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SCENES FROM LIFE: A SHORT PLAYETTE
PLAYING IN THE POOL

SCENE: A SWIMMING POOL FILLED HALF WAY WITH FEMALES

INSTRUCTOR
We have a lot of people in the pool so spread out and give each other room

AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT (AFI)
Sorry - didn't mean to bump into you

AQUA FITNESS PARTICIPANT II (AFII)
No problem. Not much room to move around. Maybe some of us should go in the deeper water

AFI
Not me! I swim like a rock. Don't wanna be a headline in tomorrow's paper. "Woman drowns in deep end of pool during aqua fitness."

AFII
We're like sardines here!

AFI
Don't let me stop you from moving out further

AFII
Um...I'll just stay here

INSTRUCTOR
(jumping in water
Okay ladies - it's time to rock

AF1
(looking around)
Rock, huh... Okay...let's rock. Should we snap our fingers, too?

AFII
You don't have to do anything with your fingers. It's all in the leg movement

AFI
Actually that was a joke - obviously a weak one. You know...rock'n'roll music... Snap your fingers?

INSTRUCTOR
'Okay - left jog...center jog...right jog. Now cross-country moving forward...now backward...'

AFI
Don't know about you but I'm having trouble moving backwards while cross-country-ing facing the right...

AFII
Do what you can

AFI
I can't see her legs. Can you see her legs?

AFII
You don't have to see her what she's doing. Just follow her instructions

AFI
Maybe it's me but I have to see in addition to hear. Why doesn't she do exercise outside the pool on the deck?

(female climbs stairs to leave pool)

INSTRUCTOR
(smiling)
'Hey - where you going? This class ain't over!'

EXITING LADY
I have an appointment...

INSTRUCTOR
'That's what they all say! You're gonna miss a lot!'

(everyone laughs)

AFI
Like...that is soooo embarrassing! I mean, maybe she really did have an appointment

AFII
Oh she's just kidding! She always acts like that1

AFI
I dunno...

INSTRUCTOR
'Okay now we're gonna work on our upper thighs...'

AFI
Maybe it's me but I can't for the life of me figure out what she means

(turning to person on other side)

(Cont'd.) Do you mind if I watch your feet? I mean, I don't want you to think I'm a pervert or anything. I just can't follow the instructor

(woman ignores her)

(Cont'd) Ohmygawd - I'm exhausted. Maybe I should stop here...don't wanna tire myself out or anything... Yup. That's what I'm gonna do...

(Aside to AFII): 'Nice aqua-ing with you. Maybe we'll aqua fit together again'

(AFI starts to climb pool stairs)

INSTRUCTOR
Hey - you there! You're leaving me too? They all leave me in the end

(everyone laughs)

AFI
(to herself)
Maybe there's a reason for that...

INSTRUCTOR
Did you say something?

AFI
Look - I have to pee. We have a choice here. If I stay as you want me to and continue exercising, you can use your imagination as to what might or could happen. So now you make the choice. Do I stay or go?

INSTRUCTOR
Don't let us stop you

AFI
Thought you'd see it my way. 'Bye all. Remember to always keep your head above water'

AFI exits

Phase two of my holidays is goin' exactly as planned. =D

The week has been awesome and busy and fun. The hubby had a blast on a camping trip with his bro, and I spent time with my amazin' daughter and some really great friends.

My daughter and I always have so much fun together, she's as crazy as I am. We spent one day mall shopping, visiting the best store on the planet; 'Teaopia' - we spent as much time in there as we did in the rest of the mall!

The next day was a museum day at the Manitoba Museum, Planetarium and Science Gallery.

In the MB Museum we hung out in a bat cave; played eye-spy in exhibits; swam with the tall ship Nonsuch; got freaked out in the creepy town when we realized we were the only people left in the museum cuz it was after hours and closing (you do NOT wanna get locked-in overnight in a museum!). (O_o) Just sayin'.

We saw a Beatles laser show at the Planetarium - a first for both of us. Good tunes, dry ice and dancing lights - awesome!

The science gallery is filled with these crazy cool things like an anti-gravity machine, a meteorite you can touch, pulley chairs, sound wave dishes, you can even build lil Kinex cars and race them! So much fun!

I spent the next day at Starbucks with my friend Sammy, catching up and talkin' shop (writin' stuff). =) She is one smart lady and a fantastic writer. She always gets me psyched to write.

Yesterday, I went poolside with my buddy Valerie and my daughter. Nothin' like hours of warm weather, great conversation and yummy goodies. Valerie has even begun to write! You go girl!

I'm still on holidays until Tuesday and I plan to make the most outta every minute! Woot woot!

For my writing exercise, I woke up yesterday morning with this first line, 'I am trapped by the darkness of my soul', running thru my head and it inspired the following poem:

I'm so going to have to do a comic about swimming pools at some point. Yesterday evening I tried out a new pool, and, true to every other pool experience I've had, the pool had to break me in to how to use it and the whole thing was a series of small disasters. I used to swim in Peckham until they shut down the pool because it was leaking, and every time I went, I'd come home to Stuart with the craziest stories of things that had happened there. Pools are such weird places. More to follow, I'm sure...



Heh heh, the duplicates look like a Mel Brooks movie.

Barbara Forrest was educated in Louisiana public schools and is professor of philosophy at Southeastern Louisiana University. She was one the six experts witnesses for the plaintiffs in the first lawsuit filed over intelligent design creationism, Kitzmiller v. Dover Area School District. Her book, Creationism’s Trojan Horse: The Wedge of Intelligent Design, which she co-authored wih Paul R. Gross, is a carefully documented expose of the intelligent design movement. In the article below she reflects on her role since the publication of the book.

When Paul Gross and I wrote Creationism’s Trojan Horse: The Wedge of Intelligent Design, we fully expected that someone with a child in a public school somewhere in the United States would eventually file a legal complaint to stop the teaching of intelligent design (ID) creationism. We had no idea, however, in January 2004, when our book first came out, that a legal case was already brewing in tiny Dover, Pennsylvania. In December 2004, Kitzmiller et al. v. Dover Area School District was filed in the Middle District of Pennsylvania by eleven parents who objected to the Dover school board’s attempt to inject ID into the local high school’s science curriculum. (more…)

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Ah, the wonders of summer: beautiful weather, outside BBQ, and nice cold beers by the pool. Can it get any better than this? On the contrary, it can actually get worse. How, you may ask? How about being viciously attacked by tiny mosquito’s all night long. Who can relax when you are on a mission to kill these little blood sucking flies.

Don’t even bother covering up or spray those commercial promising mosquito repellents. No matter what you do, they will get you.

So, if you are the sweet kind, excuse yourself and gracefully head on home. At least there you know you won’t be on the edge of your seat, waiting for your next attack. 

Ah, the wonders of summer: beautiful weather, outside BBQ, and nice cold beers by the pool. Can it get any better than this? On the contrary, it can actually get worse. How, you may ask? How about being viciously attacked by tiny mosquito’s all night long. Who can relax when you are on a mission to kill these little blood sucking flies.

Don’t even bother covering up or spray those commercial promising mosquito repellents. No matter what you do, they will get you.

So, if you are the sweet kind, excuse yourself and gracefully head on home. At least there you know you won’t be on the edge of your seat, waiting for your next attack.