In honor of Remembrance Day or Memorial Day or whatever and however its remembered, the first eight pages of yet anther rewrite of "Old Soldiers." I'm adapting parts of it from other versions to make it into what I hope to be, a new play. As always, comments always welcome - and appreciated.
OLD SOLDIERS
by Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: A PUB/BAR. MID-MORNING
AT RISE: JOE MCKENNA, DRESSED IN FULL UNIFORM, SITS AT A TABLE, READING A NEWSPAPER WHILE WAITING FOR HIS BUDDIES TO ARRIVE. A SMALL BAR WITH A DOZEN TABLES FILL THE ROOM WITH BACKGROUND MUSIC SUPPLIED BY AN OLD JUKE BOX. B/W PHOTOS OF PEOPLE COVER THE WALL
JOE
(to himself)
Yup…yup…yup… The way things are going, won’t be long before we’re all gone. Poor old, Percy. Died alone without anyone there to see him on his way to the battlefield in the sky. ‘Here’s to you, Perce! You’ll be missed’
Lifts glass in the air and lowers it
‘Set em up again, Vince’
JOE’S FRIEND, MIKE, DRESSED IN UNIFORM
COMPLETE WITH STRIPES AND MEDAL, ENTERS THE
ROOM AND JOINS HIM AT THE TABLE
MIKE
Damn cold out there. Wind cuts like a knife. I see you got a head start. Buying us a round?
JOE
You just got here and already trying to mooch a free drink?
MIKE
When it comes to mooching, you got that covered and then some. When’s the last time you paid?
JOE
(pretends to take out imaginary book)
Let me check in my diary here…last Wednesday at three in the afternoon. Do you wanna buy or not
MIKE
Not
JOE
You are a cheap bastard! I’m stuck with the bill, again. ‘Vince – two whiskeys’ See you’re in full regalia.
MIKE
If I don’t wear it today, when will I wear it? Take it out once a year. The rest of the time it’s stored away in the back of the cupboard. Pee-ew! What’s that stink?
JOE
Threw in a dozen or so moth balls when I store the uniform
MIKE
At least put it out to air a couple days before you wear it. It really stinks
VINCE, the bartender, brings over drinks
VINCE
One of you guys forget to wash?
MIKE
Joe here uses moth balls for his uniform
VINCE
No insult intended but you’re stinking up the bar. Wouldn’t hurt to go out and air yourself off a bit. Here are your drinks, guys. Who’s paying, he asked hopefully?
MIKE
He is
JOE
Put it on my tab, Vince. The man’s as cheap as they come. You’d think for a special occasion he’d spring for a round but that would be asking too much for an old friend, who’s always short on cash
VINCE
Whoever – one of you pay cash for a change. Need I remind you that your tab goes back a year now. Let’s see here…you owe me $2500.34. I’m feeling generous today so drop the thirty-four cents and make an even $2500
JOE
You’re all heart. Where d’ya expect me to find that kind of money on my service pension?
VINCE
Oh please. At least give me something towards it. Anything! I have bills to pay, too, y’know
JOE
Okay. Next cheque I’ll give you a couple of bucks. May have to give up some food items and my dog will have to get used to eating a few days a week…
VINCE
(walking away)
Why don’t you lay on the guilt a bit more. You guys…honestly…
JOE
Mac’s supposed to meet us here
MIKE
Seriously? The man doesn’t drive and uses a walker. How’s he getting here?
JOE
I dunno but he wants to join us for Percy’s funeral, too
MIKE
Amazing. Never lets his condition stop him from doing anything. Sometimes I wonder how he gets around but he does. Mind over matter I guess. It’s either that or give up and die. Mind you, sometimes when pain takes over, it don’t seem so bad
JOE
He just walked in. Poor guy can hardly move. ‘Here Mac!’
MIKE
The man’s 87. None of us are peppy anymore, in case you hadn’t noticed. My glass is empty by the way
JOE
Yeah and? I bought last time
MIKE
So what. You owed me
JOE
It’s your turn, el cheapo! Maybe you can convince Mac to buy you a round
MAC
(gasping for breath)
Really…windy out… there – and cold. Hope the wind… drops for later. Damn hard to get around in this kind of weather, ‘specially with a walker. What times the funeral, anyway?
MIKE
You really planning to attend, Mac? Not trying to discourage you or anything but it’ll be hard pushing your walker on grass and that wind…
MAC
I’ll manage. Old Percy is one of the last few members of our group. He deserves our respect and would do the same for any of us. Can’t believe he’s gone… Really cold and windy today
JOE
You look like an ice cube and your hands are turned blue. Why didn’t you wear gloves? How’d you get here, anyway?
MAC
By bus. Took me forty-five minutes if you don’t count standing at the bus stop waiting for it to arrive for twenty minutes. Damn busses never stick to their schedule
JOE
Why didn’t you take a cab?
MAC
You gotta be kidding. Like I can afford a cab? I’m here so stop jabbering and order me something to warm me up
MAC
Gonna be freezing at the cemetery for sure. Who knows if anyone else will show up
MIKE
We don’t get to choose the kind of weather t’get buried. It’s called for noon
JOE
Whad’ya having, Mac?
MIKE
You’re buying hima drink? What about me?
JOE
He just got here. The man needs to warm up
MIKE
Say what? What does that have to do with anything? Remember I’m your old army pal who stayed with you in thick and thin?
JOE
I paid you back a long time ago. What’s your poison, Mac? Whiskey like always?
MAC
Neh. Hot coffee will do me fine
JOE
With a shot of whiskey t’give it flavor, right?
MAC
Plain, old coffee with milk and sugar
JOE
Straight coffee? That’s it?
MIKE
This is new. Since when?
MAC
Can’t a person have a coffee without getting the third degree?
JOE
No problem-o. Just weird especially since you’ve been a scotch man since way back when
MAC
Look – if it bothers you that much, I’ll just go back home and…
MIKE
If you want plain coffee – you got it. ‘Straight coffee for Mac, Vince!’
JOE
Whatever…I suppose you’re not taking sugar, either? On a diet, are we? If you eat any less, you’ll fade away altogether
MAC
There comes a time when a body starts telling a person no more liquor. I’m at that point
MIKE
The last thing you need to do is go on a diet. You dropped more than a few pounds, lately. You eating right?
JOE
Well he ain’t eating fillit mignown on our pension! Seriously, though, Mike’s right. You’re looking real thin these days
MAC
I didn’t come here to discuss my eating habits. Can we drop this discussion? So who’s going to the funeral, anyway?
VINCE brings MAC a coffee
VINCE
I put the cream and sugar on the side since I don’t know how you take it. First time you ordered a coffee
MAC
Is there anyone here who hasn’t got an opinion about me drinking a lousy coffee? Maybe coming here was a mistake after all
JOE
Sor-ry. We didn’t mean to rile you up. You drink as much coffee as you want. Anyway, my body tells me I need a refill
VINCE
And this will be paid for by…
JOE
We’ll let you know
VINCE
Been there – heard that
JOE
Did I ever say I wasn’t gonna pay? Did I? Don’t forget we’re sick, old soldiers on a small pension who helped keep this country free so that you could own this bar, and this is our only outing. Do you wanna take that away from us, too?
LUKE
Don’t try lay on the guilt. I got bills to pay
MAC
Liquor don’t agree with me, anymore. Been havin’ a lot of heart burn lately. Wakes me up in the middle of the night and my legs get so numb I can hardly make it to the bathroom on time
MIKE
Not the first time you complained about heart burn Maybe see a doctor? Could be something serious
JOE
He’s been carping about his pains as long as I can remember. Ain’t that true, Mac? Am I right?
MIKE
Look who’s talking! You’re like a walking medical dictionary. Every day you come in whining about something else
JOE
Is it my fault I got bad pains left over from the war? Don’t forget my knees were smashed to the point where snails move faster than me and meegrainsso painful I can barely see
MIKE
Yeah-yeah. We all have pains but keep it to ourselves
JOE
Thank you, so-called good buddy. I can always count on you not to be sympathetic. By the way – my glass is empty
MIKE
Whad’ya want from me? So tell Vince to fill it
JOE
Who’s paying?
MIKE
In your dreams, buddy-boy! Don’t even think about it
MAC
Body feels like one gigantic ache. Forgotten what it’s like not to feel pain, anymore…
JOE
0 Comments on OLD SOLDIERS - first eight pages of play re-write as of 1/1/1900
Sometimes, when all the stars are in alignment and conditions are right, a play writes itself. This was the case with "Retribution" and it seems it's repeating itself in my latest project, "Storm Warning." I'm toying with the idea of possibly making it a dinner theatre piece but will wait for a final decision, depending on how the story progresses. Comments both pro and con always welcome. More characters are added in later scenes.
SCENE: Interior of a train. LEONARD WILSON stares out of the train window, his eyes transfixed on the sky. Sitting next to him is, GRANT SCOTT, another passenger, who is absorbed in reading a book.
LEONARD WILSON – NERVOUS PASSENGER
GRANT SCOTT – WEATHER PERSON, KMJO TV
MARY WILLIAMS – SENIOR WITH AN AGENDA
LINDA STEVENS – REPORTER, TODAY’S NEWS MEDIA
LEONARD
(softly to himself)
Snow sky. Just what I need
GRANT
Sorry?
LEONARD
I was talking to myself that it looks like snow
GRANT
It's February. Gotta expect the white stuff
LEONARD
They called for sun - not snow. Then again , they have an accuracy rate of maybe 25%
GRANT
Actually...statistically, they get it right 50% of the time
LEONARD
Maybe but never when you need an accurate forecast
GRANT
People think that we have an inside track with the big guy upstairs. We interpret changing weather systems and fronts. Even then, Mother Nature likes to play tricks on us
LEONARD
By "we" does that mean you're one of them?
GRANT
If you mean do I predict the weather, I work for KMJO. Does that mean we stop talking to each other, now?
(GRANT laughs)
LEONARD
So I’m sitting next to a media personality?
GRANT
Nobody ever called me that but I'll take it
LEONARD
Are you on-camera? I mean, would I recognize you?
GRANT
If you watch the weather at the end of our news and sports broadcast, my face might strike a familiar chord
LEONARD
So...like...how'd you end up doing this? Did you go to weather college or something? Wind is picking up. Not good…not good…
GRANT
Relax, pal. Ain’t nothing you can do about it. I have a degree in meteorology. As a kid, I was fascinated how heat and cold affect people and animals. Went tornado hunting when I got older and almost got swept away by one. There’s something about the rawness of nature – you know…the unpredictibility… that has always interested me. Anyway, now I'm the official excuse for not going into work on snow days or cancelling picnics when it rains. You'd be surprised how many nasty phone calls we get when we're wrong. People take their weather predictions very seriously.
LEONARD
(staring out of the window looking up at the sky)
Your guess would be snow?
GRANT
Most likely. Don't take this the wrong way but you seem very tense about the possibility of a storm on the way. Guess you have an important appointment
LEONARD
(distracted)
Uh-huh...
GRANT
Wouldn’t worry too much. We're travelling by train. Never heard of a train getting stuck in a snow storm, at least not in these parts
LEONARD
But I am. Snow could cause a delay and I can’t afford that
GRANT
You might as well take it easyand enjoy the trip. Worrying doesn’t make things go any faster. A teacher once told me that
LEONARD
Look - don't wanna be rude but I don't feel like talking anymore
GRANT
No problem-o. Got’cha loud and clear. It’s my media background that makes me gabby. I'll go back to reading my book
(silence for a few minutes)
(Cont'd. GRANT)
Really looks like we're in for some kind of bad weather for sure
GRANT
Shoot! Really don't need this!
LEONARD
Sorry. I'm blabbering again, aren't I? Not one more word will come out of my mouth
GRANT
...hadn't counted on snow... Changes things...
LEONARD
Look. You're working yourself up for nothing. It's gonna snow whether you like it or want it. The worst that can happen is that we'll arrive late. I'm Grant by the way and you are...
GRANT
Pissed off. Like I told you, not in a talking mood
(GRANT pulls at his shirt collar and wipes his forehead with the back of his hand)
LEONARD
Really man - you're gonna give yourself a heart attack if you keep on like that. I was only trying to pass the time
GRANT
Who cares! I gotta get out’ta here
(GRANT stands up and pushes his way past LEONARD and storms down the train aisle
An elderly woman, MARY, seated in the seat on opposite side of the aisle, watches and listens to their conversation)
MARY
Hostile, isn't he?
LEONARD
(stretching the upper part of his body, watching GRANT disappear)
You better believe it!
MARY
You were only trying to make small talk
LEONARD
Obviously picked the wrong person to sit next to
MARY
Rude too! Some people have no manners
LEONARD
Never mind manners. How about plain, old civility
MARY
Did I hear you say you're a weatherman on TV? Am I sitting next to a gen-u-ine celebrity?
LEONARD
(laughing)
Wouldn't go as far as to call myself a celebrity but I do forecasts on TV
MARY
I'm a weather forecaster too, y'know!
LEONARD
You don't say. Which station?
MARY
Not a fancy prognosticator like you, of course, but when my legs ache, it's a sure sign there's gonna be something
(MARY rubs her knees)
LEONARD
And is it gonna snow?
MARY
Major snow I would say by all the pain I’m feeling. Mr. Crazy Man there is gonna freak out for sure
LEONARD
The guy’s obviously got somewhere to be. Tough luck. Mother Nature has other ideas
MARY
You know what they say: y’can’t mess around with mother nature! I’m Mary, by the way. Darn! Dropped a stitch. Now I’m going to have to unravel this and try to pick it up. Oh well. Lots of time to do it
LEONARD
Leonard.... Leonard Wilson. My friends call me Lenny. The people that watch me call me a lot of other not-so-nice names when we make mistakes on the forecast. That’s a lot of scarf you’re making there
MARY
People have such high expectation of each other these days. No room for errors or leniency. You make one mistake and… Listen to me go on. There. Found it. Not a scarf. An afghan. It’s a cover for a bed
LEONARD
You travelling alone? There I go being nosy again. That’s what I get from working in the media. How about the two of us continuing our conversation over a coffee?
(Conductor interrupts their conversation)
CONDUCTOR
‘Scuse me...sorry folks but I'm going to have to ask you not to leave your seats
MARY
(staring out of the window)
It’s starting to snow. I really hope we’re not delayed…have to be somewhere by tonight. People are waiting to meet me at the other end. Delay is not acceptable at all…not at all… Why do we have to stay seated, by the way?
CONDUCTOR (INTERRUPTING)
They’re calling for a major snow fall but this has nothing to do with the weather
LEONARD
Don't tell, me, the state police have come aboard looking for bank robbers....
MARY
…or an axe murderer …
CONDUCTOR
(nervous)
Pesky mechanical problems is all.
LEONARD
Sorry but I don’t get why we have to stay put. How does our moving around affect repairing the train?
CONDUCTOR
We need to stop over in Timmersville for a spell to get a part. Not sure how long it’s gonna take. What with a storm on its way, it would be better if you don’t wander around
LEONARD
Say what? You expect us to sit here for who knows how many hours while a spare train part is found? Ridiculous! We’re not planning to leave the train or anything
(starts to get up)
(Leonard cont’d)
I need to stretch my legs
MARY
Me too…these old legs can’t stay in one position for long
CONDUCTOR
(blocking them leaving)
Can’t let you do that
LEONARD
Let us pass, please. You have no right to stop us
CONDUCTOR
No can do
LEONARD
Why not?
CONDUCTOR
Look – they told me to do this and that’s what I’m doing
LEONARD
They would be, who?
MARY
You better level with us if you want us to stay put
CONDUCTOR
For your own safety, don’t ask questions
