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I flew back to Phoenix Monday evening after eleven days in Ohio filled with wedding shenanigans, happy tears, and beer. I missed my Jake terribly (Ripley, too), and I’m indubitably happy to be home. Now looking back on my trip, I feel it was all very, very necessary. Yes, even the penis veil.

Saturday the 20th of August was my bridal shower and bachelorette party. Was I nervous? Holy hell, yes. I don’t like to be the center of attention, especially when being the center involves opening kitchen utensils in front of twenty of my mom’s best friends. Aunt Susie, my Maid of Honor, made it a lot easier. Her yard looked like a magical fairyland. It usually does in August, living in the beautiful summer climate of Perrysburg, Ohio. She even picked fresh mint from her garden and made me a mojito as the guests arrived. It turned out not to be as scary as I expected. I’m a small talk diva, and my mom’s sangria helped.

I ran home and changed and then, at 6:30, was escorted to my bachelorette party. I need to say it again: my bachelorette party. It was so surreal! I’ve been to several bachelorette parties in my day, but it was always for someone else. It was never me getting married. Now, it’s ME! I’m getting married! I won’t get into all of it. I will say we drank quite a bit of tequila. My girlfriends—from elementary school through to post-college—got along as though they’d known each other for twenty years, and I wore several penis-adorned decorative items.

The best moment? We were at a bar when my gal pal January grabbed me and shoved me into a chair. Journey’s “Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’” started playing, and the door to the bar opened. I looked left and there was a man in naval garb. No, it wasn’t Jake. It was Jan’s husband, Randy—a dear friend of mine and Jake’s—and you guessed it, he performed a rousing strip routine down to his leopard-print boxers. It was … amazing. I was hung-over the next day, so my dad and I watched Lonesome Dove—all six hours of it. He had his usual beer and Cheez-its at 4:30 PM. I did not (blech).

Skip ahead to Thursday. If you do, yes, you’re skipping over great days and nights spent one-on-one with some of my favorite people. This trip was really about one-on-one time. The moments spent catching up with friends and family members are some of the most memorable moments of the past two weeks, which is why Thursday was so important. Not only did I get to spend countless hours with my little brother, but I spent those hours in Athens, Ohio, home of me and Matt’s alma mater, Ohio University, recently named the #1 party school in the country.

That Thursday night I was up until 5 AM. The night was spent eating at my favorite Athens restaurant, Casa Nueva, and drinking freshly handmade margaritas. It was spent at my favorite bars, cackling with my brother and some of his best friends (who were wonderful). After hours, Matt sang me the song he wrote for me and Jake’s wedding ceremony, and I sobbed. He said I once told him that great relationships are “easy.” There’s no drama, no muss, no fuss, only peace, love, and laughter.  The song he wrote for us is about that, and I hope he’ll soon find a woman who makes his life feel easy,

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I attended Ohio University for several reasons. 1) Even though I visited during the dreaded cicada season, it was still one of the most beautiful places on earth. 2) Its journalism school kicked butt. 3) It was way more affordable than out-of-state. And 4) Well … come on, let’s be honest: it was a party school, most notably on the night of Halloween.

As I’ve mentioned before, Athens, Ohio, has been called one of the most haunted places on the planet, and, perhaps by coincidence, the city is also host to one of the largest Halloween block parties in the nation. Every year anywhere from 10,000 to 30,000 costumed party goers fill Court Street in Uptown Athens. Lucky me, I lived on Court Street my junior and senior years. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I was drunk the first night I set foot in Athens, Ohio, after unpacking all my junk, meeting my new roommate (Katie Nichols/Laver, the sweetest girl on earth), and saying goodbye to my tearful ma and pa. Literally, as soon as our parents’ cars could be seen driving away from Washington Hall on East Green, Katie and I turned to each other and said, “So what are we doing tonight?” We went out, wandered around, and ended up at an upper-class kegger. I was eighteen! Drinking a beer! And I didn’t have to worry about my parents finding out! Because they were back in Perrysburg!

The months continued liked this, until it was made apparent: Halloween is a big deal. You must have a good costume. You must hang out on Court Street. You must possibly get arrested for public urination. It was all part of the tradition. The first year, I was a mafia princess. The second year, I was Trinity from The Matrix, and by the second year, three of my best friends rolled into town for the event. Halloween in Athens became their tradition, too. Even Jake was in Athens for Halloween one year, while I was at the university. It’s a small world … where Halloween celebration at Ohio University is concerned.

The main attraction of Halloween in Athens was Court Street, my home for two years. The City of Athens closed down the entire street to accommodate the crowds, and as spectators/ participants, we gratefully obliged. The walk to Court Street was always a challenge, even when I lived there. By the time you actually left your house, you’d probably been drinking for about six hours. (One year a visiting pal of mine never even made it to Court Street. She blamed it on the avid game of flip cup we’d played that afternoon.)

Once on Court Street, the drunkenness of the entire town functioned as a contact high. You made friends and got hugs from perfect strangers—especially if they were dressed as, say, Indiana Jones or a postal carrier. It was a good thing you made new friends, because you usually lost the ones you came with anyway. (Once, I lost another out-of-town visitor on Court Street, only

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