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As many of you know, I am currently on a
book blog tour with WOW for my memoir,
White Elephants. To be honest, I was extremely nervous in the days leading up to the tour. By the time the actual day came, I was so nervous I could hardly concentrate on anything else.
What kept me from losing it were my four beautiful kids, turning to my writing and the amazing charity I've connected closely to in the last couple of years.
For those of us who have written memoirs with heavier subject matter, the writing process is actually the easy part (if you can use that word with writing such books). What was difficult, at least for me, was the long editing process. Every round of new edits meant I had to re-read and experience those painful moments again. I found that so much more difficult because the writing process was drawing the feelings out and putting them somewhere safe other than in my mind and body. Editing meant that I not only had to go back to the words over and over again until they flowed they way they should, it also meant I had to relive each scene. Some days, and some scenes, it was tougher than I could bear.
But I had two things that gave me strength not to fall all the way down: a very supportive editing team over at Silver Boomer Books, who all gave me many cyber hugs, love and courage; and a charity that reminded me why I started on this journey in the first place.
By now, many of you know that I work very closely with a local charity called,
Zebra Center. They are a Child Protection Center that helps children who have been abused or otherwise victimized get back on the paths they were meant to be on. I actually 'discovered' Zebra Center during my writing process. I spent alot of time talking and emailing with the CEO, Barbara. In fact, it was my talks with her and learning about what these amazing people do for these kids---who aren't so different from where I was so long ago---that gave me the final spark of courage I needed to get my story out there. Now it wasn't just for
me that I was telling my story; it was for these kids (and others the Center hasn't found yet) who aren't able to tell theirs.
After
White Elephants finally came out, I had a panic attack. "Oh my GOD!" I thought. "Now everyone is going to know what happened!" I felt like I was walking around naked. I was so terrified and emotionally stretched, I didn't have the energy to market the book. Then I finally got to visit the Center and everything changed.
When I walked around that place seeing the hand-drawn pictures from kids they've helped (or touched) framed up on the wall; when I felt the safety, love and sanctity in that place; when I not only heard but saw the passion Barbara and her team had for what they're doing; and when I got to see "Hope's Closet" up close, a soothing calm blanketed me. It was as though in that moment I just knew everything I was doing mattered. And that's what I draw from to keep going forward.
We have such an amazing opportunity to touch people with our writing. And when you can find that special charity or cause that you can connect your books or writing with, it makes it even more special. Some of us write about some very tough stuff, especially those of us in journalism or
& book giveaway contest!Once in a while comes a book so encompassing of experience it holds the potential to touch each person’s heart. WOW’s own Chynna Laird has written such a book; today we are very proud to share with you
White Elephants, a memoir.
White Elephant is a term used to describe a difficult issue people would rather overlook or ignore. Chynna’s family had a very large elephant devouring their very foundation and the only person willing to name it was a small girl named Tami who stood her ground against the charging pachyderm.
The heart of this raging beast is a mother thrown out of control by bipolar disorder and alcoholic binges. Despite loving relatives and friends, the children find themselves alone in a world of pain and confusion. Where others may have crumbled, Tami raised herself up.
As an adult Tami took on her first name, Chynna; this is her remarkable story of abuse, survival, and triumphant recovery.
White Elephants will touch your heart. Within these pages you might see your own story, or that of a neighbor or your best friend.
Chynna couldn't help her mother, but she would consider it worth everything if her family's story helped another. That said, writing a memoir and promoting that memoir are two very separate experiences. It takes a strong soul to reveal what, for many of us, still lies in the closet. We feel honored to launch
White Elephants on The Muffin today.
Paperback: 280 pages
Publisher: Eagle Wings Press (February 1, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0982624328
ISBN-13: 978-0982624326
Twitter Hashtag: #WhtElephts
White Elephants is available in paperback at
Barnes & Noble and both paperback and Kindle at
Amazon. A portion of every book sale goes to
Zebra Child Protection Centre.
Read a chapter here (PDF): http://eaglewingspress.com/embed-whele.pdfDid you know… April is: Alcohol Awareness Month, National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and Sexual Assault Awareness Month?
Check it out!
White Elephants is #1 on Goodreads
Best Books On Recovering From Childhood TraumaBook Giveaway Contest: If you would like to win a copy of
White Elephants, please leave a comment at the end of this post to be entered in the random drawing. The giveaway contest closes this
Thursday, April 19 at 11:59 PM PST. For an extra entry, link to this post on Twitter with the hashtag
#WhtElephts, then come back and leave us a link to your tweet. We will
announce the winner the following day--Friday, April 20. Good luck!
21 Comments on Chynna Laird, author of White Elephants, launches her book tour, last added: 4/19/2012
Well,
Mari McCarthy has done it again. In the newest book in her journaling series,
WHO Are You? 7 Days Self-Discovery Journaling Challenge, she gives writers the perfect head-start to writing, journaling, or just discovering who we are beneath the surface.
She starts by sharing us the aim of her book which is to answer questions we often avoid answering such as, "What kind of person am I?" and "What are my dreams and fears?" or even "Where have I been and where am I going?" The only rule Mari has is that we need to go through each of the seven days consecutively, doing all the exercises. Other than that, there is no right or wrong.
Each chapter is set up with an introduction to the chapter's theme, a couple of exercises then tips on how to 'Focus on YOU'. She even gives you a few sample sentences to prompt your creative juices. Each chapter leads into the next, which is why Mari stresses the importance of doing them in order.
The chapter I found most difficult to tackle was Day 5: Courage. You'd think that a person who has two memoirs under her belt would have no trouble writing about things like why I avoid the truth or why I think I shortchange myself or what I'm afraid of. But it was both terrifying and refreshing to complete this section. "Courage can be found in the folds of your beliefs," Mari says. "What do you believe?" It was tough to start but as I wrote, I felt myself opening up.
I won't ruin the joy of this book for you, but I will say I think every writer out there should pick up a copy. It helps get the words out using the art of free-flow writing--that's where you're writing without thinking or trying to be perfect (which many of us writers tend to do). It's all about learning about our inner selves and bringing that into our writing.
I sure wish I'd had Mari there with me when I was trying to get the words out for my memoir
White Elephants. Initially, I had so much trouble bringing the words--the
right words--out. Without even knowing Mari, I used the very same tactics to help me calm down, work through the anger and tell the story the way it should be told.
Thank you, Mari, for sharing yet another helpful tool to keep our writing strong and keeping our words flowing freely. And, as you always say:
WriteON!-----
Writers, join Mari's next 7 day journaling challenge, February 20-26, here:
http://www.createwritenow.com/Who-Are-You-Challenge-Sign-Up/-----
As many of you know, I've written two memoirs (so far!). One is about the painful early years in trying to figure out how to help my daughter, Jaimie (Not Just Spirited: A Mom's Sensational Journey With SPD). The other is about my childhood being raised by a mother with untreated bipolar disorder and alcoholism (White Elephants). Even though I'm narrating these stories, they aren't only my stories to tell. What I mean is, there are others directly or indirectly involved in the telling of the stories---and some of them aren't excited with me sharing them. Sound familiar all you memoir and personal story writers out there?
I didn't find as much of that when Not Just Spirited came out but very much so with White Elephants. In fact, I was actually advised by many people to create a fictional version of the story so that it would be more...'warmly accepted'. I've never been afraid to talk about things that may seem taboo to others but after the story came out, I panicked.
What would my family and friends in the book think?
This is actually a very common thing that many writers face, not just those of us writing memoirs addressing serious issues. Alot of people really don't like their business out there for the world to read whether the story is fun, happy, terrifying, goofy or serious. And one of the most popular questions I'm asked in interviews is, "What did/does ______ think of what you wrote?" I guess I just deal with that because certain stories need to be told a specific way. That doesn't mean I disregarded what so-and-so would think of what I'd written but more remembering that I could still tell my story while being respectful of so-and-so's feelings. We're talked about this several times in recent issues of WOW as well as here on The Muffin but let's talk about the three different ways you can share a story:
(1) Fictional: As I mentioned above this was how I was told to write White Elephants. Here you'd simply tell your story through fictional characters. This is the 'safest' way to tell a personal story because you can hide behind the characters you create, altering the setting, location and other things that would make it recognizable to those involved (or at least veil it so they won't feel threatened).
(2) 'Based on a True Story': Hollywood tells stories this way all of the time. The story or events are true but names, characters, location, etc. have been changed so it's standing on the fence between 'fiction' and 'real'. Again, this helps veil certain things (or people) but you can actually say the story (or events) really happened...to someone.
(3) Memoir: This is the route I went. You tell the story. The whole naked truth with all the people, events and/or issues invovled--the good, bad and ugly. This is the most difficult for others involved with your story because you're naming names. There are things you can do, though, to make it a bit easier:
- Talk to those involved. Tell them you're writing this story and ask how they'd feel. Some people won't care, others may not want to be involved. For those who don't want to be involved, try working around that
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21 Comments on Chynna Laird, author of White Elephants, launches her book tour, last added: 4/19/2012
Chynna---Just about everybody has something horrendous happen to them, or they love someone/know someone who is a survivor of something awful.
YOU have nothing to be embarrassed about (although I'm sure you already know this). You lived to tell the tale, and in telling, help others survive.
Thank you, Sioux. <3
I'm very impressed and inspired by your courage. I think that secreting away the horrors of our past only gives them more power to control us. I can't imagine the pain you went through in reliving these experiences, but you will make a difference for others, and hopefully feel a healing in yourself through your writing.
Once again, you amaze me. Thank you for sharing the charity with us and the amazing work they do, too.
@Kelley: You are so right that secreting things away gives them more power. And it can make you very unhealthy. Writing is a fantastic way to work through things. I've always turned to it. =)
@ Margo: Aww...you are so sweet. <3 I am most inspired by everyday people who do extraordinary things. The people at Zebra are definitely doing amazing things.
I give to a group in El Salvador that funds education of disadvantaged children with every book I sell (http://ckbookspublishing.com). 100% of what I give goes to help the kids!
It's just the right thing to do!
Good luck with the Zebra Center!