC) Found it in the trash in back of the supermarket on the way here. Look at it – a perfectly good bone with lots of meat. Probably even good enough for us to eat. You should see all the food they toss out there. Fruit and veggies with a couple of bruises and piles of bread. Cakes too!
DAISY struggles to get up as MAC gives her the bone
MIKE
The dog eats better than we do. You…you don’t take things from the trash…do you?
MAC
I personally don’t but what if I did? There are people in third world countries that wouldn’t think twice about eating it. ‘There you go Daisy. A perfectly good bone for you. Enjoy. ’Ouch…trouble standing up…back is out again. Stupid bus trip didn’t help none
JOE
Why didn’t you take a cab?
MAC
You hav’ta be kidding. Like I can afford a taxi? I’m here now so stop jabbering and order me something warm. No – make that hot. Gonna be freezing at the cemetery for sure. Not too many people will show up ‘specially at our age
MIKE
There ain’t that many at our age, left. We don’t get to choose the kind of weather t’get buried. Funeral’s called for noon
JOE
What’s your pleasure, Mac? I’m paying
MIKE
You’re buying hima drink? What about me?
JOE
He just arrived. The man needs to warm up and besides, he brought Daisy a bone. Anyone who thinks about my Daisy’s needs deserves a drink on the house
MIKE
Remember I’m your old army pal who stayed with you in thick and thin?
JOE
I paid you back a long time ago. What’s your poison, Mac? Whiskey like always?
MAC
Neh. Hot coffee will do me fine
JOE
With a shot of whiskey t’give it flavor, right?
MAC
Plain, old hot coffee with milk and sugar
JOE
Straight coffee? That’s it?
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