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Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: Scenes from Life: a short playette, Most Recent at Top [Help]
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1. Scenes from Life: a Short Playette THE CHERRY PICKER



SCENES FROM LIFE:  A SHORT PLAYETTE
THE CHERRY PICKER
by Eleanor Tylbor
 

SCENE:   PRODUCE DEPT. OF SUPERMARKET. PEOPLE ARE GATHERED AROUND A DISPLAY OF CHERRIES

AT RISE: A WOMAN APPROACHES THE CHERRY DISPLAY, STOPS AND STUDIES THE PEOPLE GATHERED AROUND

 

FEMALE SHOPPER

Excuse me…um…can I get in here?

 (people ignore her)

 
(cont’d).  FEMALE SHOPPER

Excuse me, people…could you make space for me?

 (people continue to ignore her)

 
(cont’d.)  FEMALE SHOPPER

Hello? Earth to cherry pickers! An outsider would like to join you all!

 
(FEMALE SHOPPER moves her shopping cart forward and gently runs into someone)

 
CHERRY PICKER 1

Ouch! That hurt!

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

I tried asking politely to get close to the counter but everyone seemed deaf to my request, so I had to take things in my own hands or with my shopping cart as the case may be

 
CHERRY PICKER 1

You could have tapped me on the shoulder, y’know

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

Would it have made any difference?

 
CHERRY PICKER 1

Probably not but you could have tried

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

Good price for cherries. Guess that’s why there’s so many people hanging out here. Hmmmm…where are the plastic bags. ‘Anybody tell me where the plastic bags are?’ Anyone want to give an opinion?

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

(mouth full of cherries and oozing juice)

…are…none…left… Have to…ask…manager for…more…bags

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

Are those cherries you have in your mouth?

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

…uh-huh…

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

Would it be presumptuous of me to assume you didn’t pay for them?

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

…hav’ta taste them, first…

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

You do realize that in some circles that would be considered stealing

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

Everybody does it

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

And that makes it right? What are you doing! Did you just spit out that cherry pit back into the display?

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

Yeah…I mean, I didn’t wanna dirty the floor or anything. Somebody could slip and hurt themselves. Anyway, everybody does it

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

But…your saliva has germs, which you are depositing on the cherries

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

What else am I supposed to do with the pits?

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

You could refrain from tasting the cherries or at the very least put them in your pocket and take them home with you or something

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

Everyone else is doing it. Check out the display

 
(FEMALE SHOPPER looks down at the display of cherries)

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

Oh Gawd! |You’re right! To think I was about to put my hand inside there

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

You’re in luck. Here comes the produce manager with a roll of new plastic bags

 
PRODUCE MANAGER

‘Okay everyone -  move aside! I’m gonna clean up all the cherry pits at the bottom! Not healthy.’

 
CHERRY PICKER 2

Aren’t you going to take a bag for cherries?

 
FEMALE SHOPPER

Somehow I’ve lost my taste for them. There’s a sale on strawberries on the other counter, if only I can get near it…

0 Comments on Scenes from Life: a Short Playette THE CHERRY PICKER as of 7/4/2014 9:43:00 AM
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2. Scenes from Life: a Short Play-ette. Miley and the Walmart Ladies:

MILEY AND THE WALMART LADIES


Sometimes, a playwright is privy to a conversation that just begs to be written. Okay. Perhaps begs is too strong but this was over-heard while standing in line in Walmart (no less) waiting to pay for some items. It went something like this.

SCENE: WALMART. Long line up of people waiting to pay.

THE CAST:

SALLY (60-ish female)
FLO (80-ish female) and mother of SALLY

SALLY
Lot of people today, mom. We're gonna have to wait a bit

FLO
People always seem to shop at Walmart when it rains. I wonder  why

SALLY
Nothing better to do, I guess

FLO
Uh-huh...maybe...

(SALLY's attention is on the magazines located in the check-out aisle. She shakes her head)

SALLY
Sad...really sad

FLO
What?

SALLY
Miley Cyrus

FLO
Who?

SALLY
Miley Cyrus

(SALLY points to photo of Miley Cyrus on magazine cover)

SALLY
You know Miley Cyrus...

FLO
Who?

SALLY
The singer?

FLO
Name sounds familiar...

SALLY
Remember she used to be in Disney movies? Such a sweet thing she was. Sad...

FLO
Is she dead?

SALLY
No - but if she doesn't change her life style, she could be

FLO
Oh...

SALLY
She was in the hospital, y'know

FLO
She sick I suppose?

SALLY
Yeah...could say that. The girl exposes herself

FLO
She's not wearing a lot of clothes. Perhaps she susceptible to colds

SALLY
I read somewhere that she has a heart murmur

FLO
Didn't know that. My friend, Phyllis has heart problems - so does Arthur... They take a lot of pills, especially the pink one's with a heart on it? Everyone I know takes them.

SALLY
Says here she was hospitalized for an allergic reaction to antibiotics. She probably over-dosed on drugs and they're just saying that to cover up

FLO
Arthur over-dosed on water pills. Couldn't stop peeing. Hadda go to the doctor. I told him, 'Arthur! Just put in a plug.' He didn't like my suggestion. Good. We're next in line

SALLY
Such a good girl, she was. Wonder what makes a girl like her suddenly do all that sexy stuff?

FLO
M-o-n-e-y!

SALLY
Her dad was Billy Ray Cyrus. Remember him? Achy-breaky heart guy?

FLO
They play that when we do line dancing at the Seniors Center. Lots of steps to remember but nobody cares when someone forgets, unless of course they trip somebody. Last week Sam forgot what direction he was supposed to go and Phyllis ended up with a sprained ankle.

SALLY
Oh well...hope Miley sees the light and gets normal again...

(replaces magazine back on stand)

FLO
Aren't you gonna buy the magazine?

SALLY
Neh. I finished it waiting to pay for our stuff. Poor Miley...

FLO
Whatever...

0 Comments on Scenes from Life: a Short Play-ette. Miley and the Walmart Ladies: as of 4/26/2014 5:09:00 PM
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3.

SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
PLAYING IN THE POOL

SCENE: A SWIMMING POOL FILLED HALF WAY WITH FEMALES

INSTRUCTOR
We have a lot of people in the pool so spread out and give each other room

AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT (AFI)
Sorry - didn't mean to bump into you

AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT II (AFII)
No problem. Not much room to move around. Maybe some of us should go in the deeper water

AFI
Not me! I swim like a rock. Don't wanna be a headline in tomorrow's paper. "Woman drowns in deep end of pool during aqua fitness."

AFII
We're like sardines here!

AFI
Don't let me stop you from moving out further

AFII
Um...I'll just stay here

INSTRUCTOR
(jumping in water
Okay ladies - it's time to rock

AF1
(looking around)
Rock, huh... Okay...let's rock. Should we snap our fingers, too?

AFII
You don't have to do anything with your fingers. It's all in the leg movement

AFI
Actually that was a joke - obviously a weak one. You know...rock'n'roll music... Snap your fingers?

INSTRUCTOR
'Okay - left jog...center jog...right jog. Now cross-country moving forward...now backward...'

AFI
Don't know about you but I'm having trouble moving backwards while cross-country-ing facing the right...

AFII
Do what you can

AFI
I can't see her legs. Can you see her legs?

AFII
You don't have to see her what she's doing. Just follow her instructions

AFI
Maybe it's me but I have to see in addition to hear. Why doesn't she do exercise outside the pool on the deck?

(female climbs stairs to leave pool)

INSTRUCTOR
(smiling)
'Hey - where you going? This class ain't over!'

EXITING LADY
I have an appointment...

INSTRUCTOR
'That's what they all say! You're gonna miss a lot!'

(everyone laughs)

AFI
Like...that is soooo embarrassing! I mean, maybe she really did have an appointment

AFII
Oh she's just kidding! She always acts like that1

AFI
I dunno...

INSTRUCTOR
'Okay now we're gonna work on our upper thighs...'

AFI
Maybe it's me but I can't for the life of me figure out what she means

(turning to person on other side)

(Cont'd.) Do you mind if I watch your feet? I mean, I don't want you to think I'm a pervert or anything. I just can't follow the instructor

(woman ignores her)

(Cont'd) Ohmygawd - I'm exhausted. Maybe I should stop here...don't wanna tire myself out or anything... Yup. That's what I'm gonna do...

(Aside to AFII): 'Nice aqua-ing with you. Maybe we'll aqua fit together again'

(AFI starts to climb pool stairs)

INSTRUCTOR
Hey - you there! You're leaving me too? They all leave me in the end

(everyone laughs)

AFI
(to herself)
Maybe there's a reason for that...

INSTRUCTOR
Did you say something?

AFI
Look - I have to pee. We have a choice here. If I stay as you want me to and continue exercising, you can use your imagination as to what might or could happen. So now you make the choice. Do I stay or go?

INSTRUCTOR
Don't let us stop you

AFI
Thought you'd see it my way. 'Bye all. Remember to always keep your head above water'

AFI exits

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