My new designed book - shipped in time for Valentine's Day

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Green Lotus is is a round 1″ in diameter glass ring.

The ring band is bronze and it’s attached firmly to the base of the glass pendant. It’s sturdy, adjustable and can fit on small to medium sized fingers.

I make all of my jewelry by hand.

This ring is not waterproof. Please do not wear while swimming or taking a shower.

Comes in a cute little organza bag.

 

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Little Hottie Pink & Cute Monster is a round 1″ in diameter glass ring with a white background. He is a cute hot pink monster with devil horns and a pointy tail. He is both adorable and a little bit mischievous.

The ring band is silver and it’s attached firmly to the base of the glass pendant. It’s sturdy, adjustable and can fit on small to medium sized fingers.

I make all of my jewelry by hand.

This ring is not waterproof. Please do not wear while swimming or taking a shower.

Comes in a cute little organza bag.

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Satire for the Nu.nl news website, about the Dutch gymnast Yuri van Gelder who turned out to have used cocaine again, after a previous scandal.

You're invited to sevensheaven.nl for an extended impression.

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It has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and committing acts of murder. A widespread investigation of funeral homes, morgues, and hospitals has concluded that the unburied dead have been returning to life and seeking human victims. It's hard for us here to be reporting this to you, but it does seem to be a fact.^[1]

Derek Ring is an illustrator with a passion for the undead, ghouls, zombies, mermaids, devils, frankensteins, draculas, robots, and sea monsters, girls in bikinis fighting sea monsters, comic books, ghost stories…you probably get the picture.

Whenever an artist has a passion for a specific type of subject matter it really shows. Derek’s passion is clearly displayed in his creepy but very cool illustrations of ghosts, mutants, miscreants and other creatures of the night.

It has been rumored that Derek Ring creates his illustrations using a mixture of embalming fluid, human bone marrow and goat’s blood in the dungeon of a dark castle high atop a hill somewhere in the New England region of the northeastern United States – exact location unknown.

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With this ring I thee wed… and now I expect…

To never have to do the dishes again

To never need to cook a meal again

To have my meal given to me when I come in, regardless of time and yes I will complain if it isn’t ready or is ruined

To allow the pets to lick clean the plates I can’t be bothered to move off the floor

To let mould grow in my old coffee mugs

To leave my laundry around the house and have you clear it up

To not have to figure out how the washing machine works

To not have to learn how to use an iron

To expect you to have a full time job and do all the housework

To not have to tidy up – that’s YOUR job

To not have to lift a finger around the house – unless I want to

To go out with my mates on a drinking binge and not tell you when I am coming home

To forget birthdays and anniversaries

To think a bunch of garage flowers is a sufficient apology

To spend ages talking about how great my car is and not notice your new hairdo or clothes

To think “facebooking” is a good way to communicate with you

To have a better relationship with my computer and blackberry than you

To know more about my online buddies than you

To expect hugs, cuddles and *** when I want it

To expect you to look after the kids and deal with discipline

To sit in my underpants all weekend if I want to

To spread out across the bed and have all the duvet if I want

To snore all night and refuse to use the spare room

To stay in bed for as long as I want

To drink beer in front of the TV and watch sports

To fart in bed, heck to fart anywhere!

To let myself go – I don’t need the gym body any more

Well heck darlin’ what do you expect??? I married ya didn’t I…!

Yes my darling you did but after all that… here’s the number of my divorce lawyer!

Image via Wikipedia

 

Image via Wikipedia

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Sheryl McFarlane is today’s guest on Book Bites for Kids, LIVE at blogtalkradio.com.

Listen to the show LIVE, or download the recorded show from the archives HERE.

Visit Sheryl’s website for more information about her books and other great resources for teachers, kids, and parents.

author interview, blogtalkradio, Book Bites for Kids, Sheryl McFarlane, The Smell of Paint, YA Fiction

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Listen to Book Bites for Kids every weekday afternoon at 2:00 CST on blogtalkradio.com.

We have an exciting lineup of guest authors this week.

Today, Monday, October 15th, Kari-Lynn Winters, author of a darling new picture book from Orca Publishing called Jeffrey and Sloth will be out guest.

On Tuesday, October 16th, Lorijo Metz will be our guest to talk about her new picture book, Floridus Bloom and the Planet of Gloom.

On Wednesday, October 17th, YA novelist Sheryl McFarlane will join us to discuss her new novel, The Smell of Paint.

Sheri Sinykin will guest on Thursday, October 18th, to talk about her new book, Giving Up the Ghost.

On Friday, tune in to listen to the creator of The Eye Patch Kids DVD and puppets.

Listen to the show online at blogtalkradio.com or call in and ask a question or make a comment at 1-646-716-9239.

author interviews, blogtalkradio, Book Bites for Kids, Floridus Bloom and the Planet of Gloom, Giving Up the Ghost, Jeffrey and Sloth, The Eye Patch Kids, The Smell of Paint

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