For years I have felt clipped down.
Every time I jump to fly I get cut down by my circumstances and emotions.
I have allowed them control of my life...ALL aspects of my life. As an artist this gives me a lot of substance to work with, but it also holds me back. Way back.
I prelude this post with that because I want you to understand where I'm coming from. As a wife to an amazing man (they're rare and I was blessed with one!); a mother to a baby girl who loves to make you laugh and smiles so bright; a homemaker with a solid, strong house we just can't believe is ours; a gift that I truly just adore, drawing truly is my soul; but I've been depressed, unhappy, at my ropes end over and over again, and I'm beyond tired.
I have talked about this before in past posts, it's not a secret that I keep, and I willingly share it because I know I AM NOT ALONE. Especially as a woman. We all suffer greatly with the multitude of responsibilities gifted to us. And I use the word gifted, because I now remind myself "I GET to be his wife, I GET to be her mom, I GET to do what I love for a living!". Wow, amen to that!
Back to what I'm saying...
my point is I'm done trying. I'm finished. Ta ta, bye bye, no more.
It's over.What better time to say that than the beginning of a new year! Here are some highlights of "wow" moments for me about this year:
15 years ago I graduated high school.I am 33 this year, the same age Jesus was when he sacrificed his life for mine.My daughter turns one January 28th.My husband has been supporting us for 5 years.I am at a place where I know now is the time to just stop. Stop trying to take control, stop making excuses, stop thinking so darn hard about what to do, and instead DO IT. Commit to my life.
Commit to my life.
I want to fly. I realized after years and years, the truth behind why I paint fairies, angels, and mermaids (thank you
Kelly for helping me get there). It's because they are free, or at least symbolize freedom. For a mermaid there is no ground and sky, they roam all of it. For a fairy there is not ground or sky untouched, they grace all of it. Angels can transcend time and realms between earth and heaven. Freedom. Flight. I'm inspired and take a deep breath. Amazing.
Commitment.
I purchased the abilities to have a shop on my website, and the whole site will be changing in the next couple of months. I am so excited to see the support from you, my followers, on Etsy, but to be honest the fees are starting to wear at the income I need to bring in for our family. Plus I will be able to offer so much more on my site, including my book, coloring book, and more. I can't wait!
I also purchased my first e-book,
Flying Lessons, by
Kelly Rae Roberts. I must say, I'm floored by how spot on she is as a teacher and coach. She's very airy, in depth, and in tuned with her creative spirit. I had mentioned her in the past (
read Life Inspired post here ), and how she inspires me....oh buddy does she inspire me. Her words, colors, textures, and how she shares being a seeker of Joy, filled with light, hope, and possibilities. As an artist I truly believe there are those of us who are called to be artisans of light. I KNOW I am one of them. I KNOW who I want to be, deep down inside, just waiting for the permission to FLY.
Her e-book not only helps the business end of things (which she lays it all down and hides no detail from you), she goes deep into facing your fears, finding your inspiration, your passion, your quiet whispering voice just waiting to come out. And then asks you to commit to your creative business. Merging both. Being both. Living with the joy it brings. Loving YOU.
Loving me as ME.
My spiritual path has started this year with a bang of AH HA, it's so much more than the e-book. We found a new church home we are so at peace with, the new messages being given, new tools handed to me, and renewed, meaningful relationships. It's all falling together amongst chaos, and I give all of the credit to Jesus. It's scary to say that in the open because I know what is attached to that in so many ways, on so many levels, but as a former practicing witch, spiritually seeking wanderer, and a highly curious person, it is by his grace I am where I am today. I have to squint to stay focused, but I'm committed. Committed to him and my life.
There is so much more for my business, and to share. Changes are coming visually for the blog (it will most likely be moving) and website, my approach, and you may even see just a tad bit of change in how I paint. Look for it, and let me know what you think. I hope you're just as excited as I am.
Happy New Year everyone!
We all have dreams and aspirations they grow within us from any age, from the time we’re two years old and scribbling on any blank piece of paper in sight to the years in university when your dreaming up a life of bigger things you want to do and places you may want to go. Although as time goes by sometimes unless your extremely determined you can feel swayed or lose sight of the things you dreamed of and that’s why you need to grab a pen and sketch them out.
Sketching out your dreams keeps them in sight, gives you a reference to go back to when your feeling a tad lost in your aspirations or feel your not sure where your going. So here are 5 steps to sketching out your own creative dream for 2014.
1. Grab a huge piece of paper or wallpaper roll across the floor , a couple of pens and your inspiration and start doodling and jotting out your aspirations and future plans.
2 . Break them down with someone who motivates you the little steps you need to do to work towards those dreams ( They don’t seem so far away when the two of you narrow them down into tiny steps).
3. Start paving roots and pathways to begin implimenting your plans .
4. Meet new people and make connections with those who might help you on your way to where you want to be :).
5. Block out those niggling negative thoughts and “I can’t do this”, stay positive if something doesn’t work out brush yourself down and keep going as being self motivated is key and the effort you put in is sure to pay off.
Image by Designer Alyssa Nassner you can find more about her and her designs “here”.
It’s definitely more appropriate to share your accomplishments, but what about rejection? This topic hasn’t really been as openly discussed as much as it should be. I’m going to wear my heart on my sleeve here and hope by sharing this experience it eases the pain a little for other creatives who’s gone through similar situations.
As a freelancer, trying to establish yourself can be quite draining.There are a few words and situations that can be traumatizing enough to threaten the livelihood of ones career. “Send me your KILL FEE” has been by far my worst and biggest fear come true.
A couple of years ago I was approached by a widely known establishment to illustrate something to go with a copy they were planning on releasing. I really wasnt clear on why I was chosen to do this commission since they wanted me to illustrate something loose and abstract. I wasn’t sure I would be able to meet their vision but I had to try. After all, this client was on top of the list of companies I’d always wanted to work with.
I spent a few days trying to create something engaging and abstract. When I sent in my inital sketches for the said artwork I got feedback to REWORK, EXPLORE, REVISE. So i did as I was suggested, days later I sent in my revisions and got the most devestating reply I had ever read:
“This isn’t working. Send me your kill fee”
(For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, a “kill fee” is otherwise known as a cancellation fee. It’s a percentage of the originally agreed upon payment that the client is required to pay should the project be terminated.)
My heart sank to my stomach. I read the message over and over again trying to wrap my brain around this horrifc sentence. I wanted to reply, no, call them to give me another chance. But I knew that pleading wouldn’t be the most professional thing to do. So I took a deep breath, ignored my quivering fingers and replied with an invoice graciously.
The days that followed were pretty bad. It felt like a really bad break up. I went through the first four stages of grief within the following weeks. At
first I denied the whole thing ever happened by deleting any evidence of correspondence. I even deleted the invoice and contract out of my records.
Afterwards I completely broke down. I cried. I cried for days (my eyes hadn’t been this puffy since they cancelled Punky Brewster) and I drowned myself in massive amounts of self pitty. After a couple of weeks, I learned to accept the loss but I wasn’t completely over the whole scenario. I took a one month break from everything. I closed the door to my studio and replaced productivity with a full days worth of sitcoms and reality shows. Fun.
If it weren’t for my family and friends, getting out of this funk would’ve been ten times harder. Having a support system helps. It
The Sparky Interview is a series of posts where I highlight independent creative people and companies who inspire me to be better at the stuff I do.
They all wear their own brand of fire pants.
Libby and I first started working together in a midtown Manhattan insane asylum. By insane asylum, I mean litigation consulting firm. Creating forty-five bar charts at 3:00 AM for a courtroom presentation that same morning should not be considered by anyone to be an activity that emotionally balanced humans participate in. But there we were, with equally unbalanced attorneys sweating it out with us over the phone. We were all crazy. But we did things that defied the laws of possibility in graphics production.
These days, Libby and I have both created our own brands of helping people do crazy things with our graphics. The thing that impresses me most about Libby is her willingness to admit that she doesn’t know about a particular process – and then throws herself into becoming an expert without wasting any time.
I’ve also been dying to share her talents with you because her pattern collection is like hot buttered rum for your eyes. Not in a stinging, emergency-eye-wash-station kind of way. I mean, smooooth.
With that, I’ll just get into the interview and hear what Libby has to say.
Le Interview
Hi, Libby, thanks for being here. Please introduce yourself to our studio audience.
Hello, I’m Libby Unwin. I live in Denver with my husband, Matt, and dog, Molly. I like to draw.
Who is your ideal client?
Someone who is enthusiastic about the end result, someone who understands their role in the design process and enjoys it, and someone who knows when to say when. I’m a people-person, and like the nuances different personalities bring to each project. Sometimes the client is more fun than the work itself! (Can I say that out loud?)
I notice you really, really like creating patterns and are amazing at it. What led you down that road and where do see it taking your business?
Aww, thanks! I’ve been doing this since I can remember. In the 8th grade, I got in trouble for turning in a worksheet with only my name and a very intricate design completely filling the margins — no answers to the questions. That’s the first pattern I remember drawing. So, this has been itching for a very long time, but it never occurred to me that I could actually do this for a living. It made sense to be a graphic artist, so I became one and have been doing that professionally for about 8 years; it wasn’t until Alluminare contacted me last winter that I realized there was an industry called “surface design”. It unleashed something and I began drawing. And drawing. And drawing. That lead me to learning ab
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