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KUDO’S:

BETH FERRY’s PIRATE’S PERFECT PET, in which a captain, who considers himself practically perfect in every way, decides that he’s just missing one thing — the perfect pet — and goes on a wild search to hunt that pet down, was sold to Mary Lee Donovan at Candlewick, by Elena Mechlin at Pippin Properties.

INDUSTRY NEWS:

Emily van Beek has been promoted senior vice president at Folio Jr., the children’s division of Folio Literary Management.

Joe Perez has joined the Random House Publishing Group as senior art director. Previously he was art director at Portfolio.

At Atheneum, Emma Ledbetter has been promoted to assistant editor.

Christina Pulles moves up to assistant editor at Simon & Schuster Children’s.

Congratulations everyone!

Remember that the deadline is May 22nd to submit a first page to win a critique with MELISSA FAULNER, Editorial Assistant, ABRAMS Books for Young Readers and Amulet.

Last week Melissa answered a few questions. Here they are, again:

1. This is the first time we have had someone from Abrams BFYR. Could you share what makes Abrams different from other publishers?

Abrams is a smaller, boutique publishing house, so we’re able to provide a level of personal attention to authors and illustrators that a lot of larger houses aren’t able to achieve. Because of our size, we don’t really have a “mid-list.” Abrams’ is also deeply rooted in design and art having begun as an art book publisher, so there is a strong visual sensibility to every book we publish.

2. Do the editors at Abrams work as a team or do they chose books independently?

While editors do acquire books individually, we very much work as a team on projects. We have weekly editorial meetings where we discuss potential acquisitions with the entire department before taking them to an acquisitions board meeting. It’s also not unusual for editors to ask other editors to read manuscripts or look over covers just to get a second opinion, or to bounce around ideas.

3. Does Abrams try to stick to a certain ratio or PB, MG, YA, Fiction, and non-fiction with each catalog?

We generally try to have as balanced a list as possible for each season (we have two a year). We’ve always had a very strong non-fiction publishing program in both our Books for Young Readers and Amulet imprints, which is really great since so many publishers are now looking to acquire more non-fiction.

4. What is the ratio of debut authors to published author on your list?

It’s generally a fairly even split, though some seasons it may weigh more heavily in one direction or the other. We’re equally enthusiastic about bringing new talent to Abrams as we are about developing and nurturing our house authors.

5. The industry has been changing quite rapidly, do you think the mid-list authors are finding it harder to stay on the list?

I think at a lot of larger houses, authors are finding that they have to be a stronger advocate for themselves. Most aspiring authors know it’s essential to have built a strong platform before their book has been acquired, but it’s also essential to maintain that engagement and build even after their book has published. It can be daunting, but today, authors are fortunate to have so many avenues of engagement to pursue.

May’s submission deadline will be May 22nd, due to the Memorial Day.

Below is this month’s picture prompt for those of you who like them. This illustration is by Maria Bogade. She was featured on Illustrator Saturday on Feb. 9th 2013 and I missed showing off this illustration. Thought it might provide some inspiration for a story. You do not have to use it. Feel free to submit a first page from a work in progress.

WRITERS Sending in a First Page: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “May First Page Critique” or “May First Page Picture Prompt Critique” in the subject line. Make sure you have your name on the submission, a title, and indicate the genre. Also let me know if you were able to post of facebook or Tweet. You will get your name in the basket for each time you comment, tweet, or mention on facebook, giving you a better chance of being picked. If you end up doing more things to get additional entries, then e-mail me a note by May 20th. The four chosen and their critiques will be posted on May 31st.

Call for illustrations for May: Thank you to everyone who sent in an illustration for April. There are a couple that I didn’t get up. I promise I will use them in the days to come.

You can send anything, but I am especially looking for illustrations that reflect the month. I hope you will send something for May. This is a good way to get your work seen. Don’t wait, I will post the illustrations as they come in. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “May Illustration” in the subject box.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

MELISSA FAULNER, Editorial Assistant, ABRAMS Books for Young Readers and Amulet has agreed to share her expertise with us and critique the four winning first pages for us in May.

Melissa was kind enough to answer a few questions I thought you might be interested in reading. Here they are:

1. This is the first time we have had someone from Abrams BFYR. Could you share what makes Abrams different from other publishers?

Abrams is a smaller, boutique publishing house, so we’re able to provide a level of personal attention to authors and illustrators that a lot of larger houses aren’t able to achieve. Because of our size, we don’t really have a “mid-list.” Abrams’ is also deeply rooted in design and art having begun as an art book publisher, so there is a strong visual sensibility to every book we publish.

2. Do the editors at Abrams work as a team or do they chose books independently?

While editors do acquire books individually, we very much work as a team on projects. We have weekly editorial meetings where we discuss potential acquisitions with the entire department before taking them to an acquisitions board meeting. It’s also not unusual for editors to ask other editors to read manuscripts or look over covers just to get a second opinion, or to bounce around ideas.

3. Does Abrams try to stick to a certain ratio or PB, MG, YA, Fiction, and non-fiction with each catalog?

We generally try to have as balanced a list as possible for each season (we have two a year). We’ve always had a very strong non-fiction publishing program in both our Books for Young Readers and Amulet imprints, which is really great since so many publishers are now looking to acquire more non-fiction.

4. What is the ratio of debut authors to published author on your list?

It’s generally a fairly even split, though some seasons it may weigh more heavily in one direction or the other. We’re equally enthusiastic about bringing new talent to Abrams as we are about developing and nurturing our house authors.

5. The industry has been changing quite rapidly, do you think the mid-list authors are finding it harder to stay on the list?

I think at a lot of larger houses, authors are finding that they have to be a stronger advocate for themselves. Most aspiring authors know it’s essential to have built a strong platform before their book has been acquired, but it’s also essential to maintain that engagement and build even after their book has published. It can be daunting, but today, authors are fortunate to have so many avenues of engagement to pursue.

May’s submission deadline will be May 22nd, due to the Memorial Day.

Below is this month’s picture prompt for those of you who like them. This illustration is by Maria Bogade. She was featured on Illustrator Saturday on Feb. 9th 2013 and I missed showing off this illustration. Thought it might provide some inspiration for a story. You do not have to use it. Feel free to submit a first page from a work in progress.

WRITERS Sending in a First Page: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “May First Page Critique” or “May First Page Picture Prompt Critique” in the subject line. Make sure you have your name on the submission, a title, and indicate the genre. Also let me know if you were able to post of facebook or Tweet. You will get your name in the basket for each time you comment, tweet, or mention on facebook, giving you a better chance of being picked. If you end up doing more things to get additional entries, then e-mail me a note by May 20th. The four chosen and their critiques will be posted on May 31st.

Call for illustrations for May: Thank you to everyone who sent in an illustration for April. There are a couple that I didn’t get up. I promise I will use them in the days to come.

You can send anything, but I am especially looking for illustrations that reflect the month. I hope you will send something for May. This is a good way to get your work seen. Don’t wait, I will post the illustrations as they come in. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “May Illustration” in the subject box.

IN DOYLETOWN,PA – Tomorrow:

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Each Month I try to give Writers and Illustrator a chance to be noticed and further their craft.

If you are one of the writers who liked the First Page Picture Prompt, you can use the illustration below by Versper Stamper to inspire a new first page. www.vespersongs.com/

1. If you are writing a book, you have the chance for editor Kate Sullivan from Little, Brown, & Company to read and critique your first page.

2. If you are a published author, you have a chance to be the Featured Author of the Month – be interview and get your book or book seen.

3. Illustrator’s have a chance to be featured on Illustrator Saturday.

4. Illustrators who have already been featured on Illustrator Saturday, Illustrators who want t be considered for Illustrator Saturday, or Illustrators just starting out and do not have enough artwork to be featured, can still get their artwork or new illustrations seen by professionals in the industry by participating.

In order to narrow the submissions down, I have come up with the following:

1. If you choose to follow me or are already following me, you will get your name put into the basket.

2. If you put a link up on your blog or website, you will get your name put in the basket. If you have both, you can choose to put a link on both and get your name in twice.

3. Do two Tweets about a post on my blog and get your name in the basket. This can be repeated three additional times for a total of four times in the basket. Tweets must be done on separate dates.

4. Post something on Facebook and get your name in the basket.

5. Do it all and you will have your name in the basket eight times. On November 24th I will put all the names in the basket and I will pull out ten names and read the first pages that go with the name. Out of those ten, I will pick 4 to send to our quest critiquer for November.

Here is what you need to do:

WRITERS: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “December First Page Critique” or “December First Page Picture Prompt Critique” in the subject line. Make sure you have your name on the submission, a title, and indicate the genre. Also let me know which steps you took, so I will know how many times to put your name in the basket. If you end up doing more things to get additional entries, then e-mail me by December 19th (This is a few days earlier, because of the holidays) with the updated number you have completed. Please let me know what you have done and when, so I can check it out.

Published Children’s Book Writers: You can also participate by doing one or more of the five above steps to get your name in the “Book Feature” hat. If your name is drawn, I will do a post featuring your book, an interview, bio, and pictures of the cover and interior art (if that applies). Author Susan Hood was the winner for October. Ann Rinaldi was the winner in November.

Please put “December Children’s Book Promo” in the subject area and let me know the steps you took, so I can put the correct amount of slips in the basket. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Deadline November 24th.

ILLUSTRATORS: If you are an illustrator, you can participate and choose to get featured on Illustrator Saturday or get your new book featured by following the five steps for the writers. Please put “December Illustrator Feature” in the subject area. I will need to know what steps you completed to get into the basket and I will need a few illustrations or if you want to promote your book, then send the name and cover along. Also include a promotional blurb. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com.

Call for illustrations for December (You do not have to be narrowed down to send in a piece of art for December). I’m looking for Christmas, Chanukah, New Years, and or a winter scene illustrations. You do not have to wait, I will post the illustrations as they come in. I would like to have them no later than November 25th, since it is hard to find the right place for your work, instead of squeezing it in at the end of the month. I would love to have something to go with the election on Tuesday. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “December Illustration” in the subject box.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

If you are writing a book, you have the chance for editor Kate Sullivan from Little, Brown, & Company to read and critique your first page.

Kate Sullivan is an editor for Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, working primarily on commercial and literary Middle Grade and Young Adult fiction. She is the editor of Ash by Malinda Lo, an ALA William C Morris YA Debut Award finalist and Lambda Award for YA nominee. Kate also works with international bestselling authors Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Cornelia Funke, and Darren Shan. Upcoming, she has a YA steampunk series by New York Times bestselling adult author Gail Carriger, and a MG fantasy epic cowritten by New York Times bestselling authors Melissa Marr and Kelley Armstrong.

She is primarily looking for novels that make her laugh aloud on a crowded subway, are smart without being boring, feature monsters, or have strong, defiant characters (who may or may not have a penchant for monstrous behavior). Previous to working at LBYR, Kate worked at Walker Books for Young Readers, where she worked on picture books, MG, and YA.

For the writers who liked the First Page Picture Prompt, you can use the illustration below by Versper Stamper to inspire a new first page. www.vespersongs.com/ .  Everyone else is free to send in any first page they have written.

1. If you are a published author, you have a chance to be the Featured Author of the Month – be interview and get your book or book seen.

2. Illustrator’s have a chance to be featured on Illustrator Saturday.

3. Illustrators who have already been featured on Illustrator Saturday, Illustrators who want t be considered for Illustrator Saturday, or Illustrators just starting out and do not have enough artwork to be featured, can still get their artwork or new illustrations seen by professionals in the industry by participating.

In order to narrow the submissions down, I have come up with the following:

1. If you choose to follow me or are already following me, you will get your name put into the basket.

2. If you put a link up on your blog or website, you will get your name put in the basket. If you have both, you can choose to put a link on both and get your name in twice.

3. Do two Tweets about a post on my blog and get your name in the basket. This can be repeated three additional times for a total of four times in the basket. Tweets must be done on separate dates.

4. Post something on Facebook and get your name in the basket.

5. Do it all and you will have your name in the basket eight times. On November 24th I will put all the names in the basket and I will pull out ten names and read the first pages that go with the name. Out of those ten, I will pick 4 to send to our quest critiquer for November.

Here is what you need to do:

WRITERS: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “December First Page Critique” or “December First Page Picture Prompt Critique” in the subject line. Make sure you have your name on the submission, a title, and indicate the genre. Also let me know which steps you took, so I will know how many times to put your name in the basket. If you end up doing more things to get additional entries, then e-mail me by December 19th (This is a few days earlier, because of the holidays) with the updated number you have completed. Please let me know what you have done and when, so I can check it out.

Published Children’s Book Writers: You can also participate by doing one or more of the five above steps to get your name in the “Book Feature” hat. If your name is drawn, I will do a post featuring your book, an interview, bio, and pictures of the cover and interior art (if that applies). Author Susan Hood was the winner for October. Ann Rinaldi was the winner in November.

Please put “December Children’s Book Promo” in the subject area and let me know the steps you took, so I can put the correct amount of slips in the basket. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Deadline November 24th.

ILLUSTRATORS: If you are an illustrator, you can participate and choose to get featured on Illustrator Saturday or get your new book featured by following the five steps for the writers. Please put “December Illustrator Feature” in the subject area. I will need to know what steps you completed to get into the basket and I will need a few illustrations or if you want to promote your book, then send the name and cover along. Also include a promotional blurb. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com.

Call for illustrations for December (You do not have to be narrowed down to send in a piece of art for December). I’m looking for Christmas, Chanukah, New Years, and or a winter scene illustrations. You do not have to wait, I will post the illustrations as they come in. I would like to have them no later than November 25th, since it is hard to find the right place for your work, instead of squeezing it in at the end of the month. I would love to have something to go with the election on Tuesday. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “December Illustration” in the subject box.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

IT IS TIME TO NOMINATE WRITING AND ILLUSTRATING www.kathytemean.wordpress.com for the WRITER’S DIGEST’S 101 BEST WEBSITES FOR WRITERS!

If you have enjoyed the articles and information you received everyday this year, please help by dominating my blog. Submit an email to writersdigest@fwmedia.com to nominate my blog www.kathytemean.wordpress.com

I would greatly appreciate your help.

Thanks!

I am sorry that I forgot to chose the winner for Susan Deitwiler picture book give-a-way. Now, I am busy at a writer’s retreat. I want to do it right, so I will announce it on Monday – Promise! Please check back.

I’d like to introduce you to JANINE HAUBER, Agent, Sheldon Fogelman Agency. She has agreed to be Guest Critiquer for March. She will read and critique 4 first pages and will be part of the faculty at the New Jersey SCBWI Conference in June.

This is a great way to do your homework and get a feel for Janine. Check out the other faculty who have been Guest Critiquers:

Jenne Abramowitz Senior Editor, Scholastic

Heather Alexander Associate Editor at Dial BFYR

John Cusick, Agent, Greenhouse Literary

Liza Fleissig, Agent, Liza Royce Agency

Rachel Orr, Agent, Prospect Agency

Janine has been with the Sheldon Fogelman Agency since 2010, where she has worked with award-winning clients such as Jerry Pinkney, Peggy Rathmann, Karen Beaumont, Mo Willems, Diane Stanley, and T. A. Barron. As foreign rights manager, Janine has licensed translation rights in more than 20 languages and represented the agency and its clients at the Bologna Children’s Book Fair.

She’s actively building her own list and is open to representing picture books, middle grade books, young adult books – all types of children’s books of all genres.

WRITERS Sending in a First Page: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “March First Page Critique” or “March First Page Picture Prompt Critique” in the subject line. Make sure you have your name on the submission, a title, and indicate the genre. Also let me know if you were able to post of facebook or Tweet. That will get your name in the basket an additional time, when I am choosing the four pages. If you don’t have either of these, just leave a comment and let me know. If you end up doing more things to get additional entries, then e-mail me a note by March 23rd. The four chosen and their critiques will be posted on March 29th.

The above is the First Page Picture Prompt for March. Illustrated by Jen Betton. Jen was featured on illustrator Saturday if you would like to see more of her work. http://wp.me/pss2W-6bk You can also visit her website: www.jenbetton.com or her blog: www.jenbetton.blogspot.com

AUTHORS: If you have a new book coming out and want to be considered for a post, please e-mail me at: Kathy.temean (at) gmail.com

Call for illustrations for March: You can send anything, but I am especially looking for illustrations that reflect the month of March. Last month I did not get many of your illustrations. I hope you will send something in. You do not have to wait, I will post the illustrations as they come in. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “March Illustration” in the subject box.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

MEREDITH MUNDY, Executive Editor, Sterling Children’s Books has agreed to being April’s Guest Critiquer. If you haven’t met Meredith, you can meet her at the New Jersey SCBWI Conference in Princeton, NJ this June. She is a wonderful editor and a lovely person. She knows her stuff.

Meredith Mundy has been with Sterling Children’s Books for 8 years, following 11 years at Dutton Children’s Books. She is nuts about character-centered picture books (recent projects include The Big Bad Wolf Goes on Vacation by Delphine Perret, A Pirate’s Twelve Days of Christmas by Philip Yates, and Ten on the Sled by Kim Norman), but she is also seeking everything from funny, original board books to unforgettable middle grade novels to YA fiction. (No vampires, angels, mermaids, or werewolves, please, and she doesn’t usually acquire historical fiction.) While she enjoys editing nonfiction, she wouldn’t be the right editor for poetry collections or a project geared primarily toward the school and library market.

WRITERS Sending in a First Page: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “April First Page Critique” or “April First Page Picture Prompt Critique” in the subject line. Make sure you have your name on the submission, a title, and indicate the genre. Also let me know if you were able to post of facebook or Tweet. That will get your name in the basket an additional time, when I am choosing the four pages. If you don’t have either of these, just leave a comment and let me know. If you end up doing more things to get additional entries, then e-mail me a note by April 20th. The four chosen and their critiques will be posted on April 26th.

This first page picture prompt was done by Susan Dietwiler. Susan was feature on March 9th. You can use this link http://wp.me/pss2W-6jt to view her artwork.

AUTHORS: If you have a new book coming out and want to be considered for a post, please e-mail me at: Kathy.temean (at) gmail.com

Call for illustrations for April: You can send anything, but I am especially looking for illustrations that reflect the month. I hope you will send something in. Last month, I did not receive very many. This is a good way to get your work seen. Don’t wait, I will post the illustrations as they come in. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “April Illustration” in the subject box.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Can you believe it is June already. The Picture Prompt below was illustrated by Nancy Cote. She was featured on last Saturday.

Please use it to help inspire a first page. I will announce the our Guest Critiquer next week. The deadline for submitting a first page for critique is June 23rd. I will post four of the pages along with the agents comments on June 29th.

Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “May 26th First Page Prompt” in the subject line.

ILLUSTRATORS: This month I am looking for illustration that will show off some summer fun. Here is your chance to show off a little. I will post the illustrations as they come in during the month, but I will definitely post all by June 30th, so I need to receive your illustrations no later than June 26th. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and includes a blurb about you and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “June Illustration” in the subject box.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Agent Susan Hawk at The Bent Agency has agreed to be our Guess Critiquer for June.  Susan worked for over 15 years in marketing children’s books, most recently as the Marketing Director at Henry Holt Books for Young Readers, and previously as the Library Marketing Director at Penguin Young Readers Group. While at Penguin, she also worked for a time in Dutton Editorial, acquiring books for their list. Susan handles books for children exclusively: picture books, chapter books, middle grade and YA, fiction and non-fiction. In middle-grade and YA, she’s looking for something that makes her laugh out loud.

In middle-grade and YA, I’m looking for something that makes me laugh out loud. She’s a sucker for bittersweet, and she can’t resist a character that comes to understand how perfectly imperfect the world is. She wants a book to stay with her long after she finishes reading it, and she’s looking for powerful, original writing. She’s open to mystery, scifi, humor, boy books, historical, contemporary (really any genre). Her favorite projects live at the intersection of literary and commercial. In non-fiction she’s looking for books that relate to kids’ daily lives and their concerns with the world. In picture books, she’s looking particularly for author-illustrators, succinct but expressive texts, and characters as indelible as her childhood favorites: Ferdinand, Madeline, George and Martha.

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By: Kathy Temean, on 6/28/2012
Blog: Writing and Illustrating (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags:  authors and illustrators, Competition, inspiration, opportunity, Writer's Prompt, Agent Susan Hawk, Brian Bowes, First Page picture prompt, Add a tag

I know all of you expected to read the first pages submitted and what Susan Hawk had to say about each of them, but Susan’s computer crashed and it’s at the doctors. So I am going to put up July’s Picture Prompt today, instead of next Friday and post Susan’s comments for June on July 6th. On the bright side, this give you more time to write. Here is the First Page Picture Prompt created by illustrator Brian Bowes for July:

Brian Bowes was featured this year on Illustrator Saturday.  http://kathytemean.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/illustrator-saturday-brian-bowes/ I think all of Brian’s illustrations could tell lots of stories, so I think you will have fun writing for this one. You can see more of Brian’s work by visiting his website: www.studiobowesart.com

WRITERS:  Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “July 23rd First Page Prompt” in the subject line.

ILLUSTRATORS: You still have until July 26th to submit an illustration for June. I’m looking for illustrations that are “Out of this world”.  I am going to let you interpret that and use your imagination.  So show off a little and send it something for July. I will post the illustrations as they come in during the month, but I will definitely post all by July 31st. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “June Illustration” in the subject box.

Check back next week for Susan Hawk and June’s first page critiques.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Filed under: authors and illustrators, Competition, inspiration, opportunity, Writer's Prompt Tagged: Agent Susan Hawk, Brian Bowes, First Page picture prompt 0 Comments on Free Fall Friday – Guest Critiquer Susan Hawk as of 1/1/1900

Here are the first pages submitted and critiqued by Agent Susan Hawk:

The Dream Pond – MG by Eileen Balesteri 

“She’s not coming.” Emily whispered to Teague with a nervous fidget. 

“You worry too much,” he said, gently patting the tops of her knuckles, still gripped tightly on the boat’s ledge.

Emily’s older sister, Abigail, lived by her own rules, always thinking outside of the box.  That’s probably why she discovered the Dream Pond, first.

 “She’s always late.”

“I know,” Emily said, “But this time feels different.  We went straight to bed after our grandparents left Abbie’s birthday dinner, so she has to be dreaming by now, right?”

“Has anything changed at your house since last month’s full moon?”  Teague asked.  “No.  We did everything the same as we always do.  Abbie held me when we went to sleep, just like the first time she brought me here.” 

Abigail had told her about the Dream Pond months before they discovered it was actually real.  She described the peaceful, watering hole, inhabited by kids with different accents and unusual animals. When the magic of the place opened up, the wise owls would spout poetry, and the birds sang full operas in flight as they dipped and swirled in and out of the warm, clear water.

Abigail hadn’t really meant to bring her along that first time.  Emily had been unable to sleep after watching a scary movie one night, so her older sister let her share her tiny, twin bed.   They had no idea that her sister’s embrace would somehow pull Emily into Abigail’s dream, leading her to this extraordinary haven.

When Emily showed up at the Dream Pond with Abigail and the others that first night, they knew there was something special, something real about this place.  That was when they decided to exchange addresses and numbers from their different homes all over the world. 

Teague lived in England, and it was his letter that they received first in the waking hours. 

Susan Hawk:

I liked the tension here, the anxiety that Emily is feeling as she waits for her sister is palpable.  I’m also interested in Teague and Emily’s relationship.  I have the sense that he’s older than she is, given that he’s reassuring her and trying to ease her anxiety.  I’m intrigued by the idea of a Dream Pond, a meeting place for kids from across the world, who are then able to communicate in real life as well. 

I’m confused about some of the mechanics of this place.  I’m not sure how Abigail could have told Emily about the Dream Pond before knowing that it’s real.  Did she dream, or imagine, it into existence?  I’m also unclear how Emily traveled there the first time (by going into Abigail’s dream?), and if she still travels to the Pond in this fashion (if she must go via Abigail’s dreams, how can she get there before Abigail does?). 

Though I’m curious about the answers to these questions, I think you might save explanations for later in your story.  Here, in the opening, focus on the immediate problem that your character is facing, and what is motivating them in this moment, so that the reader connects to your story right away.

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Untitled by Barbara Gold

 Black sky moved over us. Soon the moon would be h

Agent at Sheldon Fogelman Agency has agreed to be our Guest Critiquer for July. Sean works on children’s books for all ages at the Sheldon Fogelman Agency in NYC. His clients include Zachariah O’Hora, Hyewon Yum, Mark Fearing and Hillary Homzie.

He is drawn to flawed, multi-faceted characters with devastatingly concise writing in YA, and boy-friendly mysteries or adventures in MG. In picture books, he looks more for unforgettable characters, off-beat humor, and especially clever endings. He is actively looking for new clients, but he is not currently interested in high fantasy, message-driven stories, historical fiction or query letters that pose too many questions.

Here is the prompt for July:

Brian Bowes was featured this year on Illustrator Saturday. http://kathytemean.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/illustrator-saturday-brian-bowes/ I think all of Brian’s illustrations could tell lots of stories, so I think you will have fun writing for this one. You can see more of Brian’s work by visiting his website: www.studiobowesart.com

WRITERS: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “July 23rd First Page Prompt” in the subject line.

ILLUSTRATORS: You still have until July 26th to submit an illustration for June. I’m looking for illustrations that are “Out of this world”. I am going to let you interpret that and use your imagination. So show off a little and send it something for July. I will post the illustrations as they come in during the month, but I will definitely post all by July 31st. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “June Illustration” in the subject box.

Hope you submit something.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

0 Comments on Free Fall Friday – Guest Critiquer Announced as of 1/1/1900

You still have a few days to submit you first page picture prompt for agent Sean McCarthy from Sheldon Fogelman Agency to critique. 

Illustrators:  No one has sent anything for me to show off.  Was “Out of this World” to hard? Heck, any animal doing human things could be considered “Out of this World”.  I hope you will send something in, because it give you a chance to be seen and everyone loves the artwork. 

A little bit about Sean McCarthy:  He is drawn to flawed, multi-faceted characters with devastatingly concise writing in YA, and boy-friendly mysteries or adventures in MG. In picture books, he looks more for unforgettable characters, off-beat humor, and especially clever endings. He is actively looking for new clients, but he is not currently interested in high fantasy, message-driven stories, historical fiction or query letters that pose too many questions.

Here is the prompt for July:

Brian Bowes was featured this year on Illustrator Saturday. http://kathytemean.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/illustrator-saturday-brian-bowes/ I think all of Brian’s illustrations could tell lots of stories, so I think you will have fun writing for this one. You can see more of Brian’s work by visiting his website: www.studiobowesart.com

WRITERS: Please attach your double spaced, 12 point font, 23 line first page to an e-mail and send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com. Also cut and paste it into the body of the e-mail. Put “July 23rd First Page Prompt” in the subject line.

ILLUSTRATORS: You still have until July 26th to submit an illustration for June. I’m looking for illustrations that are “Out of this world”. I am going to let you interpret that and use your imagination. So show off a little and send it something for July. I will post the illustrations as they come in during the month, but I will definitely post all by July 31st. Please make sure the illustration is at least 500 pixels wide and include a blurb about yourself and a link to see more of your work. Please send it to kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com and put “June Illustration” in the subject box.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy

Agent Sean McCarthy was nice enough to read five of the first page prompts sent in for review. I thank him and I hope some of you take the time to thank Sean, too. He was very generous with his time.  It’s easy to see that Sean is someone who really cares about improving the quality of children’s books.

As a reminder the illustration on the left done by Brian Bowes was the picture prompt for this month.

Here are the first pages and Sean’s comments:

COPERNICA by Lauri Meyers 

            I banged my foot on the side of the blaster to put out the fire.  Old One-Eye got too close that time.  Good thing I didn’t skip the fire retardant dip today or I would have been toast. My brother would have been mad if he had to tell mom I got fried to a crisp getting birthday cake.

            Mom was still going to be steamed when she figured out we made the supply run.   I hoped she would ease up when our little brother got to taste chocolate cake for the first time.  Mom told me I had a chocolate cake when I turned four.  I think it was sweet and maybe a little spicy.  I would remember it this time.  Everything tastes sweeter when you battle a dragon for it.

            “On your left!” Alistar yelled before a swift turn right.

            “Whoa where did the second dragon come from?” I said adjusting my hold.  It was one thing to die getting cake.  It was another thing to die because you are daydreaming about cake.  I checked my supply bag.  The cake was safe. The medical supplies we picked up were good too.  The magazine in my pants was poking me in the ribs after the quick move.  Alistar would lecture me if he knew I had extra cargo. I would have to hide it from my friends too.  I didn’t want to get it back with crumpled pages, circled outfits, and drool on the pictures of stars.  I was going to know 10 years ago styles better than anyone.

            One crazy scientist and a dragon egg was enough to seriously disrupt the fashion industry.  Who knew dragons didn’t need a mate to reproduce? One became hundreds in a few years. We are pretty safe in the country, but London is lost.  I don’t know if the dragons figured out how to cross the ocean, but there hadn’t been yankee doodle rescue attempts in a few years.

            “Hold on, Nic!” Alistar shouted before dropping under the bridge.  I tightened my grip.  No one called me Copernica anymore.  You don’t want to get chomped because someone politely used your full name before getting to the part about the fire-breathing dragon standing behind you. 

Here’s Sean:

With dystopian manuscripts, it’s crucial to immediately establish how the character’s world is different from the current landscape, and to set the manuscript apart from other books within the genre. I liked that you took chocolate cake and fashion magazines, and transformed them into something exotic. This, along w/ the dragon references, let’s the reader know what kind of story to expect. 

With that being said, the amount of information that’s being presented to the reade