As the Amazon-Hachette debate has escalated this week, taking a notably funny turn on the Colbert Report, we’d like to share some funnier reflections on books and the purposes they serve. Here are a few selections from the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations, Fifth Edition.
“Book–what they make a movie out of for television”
–Leonard Louis Levinson 1904-74: Laurence J. Peter (ed) Quotations for our Time (1977)
“If you don’t find it in the Index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.”
–Anonymous: in Consumer’s Guide, Sears, Roebuck and Co. (1897); Donald E. Knuth Sorting and Searching (1973)
“Books and harlots have their quarrels in public.”
–Walter Benjamin 1892-1940 German philosopher and critic: One Way Street (1928)
“My desire is … that mine adversary had written a book.”
–Bible: Job
“The covers of this book are too far apart.”
–Ambrose Bierce 1842-c.1914 American writer; C.H. Grattam Bitter Bierce (1929)
“When the [Supreme] Court moved to Washington in 1800, it was provided with no books, which probably explains the high quality of early opinions.”
–Robert H. Jackson 1892-1954 American lawyer: The Supreme Court in the American System of Government (1955)
“One man is as good as another until he has written a book.”
–Benjamin Jowett 1817-93 English classicist: Evelyn Abbott and Lewis Campbell (eds.) Life and Letters of Benjamin Jowett (1897)
“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
–Dorothy Parker 1893-1967 American critic and humorist: R.E. Drennan Wit’s End (1973)
“A thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.”
–Mark Twain 1835-1910 American writer: Alex Ayres The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain (1987)
“An index is a great leveller.”
–George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950 Irish dramatist: G.N. Knight Indexing (1979); attributed, perhaps apocryphal
“Digressions, incontestably, are the sunshine;–they are the life, the soul of reading;–take them out of this book for instance,–you might as well take the book along with them.”
–Laurence Sterne 1713-68 English novelist: Tristram Shandy (1759-67)
“In every first novel the hero is the author as Christ or Faust.”
–Oscar Wilde 1854-1900 Irish dramatist and poet: attributed
Writer, broadcaster, and wit Gyles Brandreth has completely revised Ned Sherrin’s classic collection of wisecracks, one-liners, and anecdotes. With over 1,000 new quotations throughout the media, it’s easy to find hilarious quotes on subjects ranging from Argument to Diets, from Computers to the Weather. Add sparkle to your speeches and presentations, or just enjoy a good laugh in the company of Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Joan Rivers, Kathy Lette, Frankie Boyle, and friends. Gyles Brandreth is a high profile comedian, writer, reporter on The One Show and keen participant in radio and TV quiz shows.
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The post What is a book? (humour edition) appeared first on OUPblog.
In recent weeks, a trade dispute between Amazon and Hachette has been making headlines across the world. But discussion at our book-laden coffee tables and computer screens has not been limited to contract terms and inventory, but what books mean to us as publishers, booksellers, authors, and readers. So we thought this would be an excellent time to share some ideas on books from some of the greatest minds in our culture. Please share your personal thoughts in the comments below.
“A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.”
–Franz Kafka, 1883-1924, Czech novelist
“A good book is the precious life-blood of a master spirit.”
–John Milton, 1608-74, English poet
“Books can not be killed by fire. People die, but books never die. No man and no force can abolish memory … In this war, we know, books are weapons. And it is a part of your dedication always to make them weapons for man’s freedom.”
–Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1882-1945, American Democratic statesman, 32nd President of the US 1933-45, and husband of Eleanor Roosevelt, ‘Message to the Booksellers of America 6 May 1942, in Publishers Weekly 9 May 1942
“We tell ourselves stories in order to live.”
–Joan Didion, 1934-, American writer, The White Album (1979)
“Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered.”
–W.H. Auden, 1907-73, English poet
“Choose an author as you choose a friend.”
–Wentworth Dillon, Lord Roscommon, c. 1633-85, Irish poet and critic, Essay on Translated Verse (1684) l. 96
“No furniture is so charming as books.”
–Sydney Smith, 1771-1845, English essayist
“All books are either dreams or swords,
You can cut, or you can drug, with words.”
–Amy Lowell, 1874-1925, American poet, ‘Sword Blades and Poppy Seed’ (1914)
“Only connect! … Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height.”
–E.M. Forster, 1879-1970, English novelist, Howard’s End (1910), ch. 22
“A good book is the best of friends, the same to-day and for ever.”
–Martin Tupper, 1810-89, English writer
“Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested.”
–Francis Bacon, 1561-1626, English courtier
“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirates’ loot on Treasure Island.”
–Walt Disney, 1901-66, American film producer
“There is no book so bad that some good cannot be got out of it.”
–Pliny the Elder, AD 23-79, Roman senator
“I hate books; they only teach us to talk about things we know nothing about.”
–Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 1712-78, French philosopher
“All books are divisible into two classes, the books of the hour, and the books of all time.”
–John Ruskin, 1819-1900, English critic
Ever since the first edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations published over 70 years ago, this bestselling book has remained unrivalled in its coverage of quotations both past and present. Drawing on Oxford’s dictionary research program and unique language monitoring, over 700 new quotations have been added to this eighth edition from authors ranging from St Joan of Arc and Coco Chanel to Albrecht Durer and Thomas Jefferson.
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