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Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: Nitwittery abounds, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 1 - 17 of 17
1. Resist! Resist!

Dear Miss Snark,
I recently received this email:


(Agent's name)

I see you've already rejected my query on (title redacted) oh, a month ago. And you're in great company. Sorry-- please disregard the query I sent ten minutes ago because I don't need another rejection.

Thanks,
It's a fun read. Why is everyone passing?
(author)

Can I borrow a match to set my hair on fire too?



Yes indeed.

Just to underscore the obvious:
If you screw up and send a query twice, don't compound the mistake by writing to say so. Don't say you don't need more rejection, cause really, who does??

I know you get tired of hearing no, but the person to ask "why" is not the agent.

0 Comments on Resist! Resist! as of 1/1/1900
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2. Return of the Nitwit!

Hi! The author (name redacted to preserve that poor sucker's identity) recommended your website. Do you have any tips for getting a literary agent? Can YOU be my literary agent? Will you be at the book expo in late May?

-Thanks


No
No
Yes


Major clue: When someone directs you to a website, generally it helps to read more than the title before you fire off an email.

47 Comments on Return of the Nitwit!, last added: 5/5/2007
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3. Nitwit of the Day? No, this one is BIGGER than that!

Dear Miss Snark

Today I received this email:

I have a completed middle grade manuscript that I was considering submitting for your consideration. Unfortunately, the web page, (redacted) and in fact the entire web site, is unreadable in one sense or another. Dark brown coloured fonts on a black background just doesn't cut it. Perhaps I'm the only one who can't read the site and if so, then I apologize for taking up your time. Otherwise, without properly visible submission instructions, heaven only knows who is sending what to you.

Any idea for what I should say in return?




You mean beyond "FOAD"?

Why anyone complains to a particular agent at a LARGE agency about the website is nitwittery of the prize winning level.

Large agencies have things called webmasters. Small agencies do too. Even Miss Snark has one (yo, Yapp, put DOWN the mouse).

Here's the other major clue to think about before shooting off your foolish mouth: how a webpage looks on YOUR computer may not be how it looks on others.

Even if you think you're performing a service by telling an agent the web page is hard to read (and you're not, so don't) you should at the very least look at it again on a computer that isn't yours.

And if you really find an error, direct it to the webmaster.

This kind of nitwittery will follow you around. Everyone at the LARGE agency knows your name now. As do I. Trust me, if a NitWit List existed you'd be on it.

7 Comments on Nitwit of the Day? No, this one is BIGGER than that!, last added: 4/28/2007
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4. 10 Nitwiticisms

1. Not putting "synopsis" somewhere near the top of the page of...the synopsis. I don't ever ask for a synopsis so the fact you sent it in a query letter is stupid in and of itself, but whatthehell, I can get over that.

But, I start reading and it sounds like an FBI briefing, so I thumb through the pages and sure enough...chapter one is three pages into this mess. Do I have to explain why this is first stage nitwittery?


2. Opening with people sleeping, dreaming, watching tv, reading, blogging or otherwise doing static things is the EZPass lane to the "sorry not right for me" Crosspatch Expressway.


3. Opening your query letter by quoting the first page of your manuscript; a page you've enclosed. Why this is stupid should be obvious.


4. Writing "I fixed the six typos you marked on page one so here's my revised query". I marked those because I needed to do one good deed before close of business on Friday NOT cause it was the only reason I said no.

Don't requery unless invited. DO NOT. The way you can tell if I want to hear from you again about this project is: requery when/resubmit/send again after revisions. The way you can tell I want you to hear from you on OTHER things is: keep me in mind for other things. EVERYTHING else is just trying to make you less of a nitwit in your queries to OTHER agents.



5. Pictographs on your query letter- aka inkwells, pens, tablets, open books, or dog forbid, the authoress herself looking pensive --this is a 100% reliable indicator of bad writing. Why? Cause the writer is so busy announcing "I'm a writer" they forget the words are what count.

I don't care if you think it's cute or sweet or your ancient grandmama designed it, take it OFF your business correspondence. There is rampant prejudice against pictographs and you do yourself no favors by thinking we don't notice.

You might say "Miss Snark, you yourself said, 'write well; that's all that counts'" and that is in fact true. I did say that. But when I see those stupid fluffy Rabbitania rejects I expect stupid writing. I was not born thinking this. I have learned this. It's the same reason you do not sit next to the loudmouth at conferences--guilt by association. Don't excoriate me for this appalling prejudice---know it and deal with it.


6. Write your address in felt tip marker on the SASE. Despite all my yapping I do not actually keep a pail of gin on my desk. I do however keep coffee, water, and a vase of flowers. Sometimes those containers fall over--earthquakes; Mr. Clooney sightings; Killer Yapp fleeing the scene of the crime; wayward colleagues trying to steal MJ Rose's ARC of The Reincarnationist; the usual. You address your envelope in green ink and you may never see it again when the address dissolves under a wet paw print either canine, human or agent.


7. International reply coupons. Don't even get me started. Don't waste your time. These require me to go to the post office and stand in line. Not gonna happen. Not now, not ever. Never in fact. Ever. Either buy US stamps or query people who take equeries. I throw these out. I read the queries, and if I want more I email, but if I don't, I don't reply. Save your money. If you're writing from the far side of the moon, just put your damn email address in the query letter rather than include one of these.

8. When you quote an editor from a publishing house that takes unagented work, I know you're quoting a rejection letter. Don't do this. I don't care if the editor said "this is the niftiest novel since Carolyn Keene put Nancy Drew in a roadster with Ned Nickerson tied to the rumble seat". What the editor did not say is "and I'll be making an offer". If I can't figure this out I'm an idiot and why would you want me for your agent?


9. Do not call my office to ask if you can send a query letter. Do not stammer "oh I expected to get voice mail" when I answer at 9pm on Saturday night. Did you think I was going to call you back on Monday? No. I'm not. Neither is any other agent, ever. That doesn't mean you can't query me. You don't need an invitation. Just do it.


10. 8 point single spaced sample pages. Not now, not ever. Never. Discarded unread. No SASE. What a fucking waste of your time and money.

15 Comments on 10 Nitwiticisms, last added: 5/2/2007
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5. Idiot agents

Dear Miss Snark:

As a faithful and (hopefully!) not-nitwitty reader of your blog, I abide by, nay, cherish your advice. First and foremost: Follow the Damn Directions.

So: today I received from Agent, in my own SASE no less, the following directions (and I quote verbatim): "Please feel free to pass along a larger chunk of your manuscript, [name]."

I initially sent (as per directions!) a query and 3 chapters.

How much more is "a larger chunk"? Not the rest, or Agent would have said so, right? So, 4 more chapters? 6 more? I was tempted to send the rest but knew I should consult you first. I only seek clarity.





After all my yapping about following the directions this just takes the cake for unclear directions.

Send half the novel. That's just a random number but since she didn't ask for a full, or "all", your guess is as good as mine.

Sheesh.

12 Comments on Idiot agents, last added: 4/24/2007
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6. Yes, yes we have a nitwit!

Dear Miss Snark

Firstly, I am fragile today as my boiler has broken down, so please be gentle. (Miss Snark sees your vulnerability. It doesn't stop her from skewering you of course, but she sees it)

My question is this; I had a short story published in an anthology, and was spotted by an agent from a BIG literary agency. She took me out to lunch, asked to see more work which has taken me 5 months to complete because of The Sims.

I have finally sent 3 chapters of a new project she wanted to see,and she said she would read it over the weekend - she is very very very good with communication normally. It's been 5 days minus the weekend. She must have read it. Whats taking all the extra time? Since we have a sortof relationship, does that mean I shouldn't worry too much about the delay? Do other people at the agency need to read it to? Do they need to leave it to stew on a cooker for a while before letting me know what they think?

I know you normally say 30 days min but I do have a relationship with her right? Do you take this long responding to clients? She did say she'd read it over
the weekend? Am I just stressing? *Munches cheese and onion crisps*

I love your blog by the way. (we'll see about that my pretty)



Ok, let's review some facts here:
it took you five months to write three chapters.
She's had the three chapters for five days and you're wondering if you should call her?
Have you lost your fucking mind?

DO NOT FUCK THIS UP.

You have the interest and attention of someone who likes your work well enough to call you up, ask for it, and sit around waiting for you to tweak your commas for five months without calling you up and harrassing you. Look, she's got a mortgage to pay and a dog to feed. You think the dog eats leftovers??

DO NOT CALL HER.
Do not write to her.
Do not think about her.

And in case you're wondering there's this little thing called the London Book Fair coming up. And taxes are due. And the new Greek and Roman galleries are opening at the Met. We're busy here. Go work on chapter four.

21 Comments on Yes, yes we have a nitwit!, last added: 4/18/2007
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7. "no more queries"


QUESTION -- does it seem unseemly for an aspiring novelist to become near-totally unhinged with angry disgust when he sees a major lit agency posting a "sorry-- no more blind queries" note on their website? Maybe I'm inured to such annoyance as that "sorry-- we're too busy" attitude seems common in the movie-writing game, but the friend seemed genuinely bothered. This struck me as odd.

Also-- is it a great deal of trouble having large water-cooler jugs of sloe gin delivered to your workplace? The advantages (especially when suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous dumpth) seem to outweigh any inconvenience. A large "Herradura-on-demand" dispenser seems that sort of thing up behind which I could very much line.



Anyone who gets his or her panties in a wad about "no more queries" is an idiot. Feel free to quote me.

"I insist on querying you" is prima facie evidence of feral ego. People who disregard those announcements are the least likely to be writing something you'd actually make an exception for.

Mostly when agencies say "no queries" it means they won't open them even if you have an SASE. They throw them away, unopened, unread. This sounds to me like the textbook definition of "waste of time". Now, I don't know about you, but I prefer to call up editors looking for projects rather than those who aren't. Silly me I know.



I had to look up Herradura and we don't drink no stinkin' tequila here bucko.
We have a bathtub full of gin. No delivery required. We make it ourselves.

18 Comments on "no more queries", last added: 3/31/2007
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8. Nitwit of the fucking year

Dear Miss Snark, my non fiction is being represented by a lit agent.. I understand she is very busy but while I’m completing the manuscript for project 1, I sent her a query and proposal for my next project – an email that she has totally ignored. I have interpreted her silence as meaning she is not interested (it's been 3 months now with no word from her re project 2) So I have queried other agents and have fifteen asking to see my proposal. Is it considered very bad form to have one agent for one book, another agent for another book? Should I just wait and see if my agent for project 1 is truly disinterested in project 2? Or does this mean that my 2nd project should just die a slow death as I dont want to mess up my relationship with my agent...


too late.

If you were my client, I'd release you this minute. This is the absolute height of nitwittery and you've pretty much shot yourself in the foot six ways to Sunday.

Here's why: you have no idea if your agent even received your proposal. I can't count on both hands, boh feet and Killer Yapp's extra toes the number of times email has gone astray. Spam filters for one. Misstyping an address that doesn't get bounced back for two. General glitches for three.

I lost three months of email once. Mail I'd opened and left in my inbox to deal with later. When the hard drive walked out the door in the hands of a crack head, I lost ALL of that saved email. Ergo I was not able to respond, or even to tell people to resend cause I had no way of tracking it.

NEVER assume someone is ignoring you if they don't respond to email when you have an ongoing business relationship (ie this does not apply to queries). If your agent doesn't respond, you email AGAIN. If no answer then you CALL. If no reply THEN you terminate your relationship with her and query other agents.

At no point in this process are you querying anyone else. I've seen comments in the comment column disagreeing with this rule but they are wrong. This is one of the absolute surest ways for agents to refuse to deal with you NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOUR WRITING.

We don't want clients who are going to fuck us. There are more of you than there are of us. We can find the next you. You're going to have a much harder time finding a top flight agent if you casually mention, oh you're also represented by someone else for another book because NO you don't have two agents for two books at the same time unless they are very different kinds of books and the agents KNOW about it.


You didn't really do this, did you?
You're just yanking my chain?
No one is this nitwittish...are you?

14 Comments on Nitwit of the fucking year, last added: 3/30/2007
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9. Nitwit of the Day!!

To Whom It May Concern:

Space Ark!, a great science-fiction novel, is now ready for representation to publishers or producers including having been professionally edited, copyrighted via the U.S. Library of Congress and registered with the Writers Guild of America.

We cordially invite you to visit our web site, where the book is featured, and whose URL is listed in the automated signature of this e-mail, to begin your consideration of it.

Already during the book's self-publication phase, 2,790 copies of its original manuscript have been sold! So, hurry to be the first to be able to rep the book if you're an agent, or publish it if you're a publisher, for its debut in physical book stores and in e-stores on the Internet.

A copy of the manuscript with digital color cover and inside illustrations is not free to publishers or agents. You MUST purchase a copy of the ENTIRE BOOK via our web site to peruse it. No sample chapters will be sent; no exceptions. No author biography or synopsis will be sent as all such preliminary info. is available at www.spaceark.net. If you do not want to begin consideration of the book via our web site, then we're not interested in dealing with your company; no exceptions.

We have no qualms about obtaining the modest retail price for the book's manuscript, plus shipping & handling,($35.00!) before sending a copy of it to any prospective agent or publisher whom expresses interest in the novel since many actual or ostensible agents have requested from $250.00 to as much as $500.00 in up-front fees from us just to begin consideration of Space Ark! That just barely covers our costs of printing and binding, etc. anyway. You should be willing to make a minor investment on an item whose potential for manifold return is great! If not, then we're not interested in doing business with you.

Please don't ask for any up-front fees as they are illegal, immoral and unethical and we therefore will not pay any such bogus fees regardless for what purpose they are requested; and again: no exceptions. Thank you for your cooperation.

There you have it: all the whys and wherefores of our basic policies and standards; you have yours, we have ours, and ours preside if they're incompatible. Meaning that would be a win/
lose situation because this book will be published; it's too important not to be! So, it's just a matter of whom will choose to publish it and thereby also be a winner making that a win/win outcome for both parties! The only question remaining is: will you be a winner?

Having expressed the mutual essence of an agent/client relationship, you can choose to work with me to change this hurting world through the ideas in Space Ark! Or, ignore the opportunity to free yourself and this whole world and simply remain part of the problem
rather than a force working for the solution!

We thank you for your interest in Space Ark!




well, that's one way of doing it!

And Spaceboys, if by some chance you read this, here's a clue: legitimate agents do not charge fees to read your manuscript.

140 Comments on Nitwit of the Day!!, last added: 4/26/2007
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10. A slice of clue cake

When I was about half way through writing a novel a while ago, I wound up having a long conversation with an editor I'd known socially for many years.

I described my novel. He sounded interested.**

I said, "But your company mostly publishes X and Y. My novel is only a little X and is mostly Z."

"It's OK. Send it anyway when it's done."

As he's also been known to agent for people, I figured what the hell. Even if he couldn't buy it, perhaps he could point me towards an agent or editor who might be interested in it.

When I finished the novel the following March, I double-checked that he still wanted to read it, he said he did, so I sent it to him.

I know he had a very busy year. However, after eight months, I hadn't heard anything, so I dropped him a note and said I'd rewritten part of the novel - did he want to see the rewrites? He said sure so I sent it to him.

Nearly four more months have gone by.

I would really like an acceptance or rejection from him so I can move on and try to get an agent for this novel. Should I just say, "It's been a year and I need to know if you're planning to read it or not?"



Here is a slice of advice from a two layer clue cake for you:

1. NEVER ever ever stop querying until a project is accepted. You've wasted a year here. Start querying. Don't wait for him to respond because;

2. He was being nice. You don't have a sense of it cause you're on the other side of the equation and you think of editors and agents as being tough as nails. They aren't (Miss Snark of course, is) and many times people ask for things cause they don't have the intestinal fortitude to let the conversation lag when the natural next statement appears to to be "yes I'd like to read it".

Here is a bonus clue cause clues come in threes today: don't ever talk about your novel to anyone socially until it's published. Ever.


**he sounded alive

15 Comments on A slice of clue cake, last added: 3/15/2007
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11. 13 Ways To Be a Slush Pile Reject-just today!

1. Describing the "mind set" of the American public. I'm absolutely uninterested in sweeping generalities, and I'm absolutely uninterested in sweeping generalities that don't mesh with what I see in the world. If you want to be iconoclastic, be specific. If you want to illustrate a point, use specifics. If you want me to rethink what I "know is right" be specific.

2. "Impacting" "impactful"
This is instant no.
I hate this.
I hate it so much it had an impact on my standards for rejection.
Unless you're talking about your wisdom teeth, I don't want to hear about anything that was "so impacting on your life" that you blah blah blah.

3. Missouri is NOT in "Central America".

4. Getting basic historical facts, particularly dates wrong. This drives me crazy. And before you get all huffy and say "copy editing can fix all that" let's just remember that what it REALLY means is you do NOT know what you're talking about in the novel. John Adams and Abraham Lincoln didn't take tea together. If you don't know why, don't ever query me.

5. Telling me you paid to have the book edited is shortsigted. Telling me the editor "liked" the book when she was finished is tantamount to asking for a clue rocket. If you can't figure out why, let me know.

6. "deals with the pain" "shattered lives" . These are such cliches that any confidence I had in your writing instantly evaporates. It also misses the obvious: novels aren't about shattered lives. Novels are about how people deal with/muddle through/survive terrible circumstances or events. If you can't see the difference, think about it for awhile while you read more novels.

7. "final bizarre shocking twist ending" usually means deus ex machina. It doesn't make me want to read your book.

8. "the absurdity of" followed by only one noun. The entire concept of absurdity requires contrast. The absurdity of innocence is meaningless (and convinces me you can't write worth spit) unless you place the innocence somewhere unexpected, like the green room at the Howard Stern show.

9. "Such and such an author has given me permission to use him as a professional reference." Clue: you don't need references to write or query a novel. What exactly am I supposed to do, find out if you wash your hands before reading a library book? You're not interviewing for a job here.


10. "it is a 90,000 word piece of work". ok. I believe you. Next!

11. Including a photo of yourself. This just boggles the mind. Thank all dogs you weren't naked.

12. "leave the memorial service for their late friend"...yea, those memorial services for the living are much more fun.

13. "entire species of frogs are now bearing sterile young". If you don't know why this is hilarious, you weren't paying attention in biology.

55 Comments on 13 Ways To Be a Slush Pile Reject-just today!, last added: 3/14/2007
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12. Email CC

At Publishers Marketplace Daniel Lazar writes in her profile:

"** If you email: a) NO ATTACHMENTS; b) if you copy me and every other agent in the industry, save us the time. Reject yourself."

Now, that sounds a lot like Miss Snarkliness herself, but it conflicts directly with your statement that everyone assumes a query is being sent to the world.

Is Writer's House high-falutin enough to demand (and get) exclusive queries or am I nitwit?

Pat 'fer Yapper



You're passing through Nitwitville but you don't get to take up residence because it's clear you don't understand what Dan is referring to, what the TRUE nitwits do (a good thing).

What Dan Lazar says on (ahem) his site means do NOT send a query as a cc. Send each agent a separate email. With their name and ONLY their name in the TO box. (And Writers House asks only that you query their agents one at a time, not their agents exclusively).

We ALL laugh about the cc emails we get cause they are instant rejection. INSTANT.



You might think twice about patting down Killer Yapp. He's been reading too much noir fiction and he's liable to bite just for the sake of the story line.

15 Comments on Email CC, last added: 3/14/2007
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13. Sending Queries by Fed Ex

Hi Miss Snark,

I just finished reading The First Five Pages by literary agent Noah Lukeman and enjoyed it. His chapters, examples and exercises were entertaining and will help me fine-tune some stuff in my writing. However, I read this in the first chapter and thought “Eh? What would Miss Snark say about that?” You can tell by the price of postage, this book was published a few years ago. : )


Regarding query letters:

“The second is to send your letter by FedEx (or some other guaranteed-signature delivery method) instead of by regular mail. Spend $11 instead of 33 cents. If it comes by FedEx, someone’s forced to sign for it, and thus it usually gets opened on the spot. This doesn’t guarantee it will get read—and the agent or editor may even get annoyed—but at least he’ll be aware of it. And he just might read it with greater care, because he knows you cared enough about it to spend the money.”

I’ve read on several agent blogs that this is a mistake and usually guarantees a rejection because of the trouble the agent has to go through. Plus the expense! If I sent out 30 query letters in this way, it would cost me a fortune in mailing expenses. Lukeman states earlier in the chapter it’s better to select two or three agents to query instead of twenty or thirty. While that would cut down on expenses, it certainly narrows the field of opportunity. I’m inclined to bypass both bits of advice and send out my queries to several agents via the cheap seat US Post Office.


This is utter crap.
Perhaps the copyright date is 1993, back when FedEx was more of a big deal but these days people use it in NYC instead of a messenger services.

The real reason it's crap though is that "someone has to sign for it" and that means me. Which means you've interrupted me. When I see the address label isn't a publisher or a client, guess where it goes? Yup. The slush pile. Unopened. Unread.

The second reason it's stupid is that it sends the subliminal message that you think HOW something arrives is somehow more important that what it says. That means you're a nitwit. I try to avoid having nitwits for clients.

Don't do this.

11 Comments on Sending Queries by Fed Ex, last added: 3/5/2007
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14. If you get your eyes checked you'll notice you're not the only person in the world

Dear Miss Snark,

Because of a book she sold on a related theme, I queried an agent at a large firm (by email, pursuant to the firm's guidelines). She quickly replied, asking for the manuscript of my novel. I sent it immediately. Six months went by and I no longer had any expectations of this agent other than, maybe, some useful explanation as to why my book "wasn't for her." I emailed to check the status of my submission. Nothing. Three more months went by. I emailed again. Nothing. And then yesterday (nine and a half months after I sent my manuscript), I received this letter, not in my SASE:

"Thank you for sending me material for XXX. Unfortunately, you have come to us at a time when we are inundated with requests for assistance and representation. The need to allocate our time effectively forces us to decline participation in many worthy projects, and I regret that must be the decision in the case of XXX as well. I do appreciate your thinking of us, and wish you the best of luck with your book."

I don't believe this agent read my manuscript, although that's beside the point. I think she's merely "closing the book" on our interaction, just as I was trying to do by my email status query. But I am outraged by this agent's behavior. She didn't have to ask for my manuscript; she didn't even have to reply to my original query. But she did, and then she sat on the book for 9 months. There's neither an explanation nor an apology for the delay, and I think she at least owes me that, if not more.

The question is: when an agent requests a full manuscript from a writer, what is her obligation?



A decision. That's it. No explanation required.
If you think you're entitled to more than that, please do us all a favor and self publish.

31 Comments on If you get your eyes checked you'll notice you're not the only person in the world, last added: 3/5/2007
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15. Xclamation point

An agent's blog that I read regularly is going to be doing something similar to a crapometer (imitation is the best form of flattery, after all). This agent currently has one of my queries, but I have not yet received a response on it. Should I try get my hook into her crapometer and get suggestions on making it better? Or just wait and hope for something more than a form back from her on the paper query I already sent? On the one hand, I want her to know how seriously I take writing and that I would value her opinion; on the other, I fear looking like a clueless nitwit to an agent that I would quite seriously be willing to take a shot from the cluegun for.



You'd be an utter nitwit to miss a chance to have her look at your hook. Any kind of feedback from her is worth its weight in gold. She's smart, she sells a lot, and she's not snarky about her critiques. There's no down side.

Get cracking. Polish that hook. Don't be a nitwit.

1 Comments on Xclamation point, last added: 3/2/2007
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16. Nitwit assistants

Let's say:
You're a writer, and you're represented by a small established agency.
The agency's lone assistant (in his late 20s) is posting on a personal page not using his own real name, but does reference the agency’s name.
Some of the assistant’s postings could be taken as bespeaking a macho, not terribly enlightened attitude to women: links to "adult" sites, etc.
The personal page comes up pretty easily in a search engine – under the agency’s name. I doubt anybody else in the agency knows this is the case. The assistant may not even know it.
A lot of people in publishing are women. Will the assistant's lack of discretion hurt the agency, or its clients, or him?



no.
No one in the industry spends much time reading myspace pages by assistants.
He'll get the message soon enough, but no one is going to think less of you for his idiocy.

14 Comments on Nitwit assistants, last added: 2/28/2007
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17. Avoiding idiot agents

Dear Miss Snark,

You recently wrote "The other agent was an idiot (which I could have told him)..."

It seems to me the idiot quotient in most careers is fairly high (thirty-five percent feels about right), and I wouldn't expect literary agents as a profession to deviate dramatically from the norm.

But how the hell are first-time writers supposed to know who qualifies?

I know enough to check for prior sales, but I'm sure idiot agents make deals from time to time. You know, for less than they might have otherwise gotten, or maybe after wasting a lot of time due to poor organizational skills. But again, we wouldn't know that. All we see are the sales that further legitimize the idiots.

So here's an idea: Hows about you post (right next to the Writers Beware Ten Worst Agents list) your nominees for the Ten Biggest Idiots? Disgruntled and former clients can weigh in with their idiot-agent horror stories.

I'm sure somewhere among your two million or so hits there's a lawyer who's trying to become Grisham who would be happy to defend you once the lawsuits fly.

Or (I'm trying to be reasonable here), hows about you just email me with your list and I'll keep the whole thing quiet?




In this case, the idiocy was pretty much a matter of public record. A search of P&E would have turned up a big red flag of warning.

As to the greater question let's be clear: all of us are idiots at one time or another. There are days I'm sure I'd lead your list. Hopefully not many, hopefully fewer than most, but trust me, we'd all be on the list at one time or another.

That's why you talk to clients of an agent who's made you an offer and you don't sign with someone just cause they did offer.

A nitwit list isn't going to save you. You've got to be your own Encyclopedia Brown.

5 Comments on Avoiding idiot agents, last added: 2/26/2007
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