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As we hastily posted from our phone last night, the AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON trailer was supposed to break next week during Agents of SHIELD, but last night leaked versions sprang up like bedbugs, unstoppable and immortal. Marvel Studios, being smarter than the average bear, just made a joke

Dammit, Hydra.

— Marvel Entertainment (@Marvel) October 22, 2014

and then OFFICIALLY RELEASED THE THING EARLY.

Poor Agents of SHIELD—can’t buy a break. (However I should point out that the show is FINALLY tying in lesser characters from the Marvel U, like Mockingbird, and should rebound just fine if they don’t mess it up.)

Rections to the trailer were swift, and as you read this there are probably 900 detailed frame by frame analyses of the thing. I’ve stolen the screen caps from all the other, better sites, but I must give Andrew Wheeler a shout out for noting the “shirtless, wet Thor”.

Anyway, here are some pics and thoughts, and ideas.

James Spader voices Ultron, the robot created by Tony Stark, and, wow he’s actually scary! This trailer has  a darker, Nolan-esque  feel to it, but sandwiched between some light heated outings Guardians and Ant-Man, it’s okay. The slowed down “I’ve got no strings to hold me up” song recalls the trailer for the very successful Maleficent, which also used a creepy version of a Disney classic to set up a sad, bad world.

As for what it means: Ultron is to Tony Stark as Pinocchio is to Gepetto, get it? Throughout the trailer we see Tony looking sad and other Avengers looking mad, so presumably everyone gets annoyed that Tony created this killer robot genius in the first place.  If one wishes to detect a trace of Joss Whedon in the idea of Ultron’s journey presented as a murderous, tragic take on the sturdy Pinocchio story, well go ahead. A nice solid dramatic spine is a nice thing in a superhero epic.

This is Tony Stark’s HULKBUSTER armor, as various leaks have shown the Hulkbuster fighting Donald Sterling. NO NO WHAT AM I SAYING, The Hulkbuster fights the Hulk! The internet went ape shit over the Hulkbuster. Because you see…

Mark Ruffalo’s Banner/Hulk looks to be pretty busted up in this one. As the only “Core” character without his own film series at this point, it’s time for The Hulk to get his due. Evidently he gets the feels over something, freaks out and in true Marvel Comics fashion, must be stopped by any means necessary.

Hey it’s Andy Serkis! The mocap madman did some of the acting for Ultron and gets to show his face as well…but as WHO WHO WHO? The internet has decided that he’s playing a supervillain named Klaw, and this has excited the internet because Klaw is the natural enemy of The Black Panther! And The Black Panther’s introduction into the MCu has been rumored for a long time.

This could be interesting because one of the MOST SHOCKING SHOTS IN THE TRAILER shows Captain America’s shield DESTROYED! Oh god, can someone called Stephen Colbert? IF this is not a dream, not a hoax, not an imaginary story (and I’m not convinced it isn’t) then maybe they have to go to Wakanda and get some vibranium to make a new shield? That’s the popular theory anyway.

Shirtless, wet, anguished Thor. Paging fanfic writers.

The trailer also shows the Black Widow looking jaunty on a motorcycle, Captain America looking grave, Hawkeye running around in the woods, and lots of rubble. Lots and lots of rubble.

Images are now leaking from the 'Avengers 2' trailer. Here's Ultron showing his good side, saving a helpless victim. pic.twitter.com/ttKrN6PQxg

— The Film Stage (@TheFilmStage) October 22, 2014

Finally, this was the greatest thing to come out of the Affair of the Early Avengers 2 Trailer. (That’s a still from CRASH, a movie in which Holly Hunter and James Spader play people who can only have sex at the scene of horrible auto accidents, in case you didn’t know.)

Anyway, that’s what caught MY eye. What did YOU think?