By: Gerald Hawksley,
on 1/28/2013
Otto here again!
Piddles the Penguin has rocketed to the Number One spot in Kindle Store , Books , Fiction , Children's Fiction , Literature , Humourous (Free books, that is) on Amazon.co.uk.
By: Gerald Hawksley,
on 1/25/2013
What ho! Otto here!
Here is my new bestselling work of children's literature!
It is about a penguin called Piddles who widdles everywhere.
"Brilliant!" I hear you say, wondering why no-one has penned such a tome before. That is why I am a Bestselling Author and International Poet and you are not. (Statistically speaking it is very unlikely another Bestselling Author and International Poet is reading this. But if you are actually a Bestselling Author and International Poet, I apologize.)
It will be free, of course, for a short period, purely out of the goodness of my heart, on Monday and Tuesday. Probably this coming Monday and Tuesday, the 28th and 29th of January. But as it is only 99 cents, or 77 pence, why not buy it anyway? You can always return it if you don't like it!
Click on this rather shakily drawn cover image to view the thing on Amazon.com, or click on the links underneath!
By: April Henry,
on 9/15/2008
The first time I ever did any book event was when I was asked to sign galleys of my first book, Circles of Confusion, at the Pacific Northwest Booksellers’ Association meeting which was being held a couple of hours drive from my house. This was ten years ago.
My husband let me borrow his precious car (which was old, but not as old as my car), but cautioned me just before I left that I had to keep an eye on the engine temperature. I immediately forgot this advice, especially since I soon had to pee. Every time I saw a freeway sign saying how many miles to Eugene, I would translate it into how many miles until I could pee. I was afraid of being late, so I didn’t pull into any rest areas. My first clue that something was wrong was when I started hearing a ticking sound coming from the engine. Then I realized I was rapidly slowing down, even though my foot was on the accelerator pedal. I pulled off the freeway, lifted the hood, and even to my untrained eye, something was seriously wrong.
I managed to arrange for a tow, using my husband’s cell phone, which came with a free service called “Mr. Rescue.” Mr. Rescue is based in Florida and doesn’t know the first thing about Oregon. The dispatcher wanted to know what town I was near. All I could tell her was that I remembered seeing a sign that said Eugene 38 miles, and thinking, good, in just 38 miles I can pee.
While I waited for the tow truck, with my legs crossed, I waved off all the people who tried to give me their cellphones. I had to pee so bad I seriously considering opening both doors on the passenger side and crouching between them.
When the tow truck driver finally came, he told me he had been awake since Thursday morning. This was Saturday afternoon. He looked like you might expect for a serious meth user. I went to wait for him in the cab of his truck. The dash was covered with stickers that said things like “Don’t hold my ears, I know what I’m doing” and “Ripe and ready to eat.” I tried to bond with him so that he would only rape me instead of rape me and dismember me.
The amazing thing is that I actually managed to make it to the signing after my husband picked me up in my car. And he never complained about his car, not once, even though it cost thousands of dollars to fix.
