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Recent years have brought recognition that sportsmen and women may have mental health needs that are just as important as their ‘physical’ health – and that may need to be addressed. Athletes are people too, subject to many of the same vulnerabilities as the rest of us. In addition to our everyday anxieties, the sports world contains a whole host of different stressors.

The post Olympian pressure appeared first on OUPblog.

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Imagine that you are going to buy a health care product. You see a highly attractive salesperson. What would be your reaction? Would you feel very happy? Would you spend more time interacting with the salesperson and be more likely to buy his/her products?

The post Consumer reactions to attractive service providers appeared first on OUPblog.

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I recently came across a remarkable book by Maya Van Wagenen called Popular. Maya, who is now 16 and in the 11th grade, kindly agreed to answer my questions (and quite eloquently) despite preparing for her SAT exam.

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They also show her the “magic two-way postal cards” so she can stay close to her grandparents by writing to them about things she’s proud of. The GoldStar Magic! Family Pen-Pal Kit, ™  including NoraLee’s Adventures on Planet Ifwee, two-way postal cards, gold stars, and a link to download the Ifwee song.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Kathleen Boucher has created a book dedicated to empower all children to dream big, share kindness, spread love and be happy. Using a conversational style that will have readers believing this book is just for them, she teaches children that they have the power to choose their own thoughts and that each thought has the power to become something.

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Barry Rudner has been an author/poet of self-esteem books for children for over thirty years, dealing with universal truths such as, reaching for your dreams, homelessness, undying friendships, disability awareness, always being yourself, autism awareness, hope and utter silliness. He firmly believes that we cannot educate our children unless they feel good about who they are; and ultimately, as they grow up, they will not feel good about themselves unless they educate themselves. Please feel free to visit us at our website at www.nickoftime.us.

Thank you for joining us today, Barry Rudner. Can you please start off by telling us a bit about yourself?

I am a product of an incredible education from my parents. My formal education was a double major in biology and religious studies. I thought I wanted to grow up to become a doctor, but I realized I wanted to grow up and try to answer questions in ways that science cannot. But it is this hybrid of both degrees that gives me a certain insight into the world of children’s literature. In other words, as a scientist, I know the grass is green because the chlorophyl absorbs all the wavelengths of light and reflects the green. But as a children’s author, it is so much more poetic to think that the grass is green because it envies where the children have stepped.

When did you first get bit by the writing bug?

I was in graduate school in the late ’70s trying to earn a Masters degree in neuroanatomy in the hopes of being admitted into medical school. I was at a friend’s house, and he had a room mate who was taking a children’s literature course. On the kitchen table was Shel Silversteins, The Giving Tree. That one moment completely changed the path of my life.I knew that I would spend the rest of my life chasing after what I consider to be the most linear thought ever committed to paper for children. I have been pursuing this goal ever since.

Why did you decide to write stories for children?

I started writing stories for children because I love the way they think. If I may be so bold to quote Robert Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy, “…and such things commonly please us best which are most strange and come from farthest off.” And that in essence is our children. Somehow, in their innocence they understand things that we do not even mean. They are living, breathing allegories. Children are that very thing that “comes from farthest off”.

Do you believe it is harder to write books for a younger audience?

I believe that my life would be much harder if I did not write for children. I believe I understand my audience as well as my craft. Children’s literature is no different than taking a felled tree and stripping it of its bark and limbs and whittling it down to the size of a toothpick; and, right when you think you are done you split it in half. That is children’s literature.

What is your favorite part of writing for young people?

My favorite part about writing for children, especially thirty-two page picture books is to teach them universal truths without ever dealing with what is real. By definition, that is a fairy tale.  Teaching them to reach for their dreams. Teaching them to be themselves. Teaching them to be aware of the less fortunate. The beauty of truth is that it is multi-cultural and I never have to deal with what is real: only with what is true.

Can you tell us what your latest book is all about?

The latest book is entitled, Silent Voice, and it is a modern day allegory about autism awareness: that the only ought in autism is that we ought not ever give up trying to find the cause and cure. The majority of the world population is not even aware of the pandemic nature of this disorder. But the book is not about finger pointing or blame. It is about educating those who are simply unaware.

What inspired you to write it?

Last year in March I was speaking to a dear friend, Nicole Albert, a licensed therapist, who approached me about writing a book about the lack of awareness of those children that fall under the spectrum of autism: worldwide one in eighty-eight suffer from this disorder. It is a staggering number when you consider the statistics. I simply felt that it needed to be addressed. After three months of researching, I started the process of rewriting.

Where can readers purchase a copy?

Silent Voice can be purchased online at our website at http://www.nickoftime.us in a variety of electronic formats as well as a hardcover version of the book. Our hope is that the book version will become a part of bookshelves everywhere.

What is up next for you?

For an author, even a barely-an-author-type like myself, all that matters is to rewrite a book that is worthier than the one that proceeded it.

Do you have anything else to add?

It took almost eleven years to become published. For anyone aspiring to become an author, do not take rejection personally. Take it as a complement. It means your work is being circulated. You are looking for that one editor who is searching for that very manuscript you have written. Case in point: I once met the editor at a symposium who rejected Richard Bach’s, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, because their was no mass market appeal for it. Need I say more.

Thank you for spending time with us today, Barry Rudner. We wish you much success.

 

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I am happy to be part of Barry Rudner's virtual book tour this month. To promote his book, SILENT VOICE, Barry is touring the blogosphere with The National Writing for Children Center. In this guest post, licensed psychotherapist Nicole L. Albert talks about Barry and his book. I hope you'll enjoy the post. Happy reading!

I am fortunate to be a long time friend of Barry Rudner. We met while vacationing in the Florida Keys more than two decades ago. It has been with enthusiasm and appreciation through the years that followed, to participate in his journey of children's literature. Each and every piece of his work, touched me in the deepest of ways. He addresses so many issues of what is typically never spoken aloud. With each piece of writing, he imparts messages of hope, each and every time, and attends to the struggle while opening the hearts of the reader.

I am a licensed board certified therapist and I work with children, adults and families struggling with a variety of life's issues. His writings touched a chord in me as I would think of people whose lives I came into contact with for a variety of reasons. I knew they would benefit from the insight and pure joy his books would provide.

A good proportion of my client base, are individuals with a wide array of Developmental Disabilities.

One day I called Barry to wish him a Happy Birthday - we exchanged some events of what we had both been doing of late, and I described to him some of the situations that I was challenged with, for individuals and families touched by Autism.

A couple weeks later, I received an email from him asking me to read something - the early drafts of Silent Voice. It was utterly staggering! He had accomplished to put into words, a world that many people know only too well and unfortunately way too few are aware of. Silent Voice was born, along with outstanding illustrations that completely depict the nature of this overwhelming and all consuming challenge.

I am so very proud, to have been part of this journey.


Title: Silent Voice
Genre: Children's fiction, Family
Author: Barry Rudner
Website: http://www.nickoftime.us
Publisher: Nick of Time Media, Inc.
Purchase link: http://www.nickoftime.us/hardcover-books.php

SUMMARY: A modern day allegory about autism awareness: that the only ought in autism is that we ought not ever give up. Ever.

Barry Rudner has been an author/poet of self-esteem books for children for over thirty years, dealing with universal truths such as, reaching for your dreams, homelessness, undying friendships, disability awareness, always being yourself, autism awareness, hope and utter silliness. He firmly believes that we cannot educate our children unless they feel good about who they are; and ultimately, as they grow up, they will not feel good about themselves unless they educate themselves.

Connect with Barry on the web:
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nick-of-Time-Media/507826792667344
Twitter: https://twitter.com/NickOfTimeMedia
Google+: https://plus.google.com/107827469685021155032/posts 

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But, I'm a Writer 

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By Susan David

We humans are funny. Often we create beliefs or engage in behaviors that seem to help us in the short term, only to discover they get in the way of the lives we really want to live, or the people we want to become.

Allow me to share the story of my friend, Erin. Over lunch one day, she told both her mentor and me about a division director job she had truly wanted. The role offered good challenges, the chance to develop her skills, fabulous travel, and unparalleled flexibility. It would have been “a dream come true”.

But then Erin began to recite a litany of reasons why she hadn’t gone after the job. She wasn’t good in interviews, having never received the coaching that so many candidates are privy to these days. She was overweight, which would surely make a poor impression. On top of all this, due to the economic downturn, many people more qualified than she would apply. She thought she’d be great at the job if she could have made it beyond the interview, but all things considered, she “knew” she hadn’t stood a chance.

“So I never applied,” she told us. “Instead, I sent the advertisement to a peer and encouraged him to interview.” She paused. “He got the job.”

How was it that this bright, hardworking, lovely young woman also had such an aptitude for self-sabotage?

There are plenty of smart, even gifted, people like Erin. They are bonded by a common behavior psychologists call “self-handicapping,” which involves anticipating a real or imagined obstacle that might get in the way of success, and using that obstacle as an excuse.

Self-handicapping allows us to protect ourselves from the pain of assuming responsibility for our failures, and people do it all the time. In a groundbreaking 1978 study, psychologists Berglas and Jones found that participants who “succeeded” at a test (that was really just luck-based) were more likely to choose to take a performance-inhibiting drug before taking a second test. In other words, they actively set themselves up for failure on the second try. By doing this, they could blame their subsequent poor performance on the drug, and also protect their earlier feeling of success.

In a more recent set of experiments conducted by psychologist Sean McCrea at the University of Konstanz in Germany, participants were asked to take several intelligence tests under a variety of conditions. The research showed that people who were encouraged to make excuses for their poor performance — blaming poor performance on loud noises, for example — maintained high self-esteem, but were also less motivated to improve.

This kind of behavior is often so subtle and habitual that we don’t notice we’re doing it. Think about the manager who has to give a big presentation and fails to practice ahead of the event, or people who procrastinate on work projects and wind up “not having enough time” to do a good job. In a 2010 HBR article, Jeffrey Pfeffer identified self-handicapping as one of three major barriers to building professional power: people avoid the pain of failure by never trying to build power in the first place.

What can you do to overcome self-handicapping? Here are four steps:

1. Watch for the warning signs. Drawing down your efforts, generating lists of excuses, or distracting yourself (music, alcohol, etc.) are signs that you’re engaging in self-handicapping. Everyone needs to take breaks and manage energy during the work day, but these activities can be clues that you are veering onto the trail of self-sabotage. A mentor or colleague can often help steer you back on course.
2. Use “what-ifs” and “if-onlys” to help you generate goals instead of excuses. Research shows that the thinking people engage in during self-handicapping can just as easily be flipped to be motivational. When you ponder what could have gone better, or recognize obstacles in your way, you generate valuable information. Identify factors within your control, and see what you can do about them. Erin, for example, could have responded to the thought “I’m not great in interviews” by researching the right skills, practicing them, and requesting support from her mentor.
3. Recognize and manage your negative emotions. Research shows that when we use our “if-onlys” to motivate rather than excuse ourselves, we will also likely experience negative emotions, such as disappointment and self-directed anger . If you can notice these emotions and be kind to yourself in working through them, you’re more likely to be able to move into positive, empowering behavior.
4. Go for mastery. Self-handicapping is most likely to kick in when we are trying to perform well in order to avoid negative feedback from external sources, such as criticism from colleagues. When we focus instead on developing mastery in a domain we care about, we tap into our inherent motivation to learn and grow. Recognize what matters to you, and brainstorm ideas to get yourself moving in that direction.

Going for what you really want takes considerable courage. Let’s face it, even when you put forth your best effort, things don’t always turn out as you would like. But by taking a risk you open yourself not only to the possibility of failure, but also the possibility of learning, growth, and real attainment. It’s up to you to decide which is more perilous: the risk of disappointment, or the risk of never reaching your potential.

Reprinted with permission from Harvard Business Reveiw.  This blog was originally published here.

Susan David is co-editor of the Oxford Handbook of Happiness (due out in January 2013) with Ilona Boniwell and Amanda Conley Ayers. Susan is is a founder and co-director of the Harvard/McLean Institute of Coaching and a member of the Harvard faculty. She is also the director of Evidence Based Psychology, a leadership development organization and management consultancy.

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The post New year’s resolution: don’t sabotage yourself appeared first on OUPblog.

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IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

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Otter and Odder: A Love Story
by James Howe
illustrated by Chris Raschka
Candlewick Press, 2012
review copy provided by the publisher

What happens when you fall in love with someone you're not supposed to fall in love with...say, your food source, for instance, if you're an otter and you fall in love with a fish? All the rest of the pond-dwellers will gossip about you, and your families will pressure you to make a more natural choice. But hopefully, there will be a wise beaver in your life, who suggests you try eating apples and bark, instead of fish. And suddenly, with that one shift in perspective, your true love is no longer your food source, and you can live happily ever after, and 100% true to yourself.






Big Mean Mike
by Michelle Knudsen
illustrated by Scott Magoon
Candlewick Press, 2012
review copy provided by the publisher

What happens if you're the biggest, meanest dog on the block, and these cute fluffy bunnies start showing up, no matter what you do to discourage them? At some point, you need to admit to yourself that you love your fluffy bunnies and you need to stand up to any of the other dogs on the street who want to make fun of you because of your friends. Being true to yourself also means being true to your friends.






Zephyr Takes Flight
by Steve Light
Candlewick Press, 2012
review copy provided by the publisher

What if your passion gets you in trouble when you fly it into the china cabinet, and you're sent to your room? Don't stop dreaming there, because your story might turn out to be a bit like Max's and you can go to place where pigs DO fly, and YOU fly, and your passion comes to life, and when you get back home, your dad is calling you to come eat your pancakes. Be true to your dreams for as long as it takes to make them come true.






Oliver
by Birgitta Sif
Candlewick Press, 2012
review copy provided by the publisher

What if you feel a bit different from everyone else? What if you like to play alone, and create new worlds for you and your toy friends? If you are happy alone, be happy alone. But if, when you're playing tennis alone and your ball bounces to another person who is playing tennis alone, be open to a new beginning and a new friend. Be who you must be, but don't be afraid to change.

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Sky Color
by Peter H. Reynolds
Candlewick Press, 2012
review copy provided by the publisher

Remember Marisol, in Ish? She helped Ramon believe in his art. Now she's the one with the problem. She has volunteered to paint the sky in her class' mural for the library...but there's no blue paint.

After she studies the sky from the bus window, as the sun goes down, and the next morning when it's raining, she realizes that BLUE is only one of many possible colors for the sky.


Coming tomorrow in Self Esteem Week: Be Who You Must Be

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Zero
by Kathryn Otoshi
KO Kids Books, 2010

Zero feels empty. She doesn't think she counts, like the other numbers. Seven encourages her to remember, "It's what's inside that counts most," and "Be open. You'll find a way."

Zero realizes that she can bring value to the other numbers when she counts WITH them by leading the way before 1, 2, and 3, but also in combination with them to make all kinds of bigger numbers than they could make on their own.

When Zero is open to her true value, she feels whole, rather than empty.

Come back tomorrow for more picture books that build self-esteem!

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One
by Kathryn Otoshi
KO Kids Books, 2008

Blue is a little blue because Red picks on him. But along comes One, with a new message for the colors: Everyone counts!

Next time Red comes along, Blue stands up for himself and doesn't let Red roll over him. All the colors (now numbers) take a stand and tell red, "NO."

Blue is pretty special. As Red is rolling away, small and defeated, Blue calls out, "Can Red be hot...AND Blue be cool?" And One chimes in "Red can count, too."

ONE is a simple book with a big message: "Sometimes it just takes One."

I'm not sure how I missed this book 4 years ago, but I was glad to spot it at NCTE at the Books for Children Luncheon. I didn't sit at Kathryn Otoshi's table, but this title was one of my first purchases when I got home!

All this week, I'll be featuring books to build self-esteem.

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Re-posted with permission from Desiree Glaze of WeeShare:

I love bread.  In fact, my entire family enjoys eating bread.  Did you know that this is National Bread Month?  I am pretty sure this calls for a celebration– let’s all go eat some bread!

The great thing about bread is that it and other grain foods actually provide many essential nutrients our bodies need to stay healthy and help fight diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, some cancers and birth defects.  I try to choose breads and even cereals that use whole grains, as whole grains are a great source of complex carbs and fiber and they are naturally low in fat.  Enriched grains are a great option as well because not only do they contain complex carbs, but they are also one of the major sources for iron and folic acid in our diets.

The key to maximizing your health and your energy is to take a look at everything that is on your plate.  Balance is essential.  The Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommend eating six one ounce servings of grain foods each day.  This can come in the form of buns, sandwich bread, tortillas, bagels, crackers, and a variety of other grain foods.

One really easy way to incorporate grains into your diet is with a sandwich.  You can add some meat, fresh veggies, and cheese, and suddenly you’ve got an entree that is packed with ingredients from many of the food groups!
2012 actually marks the 250th Anniversary of the Sandwich! America’s love affair with the sandwich dates back to England in 1762 when Sir John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich, didn’t want to put his cards down in the midst of a marathon game of poker, so requested his meat be served to him between two slices of bread. A fabulous new “food form” was born – and our passion for sandwiches continues to this day. With Americans consuming over a billion sandwiches a year – for breakfast, lunch and dinner – sandwiches may in fact be our most popular national dish.

Why does it seems that we love sandwiches so much?  Well…

• Sandwiches are one of the easiest, most versatile and convenient ways to make a healthy meal for individuals or families.
• Bread is the most important ingredient in making a healthy and delicious sandwich; it is the foundation of a great meal any time of day.
• The complex carbohydrates in bread and other grain-based foods provide lasting energy the human body needs on a daily basis.

Sandwiches are definitely a part of my family’s life.  Growing up, I remember frequently taking peanut butter sandwiches in my lunch to school.  Now, I highly prefer a BLT.  I know that some people like mayo on their BLT’s, but I stick with lightly toasted bread, crispy bacon, tomato {preferably with a touch of salt}, and some iceberg lettuce.  My little vegetarian daughter prefers her sandwiches with bread and a slice of Muenster cheese.  My husband likes to pile his up with a variety of meats and cheeses as well as tomato, lettuce, and a variety of other toppings.
We eat sandwiches whenever we’re spending the day outdoors hiking, kayaking, or at the park.  Nothing beats a family picnic in the beautiful sunshine.  We’ve also been known to enjoy sandwiches at home for lunch or even as a light dinner.  Sandwiches truly are versatile.

Since it’s National Bread Month and the 250th Anniversary of the Sandwich, the Grain Foods Foundation has teamed up with celebrity chef Bryan Voltaggio to share four exclusive sandwich recipes.

Chef Voltaggio has been around food virtually his entire life.  He grew up in an agricultural community where he tended the garden and baled hay right alongside his family.  After attending the Culinary Institute of America, Chef Voltaggio worked alongside many other famous chefs both here and abroad.  Now, he is getting ready to open his third restaurant, which will be located in Washington DC.
You can view all four recipes that Chef Voltaggio created for the Grain Foods Foundation by visiting their website.  However, I wanted to highlight one of them– the Avocado CLT.  Just looking at this sandwich makes my mouth water.  Perhaps that’s what I get for viewing recipes when I’m hungry!  This sandwich features whole grain bread as well as tasty ingredients like avocado, cucumber and tomato.  There are also directions to whip up a goat cheese mousse and spread to use on the sandwich.

So, this month as we all celebrate National Bread Month and the 250th Anniversary of the Sandwich, I’d love to know… what’s YOUR favorite sandwich to eat?

Disclosure:  I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour for Mom Central Consulting on behalf of the Grain Foods Foundation. I received a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

 

 

 

Flashlight Press responds: Carla would make these recipes and eat the results. They’re all favorites!

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The people have spoken, and we’re excited to see many of our favorite acts and programs (among the 2012 People’s Choice Award nominees! “Harry Potter” leads the way with nine nods, and Katy Perry and “Glee” are also top contenders. In... Read the rest of this post

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In our last Bur Bur and Friends multicultural children books blog post, we quoted Abraham Lincoln in his insightful and wise words, “Everyone is born an original but sadly most people die a copy. Expanding appreciation for children and diversity through the multicultural friends within our iParenting Media Award and Parent Choice Award winning books, [...]

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“Everyone is born an original but sadly most people die a copy.” ~ Abraham Lincoln   It’s unfortunate that the uniquely wonderful aspects of ourselves – that one-of-a-kind mix of talents, strengths and personality traits that make up the vibrantly beautiful colors of who we are – often becomes dulled over time as the strokes [...]

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I’ve often wondered why so many of the public figures in our society say “I take full responsibility for this problem.” These public figures may be congressmen, evangelests, actors, businessmen, and the list goes on. Their actions may be to abuse power, steal funds, or take part in unacceptable, and sometimes perverse, sexual behavior. Currently the inspectors of the nuclear plants in Japan admitted they haven’t done it right for years. The air traffic controller at the Reagan National Airport fell asleep, leaving two incoming planes to fend for themselves. Luckily no one was hurt. Where was the FAA in all of this? They haven’t taken “full responsibility” for the incident either, except to say there will be a “full investigation.” The controller has been fired, but we haven’t heard a word out of him.

I wonder why no one has ever come out and said, “I’m sorry.” It must be that saying I’m sorry means that you admit you have done something wrong. It implies that you must feel some guilt about what you have done. It makes you look bad. In Japan you will “lose face.” But if you say, “I take full responsibility for this catastrophe or problem,” it implies that the problem may have been caused by some other person, perhaps an employee, a spouse (for a failed marriage), an adolescent (whom you haven’t monitered closely,) a neighbor, a colleague, anyone else other than yourself.

I have always thought saying I’m sorry showed strength of character. It shows a person is confident enough in himself to admit to others his mistakes and feels he can overcome the problem and still be accepted. Perhaps I feel so strongly about the importance of saying, “I’m sorry” because my father never, ever in his whole life admitted he was wrong or had made a mistake about anything. That is, not until he was ninety-seven years old and was caught red handed in a mistake he’d made. I am so glad that happened. I can now remember him better for all the positive characteristics he had, and they were many.

Filed under: Becoming Alice, Identity, Personalities Tagged: Guilt, Personalities, self confidence, self-esteem, strength of character 0 Comments on Saying I’m Sorry as of 3/25/2011 1:31:00 PM